Author's note: I actually wrote this last year for a Christmas fanfiction contest on Deviant art. I changed the song since this site no longer allows the use of entire songs(major bummer!). Come to think of it, I think the lyrics I'm using this time work better than the song I had before.
Warnings: Violence and bad language.
Lyrics credit: Believe, by Josh Groban(Polar Express theme). I took some liberties and the few lyrics I used appear out of order from the way they are sung, but that is so they work in context with the story.
Saving Christmas
Believe
in what you feel inside,
Give
your dreams the wings to fly.
You
have everything you need, if you just believe.
o
"...so ever since Dende sent me this message, I figured you'd know what the heck he's talking about. What makes some fat guy in a red suit so important?" Piccolo's low, hoarse voice barely reached my ears over the air roaring past my head.
"Santa's a special, magical being. Every year on Christmas Eve he flies around the world and leaves all the good children some gifts under their Christmas tree. It's...really a long story. All I know is if she's screwing around with Santa, she might destroy the spirit of Christmas." I wrapped my arms around myself. Not even Saiyajin skin protected me from the chill in the air. I must've looked silly flying up there in two sweatshirts, two sets of sweats and a trench coat topped with swimming goggles on my face to keep the icy wind out of my eyes. It beat squinting the whole way.
Piccolo shot me a dubious look from beneath his brow ridges. "And how does he fly around the world?"
"In a sleigh powered by flying reindeer." I grinned at him, "I told you, he's magical."
"Why do I even ASK you these things?"
I batted my eyes. "Because I'm too sexy to resist?"
That made him scowl at me, "Shut up."
Here's the scoop: I'd been sleeping nice, comfortable and warm in my bed. Piccolo came zooming in and ripped the covers right off my body, telling me to get dressed for cold weather and get outside.
The problem?
Somehow, some way, Void turned up at the North Pole. You heard me...the North Pole...as in Santa's territory.
By the look of it she caught Santa on a return trip to reload his sleigh. She's making him disgustingly late for his nightly journey across my half of the planet! Dammit.
Void is screwing with CHILDREN'S beliefs now. Potentially destroying that smile children flash when they wake up on Christmas morning to find their presents waiting under the tree. It would cause fights between the parents, crying kids and a generally miserable day for everyone.
In my mind Christmas morning is "family time". A time where everybody sits around and opens their gifts. And if somebody is deathly sick, it could be their last Christmas on Earth. For some, their last DAY.
And Void is turning it into a disaster.
I can't have that. Not if Piccolo and I can stop it. So here we are, off to kick her crusty ass yet again. Le-sigh.
The clear sky above seemed as dark and distant as eternity. The stars were ice diamonds frozen on black velvet. Brrr. Clear skies made for colder nights - no clouds to hold in what little warmth the day brings. Even Piccolo was hugging himself. No problem for me. I got a nice view of his biceps. He caught me staring and pulled his cape around himself. Ass.
Below us, the ground resembled the sky - a sea of forever twinkling lights in different shapes and sizes against a black horizon. Glass towers glittered like multifaceted gems on display for purchase. Freeways became rivers of red and white while other dwellings danced in shades of gold and silver. I could tell which houses had Christmas lights up just by observing the multicolored twinkles wrapped around different rooftops.
Flying...what an amazing sensation. It's like a neverending roller coaster mixed in with a great view. There's really no sense of gravity. You know those sudden drops on roller coasters that make you rise off your seat? Combine that with a virtual ride like Star Tours at Disneyland or Back To The Future at Universal Studios and you'll have the exact sensation of ki flight. Only with ki flight there's nothing restraining you. No harnesses, no wires, no seats, no screens and no tracks. It's utter and complete freedom.
Sound fun? You bet it is!
I kept diving between buildings and zooming back up to Piccolo's level. Doing it just because I could. Or at least I did until Piccolo threatened to leave me behind and fight Void on his own.
I think he's just grumpy because Dende interrupted his meditation.
"Last stupid question," Piccolo dropped down to my level.
I snapped out of my thoughts to look at him. "Shoot."
"Where the hell does this...Santa...get these toys?"
"Duh! He has a ton of elves to help him! And I don't mean elves like Legolas. They're tiny, magic people. Some say Santa is an elf himself, but...heh...I doubt he'd be able to haul all those presents around if he was that tiny."
"You're tiny and you can haul me around." said Piccolo.
"I'm a Saiyajin. I have an excuse"
"...true." Dark eyes gazed ahead, then returned to me, "But isn't he magical?"
I met his gaze and smiled, "Good point."
Just then the air became moist and more frigid than ever. The city lights became sparse until they vanished altogether. My luxurious view of Piccolo, gone. I turned my gaze again to the dark horizon, afraid to get distracted by the endless stars above.
Piccolo halted suddenly. "Do you feel that?"
At first all I felt was the wind blasting me from behind. I grabbed onto Piccolo so we wouldn't get separated in the dark.
"C'mon, kid, focus!"
I snarled at him, "I'm trying! It's damn cold up here!"
Ki vibrations. Slow, dark, evil ki vibrations. You know that dread you feel when you get caught doing something you shouldn't? Yeah, it was like that.
"Dammit, she's there all right."
"Let's go." Piccolo exhaled a white steam cloud and took off without warning, which forced me to jerk myself after him.
We flew into a wall of colder air than before. I mean...it went from just stinging cold to knives in my face and hands. Even Piccolo had ton of goosebumps and I've never seen him show signs of being cold before. Then again, I'd never seen him cold on my side of the mirror before.
Lights up ahead. The small yellow lights you'd find in a town or village. My nose began to detect the distinct odors of...gingerbread, peppermint and, yum, chocolate. Piccolo noticed too, I saw his nose twitch a few times.
The best part?
Snow.
Snow everywhere.
I'd never seen it before in my life and now, there it was, all over the place. It glistened almost blue and gold with reflections of the sky and lights.
