Chapter Four: Kill Mog, Part Volume

Cid revved up the Highwind. It's been a while. Barret was playing a Game boy. This would help in the long run because Barret fucking sucks at handheld video games (for obvious reasons, I mean, one of his arms is a fucking gun) so playing them makes him angry. Red XIII was merely taking a nap.

The one getting into the idea the most was, of course, Cloud. He was currently listening to the radio station 66.6 The Devil, "the only true source of Metal." Although he was drifting into a slight madness, Cloud also felt happy. The Mog promised to have lots of fucking money.

To truly make everyone except Cid mad, the Highwind took off full speed with no warning. Everyone (except Cid) was thrown violently across the room and into the back wall. A sign overhead blinked on reading "In transit: Sit the fuck down." Cloud was knocked out cold while the other three were able to stand after a minute or so. Barret kicked Cloud right in the ass but the only was result was this: a mumbling about "ass-bashing faggots", rolling over, and covering his head with an arm.

He woke up an hour or so later, just in time for the action.

Anti-air artillery was launched at the Highwind. Cid managed to deflect them using his belt. Afterwards, he dropped Barret, Vincent,Cloud, and Red XIII out of the Highwind. The only problem was that they went out a little late and landed on the outside of the castle. Barret had figured this would happen and had a satchel charge with him to counter-act this error.

In no time, soldiers from on the wall started shooting. Barret returned fire with his gun-arm, currently an extremely high rate-of-fire gatling gun.

"Cloud! Grab my satchel!"
"Rub your asshole? You fucking faggot!"

"GRAB MY SATCHEL!"

"Shit, man. Speak the fuck up!" Cloud grabbed the satchel when Barret started to take aim at him. He ran at the gate and, yes, he held the bomb over his head as a shield. He's not the brightest hero in the mix, alright? After putting it down and running back Red head-butted him in the nuts and then went over to activate the timer on their little doorbell.

After the explosion Cid jogged up and got more than a few odd stares.

"What? I hitched a ride." They looked back to see an ice cream truck with a clown head on the top driving away.

"Who was it?"

"No idea. He said he was going to Midtown to do what he does best, I think he meant Midgar."

"Let's just go."

Barret and Vincent were to secure the outside and catch anyone running out, Cloud was going up top to get The Mog, Cid was going to the basement and Red XIII was taking the main floor out. Pretty simple plan, actually. If you dumb it down it's essentially them going in and killing whoever they find. Sounds good.

Cid, Cloud and Red all ran inside and got to killin'. Cloud was leaping around and stabbing and slashing, whilst Cid was owning the people dumb enough to get in his way. A giant lance will hurt you. Red was taking out the gun turrets and fortified spots with fire magic. To say the least, it looked very badass. In under a minute they had cleaned house (well, the lobby) and were ready to rock their respective areas. Then it happened. He entered the room.

"Oh...oh SHIT!" Cid screamed. The monster was unlike anything they'd ever faced before. It had glowing green-yellow eyes and fur that was black as night. Each step forward that it took showed its muscles with a rippling grace. Its tail flicked left and right as if it were using it to pick which one it would kill first. Cloud refused to believe what he was seeing. Using the Sense materia in his sword he searched the true abilities of this apocalyptic demon. Cloud's heart shrunk and folded in half as the breath was taken from him. There was no way a kitty could have this much power. Granted, it was a strangely large kitty; but it was still a fucking cat. It purred with Dark Rage.

The three heroes stood back and silently tried to gather their thoughts. However, their composure was wrecked just as it was almost regained: the Grim Kitty had rolled over onto his back and meowed softly. Sheer unchecked terror gripped each of their hearts and souls.

But Red XIII knew exactly what he had to do. He was a hero, after all. He didn't want to do this, but he knew he had no fucking choice. It was in the book.

"You guys go on without me. I'll take care of him."

"Right behind...wait. What?"

"Just go!" Red screamed. Cid shook his head and Cloud started to run at the elevator until he noticed that Cid wasn't following him. He strolled back over and then took a tough-guy pose next to Red.

