Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. (Sigh)
Sarah had begun to calm down by the time she walked into the room she shared with her husband. She closed the door with a sigh and slowly stepped over to the bed and sat down dejectedly. Why did Derek still have any control over her and her life? It was bad enough that she had been so blind before, not seeing what kind of man he truly was, but now that she knew what he had done, all she wished was to forget he ever existed and never have to deal with him again. Why did Gawain let any thoughts of the man completely change his normally calm demeanor? These thoughts were buzzing around so fast in her head that she began to feel dizzy from trying to make sense of them. In frustration, she stood up and began to tidy the already tidy room.
After several minutes of picking something up only to put it right back down where it belonged, she stopped and looked around. A nagging thought had been just out of reach and she knew it would help solve the problem of how to deal with the threat of Derek showing up, but she couldn't grasp it in the jumble of her thoughts. Maybe a bath would soothe her enough so that she could figure out what it was. She quickly gathered her robe, towel and soaps and headed for the bath house. If nothing else, maybe a long soak would help her to go to sleep before Gawain came home later. She was tired of arguing with him about something neither of them had any control over. Derek would do whatever he wished and she was not going to try to second guess a madman. Just as she was not going to let him dictate her life from afar.
The bath house was deserted when she arrived a few moments later, so she took her time getting undressed and settling herself in the almost too hot water. She immediately began scrubbing with the square piece of material she used to bathe, causing her normally pale complexion to turn red from the roughness of her treatment. She stopped after a moment to stare at the spot that was now stinging. She had been so occupied with her thoughts that she hadn't realized just how hard she had been rubbing and saw that the skin had little red raised patches that would bleed if she kept up. "Damn it, this is getting out of hand." She flung the cloth into the water and dunked her head, trying to clear her thoughts. She raised her head from the water a few moments later, calmer and more resolved. She would go back to the tavern and talk to Gawain. All she needed to do was learn how to defend herself and he could stop worrying about her every moment she was out of his sight. She hated bloodshed, but in reality, she did need to know how to fight in case it became necessary. Just because she knew how, didn't mean she would ever have to do it.
She quickly got out of the water and wrapped her robe around her still wet body. Gathering her toiletries, she headed back to her room to dress. Surely Gawain would see that she was right and agree to help her. But, if he didn't, she would find someone who would. She went through the list of knights in her head, mentally dismissing some as unlikely to help if Gawain disagreed. Galahad, for one would do nothing to go against what Gawain wanted. Tristan was unlikely as well, since he would not wish to be involved in their quarrel should Gawain find out. Bors didn't have time to teach her with all his children running about. Besides, she didn't think she could fight using his style of brute force. Dagonet might help, but she would have to play on his sense of fairness which might put him in a bad spot with keeping secrets from her husband. That left Lancelot. Yes, he would do it and think it quite a nice game keeping it a secret from Gawain. But she would have to make him understand that just because she wished to learn how to fight without her husband knowing, didn't mean she would be willing to do anything else behind his back. Although, she really thought that most of his talk was just that… talk. It was highly unlikely that he would ever try to woo one of his brother's wives, but with men you never knew. Having made up her mind, she quickened her pace and made it back to her room. She felt better now that she had a plan.
She stepped into the tavern and looked toward the table where Gawain and the others were sitting. When she saw Gawain sitting there solemnly with his head over a mug of ale, she felt a pang of guilt, knowing she was the cause of his sadness. Here was a man who usually kept everyone else laughing and talking, sitting dejectedly over his drink while the others were deep into their revelry. All because she refused to listen to his fears concerning the woman he loved. She momentarily forgot her anger from before and her recent plan as she made her way to his side. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't know she was there until she wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind.
"I'm sorry." Was all she said as he looked around over his shoulder. He immediately pulled her into his lap and held her close. "As am I." He whispered into her hair. They sat quietly for a moment, just enjoying the closeness, then she raised her head from his chest and took his head between her hands. "I know that you feel you are doing what is best and I appreciate that you care enough to want to keep me safe. But, in reality, no one can keep me safe but myself." She waited for him to think about what she had said, then continued, "I wish to learn how to use a sword or knife, so that I may protect myself when you are not with me. I don't want to have to rely on someone else to do what I should do for myself. Will you teach me?"