Piccolo swooped down with me right behind him. He landed expertly. Me? I slipped and fell flat on my face. Ker-PLOOF! And discovered snow feels like a snow cone without flavor. Or like that white stuff you find in the freezer if it's set too cold. And it was COLD!
"That was real smooth, kid. Try coming in slower next time." Piccolo grabbed me by the tails of my trench coat and lifted me easily out of the snowdrift. Chilly white stuff clung to my hair like a ridiculous wig. With my hair I bet I resembled one of those Christmas trees with the white stuff on them.
"Now he tells me." Climbing down, I shook off. The snow was kinda thick under my feet and I kept sinking in. I can't really describe it other than it was crunchy when I shifted my weight. Moving around was harder than I expected and I wondered how the hell Piccolo wasn't sinking. He weighs a LOT more than I do.
Piccolo turned his back to me. Heh, heh...I couldn't resist. I gathered some snow up between my hands and packed it into a tight ball. Took aim and flung it at Piccolo's back as hard as I could.
The snow exploded on Piccolo's back. He spun to face me and bore his amazing fangs, snarling, "This is not the time!"
"Couldn't resist."
A low, angry warning growl shut me up.
I turned my attention to the little village ahead. It was literally all gingerbread houses with pretty candy cane fences and red licorice strung between them. Only they were as big as real houses; the candy canes appeared about the size of telephone poles, but the licorice, although longer than average, was the same size as normal licorice.
Perhaps the only inedible things you'd find here would be the toys themselves.
And I didn't hear any machinery at all. No voices. No singing or laughing or shouting. Utter, dead silence.
I saw a faint red glow through the corner of my eye. A stray Christmas light? No, too big. Flickering too much. I broke away from Piccolo and stumbled over to investigate.
Antlers poked up above the snow. Oh, hell...
"Rudolph!" I gasped and knelt to wipe the snow off the wiry, tawny fur. Some of it came away bloody and stuck to my hands. Crimson poured from a deep puncture wound in one heaving flank. The wound told me exactly who did it.
Rudolph's nose flickered again. His large, dark eyes started to close. He was dying.
"Piccolo! Come quick!"
Footsteps crunched towards me. Piccolo knelt on Rudolph's other side.
I stroked the poor reindeer's coarse fur. "Do Senzu beans work on animals?"
"I don't know."
"Gimme one anyway."
Piccolo reached for the pouch on his belt and handed me one. I thrust my hand against Rudolph's snout and tried not to squirm away when his slimy tongue slurped the bean right off my palm. He struggled with it for awhile until he swallowed.
Rudolph's nose instantly glowed blinding red. He rolled to his feet and reared up with a loud snort. Whoever wrote The Night Before Christmas was mistaken about Santa's reindeer being small! I jumped away from the flying hooves and laughed. Rudolph came down, nudged my hair and licked my cheek with a slick tongue. Eeeeeeew! It was funnier when he did it to Piccolo, too!
"Disgusting!" Piccolo wiped the spit off his face, scowling. "Come on now, we need to find Void."
At that, Rudolph snorted and reared up again. He turned to a shadowed area, then looked back at us.
"Piccolo, I think he wants us to follow him." I watched the reindeer in awe. Such a beautiful, graceful animal. "Rudolph, can you understand what we're saying? Blink your nose twice if you do."
Rudolph's nose flickered twice. Wow!
"Did Void get the other reindeer too?"
Rudolph stomped and his nose flared. I think that was reindeer-ese for 'yes, and I'm pissed about it!'. I turned to Piccolo, who nodded to me in return.
"I'll need eight more Senzu beans."
"Take the bag." Piccolo untied the burlap sack from his belt and dropped it into my hands, then turned away. "I'm going to see what Void is up to. Hurry up with this, I'll need your help."
My lip quirked, "No problem. Hey, Piccolo? Love ya."
"...feh." He flipped his cape over his shoulder and took off like a bat out of Hell.
Rudolph looked down at me with twinkling eyes. He snatched the bag in his teeth and took off into the dark!
"Hey!" and I squished right after him.
I really wish I'd thought to bring snow shoes...
o
The stables smelled like gingerbread, mint, blood and fur. Above each broken door was the name of the reindeer lying wounded inside. Every injury was the same - a deep stab wound in the flank. They'd been napping when she attacked. No chance for them to defend themselves.
Void's three-toed footprints were all over the dirty floor. I even spotted slash marks from her tail on the gingerbread walls. She'd taken a bite out of the door.
She'll be sorry she did this when I get MY hands on her...
Rudolph spilled the Senzu beans all over the ground. I gasped at him, "Only one each!"
He dug his hoof against the floor, picked up one bean and headed straight for Dasher. I grabbed three and hurried to Dancer, Prancer and Vixen. Comet and Cupid stirred a few moments later, with Rudolph's help, followed by Donder and Blitzen.
Blitzen bent down to sniff at Void's footprints. He snorted and looked at me. The others were out of their proper stables, so I couldn't really tell who was who. Except for Comet and Cupid. Comet had a pattern identical to his namesake under his left eye and Cupid had a little heart on his forehead. Cute.
Each of them fixed their large, twinkling brown eyes on me. Scared, angry, worried. I felt so bad that I couldn't do anything more for them.
"Yeah, we're gonna get her, I promise." I gathered up the remaining senzu beans scattered on the floor. No time to worry about sanitation or anything like that. "I gotta go help Santa now...will you guys be okay?"
Nine heads dipped affirmative.
"Okay!" I waved to them, "I'll see you again soon."
Back out into the squishy snow for me.
o
Santa's workshop isn't hard to spot. It's the biggest honking building in the tiny village. Big as a warehouse. The roof was made entirely of graham crackers the size of a queen-sized mattress. Massive candy canes and peppermint sticks flanked the path on either side. Yellow light glowed through the frosted windows. It all looked mighty peaceful.
