Tomatoes and Labor
By:LivvyWriter
Rating-G or K
Disclaimer- I don't own any thing relating to Harry Potter or the references I make in here.
Summary- A hilarious telling of how Harry reacts when Hermione announces she's in labor and all action thereafter. Includes an angry Hermione, a frazzled Harry, a bubbly Ron, and an insane adventure.
Reviews- They make me work a whole heck of a lot faster.
"Can you pass me that tomato Harry?" Hermione asked eagerly, her hand waiting for the fruit.
Harry looked bewildered.
"What?" Hermione asked impatiently.
"What do you need a tomato for? You're eating cereal."
"Don't ask to know how pregnant women's minds think." Hermione said getting more irritated by the moment.
"Now just HAND OVER-"
"I know I know…the tomato." Harry tossed the tomato to Hermione and she caught it. Harry turned back around and continued to raid the fridge of their average sized flat. After grabbing a bottle of butterbeer, he walked over to their couch. He jumped over the back, landing squarely on the sofa.
As they both had grown up with muggles, they both had acquired a small taste for television. Harry picked up the remote and started to flip through channels. He came to the American TV show Maury, and watched as a young African American woman screamed about how her mother had her boyfriend's baby. The boyfriend, who was Caucasian and sitting on the couch, occasionally waving at the camera, looked unfazed by it all.
"That's ridiculous…he doesn't even look like the baby!" Harry said, snorting out some butterbeer.
"Harry.." Hermione started.
"I know honey, I'm turning it." Harry sighed and continued to flip channels.
"No Harry…it's time."
"Hermione, it's only 3 o'clock. 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire' doesn't come on for another two hours!"
"NO YOU PRAT! IT'S TIME! I'M GOING TO HAVE OUR BABIES!"
Harry sat in shock.
"N-n-now?" He stuttered.
"YES NOW!" Hermione threw the tomato at his head, and it landed with a loud plop on the left side of his face. Harry suddenly came out of his trance and said, "SUITCASE! I NEED THE SUITCASE!" He scampered around, grabbed the suitcase, and apparated to the hospital.
He stood in the middle of the Pregnancy Ward at St. Mungo's, and realized he was missing his wife.
"Bloody Hell! Why can't pregnant women apparate?"
He apparated back.
"So sorry baby!" He ran over to his wife, and apparated her back to the hospital.
"I can't believe you forgot me Harry!" Hermione glared at her husband.
"I forgot you were too big-I mean pregnant! Pregnant! You were too pregnant to apparate."
"Excuse me? You need to check in." A young blonde woman called their attention over to the desk. She stared at them for a few minutes expectantly. She popped her gum annoyingly. Harry remembered it was his cue to talk.
"Oh Yea! Hermione Granger-Potter. We're a couple days after her due date." The witch stared at them for a minute before rolling her eyes. She turned her attention to the log book. Then the phone rang, and she walked over and picked it off the hook.
"Hello St. Mungo's. Britney speaking. That's Britney with one t, not two- Oh hey Mandy! You don't say…no way. are you kidding me?" She perched her self on top of the desk and continued to chatter.
They waited.
And waited.
And waited.
"Yea, uh, Britney? With one t?" Hermione said obviously annoyed and in pain. Britney looked up and gave them a bored look.
"One moment..-No it was just a patient. No they'll be fine for a few minutes.."
"Incase you haven't noticed, I'm in labor. That means I will have a baby…b-a-b-y coming out of my vagina soon. That means get your bloody ass in gear and get me a Healer, and a room…..NOW!" Hermione snapped. Harry looked at his wife appraisingly.
Brittany with one T, got off the phone quickly, signed them in, and appointed them a room.
"Ah, it's time is it? This is excellent. Here Hermione." Luna Weasley approached them in full Medi-witch uniform, and offered something that looked like a wheelchair on steroids, complete with leather interior and a floating charm.
Hermione smiled gratefully and sat down, her hands resting on her belly and breathing in spurts. Harry grabbed her hand and squeezed reassuringly.
"Harr..Harry, go call RONNNNN!" She screamed in pain.
"Oh dear, contractions are coming closer and closer….Room 453." Luna tapped the chair with her wand and it set off by itself, Luna following.