"Cloud." Cid whispered over to him.

"What?" He asked back.

"Let's get the fuck out of here."

"I'm going after The Mog, man." Cloud insisted.

"Well then fuck, I'm going to the lowest floor possible. The Mog is at the top isn't he?"

"Yeah."

"Then let's hit that elevator."

A nod, they ran for it.

"Boom head shot!" Barret screamed. He was enjoying picking off any of the guards running out of the building.

"Boom head shot!" He screamed again. You could hear his smile through his voice.

"BOOM HEAD SHOT YEAH!" Barret whipped to his left. Who was there? No one other than Vincent.

"Vincent? What the fuck are you doin' here?"

"I've been here the whole time."

"Shit...really?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't notice you..."

"Ok then."

Back inside Red XIII and the Grim Kitty were seconds away from doing battle. They were circling each other slowly, looking for an opening. Trying to move as quickly as possible, Red dashed in for a swipe at the little kitty's neck. He struck nothing and looked down to see the kitty holding onto his leg. Grim Kitty took a bite.

"NYEARGH!" Red tried to scream out the pain. He head-butted the creature away from him. There was no more time to mess around. Red summoned Odin.

"Mwahahaha-...Oh fuck no!" Odin screamed and then went right back through the portal he came in from. It was obvious that even summon creatures shit their pants at the sight of this black devil. The black devil's eyes began to glow as it purred quietly. A blast of green energy emerged from its evil eyes and plowed Red back into a wall. Grim Kitty rolled over after a few seconds when the rubble didn't move.

Cloud was busy upstairs. A host of guards were attempting to stop him. They were armed with all sorts of weapons, but none had guns for some odd reason. Cloud kicked to the right and knocked one over then readied sword up high and swung down heavily on the guard in front of him, who was armed with a short sword in each hand. The guard himself was a little short and he leapt out of the way. The blond-haired hero did a spinning slice that went around the whole 360 degrees he wanted it to. The short guard and the recently re-engaged guard who'd been kicked were both killed by the slice.

The room Cloud was in was a large chamber, with a wide set of steps far across from him. A practical wall of guards came charging down the stairs, all screaming "FOR THE MOG!" Cloud hurled a large blast of fire at them, taking out almost all of them except for a few lucky ones on the side and one who'd fallen and rolled down the stairs. The hero then charged at the three guards who'd converged into a close group intent on slicing him up into a heroic dish of DEAD.

It appeared as though there might not be any brain in the leading guard of The Triangle, as he didn't even have any way to defend himself. Rather than do something fancy, Cloud merely thrust forward at the guard. When the guard attempted to stop he ended up doing the impossible and landing right on the blade. No longer having the use of a heart and not having a brain in the first place, the guard was dead. Really dead. The remaining two guards had slightly different weaponry. The first had dual crowbars and the other had what appeared to be a bouncy ball with a string attached to it.

Swish, fucker!
"GAH! My fucking eye! Oh! Lord of the flies that HURT!" Cloud screamed. That bouncy ball was a force to be reckoned with. He hunched over and held his eye growling obscenities mixed with threats. That is, until he got nailed in the head with a crowbar. Then he just kinda fell over.

When Cid entered the basement room he was slightly surprised as to what it looked like: a nice place to sit down. Wasn't this supposed to be security? Some dude in a black fag-outfit walked out. He was wearing shades. He probably thought it made him look cool. In reality, he just looked gay. Fucking gay.

"I'm The One." He breathed.

"What's that? You're a faggot? You want me to kill you? Psh, whatever you say." Cid brandished his spear. The One, as he called himself, ran over to a pole that was there for really no specific reason. After yanking on it a few dozen times he finally pulled it out of the ground. He did a few flashy moves and then held his hand out and folded it in and out, beckoning his opponent to just go and beat the shit out of him. Cid didn't mind.

With an uncontrolled scream of concentration Cid charged The One. Their staves clashed and recoiled, Cid was the quicker one to recover, so he swung and smacked The One in The Side. Being the bitch that he is, The One jabbed Cid in the foot with his pole.