Except for the Void-sized chunk taken out of one side. Void's footprints were all over the place. She must have one hell of a sweet tooth, because there were bite marks on EVERYTHING! Big, razor toothed bites with a mouth big enough to enclose my head and snip it right off my shoulders. I'm serious, it's disgusting.
Piccolo walked over from his previously unseen location on the other side of the roof. The breeze rustled his cape gracefully to the left, making him look like he belonged up there. The Green Guardian of Christmas, heh. He gestured for me to join him. I did as he asked, landing slow so as not to fall. Piccolo dragged me over to a hole in the roof. "Look."
Warmth billowed up from the opening. There in the yellow light sat the black, shadowy form of Void. So out of place in the bright colors all around. She reclined like a satisfied cat in front of a fireplace, lazily dining on what remained of the magical machinery that assembled the toys. That sick bitch! For the children's' sake I hope Santa finished making toys before she arrived. I really, really do.
"No." Piccolo grabbed me when I made a move to dive in. "She'll see us coming from up here. I'm going to sneak in behind her from the back door. You'll need to get her attention. Can you handle that?"
"Not a problem."
Piccolo nodded and disappeared behind the building with a snap of his white cape. I dropped off the opposite side of the roof and began packing snow together in my hands. My fingers were so numb that I didn't even notice the cold. I just kept patting and shaping the snowball until it was hard as a rock and bigger than my head. Then I dashed to the hole Void blasted into the wall.
"Hey, Ass-mole! Merry Christmas!"
Void jerked her head up. Half a candy cane dangled from the corner of her mouth. "You!"
"Yes, ME." I tossed the snowball up and down a few times. "You know...you really do suck. At least the Grinch was creative! You? You're just a lame-ass wannabe." And I flung the snowball at her as hard as my body would allow.
KA-POOF!
Bullseye!
I'd hit Void so hard she did a complete flip and landed back on her ass! Most of the snow went into her mouth. She coughed it up along with the candy cane she'd been eating and blinked stupidly at me. I never knew someone so evil could look so hilarious. Ahahaha!
Piccolo pounced on Void the instant she coughed. They started fighting right in the middle of Santa's workshop! Nothing was safe from the brawl! Candy canes, crackers, cookies and toys went flying everywhere. I don't know which was more dangerous - them or the flying shrapnel!
"Don't just stand there!" snapped Piccolo between punches. "Find this Santa person! I'll handle Void for now!"
"Are you sure!"
Piccolo kneed Void in the ribs. She punched him in the face. The blow twisted his head towards me and bright indigo blood splattered on my gray sweatshirt.
He gurgled on his own blood, "Just GO!"
Void reared up to her full 9'9" height. Her tail lashed and I knew it was going to take Piccolo's head off, so naturally I freaked out. I grabbed another handful of snow and flung it at her face with both hands. She grabbed her eyes, screaming. Anything, no matter what it is, hurts like hell if it hits your eyes at that speed. It made me glad I wore goggles...just in case she tried the same thing.
The fling also sent my ring flying right off my cold-shrunken finger. The one ring I never take off...the same ring I exchanged with Piccolo after our first adventure. Its round, gold shape twinkled and disappeared into the fray. I'd never find it in all this! I felt like I just lost part of myself.
No time to get mad. Something tugged my sleeve twice. I turned and found myself staring into the large green eyes of an adorable person no taller than my elbow. Round-faced, dressed in red and green and sporting ears eerily like Piccolo's. An elf! A real, live elf! He tugged again, more insistently, until I knelt to his level.
"She ate Santa!" the elf cried in a melodic little voice.
My stomach gurgled in disgust. "ATE him? How?"
"Her tail," the elf replied, wide-eyed. "The sharp end spread open like Santa's bag and engulfed him."
"Then we'll just have to make her puke him back up." I straightened again, giving the scared elf a soft pat on the back. "We'll save him. PICCOLO!"
"What! I told you to go find - " Piccolo blocked one of Void's punches.
"She ATE HIM! Just like Cell ate the Androids!"
"And he was wonderful," said Void smugly. She kicked Piccolo aside and dove straight at me.
I ducked under Void's punch and buried my fist in her gut. If punching Cell in the gut made him puke up Eighteen, maybe it'd make Void puke up Santa. I had to try! I had to save Christmas!
Punching Void is like punching a metal tank. My poor knuckles! Ouch!
"Nice try, but not nice enough." Void snickered and slapped me aside with one massive hand. I tumbled head over heels into Piccolo, who went down on a pile of gift wrap.
Piccolo, we gotta make her puke somehow!
Piccolo shifted beneath me, Or blast her open and reach in to get him.
Oh, gross!
Don't be such a baby about it! Now listen, I spoke with a few of those elves...
I twisted my head around to look at Piccolo. Why didn't -
Shut up and listen! He glared. Elves are not helpless little pussyfoots. I've been having telepathic conversations with the guy in charge of the toys and he's scrounging up the others. They're going to help us knock the stuffing out of Void. But we have to keep her occupied until they're ready.
You're so sexy when you're sneaky. I bent down and stole a kiss off Piccolo's lips. He asked for it by being so damn hot.
He smirked up at me, gray eyes twinkling. Damn, that Namek is sexy! Just make sure those Believers are behind you.
We got one now. Yeah, that means YOU. Are you ready to help me kick some Void ass?
Good. Piccolo said silently, turning his head to Void. Now let's get moving before she realizes we're not just laying here for our health.
"Oh, how cute, you're getting tangled in the ribbons." Void clasped her hands by her cheek and grinned at us. Her silver eyes arched with amusement, but her echoing voice dripped sarcasm. "It's sweet enough to give me diarrhea for weeks!"
I struggled to free my hair from a tangle of gift wrap and colored bows. "You ARE diarrhea, you piece of shit!"
