Thanks for the reviews! Would love to take the time to answer all of them, but must leave for work in thirty minutes and I still have to shower and dress! But suffice it to say, you all have a handle on the situation and I think you all know where the relationship is going… but, as with all relationships, there will be new problems and obstacles along the way. Here's the next installment… and, I still don't own the legend or the story of Arthur or any of his knights! Sigh…
Sarah was the first person to enter the kitchen the next morning. The sun had just slipped above the horizon when she'd left the wall. She had spent the rest of the quiet night sitting up there, her back against the cold stone, thinking about what Galahad had told her. She was afraid to hope he was right, but she had finally come to the decision that he knew more about the man of her thoughts than she did. Then as she fixed his breakfast, she had decided that this morning she would find out the truth. One way or the other, she would know if there was a chance the love that had bloomed in her heart could be returned. If not, then she would deal with it.
She arranged the food on the tray and covered it with a cloth. She knew she needed to stop by her room and refresh. The lack of sleep surely could be seen on her face and the slight breeze she had enjoyed had picked up to blow her hair until it was a mass of tangles all over her head. But, she was sure he'd seen her look much worse and if he did have feelings for her, he'd have to get used to how she looked at her worst as well as her best.
She met only one or two people in the hall as she made her way to his room. It was still early, but having made up her mind sometime before dawn, she wouldn't make herself wait any longer. She knocked once gently, then opened the door, and stepped into the still dark room. She quietly walked over and placed the tray on the table beside his bed. She looked at him and saw him sleeping peacefully, his mouth slightly open as he snored gently. Smiling, she stepped closer to him and spoke softly, "Wake up, sleepyhead."
His only response was a gentle snort as his breathing was interrupted. She reached down and gently placed her hand on his face. He seemed to snuggle into her palm as he brought his arm up to encircle her waist, drawing her closer. She found herself wishing he knew it was her waist he had grabbed, but thought it more likely that he was having a dream about some other woman. She struggled gently to move a little and called his name a little louder. "Gawain, it's Sarah. I've brought you some food."
Then she pulled her hand away from his face and gently nudged his shoulder. His eyes opened slowly and she saw recognition in his eyes. "Sarah." Was all he said as he closed his eyes and smiled. The way he'd said her name made a chill run up her spine. He had sounded so sweet, so content. She quickly pulled out of his embrace and rattled the tray to get his attention. "Come on, Gawain, it's time to eat. Then I'll take the bandage off your wound. It probably is closed enough now that it needs to get some air."
Gawain had been dreaming when he opened his eyes and saw her standing over him with her hand on his face. In his dream, she had realized she loved him and had come to confess how she felt. Then he had pulled her into bed with him and was snuggling against her. He'd hoped it hadn't been a dream, but since it obviously was, oh well, at least she was here. He smiled groggily at her. "I'm not hungry. I just want to sleep a little longer."
Returning the smile, "Now, come on. You've been lying around too long, you'll get soft." She reached for his blanket, but before she had more than wrapped her fingers around the material, he grabbed her around the waist and rolled her onto the bed. "If you don't let me sleep, then I'll just keep you as my prisoner until I get the sleep I want!" He didn't open his eyes until he realized she wasn't putting up a struggle. When he opened his eyes he saw her staring back at him with eyes so wide open that he could see the whites all the way around. Her pupils were dilated so that he almost couldn't see the beautiful green color. He felt her trembling in his hold. Her reaction was anything but what he'd been prepared for and it frightened him to think she was afraid he'd hurt her.
"Sarah, are you alright? I was only teasing." He released her so she could get up, but still she lay perfectly still. Gawain made a move to sit up, "Sarah, say something." He took her hand in his and she sat up, jerking her hand from his as she did. "What were you thinking? You could have opened your wound again." She admonished him. She climbed off the bed and began to nervously straighten her skirt. She hoped he hadn't felt her heart pounding in her chest. She had thought he meant to kiss her when he grabbed her and she had waited, only to be confused when he released her so suddenly. She turned to the tray to hide her embarrassment. It was plain that he hadn't been interested in kissing her, only teasing her.
She felt him put his hands on her shoulders and stiffened automatically to hide what his touch made her feel. He turned her toward him, "Sarah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. It was kind of stupid, but I thought I'd surprise you with how well I'm feeling, thanks to your care." She looked up into his eyes and saw his concern. As much as she wanted to tell him she wasn't afraid, she just couldn't make her voice work. She lowered her eyes, trying to get control of herself and felt him release her and step back. Sarah finally got control of herself and raised her eyes to look at him.
