Disclaimer:As always, I don't own Quatre or any of the other gundam pilots mentioned in this story. But Kacey and River are my own characters.

And now that that'a taken care of, read and enjoy.

That night as Kacey slept, Quatre sat awake besides her, stairing at the celing.

After the war, he changed from being a gundam pilot, to a jet pilot in the navy of the united earth's sphere alliance. He enjoyed his job, as well as his new life. He had a wife, a daughter, and the other gundam pilots were like his brothers. Even Quatre's daughter called them each uncle. But unfortunatly he still had several troubles of his own.

He turned at looked at Kacey. His beautiful wife for nearly twenty years. But somehow, she could always fall into a deep peaceful sleep, her bright, curly red hair flowing over her pillow. And when she woke up, her bright green eyes would show that she was full of energy, ready for whatever the day may bring.

For some strange reason he couldn't sleep though somthing kept bothering him.

But just as he closed his eyes, he was suprised when he felt a tiny hand touch his arm. He turned and saw his black haired brown eyed watching him sadly.

River had come from vietnam when she was two. Kacey had wanted a daughter so they adopted River. River had become her daddy's baby girl.

"What's wrong River?" Quatre asked kindly.

"I can't sleep daddy." she wispered.

"Why not?"

"I had a bad dream."

Quatre sat up then reached over and picked River up, pulling her into his lap.

"So you had a bad dream huh?"

River nodded and curled up against his chest.

"Then what do you want to do?"

"Can I cuddle with you tonight daddy?" she wispered.

"I guess." he said seeing how insecure she was feeling. He set her down inbetween him and Kacey then he lied down beside her.

River curled up close to him and put her hand over his heart

Quatre gently wraped his arms around her and pulled her close. He was suprised when he felt comforted by the warmth of her body,radiating through his chest.

"Daddy?" asked River quietly.

"Yes River?"

"What was it like being a soldier?"

"What?"

"What was it like? Being a soldier?"

"I'm a sailor River. Not an infantry man. Not a soldier. You know that."

"But you were a soldier daddy. When you were younger."

He stoped breathing and stiffened suddenly. He looked her in the eye sharply.

"River. How do you know about that?" he asked sternly.

"I just do."he shrugged.

"River. Tell me."

"I just know daddy." she said. She put a hand on his arm. "What happened to you daddy?"

"Just forget about it." he snaped suddenly. "We're not talking about it!"

River jumped a bit and moved her hand. She put it on his heart again.

But she was suprised when he took her hand and moved it.

"We're not talking about it. Now go to sleep and not another word about it. Go it? Or else you're going back to your own room."

River nodded, she felt terrified at her father's harsh voice and sudden out burst. So she turned over and curled up against Kacey who was still asleep. She soon fell asleep against her mother but she was still troubled by her father.

Quatre on the other hand begain to feel terrible. He knew he had no reason to snap at River like he did. But the after colony war was still a horribly touchy subject with him.

He rolled over and put a hand on his right side where Dorthy Catalonia had nce stabed him. He would of bled to death if Trowa hadden't saved him in time.

Suddenly though, his side begain to burn horribly. It was as if he had just been cut again. HE gasped and clutched his side as he tried to ease the pain.

But all the while, he was worried about what he had done to River. But how River knew about the war... he couldn't figure it out. But he felt curious, he had been a soldier. A toy soldier, he convinced himself. A soldier to be manipulated and played with. To do the bidding of the people who considered the war a game. A soldier's life was just a toy, that could be broken and thrown away.

"Step by step, heart to heart, left right left, we all fall down, like toy soldiers. Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win, but the battle rages on, for toy soldiers." he sang softly. He turned and looked at River.

He felt horrible about yelling at her. It wasn't right.

He gently touched her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.

Then Quatre picked up his pillow and walked out of the room. On his way downstairs, he stoped infront of the linen closet and pulled out a blanket. Then he went to sleep out on the couch.

Well... that's chapter one. And yes that little bit comes from Eminem's 'like toy soldiers' the only song I don't mind. I fellt it fit perfectly. But either way, I hope you enjoy the story. Tell me what you think. )