Piccolo suppressed a snicker and wormed his way out from under me. "Is it sweet enough to make you puke, too?"
"Nice try."
I looked at Piccolo. Piccolo looked at me. We both smirked and started powering up. Toys, candy, anything not tied down went flying in the wild tornadoes of our auras. One blue white, the other bright gold. Did I ever mention powering up to SSJ is the fastest way to get warm if you're cold? Well it is! I felt like someone turned a heater on inside me. It was really cool watching my own hair turn gold.
No time to enjoy it. Void charged!
WHAM!
"Masenko-HA!" Piccolo's yellow blast sent her flying back the way she came.
I leapfrogged over it to deliver a second one straight after the first. The double blows blasted Void through the wall behind her and sent her sliding headfirst a good fifty feet. She crashed through two smaller buildings, dug a trench in the snow and came to stop under a huge mound of white fluff created by her body. Only her tail remained visible.
I wish life had Instant Replay, that was COOL!
Weird, Void seemed a LOT weaker than she should've been. Could it be that Santa was messing with her from within to help us beat her? I had no way to know...and no way to think about it.
The snowdrift exploded. She was after me again!
"You should learn to stop getting in my way, girl." Void snarled in my face. Her breath smelled like candy canes. Geez, how many did she eat!
I ducked under Void's punches, but slipped. Ended up tripping her because I landed right on her toes. She fell face first with her legs across my back. I immediately grabbed her right foot, sat on her leg and twisted her ankle as far back as I could. Wrestling move I used to see done on TV. One that always made the other guy tap out.
Void wailed in pain. Wailed. She kicked me painfully in the shoulder with her other foot and rolled to her knees.
And came face to face with Rudolph's glowing red nose. Reflections of it shone in the corners of the reindeer's narrowed eyes.
"NOW!" Piccolo screamed. "Get clear!"
I scrambled on my hands and knees to escape. The snow slowed me down. Piccolo hauled me upright and out of the way just as a tiny "charge!" split the air.
Blitzen, with two tiny elves on his back, exploded from the stables like a champagne cork. All I heard was a dull thud as he slammed his antlers into Void's side. Piccolo followed this with a bright ki blast to keep Void off balance. Six more reindeer charged her from different directions. They were amazingly strong, their headbutts literally rocked her and knocked her down! Each time they did, Piccolo or I blasted her.
Dasher proved himself the fastest runner. Dancer was graceful and Prancer seemed to be the best jumper. Blitzen became the most aggressive of the bunch. Donder had the big, heavy snow hooves and Vixen the biggest antlers. These assets proved for interesting attacks. Poor Void didn't have a CHANCE to even try to fight back...at least not until they stopped charging.
Void climbed to her feet, dazed and bleeding. Bells jingled. She fixed her eyes on something above us and whimpered, "Oh, damn you all!"
BAM!
Santa's sleigh slammed into Void for the knockout blow. She dropped in a heap in the snow like a massive coal pile amidst the pure white.
Yeah!
If reindeer could grin, I think Comet and Cupid would've been beaming. They brought the sleigh to a halt a few feet away, turned and came back towards us.
Piccolo and I just kind of stood back and watched in amazement as the elves started piling up on top of Void. There must've been ten of them. They all jumped up and down on her gut in unison, shouting in a language I'd never heard before. On and on and on. Their bells jingled in time with their leaps.
And Void puked.
Everywhere.
Everything she ate came up exactly as she swallowed it. Whole and completely dry. But you won't catch me eating any of THAT. Dry or not, it was still PUKED up from something.
Finally Santa's hat came up, but the elves seemed to have a hard time getting Santa out. No matter how hard they jumped, they couldn't make her cough him up. I began to worry. What if she came around before they finished?
I said, "Piccolo? I think you should help. You're the heaviest here."
He shook his head, "Nope. This is your world. You do it. Just ask the Believers, they'll help."
"No, both of us. Together. They'll help us if we work together."
Hey, Believers? Time to step in and save Christmas with me. Ya ready?
Piccolo and I made our way to the gathering of chattering, frustrated elves. They came in all shapes, sizes and colors. Each looked up as we approached. One by one they climbed off Void's gut while Piccolo and I stepped on. Even our combined weight didn't push her belly down. She's a rock!
But not impenetrable.
The energy was there. You, Piccolo, everybody and everything around me. Stronger than a spirit bomb, stronger than anything I know.
Believe as hard as you can. Tense like you're going to jump. Send me that power.
"On three," Piccolo whispered. "One."
I tensed.
"Two."
I felt your energy seeping into me. Come on now...believe.
"Three!"
We jumped in unison. Our feet slammed into Void's gut.
Ker-POP!
"OOF!"
Santa flew out of Void's throat like a bullet! You did it!
Piccolo lifted his arms and caught the poor, confused man under the armpits with perfect grace. Santa blinked twice with eyes like dinner plates. All the elves cheered, danced and applauded. Piccolo set Santa down gently on the ground.
Santa donned his red hat. He really was a sweet looking man. About my height with twinkling blue eyes and a big, curly white handlebar mustache and matching beard. Rosy nose and cheeks. A big tummy. Just like he was described in The Night Before Christmas.
"Well I never - " the gentle blue eyes fixed on me and crinkled into a huge grin. "Well! Ho, ho, ho, what have we here?"
I blushed and looked over at Piccolo, "A big mess, but we can help fix it if we hur- "
"You think you've WON!" Void cut in with a snarl. She rose to her full height, gleaming silver eyes more chilling than the snow around us. An exact opposite to Santa's gaze. So full of hate and rage. She took a step with a massive foot that made snow crunch under her splayed toes. "Think again!"
Void started powering up. Snow, debris, ice and a few hapless elves swirled through her silver-black aura. She laughed at them.
Piccolo jerked into a fighting stance. I did the same. The remaining elves and reindeer all bunched up in a trembling mass of bodies.
