Disclaimer- As you all should know, none of the characters in this fic belong to me. They all belong to J.K Rowling, the author of Harry Potter. cough The only thing I am entitled to, is the plot and possibly any additional characters. Thank you for not suing me.

Summary- This is a story from the P.O.V of Draco Malfoy. He tells about his loss of Harry, and how he tries whole-heartedly to forgive him. It's almost like a diary, or the reader knowing what's in his mind. Draco battles the issue of trying to remember Harry and love the past, yet hate him for what he did to him at the same time. I hope you enjoy it, and it doesn't bore you too much. It will only consist of 2 or 3 chapters.

BTW, the song within this story is called "White Flag", by Dido.

And so, on with the story. Oh, and, please don't forget to review. I won't go on (unless I've got determination) if I don't know someone's reading it. So, thank you if you do review. It's much appreciated!

Chapter Title- Admittance

I know, you think that, I shouldn't still love you,

Or tell you that. But, if I didn't say it, would I still have felt it?

Where's the sense in that?

The burning in my heart is yet to cease. I cannot begin to explain the indescribable pain that has stricken me. It's dreadful for me to even remember why I hurt; thus, I've created a wall around the memory, hoping to block it out forever. My loss…my dearest, most valuable possession. I've lost it…lost it to my foolishness. The suffering, the hatred, and most of all, the pain, will never go away. I wish to forgive, but, for me…forgiving is forgetting. I cannot forget what he's done to me…he who has made me feel more emotion than I ever wanted to. I never asked to feel…to feel weak. To feel love. To feel hurt, and sick. I never, ever asked to feel hate! I may have felt hate…but I never wanted to feel it, never wanted to have to feel it, never wanted to feel it for only one person in particular.

Why? Why in the name of Merlin did he have to do this to me, when I'd opened up to him, and showed him who I was? He saw my weaknesses, saw that I was vulnerable, and in need of attention. All along, he'd criticized me, without me knowing. All along, he'd been repulsed by me. Wanting more than anything to rid of me. But, I was too naïve to know…know that he did not want what I had to offer. And yet, I want more than anything to have him back. I want now, to have him hold me again. Pretend he loves me again, and fake the possessive behaviour again. Missing this makes me ill, and thoughts run through my head. Thoughts that I wish to not think, but cannot help. I want to cry, oh, God, do I want to cry. But, no, I won't. Malfoys' do not cry. Ever. No matter how unbearable the pain, we do not cry.

I promise I'm not trying to make your life hurt,

Or return to where we were.

But I will go down with this ship, but I won't put mines up

And surrender. There will be no white flag above my door.

I'm in love, and always will be.

All I'd wanted was for him to open up to me, show me that he cared for me, as I did for him. Being cold to me, did nothing! It didn't do any good, Harry. I can't believe you used me the way you did, I can't. I don't want to. I won't believe that you used me. I refuse to accept the fact that you, a reject wizard, disowned me, a pureblood Malfoy! I'm a mess…I hate admitting to still loving you, God, how I do. Still, I pretend to hate you when in public. You don't even know that it's fake, and I'm sure you've assumed I truly do despise you. I do, though. I do loathe you, and for what you did to me. Don't you think for one minute, that it didn't faze me. I'm not over this yet. I never will be, until you're mine again. Of that you can be sure of.

I know I left too much mess and destruction, to come back again.

I caused nothing but trouble, I understand if you can't talk to me again.

And if you live by the rules, how it's over, than I'm sure that that makes sense.

Flashback

Draco and Harry are on the edge of the dark forest, just besides the lake, deep into the night. It is May 23rd, and a Saturday.

I ran a finger through the water, rippling it softly, before skipping a couple of rocks across it. Looking around, I noticed you edging along the dark forest; you were obviously trying to come unseen. Smiling to myself, I headed towards you, noticing you hesitating coming close; I quickened my pace. When I reached you, your expression was vacant. I did not see a loving look, nor one of admiration or romance. I myself fell ashen, afraid you may have come baring something I did not want to see or hear. I did not know that in the future, you would.

"Hello, Draco" you said sweetly, your face still proving otherwise. I smiled weakly, having had lost the happiness within me at the moment.

"Harry", I greeted.

"What're you doing out here tonight?"

"I should ask the same. But, from the looks of it, you obviously thought I'd be out here?"

"Blaise told me you weren't in your dorm, and I knew you hadn't been in the Great Hall, so I figured you came out to our spot" you said, dropping your gaze to my eyes. I couldn't help but feel a blush come over me, thinking that you'd actually been concerned about me and my whereabouts. Blushing because you'd still called the lake, "our spot". How wrong I was to think you'd ever care.

"Oh…well, I guess…er…" I didn't know what to say. At times like these, I never did. Suddenly, I felt your fingertips whisking across my jaw line, and taking final position on my cheek. The blush came back, and to stop you from removing your delicate fingers, I placed my hand over yours. I pressed it firmly against my cheek, feeling the warmth of your flesh against me. Soon, I noticed you'd been smiling at me, your eyes finally showing that passion I'd so desired. Or was it a hateful passion? Either way, I was totally oblivious to knowing how you'd felt. I never knew, only thought I did. To you, I was obsolete. For this moment, I ignored all this, and only paid attention to the kiss you'd planted on my parted lips. No, this wasn't supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to throw your heart and soul into that kiss. I wasn't used to this. Why? Why had you set me up like that, making me think you'd finally loved me honestly? I don't like being led on. But I allowed you to Harry. I allowed you to. I wasn't supposed to feel you in that kiss and you weren't supposed to put yourself in it. But, I couldn't resist it. I didn't want to. I loved every moment of it, and hated when we parted.

But I will go down with this ship, and I won't put mines up

And surrender. There will be no white flag above my door.

I'm in love, and always will be.

What happened next, though, oh do I love remembering, though it sickens me. The memory of you doing to me what you did, sickens me. But, I loved it, and still do. I'm going to fall asleep tonight, replaying over and over in my mind the night you'd made love to me for the last time. I'm going to fall asleep tonight, with a small, weak smile on my face. I want to cry again, but refuse to do so…I love you Harry. That's enough to cry about.

And when we meet, which I'm sure we will.

All that was there will be there still.

I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue.

And you will think that I've moved on.

But I will go down with this ship, and I won't put mines up

And surrender. There will be no white flag above my door.

I'm in love, and always will be.

I will go down with ship, and I won't put mines up,

And surrender. There will be no white flag above my door.

I'm in love, and always will be.

Authors Note: Okay, people, so what'd you think? I know, I could've done better, and that's why I want you to review! I want you, dear people, to tell me what to change, and all that good stuff. Let me know what you like, and didn't. I don't mind the constructive criticism, and please, no flames. Anyhow, I hope you liked it. I love that song, too, don't you? Ha, well, I'll be updating on this very soon, hopefully!