FFVII: Don't worry about it
The northern cave
Tifa dropped the tentacle she was holding.
"Cloud? Why are we killing these things and taking them to the Highwind?"
"Because, bitch! We're gonna sell them."
"Who would want to buy this?" Tifa kicked the dead squid.
"Shinra."
"Why?"
"I don't fucking know, ok? They're just weird like that. Keeping a bunch of ugly ass animals all the time." Cloud trailed off after he noticed Red XIII glaring at him.
Now Barret chimed in, "There's no way in hell I'm gonna do business with those motherfuckers."
"You're going to! And you're going to make an assload of money from it!"
"They're killing the planet, Cloud!"
"Yeah, and it takes a lot of money to do that. Now shut up and start dragging."
"Fuck this! We just killed it and it already smells like my ass after my morning shit." Cid notified them. Tifa merely said ew.
"Listen, there's nobody else we can sell to, ok Barret?" Cloud suggested.
"Then just don't sell it! Fuck!" Barret screamed and took aim at the squid, intending to blow it to smithereens.
"NO! MY MONEY!" Cloud slapped Barret's gun, making him narrowly miss the squid...and literally explode the mog that Cait Sith rides on. Yuffie ran over to the slain mog, screaming bloody murder.
"I HAVE NOTHING TO HOLD ONTO NOW WHILE I SLEEP!" She wailed. Cid looked at her uncomfortably for a moment before offering to let her sleep with his lance.
"Why the fuck would I sleep with a lance?"
"Nevermind...I just thought that if...nevermind."
"Oh my god. Oh, my god. You sleep with that thing?" Yuffie asked, horrified that someone would sleep with an object used to impale living things.
"You can sleep with me, if you want." Red offered.
"No! God dammit!"
"Told ya they were ugly." Cloud muttered under his breath.
"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?" Red screamed, his tail-flame suddenly becoming four times bigger than usual.
"Jesus man you were the only pretty one now calm the hell down!" Cloud insisted to his kitty tiger thing friend, whose tail went back to normal.
"Hey...where's Cait Sith?" Cloud changed the subject.
"Shit! Cait! Cait!" Barret looked around.
"Where could he have gone?" Vincent asked. They sat for a moment then all turned to look at the gigantic hole that was the abyss leading to the Planet's core.
"No. Way." Tifa said.
"CAIT!" Red ran to the edge of the ledge.
"Cloud, you faggot!" Barret roared.
"Hey! I'm not the one that blasted him off his mog, ok?"
"I did because you fucking pushed me!"
"I did not! I just re-directed your aim away from my money."
"You mean your stinky ass animal corpse?" Cid asked.
"Stay out of this, Rocket Man."
"Fuck! You!"
"You wanna fight!" Cloud marched up to Cid.
"I'll kick your ass!" He said and swung his lance for effect. Yuffie got hit straight in the back and fell over the edge.
"Now look what you did!" Cloud blamed Cid, who stood there incredulously.
"I...am gonna...FUCK! YOU! UP!" Barret punched Cloud in the gut and lifted him up over his head.
"NO!" Tifa kicked the big man in the balls, making him drop Cloud, who landed mere inches away from the ledge. Barret writhed there for a while as Cloud coughed and hacked, not even trying to stand. The leader of AVALANCHE reached into his pocket and brought something out.
"What are you doing?" Cloud asked. Barret had a grenade, and he just pulled the pin.
"No! Dude! Please!" Cloud was the only one who knew what was about to happen. Barret smiled a huge, evil smile and tossed the grenade backwards.
Thump thump. thump thump. thump thump. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooo" BLAM
Everyone standing up was covered in squid guts. Cloud screamed like he was in pain. Tifa ran over to him, thinking he was hurt.
"Where does it hurt?" She asked him urgently.
"My...my wallet. My fucking money."
"'s what you get...sucka..." Barret laughed to himself. Cloud grievously got to his feet and staggered to the unidentifiable remains of the creature that surely would have made him at least 1 million gil. Tragic opera music began to play.
"All...all I wanted to do...was kill you," he dropped to his knees, "and...and sell you...sell you for lots of fucking money." Cloud burst into tears and fell to his hands and knees as if the gravity had gotten stronger. After crying a good half minute he righted himself on his knees again and threw back his head.
"WHY?" Cloud asked the sky. Of course there was no answer. Sometimes tragedies just occurred. Barret had been lying on his back with his eyes closed peacefully while Cloud had gone on his whole deal, but now his eyes snapped open, clearly alarmed.
"Shit! The Highwind!" He yelled and jumped to his feet. The AVALANCHE leader took off, obviously needing to do something on the Highwind.
"What? Wait...oh no you fucking don't!" Cloud dashed off after him.
"Where are they going?" Tifa asked.
"I think Barret's gonna try to destroy the other 'specimen' we've got on the Highwind." Vincent replied calmly.