Santa spun around with his hands on his hips. "You've been VERY naughty, Void!" He wagged a finger at Void like she was a disobedient child.
Void just stared at him in disgust. Her tail beat the ground. "Oh, what are you gonna do about it? Give me a pile of coal?"
What the hell did Santa think he was doing? Even Piccolo looked incredulously at him. My face must've mirrored Piccolo's, because Santa turned to us and winked. The finger he'd been wagging glowed soft white. He pointed at Void and a glittery white beam engulfed her.
"What the! AHAHA! You think this'll hurt ME!" Void burst out laughing, "You've got another thing coming you - " Suddenly her eyes popped open wide. The aura she'd called up disappeared and the elves she'd caught up fell. A few reindeer grabbed air to catch them and bring them safely to the ground.
"What's he doing?"
Piccolo glanced down at me through the corner of his eye, "I dunno. Whatever it is, it seems to be working."
The "glitter" from Santa's finger became a rainbow colored swirl that quickly engulfed Void's massive frame.
"AAAHHH!" Void's body went stiff as a board. Her eyes went from narrow rage to dinner plate confusion. She squirmed, trying to move, but couldn't. It was like her limbs were glued in place. Kinda reminded me of the scene where Buu turned Dabura into a cookie, only Void kept on screaming. "NO! What the hell are you doing? STOP!"
She started to shrink!
"You fat bastard! Stop it! LET ME GO!"
Nine feet.
Eight feet...
"I hate you! I HATE YOU ALL!"
...two feet.
One foot.
Six inches...
"...You'll pay for this! You'll - mmrl-mmph-mmh-mmmm!"
...four inches.
Silence.
The light faded.
There, sitting in the snow, was a tiny action figure in the shape of Void. As lifeless and inanimate as the surrounding snow.
Piccolo and I looked from the Void toy to Santa. I walked over to the toy and picked it up. Perfect, lifelike detail recreated in plastic miniature. I turned it face-up. A single tear fell from each of its lifelike eyes. Then the figurine melted like warm wax on my palm, the droplets turning into lumps of coal as they hit the snow. Pat-pat-plunk-plunk. Its eyes were the last to go. I felt like she was staring up at me the whole time, begging for help that she didn't deserve.
Seeing that actually choked me up for a second. A minute ago this oily mass in my hand was a living, breathing thing. Even if Void deserved it, it was easier to see her blow up than watch her just melt helplessly. I knew she wasn't dead, you can't kill something like Void, but still...it was hard to watch.
Santa dusted his hands off and rubbed his beard, ruefully eyeing the pile of coal between my feet. "And THAT is for swallowing me."
His voice snapped me out of my funk. I stared at him in disbelief. All that mess and he put her down like she was nothing! "How did you do that?"
Santa spread his arms, "Why, the same way you have twice before." He touched my face with both hands and smiled at me. "Thank you for your help."
His smile sobered. "But it's so late. I can't work my magic to get the gifts to all the children on your side of the world in time. Even my reindeer have limits and I cannot pause time long enough to reach them all before dawn. That...evil creature attacked me just as I was picking up my second bag and letting my reindeer catch a nap."
"That's your prob - "
I promptly elbowed Piccolo in the stomach to shut him up. Ignoring his irate expression, I folded my arms across my chest. My hand felt naked and cold without my ring. "Piccolo and I can help! Just tell us where to go and we'll handle some of those presents for you."
That seemed to please the jolly old elf. Santa rested his hands on his round middle and laughed. "Thank you, thank you so much! Let me get my spare hats." He winked, "They're full of my magic dust."
Piccolo made a face like he just ate a lemon. I levitated up to eye level and grabbed him by the collar, yanking him nose to nose. "Look, we saved Christmas from Void. Now we have to help Santa follow through or a LOT of children will wake up very, very, very unhappy. For some it's the only time of year where they get anything nice. Don't be an asshole about it for once in your life, okay? Please? You'll see why it's special once you go through with it."
"This had better be worth it." he said from low in his throat.
I was about to answer when I felt something cold touch my cheek. When I looked up I thought the stars were drifting down from the sky. "It's snowing!"
"So?"
Laughing, I held my hands up to catch some of the gentle flakes fluttering all around. It peppered my hair and clothes. I looked over, grinning when I noticed the little fluff of green leaves with white berries hanging on a branch above Piccolo's snow-flecked head. "You're standing under mistletoe."
That glare once again, "So?"
I leaned over and planted a wet one on his mouth. "You're supposed to kiss anybody standing under mistletoe."
Piccolo met my eyes and smirked, "Then do it right."
Needless to say...I did. Who wouldn't? He kissed me back this time. It was magical, just like in the movies. The instant our lips touched a string of white lights on the tree came to life. As did the rest of the workshop. The damage Void caused began reversing itself like a tape on rewind. Even her footprints disappeared, along with the pile of coal Santa turned her into. The presents started wrapping themselves. Everything settled into its rightful place.
All because of a kiss.
"Ho, ho, ho...my goodness!"
"And the next time you get eaten, I swear...you're lucky I ran into that nice green man." Came a bell-like female voice. She said something else, but I missed half of it. I only heard the tail end. " - you silly man. This is why you should let those reindeer sleep BEFORE you leave."
"Yes, yes...you're right of course." Santa replied happily, "Now, not to worry, it's being taken care of. Thank you." And the familiar smack of a quick kiss.
I finally unglued my mouth from Piccolo's and met his eyes with a smile. Piccolo actually blushed. He didn't smile back, but his dark eyes were softer than usual and twinkled like stars. Reflecting the lights around us. "Let's go help Santa load his sleigh."
o
The sleigh was all ready to go. Reindeer were hooked up, the magic bag of presents was loaded on the back and dozens of bells waited to jingle. Two strips of lights, separated by candy canes, were set up as the takeoff and landing point. Tiny elves stood on either side to direct us into the snowy sky. I even spotted a control tower situated right next door to Santa's workshop. Blue-clothed elves wearing headsets and microphones bustled about within, chirping to each other in that strange little language.