She saw him take a deep breath, then he pulled his arms from around her waist and pulled her hands from his face. He enclosed her smaller hands in his, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles, never taking his eyes from hers. "I don't wish for you to ever have to bloody your hands on scum that would attack a woman. That is my duty as your husband and it pains me to know that there will be times when I cannot be here to do as I should. But, since my duty to the Romans must continue for a while yet, then the next best thing would be to ensure that you can look after yourself in my absence. Yes, I will teach you what I can, and what I cannot teach you one of the others will."
He saw the light return to her eyes at his word and felt guilty that he wasn't telling her that he didn't agree with what he'd said. Well, not completely anyway. He had been sitting there thinking about what Arthur had said earlier, trying to figure out just what it was that he didn't agree with. He knew that women could be formidable warriors, the Woads proved as much, but he just didn't feel that it would be enough this time. There was something about the plan Arthur had suggested that worried him and he didn't know what it was. Finally, he decided it must just be his pride standing in the way of his understanding. It was a blow to his pride that he would not always be near to keep his wife out of harms way and because of his upbringing, it made him feel somehow less than what he would like himself to be. What he should be. So, here he was, vowing to do something that he wasn't sure was what he wanted and she looked so grateful that he felt even worse. Gods, love wasn't supposed to be this hard, was it?
His thoughts were interrupted when she leaned closer and gently kissed him and he got a whiff of her hair. She smelled of rose petals and lavender and he closed his eyes at the soothing smell as a moan involuntarily came from his throat at the thoughts that had replaced the ones of before. He felt her shift on his lap and opened his eyes as she leaned next to his ear. "A bath can cure many ills, my husband, and can lead to other things that will cure the ones it cannot.." Her voice was soft and husky and her breath felt warm against the skin of his neck. Never before had he wanted a woman as he did this one at this moment. Maybe Bors hadn't been exaggerating all those times he spoke of making up with Vanora after a fight being the best times he'd ever had.
"Then, maybe I should bathe as well for I don't think my smell can be nearly as healing as yours, my wife. Will you tend me as I bathe?" He whispered back. "With the right words, I might be persuaded to take another bath myself." She teased as she let her fingers run gently up the back of his neck. "Perhaps actions will speak louder than words." He growled as he stood up with her in his arms. She could not hold back the giggle that escaped her lips and saw him smile as they headed away from the table. She almost giggled again at the looks on the others' faces when they realized that not only had she joined them again, but that before they had realized it, Gawain was taking her away in a bit of a hurry.
"Uh Oh," mused Bors, "he's in for it now."
"What do you mean?" questioned Galahad, innocently.
"Think about it, boy." Shot Lancelot between his nibbling on the latest wench's ear.
"I still don't get it." He said defensively.
"Let me explain it to you, pup." Bors teased. "The had a disagreement…" "and she stormed off mad as hell…" piped in Lancelot. "He sits here moping around, worrying that he upset her…" added Dagonet, "Then she comes back all lovey dovey…" continued Bors, "and now they've gone off to make up." Finished Lancelot in a tone that said he should understand now.
"I saw all of that, I'm not blind you know! But why did you say he's 'in for it'. In for what?" he whined to everyone.
"Here, boy, let me explain it so you'll understand it. While they're off making up, she'll get Gawain to agree to whatever she asks. Then tomorrow, she'll be as proud as a peahen that she has her way and he'll still be trying to figure out how she got him to agree in the first place. It's known as a 'woman's wiles'", Bors finished.
"You mean she was just acting and she means to trick him?" Galahad asked incredulously.
"No, no, not pretending. It's just that women use their, um, abilities, to get their way with men." Dagonet tried to explain.
"I don't think Sarah is that kind of woman. She's honest…" began Galahad only to be interrupted by Lancelot as he pushed the wench from his lap. "It's not a matter of being honest or dishonest. Men want women in their beds at night and knowing this women use it to get their way with men. It's been like this since the beginning of time." He ended as if they were discussing why it rains in Britain.
Galahad still sat there with a confused expression on his face as Vanora walked up to the table. "Galahad, don't you listen to this nonsense these men are fillin' your ears with! They're just jealous that Gawain found what they can't, that's all." She gave Bors a scathing look as she picked up their empty mugs, walking around the table behind him. As she walked behind him toward the bar she 'accidentally' hit him in the back of the head with the ones she was carrying in her right hand.
"Ow! What'ya do that for?" he complained, rubbing his head. "Sorry, Love. Didn't see ya there." Was the sarcastic reply as she walked away. "Uh Oh." He mumbled as he watched her walk away.
