Thanks to all my reviewers! Sorry, I don't have time to respond to each individually, just got a few minutes until I leave for work... but, suffice it to say, that without you guys, there would be no reason to write. Again, thank you!
Disclaimer: Not my creation, just wish to expound on it a little for fun only, no money will be made from this.
The knights all sat around a small stand of trees that afforded a little shelter from the cool breeze that blew, and was sparse enough to allow a clear sight for many yards in all directions. Sarah sat next to Gawain only as long as it took her to eat the bread and jerky that had been put into the pack on her horse. After taking a drink from her water skin, she stood up and stretched her back trying to loosen the muscles that were screaming for being in one position for so long. Without realizing what she was doing, she began to rub her sore backside, only stopping when she heard Lancelot snicker. As she looked in his direction she realized what she had been doing and quickly jerked her hands in front of her. She wanted to give him a scalding look, but considering the blush she felt creeping up her cheeks, she knew it would be useless to do so. He had already seen her discomfort and wasn't about to let it go now.
"Beginning to get a little stiff, are we?" He nonchalantly shot at her, not bothering to look in her direction. Anyone just coming into the picture wouldn't know he'd seen her a few moments before and was only asking out of concern. "Ask me later and I'll show you a way to prevent the soreness next time." He told her as he leaned back and closed his eyes, as if to take a quick nap. Sarah clenched her fists and felt Gawain's hand on hers, so she looked up at him as he said, "He's teasing. There is no way to avoid being sore if you're not used to riding. You just have to make the best of it until you become accustomed." He ended his words with a squeeze to her hand and rounded on his fellow knight, "Come on, Lancelot, don't you think it's time to let it go considering she's not used to riding at all, much less at the pace we usually go?"
Lancelot opened one eye and looked at Gawain. Finally, he sat up and said, "If you insist. But I personally think she should just get used to it. It's part of our missions and this time it's just her turn." The look of innocence was lost when you saw the sparkle in his eyes. Just as Sarah was about to tell them she would take whatever he dished out, Bors spoke up. "That's true, Lassie, but Lancelot couldn't you find something else to tease her about? I agree with Gawain, you're being unfair." He hesitated, then finished with a wink in Sarah's direction, "Unless that's all you can find about her that's worthy of teasing. Hasn't she done something else wrong that you can pick on?"
Lancelot lay there for a moment before answering, "I can't think of anything off the top of my head, but I'm sure something will come up later." He paused and then gave Gawain the one-eyed look again, "but I guess that would be Gawain's problem, though." Despite the stricken look on her face, she heard Bors give a hearty laugh. As he laughed he was trying to apologize to her and they all stopped when Arthur spoke. "Lancelot that's enough! I apologize Sarah, sometimes he just lets his mouth run for no reason at all." She looked from Gawain's scowling face to Arthur's pleading look and sighed, "No apology needed. I guess he's right, I am going to have to get used to this." After she saw Arthur nod and saw the look of admiration from Lancelot at how she had let the whole matter drop, she gingerly sat down next to Gawain and relaxed into his smiling embrace.
She looked up into his eyes and heard him whisper as he kissed her on the cheek, "Very good. He won't stop his teasing, but he will be a little more reluctant to embarrass you so much." She looked at Lancelot and gave him a quick wink to let him know she really didn't take offense to his remarks and saw the wink he gave her back. No one else said anything and she wasn't sure if anyone else had seen the exchange. But when she looked toward Tristan, she saw that he was looking at her with his head cocked to one side, trying to figure out if she really felt that way or was just trying to fit in with the group. She decided that he would just have to keep trying to figure her out. She hadn't exactly given them the best impression in the first place and now she was kind of enjoying their reactions to who she really was, even if they didn't know this 'her' was real.
After the short break they rode until night fell. Although Arthur still kept a hearty pace, Sarah could tell he was holding them back and the only reason had to be her. She had to be more self-sufficient or she would cause them problems. What if they were attacked by more of the blue painted people? She would be useless in a battle with any enemy. Would her inability to fight cause one of these brave men to be injured as Gawain had been? Would it possibly cause someone's death? She blinked quickly several times to wipe the scenes that flashed before her eyes from her vision. She would ask Gawain to teach her some things that would at least keep her from being a hindrance. She might not be helpful, but she would not be a liability.
They stopped for the night in a small clearing in the forest Arthur had led them into just before dusk. Tristan left to scout the area as the rest began to prepare for their night. Sarah had never set up a tent and had no idea where to start so she left the men to take care of the sleeping arrangements and went to help Dagonet start a small fire. A heavy fog had settled around the countryside giving the forest an eerie kind of ghostly appearance which unnerved her, causing her to look over her shoulder repeatedly as if expecting someone to jump from the shadows at any moment. She had become engrossed in keeping the small fire burning until the kindling caught a larger piece of wood making it self-sufficient when Gawain touched her shoulder. Jumping, she gave off a little squeal.
"I'm sorry," she said sheepishly when she realized who it was touching her. "This forest makes me jittery. I feel like eyes are watching my every move from the trees." He saw her shudder as she looked around the campsite, trying to see beyond the circle of light the small fire gave off. "Don't worry, we'll have guards posted all night and no one will get close enough to harm you without someone giving a warning. My watch won't be until early morning so I will be with you until then." He pulled her into his arms and held her until he felt the shivering lessen.