I worried Piccolo and I would only hinder Santa's progress by riding in the sleigh, but Santa heard nothing of it. He said our weight wouldn't bother or slow the reindeer down. That made me feel better.
Oh, and for the curious - Santa's sleigh was equipped with an aircraft radar that rivaled NORAD's. It had a radio just like an airplane pilot's, along with instruments that measured altitude, temperature and all that other good stuff. The screens and dials, being bright red instead of green, looked a bit different than what you and I would be used to. His sleigh even came equipped with a force field to keep out rain and heaters to stay warm.
There were a million other really cool things onboard, but...let's just say Santa is very up to date.
And the hats! Oh my God, they were amazing! The minute I put mine on my head was filled with names, addresses, directions and what gifts went where. It turns out that Santa switches hats as he goes to different places around the world. Every time he comes back to swap toy bags, he swaps hats for fresh info.
Piccolo looked hilarious and I told him so. He seemed to think it was amusing to keep flipping the tassel on my hat over my face.
We crammed into the sleigh - Piccolo and I on either side with Santa in the middle. A tight fit, but not uncomfortable.
"Activate the time dilation spell." Santa picked up the reins, stroked his beard and looked to Piccolo and I in turn. The instant he did that, the snow seemed to freeze in mid air. As if time itself stopped. Santa smiled and tapped a button on the 'dashboard'. "This is Santa Claus reporting in to the Blue Elves. Are we ready for departure?"
The radio crackled. "It's a go!"
The lights lining the landing strip began flashing in sequence exactly like an airplane runway. Santa taxied the reindeer into position for takeoff. Snow crunched gently under the sleigh.
I caught Piccolo's eyes, grinned and bounced in my seat. Couldn't help the excitement. How many people in the universe can say they actually RODE with Santa on Christmas Eve?
Rudolph's nose lit up and cast a red glow around us. Santa gave the reins a jolly shake. "Now Dasher, now Dancer and Prancer! Now Vixen, Comet and Cupid! Now Donder, Blitzen and Rudolph! Let's be off!"
Each reindeer galloped forward simultaneously. It pulled the sleigh with amazing power and speed. Bells jingled faster and faster. Ten feet into the sprint they started bounding, the sleigh bouncing like we hit a speed bump each time. Once, twice, three times and we ran off the edge of a cliff! The sleigh dipped abruptly, then climbed, painting a giant letter U in the sky. We joined the clouds in less time than it took a shooting star to fall. Smooth as...well...riding on air!
Piccolo grabbed the side of the sleigh. The wind peeled his lips back away from his teeth. His eyes were huge! "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
"Of course, I've been doing this for quite a while now."
I squealed, "Come on, Piccolo, it's fun!"
Piccolo settled a hand on his stomach. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
"Good thing you're already green."
Piccolo just covered his mouth with one hand and went quiet. I don't think he likes flying unless he's the one in control. Poor baby.
Santa leaned forward to tap a button on his dashboard. Christmas music by Mannheim Steamroller began to play. I love Mannheim Steamroller! They take traditional Christmas songs and give them a neat, modern twist! Like their version of the Hallelujah chorus...they gave it a rock beat. Piccolo stared at me when I started playing invisible drums on my knees in time with the music. Then God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen came on. My favorite part of that one is when the violins take over the melody.
Carol of the Bells was playing when the sleigh finally descended towards the first city. The dip felt better than most roller coasters.
I threw my arms up and shrieked as the wind bit my face. Cold, but FUN! "YEE-HAW!"
"Trust her to find something like this fun." Piccolo muttered, one hand on his hat and the other moving to grasp the side of the sleigh. His face was almost white.
Poor guy. I hope Santa had puke bags onboard.
"Okey dokey, here's how this works." The sleigh touched down gently on the first roof. Santa stood up. "Inside the large sack are smaller bags arranged by street name and addresses. Inside you'll find a smaller one for each house. Just touch the side of your nose to transport inside. Set the smaller sack down under the tree and pull off the string. It will disappear and the presents will arrange themselves in a pile that suits the tree. You have to be quick, the time dilation spell in that home breaks when you open the sack. Best to fill the stockings first if you find any." He nodded to us," I'll handle this street. You two take the two on either side."
Piccolo grudgingly reached in for a large sack. "I still don't know how I got suckered into this."
"Suck it up, Scrooge." Then I gave Santa a mock salute, "Aye, aye, captain!" and reached in for the first bag. The name and address of the home it went to instantly flashed across my mind. Wow, all neatly in order, nice!
It was odd to fly over this small, Canadian town. So silent and still. Like the world was a photograph with me being the only moving thing in it.
I landed on the first roof. Oh good, a chimney! I stood atop it and touched the side of my nose just like Santa instructed. My body literally shrank. I fell through and tumbled out into a dark little home. This bag trick was smart, I always DID wonder how Santa arranged those presents so nicely in the dark...
No time to fool around - I stuffed the stockings, took out the smaller sack and sat it under the tree. Tugged the string and POOF, the presents literally rotated and arranged themselves under the tree like Tetris pieces.
All clocks in the house instantly started ticking again. This house had a grandfather clock that scared me to death when it chimed the hour. I panicked and got the hell out.
It was really cool in the next house. When I opened the bag a miniature bike rolled out and grew to normal size after the presents finished arranging themselves.
You can only imagine what it was like to pull out bigger gifts...like a brand new car, skis, golf clubs, a motorcycle, a massive HD TV set and a toolshed. Everything appeared in miniature and didn't grow to full size until the other presents were done arranging themselves. Probably so the gifts could pile together in proper order.
