Chapter Three: Kill Mog, Volume Part
"Son of a BITCH!" Cloud screamed. He'd been sharpening his sword with a bar of soap and gone into a deep fury. This caused him to stop paying attention and therefore nick (cut off) his fingertip. After sewing it back on with some super glue and a few strands of his hair he went back to sharpening his blade, this time with his boot. This would later result in cutting off one of his toes as well. Eventually he decided to try and sharpen the sword on the hooker's neck.
He realized then what decapitation was.
The Mog had built a large castle on the bleak plains surrounding Midgar. It appeared as though some people envied his recent gain in power. Mr. T and Arnold Schwarzenegger, for example. The Mog had had them...taken care of. But now, more powerful opponents were emerging. At the moment, Cait Sith was marching back and forth in front of the gates to the castle, screaming into his megaphone.
"Mog is gay! Mog is gay! Mog is gay! Mog is gay!" Cait relented. The cat would not shut the fuck up. The Mog decided to grace the cat with his presence. Once the big tubby bastard lumbered his way onto the gatehouse he merely glared at Cait to get his attention.
"Is that so, Mog?" Cait asked in reply. The Mog merely nodded his head and smiled.
"Well, two can play at that game!" The cat screamed. Then it took a big nasty shit right on the deadened earth in front of the gate. The Mog was furious, though his eternal smile would never allow him to show it. The Mog was fucking furious.
"Oh my...Oh my God. The Mog...please...please, I-I-I didn't mean it." Cait stammered. The Mog grinned ferociously, obviously not pleased.
"I'll...I'll clean it up! I promise!" Cait whined, then looked around, seemingly trying to find something with which to scoop up the shit. Once more, The Mog displayed his unrelenting fury through his usual smile.
"Mog...uh...Could I...?...Could I come in and get something to clean up this shit with?" Cait asked. For a moment, The Mog began to shake his head. Though nobody would really be able to tell, a realization dawned on him, forcing him to keep fucking grinning. The Mog nodded.
Cait Sith approached the gate, unaware that his life would soon end. As soon as he got to the gate he looked uncertainly at The Mog, managed a nervous smile, then stared at the ground for a moment. Nobody was opening the gate; The Mog hadn't given the word. So Cait finally knocked on the gate. But still, it would not open.
With absolutely no warning at all, The Mog grabbed a pot of boiling oil from nowhere and dumped it over the castle battlements! Cait screamed in agony as he burned to death in buttery goodness. Satisfaction could easily be seen on the beaming face of... The Mog.
Cloud was sitting in the chocobo-race lobby with Barret and Vincent; Red XIII and Cid were on their way. He threw down a newspaper article in front of them.
OLD WOMAN SPILLS COFFEE ON SELF, FUCKING SUES MCDONALD'S
"Can you fucking believe that?" Cloud asked incredulously.
"That can't be all that you wanted." Vincent said back, equally astounded.
"Yeah, I also wanted to tell you guys something."
"What?"
"Cait Sith is dead."
"Shit!...What happened?" Barret asked.
"He was killed." Cloud hung his head and pretended to care.
"Who did it?" Vincent asked.
"It was The Mog." After informing of this an uneasy quiet settled over them. It had been almost a year since they'd killed Sephiroth, and except for Cloud's bar incident in the last chapter they hadn't been really fighting at all. Could they really attack somewhere that fortified? They all doubted it.
"Well, well. It's been a while hasn't it?" Cid asked.
"Glad you could make it." Said Barret, completely lacking in the enthusiasm department.
"Listen man, don't be a dick!" Cloud screamed irritably.
"What are you guys yelling about already?" Red XIII said.
"These assholes don't care about Cait's death!"
"Bull shit!" Barret screamed.
"Oh yeah? Then what are ya gonna do about it?" Cloud's bluff was working.
"We're gonna kill that mothafucka! Come on!" He waved them on.
Cloud grinned and thought about all the god damn money they'd get from The Mog after it was dead.
As the group left the Golden Saucer, The Mog prepared itself for their coming. It was currently working itself into a frenzy, listening to a constant static on 0.0 The Fuzz. His guards had been warned about the invasion that was soon at hand, and they had prepared themselves accordingly. Whether or not it would be enough was actually unknown to The Mog; but no worry appeared on the face of The Mog. He only grinned.
A/N: So yes, this story has gained structure, believe it or not. Chapter One has nothing to do with two and three. Chapter Four will complete The Mog Saga. From there, who knows where it'll go? Not me. Wait. I mean...not you. You don't fucking know, ok?