"I guess you're going to tell me that now you're 'in for it'." Galahad shot at Bors. Lancelot was laughing so hard it took him a moment to say anything, "Yeah, Bors, tell him all about how speaking without looking around can get you 'in for it'." Bors looked at Lancelot, then back toward the bar where Vanora was standing, then back toward Lancelot with his mouth hanging open. Finally, he closed his mouth and reached for his mug.
"Naw, she just didn't see me, ain't that right Dag?" He said dismissively. "I don't know Bors. You're kind of hard to miss. Maybe you should go over there and try to smooth things over a bit." Dag teased his friend. They all knew that when Vanora said jump, Bors didn't hesitate. As gruff as the old man tried to be, with his lover he was meek as a kitten and none of them thought less of him for being so. Vanora was a good woman and they all admired her a great deal. But it was such fun to tease him when he let his mouth get him into trouble.
"Maybe I should," he started, then looking at Galahad, he added, "she's got some explaining to do if she hit me on purpose." He grabbed his mug and headed for the bar with Galahad watching his every move.
Lancelot poked Galahad on the arm as he said, "Now watch. First he's going to act gruff and angry that she hit him, then she's going to lay into him about talking about women in such a disrespectful way, now he's explaining that he didn't mean anything by what he said and start trying to sweet talk his way back into her good graces…" As Lancelot described the scene playing out across the room, Galahad watched in amazement as it happened just as he predicted. Finally, he shook his head, "Stop. I don't want to hear any more. You all talk like women have some kind of magical power they use on men and frankly it is beginning to scare me. What if they don't remove the spell when a man doesn't want to be with them anymore? What can a man do then?"
Lancelot was looking toward Tristan and taking a drink when Galahad spoke and the look on Tristan's face almost made him spit his ale across the table. It was the closest thing to a smile he'd seen on the man's face in a long time. Before he could answer, though, Tristan spoke up, his face back to the solemn mask he always wore, "Women. A man's better off just staying as far away from them as he can get. That's the only way to be safe from their wiles." After finishing his 'speech', he stood up and headed from the tavern. Lancelot watched him go and decided to use his parting remark to get a little deeper into Galahad's young head.
"It's sad really, what a woman did to him. That's why he enjoys killing so much, because of a woman." He pretended to shake his head and look into his mug as if he was contemplating something from the past. All the while, waiting for Galahad to take the bait. Which he did, of course, giving Lancelot many ideas as to how he could keep this entertainment going for a long time. Someone was always having troubles with their love affairs and he'd be certain to point out the 'signs' of men under a woman's spell. Before this was over with, Galahad would be almost at the point of running any time a woman looked his way.
A cough from Dagonet brought his attention back to the present and he looked up to see Bors standing at the end of the table, looking very uncomfortable. Vanora was standing just behind him and Lancelot could tell she was prodding him from behind to do something he didn't want to do. After about the third time she had poked him, he looked at Galahad and said, "Forget all that stuff we was saying earlier. Ain't none of it true. We were just pickin' on you, that's all." He stopped talking and looked around the table. "Now come on men, tell him the truth or…" he hesitated and when Vanora poked him again he rushed on to finish, "or Vanora said she would cut us all off. No ale for a week!" Vanora nodded her head in agreement with what Bors said and Lancelot saw the look of terror on the man's face. He really believed that she would deny them something to drink if they came in asking for it if they all didn't confess to picking on Galahad. Well, maybe she would at that, so he turned to the younger man and said, "True, it was a little jest, but I must say you fell for it without much prodding from any of us."
Galahad looked around the table and then at Vanora. When he saw the sympathy in her eyes he knew he had been had. He hung his head and slowly shook it. "Am I really that easy to lead?" he asked no one in particular. Dagonet spoke quietly, "I'm afraid you are, boy. But don't worry, we were all that way once, so hang on to it as long as you can. Things are much nicer when you don't know so much and are surprised by the events of the day." Galahad looked thankfully at Dag and gave a little laugh, leave it to Dag to lighten the mood. Satisfied, Vanora left the table and Bors sat down with a thump. "That was close. Just thinkin' about no drink for a week almost was my undoin'." Everyone then turned the laughter on their older friend and it all started up again.
Vanora watched as Bors was on the receiving end this time. She smiled and shook her head. That was the way of these men. Their way of releasing the energy that built up between missions. Their way of being close without showing emotion. Their way of… just being themselves without having to prove anything to everyone around them. And she loved them for it. Every one of them.