I'm also ashamed to say I forgot all about checking for milk and cookies until I'd made my way halfway down the block. All I can say is thank God for Saiyajin appetites or I would've never been able to eat what the kids left out. And some were pretty creative. I think the best one so far was a slice of cold pizza and a soda. Yum, yum.
Piccolo and I met up with Santa when we finished our target blocks. We moved along and continued with the same patterns, gradually working our way across the city. Chased by the ever-present, but still-distant threat of morning coming before we finished.
I was kinda sad to leave Canada when we'd covered the entire country. So pretty and snowy, with bits of rain here and there.
Let's see, it took us about two hours of 'our' time to cover Canada, and that was moving at super speed.
"That was fast!" I breathed.
Santa winked. "I have excellent help."
"Feh." Piccolo still looked terribly uncomfortable. He started leaning over the side of the sleigh. I don't think he really threw up...but I could be wrong.
"Here," Santa reached into his pocket, rummaged around and handed Piccolo a round, red gumball. "Take this. It'll help your airsickness. Just chew it up and you'll be fine."
"...thanks." Piccolo's fingers tentatively lifted the sphere from Santa's palm. "But how will a gumball help my stomach?"
I leaned forward, looking past Santa to see Piccolo. "Piccolo, just try it. You should know by now that everything around us is all magic. Even the medicine."
"Only this is made to swallow."
"See?" I grinned.
Piccolo grudgingly put the gumball in his mouth and chewed. "Hm, tastes like cherries." That was the last he spoke for the time being. Now I can't be sure, but I think he blew a bubble. Couldn't tell you for certain because I only saw it in my peripheral vision.
The radar starting pinging. We breezed past an airplane frozen in mid air and left a few presents for everybody onboard. That one was tough because we had to be really sneaky. Luckily nobody woke up and we made it in and out without a hitch.
o
In no time at all we came to the east coast of the USA. Santa, Piccolo and I worked ourselves gradually south from Maine to Florida. I gotta tell you, it was really neat to fly past the Statue of Liberty, dodge through the wires on the Brooklyn Bridge, circle the Empire State building and pause at Ground Zero.
Santa took his hat off and shed a little tear for all those people torn from the world. Looks like he did this every year since it happened.
"We should give the gifts you would've given to them to people who have nothing." I touched his shoulder, "Let's give them to homeless."
"I usually do. Thank you." The jolly elf nodded. All three of us split up to leave a few presents next to every homeless person we could find. Toys and clothes for children. Blankets, clothes and food for the adults. Then it was off to the next states.
Along the way I must've seen a dozen sleeping children. I couldn't imagine what they might have felt if they woke up to discover Santa didn't come. But, thanks to you, faces that would've cried are going to smile.
"You know..." Piccolo piped up, "This really isn't so bad. It's not something I'd do all the time, but...it's not bad." The look on his face suggested he'd seen the same thing I did. His eyes were oddly soft. Could it be the Christmas spirit reached him at last?
I hope so.
o
Santa shook the reins to jump-start another takeoff. I looked back to watch the sea of lights known as Las Vegas depart into the darkness.
What a great trip across the country...I mean, wow, from above everything looked so peaceful. You'd never know how chaotic life on the ground really was until you landed.
The best part? Teaming up with Piccolo and sneaking into the dorm rooms and houses of my online buddies. It was cute watching Piccolo creep up to their computer desks, pull a candy cane out of his shirt and place them down next to the monitors. I had fun "helping" him get them out. If they smelled funny it's because they were up next to his sweaty abs. Yum.
But by the time we got close to California, I was really, really, really tired. Too tired to hold my Saiyajin form. My once wild hair now hung flat and straight like it was supposed to. It felt like my eyelids weighed ten megatons. I kept having microsleeps and spent more time leaning on Santa's shoulder than I did looking around at the lights below. Santa and Piccolo practically had to wake me up every time we landed to drop off gifts. Every now and then, I swore I heard Santa humming Auld Lang Syne, that New Years song nobody knows the words to.
The sleigh began to slow down. Santa put his arm around me. "I really should return you to your home so you can rest. I'm afraid the bag for your house won't open until you're asleep, even if you pull the string."
Piccolo whispered, "I'll handle it. She looks about out of it anyhow."
"Mmhmm." I dozed after that. Right there with my head on Santa's shoulder, I slept. Can't say how long, but I awoke when a large hand shook my left shoulder.
"C'mon, sleepy kid." Piccolo said gently, "Hand over your hat and I'll get you inside."
I did as he said, smiling dazedly up at Santa. "Thanks for the ride. That was so totally cool." I gave Dasher a little pat on the flank when he tossed his head.
Santa wiggled his nose at me, chuckling. "I should thank you for saving Christmas. Without your help I would've never reached all those houses in time. And I must admit, it was quite fun." He winked a clear blue eye and settled back in his sleigh, hands on the reins. "Run along to bed now. And tell your Believers I said 'hello'."
"Done and done." I winked back. "See ya next year, big guy."
The jolly elf lifted his hand in a wave as the sleigh took off. All I heard was the jingling bells and Santa's voice crying out, "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
My eyes followed the light of Rudolph's nose until it vanished in the southern sky. Off to Mexico. I knew Santa could take it himself from there.
"Hey, Piccolo?" I looked up towards his handsome green face.
Dark eyes fixed on me, "yeah?"
I bit my lip. "Do you think it's weird that I felt bad for Void when she melted like that?"
Piccolo's lips curled up on one side. "Nah."
He bent down with a gentle swish of his cape, one arm curved out and around slightly like an English gentleman. Only he remained frozen halfway into the bow. A gesture I understood well. I hopped onto Piccolo's forearm like a seat. My weight didn't displace his arm at all. He straightened and drew me close to his chest, settling his other hand on my shoulder to hold me in place. I fit my head perfectly into the little spot under his chin and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Just means you have a heart is all," his soft voice rumbled directly into my ear. "Anybody can cry over a friend, but it takes someone with a big heart to feel bad for an enemy. Don't know many people like that anymore, 'xcept maybe Goku."
