Your reviews rock! Thankfully, I can check my email from work (and I do regularly!) so I get to read them before they hit the fanfiction site! I'm not going to give any hints about what happens at the village... you can try asking Tracy137, she gave me the best idea (which I'm running with before she changes her mind!). Hope you enjoy this chapter... I try to give a little of Sarah's history to the knights so they will better understand her.
Same disclaimer still applies! Sigh...
The next day Arthur kept the pace slower than he had the day before. Gawain told Sarah it was because they were now in the forest and that Woads were especially adept at hiding themselves since the forest was their natural habitat. If they moved too swiftly, they could miss them allowing them to surround the small group as they traveled. His words made her look around the darkened woods more carefully, seeing movement when there was nothing there. "How far does this forest go? I remember traveling through woods when I traveled south, but I don't know if I just went through the outskirts because I don't seem to remember it being this dense."
Gawain heard the hint of fear in her voice and moved a little closer as their horses walked almost casually through the trees. "There will be clearings as we travel through, but I'm afraid this part of the island is mostly forest." He placed his hand on hers as they gripped the reins tightly. "Don't be afraid. We won't let anything happen to you." She looked up into his face, "I know. I'm just afraid of what will happen to you or one of the others trying to keep me safe." He saw the sadness reflected in her eyes but she spoke again before he could think of anything to say. "If we are attacked, promise me you will fight without trying to keep an eye on me. I will try to stay out of the way, but don't put yourself in danger because you want to save me. I couldn't bear to be the cause of your injury or especially your death." He saw the pleading in her face and wanted to reassure her. "I will do what I must, but don't think I could ever forget you were near. I would not be able to live with the knowledge that I did nothing to save you from harm."
Their moment was interrupted as Lancelot rode up, "The same goes for the rest of us. It is what we do, so don't worry about us." His flippant tone brought Sarah out of her melancholy mood. "You speak as if I would be concerned about your welfare. That ego of yours will be your downfall, Lancelot." She saw him flash his signature grin toward her, "That's right, keep saying that in front of your lover. We wouldn't want him to suspect anything, now would we?" He flirted and Sarah stole a glance toward Gawain. He seemed to accept Lancelot's flirting as teasing and she smiled. They had known one another too long to be jealous. This thought comforted her somehow. She didn't have to worry that any interaction between her and one of the other knights would cause trouble between them.
This thought brought back a memory that she didn't realize she had buried in her mind. She thought back to the day that she had been sitting on the bank of the small river that flowed by her village when one of the other young men had plopped down next to her. They had engaged in some idle conversation when Derek came stomping up demanding to know what the young man was doing trying to seduce his wife-to-be. Nothing she had said calmed his temper and the other man had suffered a bloody nose during the fight that had ensued. So lost in her memories of things that she had not questioned about his personality, she didn't realize that Arthur had ridden up beside Lancelot until he called her name. "What? I'm sorry, I didn't hear your question." She saw the look that passed between Gawain and Lancelot and wondered what it meant. But she had to listen to Arthur repeat his previous question and didn't have time to think about the look at that moment.
"Sarah, I asked if you recognized this part of the country." Arthur told her and she glanced around once more before replying. "No, I'm sorry. I don't remember the woods being this thick with foliage when I entered on my way south. We could well be kilometers from my village or just passing it by and I wouldn't know it." She slowly shook her head, "I'm afraid I'm not going to be of much help, am I?" Arthur immediately spoke up, "That's not true, Sarah. We just have to find the part of the forest you do recognize or wait until we get closer to the coastline. I'm sure you'll recognize something soon enough. Do you remember any well known villages that were near yours. Say, a ride of less than a day away?" He thought it might help if they knew which general direction to take.
"I don't remember any mention of it if there is. All I remember is talk of the ocean to the east, but it was said it was a few days journey and I never traveled that far away from home. My father once said that we lived in Britannia only barely," Arthur saw her smile for a moment, "He said if we had not moved north when the Romans invaded we would be considered Romans instead of Britons. But since the Wildmen were between us and the Roman Empire we would be safe." Her smile faded and she finished, "He didn't know how wrong he was." Arthur had a general idea of where to look for her village and wanted to take her mind off the thoughts she was now having. "If you get tired before we stop for our mid-day break, just tell Gawain. Tristan says the way is clear for several kilometers so we can stop when we desire." Having said that and waiting for her to acknowledge what he said, he quickly moved back to the head of the line. Arthur was not just a leader in name.