Gawain felt her stiffen at his touch and he thought he'd messed up again. She couldn't even look at him and he'd let her go when she looked away. He was about to go back to the bed when she looked up and he saw the expression on her face. If he hadn't known better, he'd have thought it was desire he saw there. She kept her eyes focused on his as she took a step forward, closing the distance he had put between them. She reached up and touched his cheek as she said his name. That was all she said, but he heard the question in her tone. He reached out and moved a strand of her hair over her shoulder, then he cupped her face and lowered his lips to gently touch hers. He felt her lips tremble as she parted them beneath his. When he increased the pressure just a bit, he felt her raise her arms and wrap them around his neck.
Releasing her face, he wrapped his arms around her possessively and kissed her with all the pent up passion he'd held in check since she'd been visiting him as he recovered. Her response to his kiss made the spark of desire start to burn slowly and he reluctantly pulled away to look into her eyes. He heard her moan softly as he released her lips, "Sarah?" he whispered and saw her eyes slowly open. He saw them sparkle with her desire and he lowered his head to quickly capture her lips in a more passionate kiss.
As they kissed, his hands ran from her shoulder to her waist and he felt her slightly arch toward him. Without breaking the kiss, he swung her into his arms and stepped toward the bed. As he gently lowered her down, he moved to kiss her from her jaw line to her collar bone. She turned her head and moaned. "Oh, Sarah." He whispered breathlessly as he continued to nibble on her neck.
Sarah surprised herself when she reached up to touch Gawain's cheek. She had never felt so brazen in her life. But she had come here this morning to find out if he had feelings for her and she intended to see it through. If he didn't, she would deal with his rejection and her embarrassment later. When he began to kiss her, she knew he felt something. She just hoped it would be more than claiming another conquest, but with his lips on hers, she didn't know if she would stop him no matter what his reasons. She felt so alive in his arms. She moaned involuntarily when he pulled away and when he picked her up and said her name, she knew she would not be the one to break away from him. She would let him take her to his bed, even if it was for this one time.
Gawain felt her hands run across his shoulders and felt the touch lighten as she got near his wound. He kissed her lips, then raised his head. "As much as I want you right now, I will wait until I'm well and we've gone to your village. If your betrothed survived the attack, I don't want to be the cause of your guilt when you see him again." He saw her open her mouth to protest and placed his hand over her lips to silence her. "You have gone to such great lengths to remain faithful and if you find him, there will be no tension between us." Then he gently kissed the tip of her nose before slowly getting up.
He saw her close her eyes and take a deep breath, letting the air slowly slip past her lips. He could see the disappointment and knew he had left her senses reeling with the desire for satisfaction. But he would not give in to his own feelings. When he took her to his bed it would be completely. He wanted her mind and heart as well as her body. The feelings of dissatisfaction that had plagued him lately would never go away until he had what his father had found with his mother. He thought he might find it with Sarah. But not as long as she kept the hope that the man she was to marry was still alive.
He doubted she would ever love the man she thought him to be. He would spend the time it took to recover proving that he was more. He would spend this time winning her heart. Then if by some miracle, the man had survived, she could break it off with him and give herself to Gawain completely. He reached down and took her hand to help her get up. When she was standing in front of him, he ran his hands through her hair, "I'm sorry Sarah, I promised to be your friend and I will do nothing to make you think otherwise." He smiled and hugged her fiercely. "Now, what do you say to us going for breakfast together?"
As much as he had hoped for what almost happened, he wanted her to know that he loved her enough to wait until things could be right between them before he gave into his desire to love her completely. She already had a bad impression of him and he wanted her to know there was more to him than bedding women and drinking. Besides, he wasn't sure, but, he thought she was probably still a virgin. He would not let her first time be anything other than perfect between two people who loved each other. When he saw her embarrassed smile as she agreed to breakfast, he thought she understood what he was doing. He quickly started getting dressed. He wanted to get away from this bed as quickly as possible before he decided not to wait after all.
As they walked down the hall, he put his arm around her shoulders lightly so as not to seem overbearing. He wanted her to know he enjoyed being with her whether he ever took her to his bed. Well, maybe not ever, but until she was ready. He wondered at her silence, but assumed she still felt embarrassed at what had almost happened between them.
The security his gesture portrayed made her feel like the luckiest woman in the fortress. But she still didn't understand. If he had feelings for her as his friends said he did, why had he stopped and pushed her away? He said he'd be her friend. Maybe she had been the one who was right about why he was so eager to escort her. Maybe he was just being the grand knight taking care of the helpless maid. Oh, how she hoped not! She felt her face begin to blush as she remembered how she had responded to his petting. She had acted no different than the other wenches. The wenches she had condemned only days before. How ashamed she felt for being such a hypocrite. She vowed that no matter how much she came to love him before she left for home, she would do nothing to portray the kind of woman she had acted like before. She would be his friend and accept his friendship without thinking about what she had hoped would happen.