My heart felt warm and swollen. Piccolo always did know exactly what to say to make me feel better. God, I love him so much. Not just for his sexy looks and amazing body...no, I know there's more to him than that. He's charming at times, confident, capable of great wisecracks, quiet, gentle, a good listener...things you don't see unless you really know him inside and out.
I think Piccolo would kill me if he knew I just said that about him. He likes to keep up his badass image. Do me a favor and just humor him, okay?
I stole a candy cane out from under his shirt. It did smell funny...like plastic covered in Namek sweat. Dusty. I unwrapped it and shoved the long end into my mouth. Then I turned it around and aimed it at Piccolo's lips. "If you say I look like him too, you're in trouble."
Piccolo stuck his tongue out, sloooooowly licked up the entire side of the candy cane, then took the tip into his mouth and slurped it in up to the crook. Did he realize what kind of innuendo he just tossed out? "Wouldn't change a thing even if you did...eh, this's minty." He pulled it out and I put it right back into my own mouth to finish it off.
I yawned three times in a row. The corners of my eyes were damp with sleep goop. "Mmh...tired..."
"Feh." Piccolo tapped the side of his pointy nose and we were suddenly in my room. I wriggled out of all but my red T-shirt and a thin pair of sweat pants, throwing the extras on the floor by the wall. The trip exhausted me so much I barely managed to climb into bed.
"Admit it, Piccolo, that was fun."
In the dim light I saw his boyish lips quirk. His hat looked more black than red. So out of place on his green head, yet the look worked with the curve of his face. "Slightly. Could've done without the sleigh ride, but the presents were fun. There, happy?"
"Mmhmm."
"Good," said Piccolo. His eyes arched. "Now hurry up and go to sleep so I can dump these presents under your tree and get rid of this ridiculous hat."
"Yes, Santa Piccolo." I giggled at his sarcasm. "Heh, you're funny. But I wish I'd known I'd see you tonight. I would've gotten you a present."
"It's fine. What we did was...it was better than getting gifts." Piccolo put the sack down and rested his hands on either side of my bed, denting the mattress. His dusty desert scent swirled around me. "Feh, I'm going disgustingly soft." I felt the telltale tremble as he leaned down nose to nose. He smirked in the darkness. Even in the low light his gorgeous eyes were highly visible. "Well," his warm breath tickled my face. "Merry Christmas, I guess."
I didn't smell any signs of cookies or milk on him. He didn't suck on the candy cane long enough to mask his naturally pine-scented breath. So, kids, if you wake up and discover your cookies and milk still there, it means Piccolo visited your house. No worries...Santa still loves you.
"Merry Christmas, Piccolo. I love you." I cupped his warm cheek in my palm and picked my head up a scant inch to catch his mouth. Piccolo closed his eyes and puckered up for me. It was a quick, sweet little peppermint kiss. No words were needed...his response said it all. He chuckled afterwards and sat down on the edge of the bed, petting my head with his large hand. No sign of the night's chill remained on his fingertips.
I cuddled up against his warm, muscular thigh and drifted off to sleep.
o
A hand grabbed my foot through the sheets and jiggled it, followed by my dad's quiet voice from far off, "C'mon, grandma-face. Time to wake up. It's Christmas."
"Mmh..." I opened my bleary eyes and yawned groggily. Being woken up out of a dead sleep was a surefire way to leave me dazed and confused for a few minutes. I managed to focus on my dad's face. "Morning...can't believe I put you through this at six in the morning every year as a kid."
"Revenge is sweet. But it's eight-thirty. I let you sleep in an extra half hour, but you'll have to hustle if you want to be ready for church." I felt the wiry tickle of my dad's gray-peppered beard as he gave me a peck on the forehead. "C'mon now."
Gah, church. Though I do love going and singing, I hate singing the morning after Midnight Mass. My voice is always tired, I'm always out of energy and I spend the entire day feeling like I have a hangover. It really saps the fun out of it. I hate to complain, but...after I open my presents I'm pretty much wasted for the day. I must be getting old. Where's my prunes?
Dad left the room. When the door opened, I heard Mannheim Steamroller's Carol of the Bells playing in the living room. Where did I hear that last night? I rubbed my eyes and tried to recall the events of - oh yeah! Santa! People, especially children, all over this side of the world had most likely awakened to find their presents all where they belonged. My mind formed a perfect image of smiling faces, cheering, families laughing and children playing.
Smiling myself, I turned my head to the wall, but Piccolo wasn't there. The clothes I'd thrown down had been cleaned up. Damn.
I rolled onto my right side. It always plugs half my nose shut so I can't doze back off. If I just leap out of bed while I'm still half asleep, I get dizzy. Easier to just lay there until my eyes open fully.
Must've really been tossing and turning, my pillow was all lumpy. Don't you hate it when that happens? I couldn't flatten it, so I reached underneath to see if the second pillow was the culprit. My fingers closed around something papery. What the hell? I clutched the object and pulled it out.
I found myself holding a ball of bright green wrapping paper. An unsigned note dangled from the red bow tied around the top. The wording and endearingly sloppy handwriting were a dead giveaway as to who wrote it. It said:
I leave this with you in honor
of this silly,
sentimental
holiday you're so intent on
celebrating.
You'll smile.
Merry Christmas.
How sweet!
I set the note down, unraveled the paper and found a single, solitary, all-by-its-lonesome Hershey kiss. And instantly grinned from ear to ear.
It was sitting inside my ring.
o
Believe in what
your heart is saying,
Hear
the melody that's playing.
There's
no time to waste,
There
so much to celebrate.
When
it seems that we have lost our way
We
find ourselves again on Christmas Day...