They traveled for a while longer before Arthur called for them to stop. "We will camp here for the remainder of the day and night. If I calculated it correctly we should be getting close to the edge of this forest and I'd rather not reach it with only a little light left. We will get an early start tomorrow and should reach the end by midday. Tristan…" Sarah saw Tristan head north without waiting to be told. She wondered if the man ever got a chance to rest like the others.
Again, Gawain helped her dismount and took her horse to Jols to unsaddle and brush. Coming back toward her, he watched as she looked around the small clearing. She piqued his curiosity when she suddenly headed toward the trees to the west of the campsite. Once she got near the line of trees, she stopped and looked around again. He thought she recognized the way everything looked and made his way toward her new position. "Sarah, do you see something you've seen before?" He asked her as he came to stand beside her. She only nodded absentmindedly and headed toward one tree in particular. Once she reached it, she bent down and slowly started pulling the leaves and brush away from the roots that were exposed on top of the ground.
She gave a delighted yelp and quickly stood up, holding a small bag covered in dirt and debris. She opened the drawstring and pulled something out. Gawain saw it was a leather cord with something metal attached. When she turned toward him, she exclaimed. "I slept here on my way to the fort. I awoke one morning and heard the sounds of people heading this way. In my eagerness to get away before whoever it was found me, I left this. When I realized it was missing, I had traveled at least a day to the south and thought I'd never see it again." Gawain saw the happiness on her face at retrieving her belonging. "What is it?" he whispered, trying not to disturb her elated mood.
She held it up by the leather and he saw it was an intricately carved piece of silver. It reminded him of a small rope that had been woven and tied together hiding the beginning and the end of the rope. He wondered if it was some kind of puzzle. "My mother gave this to me when I was but a young lass. She wore it when she married my father and I was to wear it when I married…" She let her words trail off when she realized she was about to speak of Derek to the man she now loved. Gawain saw her hesitation at mentioning her former love and prompted her to continue. "When you were to marry Derek." He finished her statement for her. "Yes. But a lot has happened since then and I will wear it when I marry, whoever that man might be, I don't think it will Derek." Then her voice going softer, "Even if he lives." She finished her statement. Gawain almost let the remark go, not wanting to seem to push her into anything, then he decided it didn't matter if she felt coerced. "You will wear it when you marry me." He said the words with an emphasis on the final syllable.
Sarah heard Gawain and looked up into his eyes. She saw the love she had hoped was there and gave him a smile as she stepped into his arms. "Yes, when I marry you, I will wear my mother's necklace. It is the sign of 'union' symbolizing two people who have overcome all obstacles to be together. My father wore its twin around his neck, never taking it off." Gawain held her close, reveling in the feel of her warm body against his. He now felt better about what they would find when they found her village, whatever might be left of it. "I'll tell Arthur that we are at least headed in the right direction." He leaned over and kissed her gently, "I'll be right back," he told her as he turned to leave.
Sarah watched him walk away, then turned her attention to the silver symbol in her hand. She wished she had the other one to give to Gawain on their wedding day. This thought made her think of the man who had raised her to be strong and independent. He had tried so hard to make sure she knew that love was something to be cherished and nurtured. He had told her many times as they walked through the village that without love there wasn't much reason to do the things necessary to live. She felt the tears prickle her eyelids as she silently hoped if her parents had not both survived the attack, that at least they would have perished together. For if one of them had survived she was sure it wouldn't have been for very long. She gently wrapped the cord around the pendant and placed it back in the bag, tying the strings to hold it safely inside. She then tied the strings around her belt and tucked it into her pants. She would be sure to keep it safe this time for she was surely supposed to have it to have found it after so long.
When Gawain returned, he found Sarah gathering wood for the fire. She seemed pleased when he told her that Arthur was glad to hear the news that they were getting closer to their destination. The rest of the evening was spent in easy banter between the men as they ate and rested for the rest of the journey. Sarah had listened intently when the knights had spoken of the fact that they had not seen any signs of the Saxons. But Arthur had been swift to point out that they had not happened upon any villages either and until they did, and saw whether it had been attacked, they would assume the Saxons were still somewhere in the vicinity or at the very least, somewhere on the isle.
Tristan returned before darkness fell and joined the others as they sat around a campfire, talking as the food slowly roasted over the dancing flames. He told Arthur that he hadn't seen any sign of trouble and Galahad began to grumble about being away from the fort for no good reason. He seemed to have forgotten that part of the reason was to visit Sarah's village to determine what had happened to her people, only remembering when Bors nudged him in the ribs as he motioned in her direction with his head. He looked toward her and found her staring into the fire, only glancing up at him when he began trying to cover up his blunder. "Well, she's happy now with Gawain so I don't see why she needs to go back to see if that other man's alive or not." He finally spouted with indignation.