Sarah pulled back enough to look up at the man comforting her, "I feel like such a child. I came south on my own and I don't remember ever being this frightened. I guess my time inside the safety of the walls at the fort has made me weaker than I'd like to admit." He watched as her eyes glittered with tears in the flickering light. He suddenly wanted to lay her down and kiss her until the fear in her eyes was replaced with desire. As their eyes were locked, he saw her desire begin to spark. Just then, Bors gave a little cough, and their attention was drawn away from each other as they turned toward the other knight. Sarah blushed at what she had wanted to happen, realizing the others had been only feet from them as they made love with their eyes. She knew Bors had only coughed to break that connection before they did something that would embarrass both of them, or at least it would have embarrassed her.
She pulled out of his embrace and sat down on a log that Dagonet had pulled close to the fire. After a minute Gawain joined her, putting his arm around her shoulders. She looked up and saw his promise of 'later' and quickly averted her eyes. She saw the three tents set within feet of each other and knew she would never be able to forget the close proximity of the others long enough to enjoy any attentions he tried to bestow. How was she going to explain to him how embarrassed she would be to know others could be listening to their lovemaking so that he would understand? She knew he would suffer no such embarrassment and might not understand her feelings. As the others joined them around the fire, she decided he would just have to accept it and turned her attention to Bors as he talked about Vanora and his children.
Sarah raised her head as she felt herself being lifted and carried somewhere. She saw Gawain through sleepy eyes and nestled her head into his shoulder and closed them once again. She was so tired and in his arms she felt safe. She was asleep again by the time he leaned down and placed her in one of the tents. He heard her moan of protest when he pulled his arms from under her and smiled as he lay beside her and pulled her close to lay on his shoulder. He wanted to love her again, but she looked so peaceful in sleep he couldn't disturb her. He gently kissed her forehead and closed his eyes, hoping sleep would claim him soon. The ache in his loins began to subside as he slowly drifted off thinking about the woman he held in his arms and in his heart.
The sound of a horse snorting woke him from a disturbing dream. He glanced out of the tent flap and saw Tristan sit by the fire to talk to Arthur, who had taken first watch. When neither man moved to rouse the others, Gawain relaxed and thought back to the dream. In it, Sarah had been telling him how sorry she was, but she had been mistaken, she didn't love him. She loved Derek and would stay with him instead of returning to the fortress. He swallowed and pulled her a little closer, feeling her snuggle deeper into the blanket he had thrown over her earlier. The rest of the night until it came time for him to get up was spent reflecting on how upset he had been in the dream. How devastated her words had made him feel. Would he really feel that way if his dream became reality? He realized he would and the thought disturbed him. He had never felt this way about any of the women he'd bedded before. Why was it different with her?
He knew he loved her. But he hadn't known just how deeply until now. Their time together had been short and it surprised him that it had grown into something so powerful so soon. Sighing as he left the tent, he decided he's just have to do what he could to ensure that her feelings ran just as deeply before they reached her village. As much as he wanted her to be with him, he couldn't bring himself to wish ill toward the other man. He hoped the man had survived, 'and found another woman to love.' He silently thought to himself. But he doubted any man would get over losing Sarah after only a few months. At least not enough to replace her with another.
When Gawain walked to the fire he saw that Lancelot had replaced Arthur on watch. He guessed that Arthur had gone to get some rest as soon as Tristan returned with news of any threats surrounding them. "So, did Tristan find anything of importance close by?" Lancelot watched him settle himself across the fire from him before answering. "Nothing. No Woads, or Saxons unless he missed something. Which I highly doubt." He saw the nod of understanding from the other knight before asking, "How is Sarah, she must have been exhausted to fall asleep so quickly tonight."
Gawain nodded, "Yeah, she barely moved when I took her to the tent." He hesitated a moment, "Lancelot, what if that other man is still alive somehow? Do you think she will go to him or stay with me?" Lancelot saw the turmoil in his eyes even in the darkness of night. "I don't know, Brother. Women are so hard to read sometimes. I think she loves you, but I think we may have been a little too forceful with our arguments that the Saxons never leave survivors. I think she now believes him dead thus releasing her from her vow. But I will tell you that whatever her decision, I think she will think long before making it. I just hope for your sake that she lets her heart rule instead of her duty." Gawain thought for a moment, "What do you mean by 'duty'?" he asked his friend.
"She once said that she had planned to marry this man since she was a small child. Maybe she would see being with you as breaking her word. Maybe she would feel obligated to stay with him even though her heart told her it would be the wrong thing to do." He shook his head, as he continued, "How do you think he will react to the news that she has lain with another man?" Gawain looked up quickly, "If it were me, I don't think I would care as long as she was alive. Do you think he will punish her for her infidelity? Would he make her stay with him to soothe his pride?" He asked the questions as though the thought had just occurred to him.
Lancelot waited before trying to answer them. He knew how he would feel, how he would react, but, he could only guess at the reactions of another. Especially one he knew nothing about. "I don't know. Who can know the heart of another? We'll just have to wait and see." Their conversation died and Lancelot slowly got up and walked around the fire. He placed his hand on Gawain's shoulder, "I'm going to try to get some sleep before Arthur calls for us to move out. Try not to worry overmuch. It won't change the outcome and could cause you to do something that would hurt your cause." Giving one final squeeze to the other man's shoulder, he went in search of his bedroll wondering how one woman could affect such a ladies' man in such a short amount of time.