Sarah stared at him for a moment, then stood up, "Yes, Galahad, I am happy with Gawain. But if you had seen the smoke rise from your village, you would want to go back and see if your family had died." Then she looked around at the rest of them before continuing, "that's the only reason I want to go back." Then she sighed and sat back down, "I know I said loud and long that I wanted to return to my betrothed. But, now I see that he wasn't who I thought he was. I was only in love with, I don't know, being in love, I suppose." Her voice became quieter as she spoke and since she returned her gaze to the flames she didn't see the happy look on Gawain's face. Tristan spoke up, "How can you be in love with love? I've never heard of that before."
Sarah looked across the fire to where Tristan was sitting with his back against a tree. She wanted them to understand, just in case Derek was still alive. She didn't want them to think she was so fickle that she would change her feelings as soon as someone else gave an inkling they were interested. She wanted Gawain to know that her love would not go away. Finally, she spoke softly, "I became infatuated with Derek when I was still very young. He was a hard young man to ignore, even if I'd wanted to. Always, you would find him doing things that I considered brave back then, things like stopping the bullies from picking on other smaller boys. He was just larger than life to a naïve girl with fantasies of what the world was like outside my small sheltered life." She took a moment to pick up her cup of wine, she found this line of conversation made her mouth go dry. She was so afraid these men would not understand the heart of a young woman and think she was just a silly romantic. Finally, deciding they would think what they wanted no matter how much she agonized over things, she began telling them about her life.
"My father had always told me about the things he had seen in his life. He hadn't always lived where I grew up. He had settled there when he fell in love with my mother. He never told me where he came from, only that it was not Britain. I never wondered about his homeland, just listened to the stories of his travels and wanted to see some of the things he told me about. I guess Derek saw this and felt he had to impress me. I don't know what his motivations were for being the 'protector of the innocent' as he called himself, but looking back, I see that he really didn't protect anyone. He usually started the trouble, only taking credit for ending it just before it got out of hand. Maybe that was why my father kept pushing me to wait before deciding who I wanted to marry and settle down with. I just don't know, but for some reason he was reluctant to give his blessing until I begged and pouted to get my way." None of the knights tried to interrupt her as she talked. They actually seemed to be interested in what she had to say.
Gawain listened intently to her words. He was surprised and more than pleased that she didn't sound like she would miss the other man. He wanted to ask her but was afraid if he interrupted, she would decide not to tell them any more. So, like the others, he just sat there and listened as she spoke. "I remember once that Derek became upset that another boy in the village seemed to be interested in me, always trying to talk to me when he could catch me alone. Which wasn't often, thanks to my brother and Derek. Timothy thought I was too headstrong and would get into some kind of mischief if left alone and Derek just wanted to know where I was and what I was doing all the time." She finally looked up from the fire and saw that Gawain was looking at her, she told him, "Derek almost broke that boys arm once when he caught us talking beside the river. I should have seen then that he wanted to control me, but instead I believed him when he said he thought he was protecting me from unwanted attention. I should have seen a lot of things then, but it took Gawain to make me realize that a man doesn't have to smother you to love you. He just has to trust you."
Gawain smiled at her and winked, bringing a smile to her lips as well. She finally finished her story, "So, my going back to my village has nothing to do with Derek or whether I am happy with Gawain. I want to see my mother and father and tell him that he was right. I should have waited before deciding who I wanted to marry. I think he would be pleased with my choice, if I could tell him." Then with sadness she whispered, "I hope I can tell him." Gawain reached out and took her in his arms, holding her to his chest as he brushed her hair away from her face. "You will tell him if he survived the attack. If he didn't, he already knows your heart." He felt her relax a little and looked to Lancelot to change the subject to a happier one. Being the self-proclaimed clown of the group, Lancelot was only too happy to oblige.
"So, Bors, when are you going to marry Vanora and give all those bastards of yours names?" he shot at his friend. Bors being a little slower on the uptake, just went along because he thought Lancelot really wanted to know. "If she has her way, I won't have a choice. She's been talking about nothing else lately and I'm running out of excuses. Unless I get killed between now and then, it'll be as soon as I have my discharge papers." He sounded wistful at his lost bachelorhood and even Sarah had to smile. The others laughed out loud, save Tristan who was looking into the fire with a melancholy look on his face. Sarah made a mental note to ask him what had put him into such a sad mood, but she knew he would only feel the need to get away from everyone if she brought it up in front of the others.