"Gah! You girl!" Cid screamed. So he returned the favor, except his spear was, well, a spear. So it really hurt The One.

"Urgh! Son of a bitch!" He hopped backwards and then shakily put his foot down. This fight was going to suck. Cid began thrusting extremely rapidly at The One, who moved with ridiculous speed and dodged all of the shots. After a stab that would've hit The One in the shoulder if he hadn't bent forward and to the side the girly man in black swung his pole around and almost knocked Cid's spear out of his hand. Capitalizing on this unexpected advantage, he jousted with Cid's sternum. Cid flew. Cid flew far.

The Grim Kitty stood back up when Red XIII regained consciousness. Haze was what most of Red's vision consisted of. Though most people would say his vision would impaired at this point, this was the moment in which Red saw what the Grim Kitty truly was.

"You!...You're the one that...back when..." Red was too terrified to finish. The Grim Kitty nodded and began to walk towards him. A cowardice that anyone would experience in this situation told Red to run like hell, but the rest of him was frozen. Kitty stopped in front of him, raised his arm like a sword, and brought it down on him.

Barret and Vincent had gotten slightly bored and were about to just start blowing shit up for fun when a black blur flew out of the building and leapt over the wall, then took off again at super-sonic speeds. Things didn't look so hot anymore, and they left the wall to get inside. Upon getting into the lobby they grinned momentarily at all the dead guards, and then saw something that wiped that grin right off: Red's motionless body sticking out of a hole in the wall. What was the most worrisome was that Red's tail had no flame at the end. They ran up to him. They looked away quickly.

Red XIII was undoubtedly very dead.

When you're discovered beaten and headless, that's usually the verdict.

Cloud was kicked onto his back. As he tried to sit up, the bouncy ball began its orbit around the user, gradually picking up speed. Cloud was whacked in the nuts with said bouncy ball. He rolled over and decided to get pissed. The spiky-haired hero leapt to his feet (awkwardly) and dealt a slash of pain: he cut off the crowbar-wielders hands. After this he kept up the pain and cut the string in half, leaving the bouncy ball immobile and defenseless. Payback was going to be sweet.

A few minutes later, Cloud was covered in the blood andinnards of the bouncy ball. Its screams had been music to his ears. When he turned around he saw the guy who'd been using the bouncy ball had barfed his guts out. Literally. He was fucking dead.

Cid had kept hold of his lance, even though the pain was pretty bad and he was having a heartily hard time breathing. Once he stood up he saw The One was fucking flying at him. Cid dropped to his knees and stabbed straight up, catching him in the stomach. He dropped him on the ground.

"I'm gonna kill you now, you pain in the ass." Cid said, rubbing his sternum.

"But...I'm The One! Doesn't that mean anything to you!" He sobbed.

Stab!

"...Queer." Cid mumbled as he walked away. The One was left with a hole in his head, and it wasn't his mouth; that had sealed up after he died. Weird, right?

The idiot behind The Mog's security system was stumbling away from his master. It was obvious that The Mog would not tolerate his failure. His grin chilled him to the bone. The Mog stopped in front of him, still grinning, still furious.

"Please...don't kill me..." The victim breathed. The Mog shook his head slowly.

"No! NO!"

Crunch! Smush! Crush! Crash! Fucking SMACK!

Cloud walked into the throne room of The Mog. He merely sat in his chair, staring at his executioner. A tear rolled from his eye, and he grinned for mercy. He begged. With his grin. "Mercy!" The grin seemed to cry. Cloud ignored him. He'd been racked by this faggot's little henchman, and nobody whacks Cloud's nuts...and lives.

"Any last words, you fat little fuck?" Cloud asked, holding his sword tip against The Mog's throat. The Mog nodded.

"...Well?"

The Mog grinned.

"DIE!" Cloud screamed, and cut his head right the fuck off. Even in death, The Mog still grinned. He grinned real big.

What a prick.

A/N: So that wraps up the Mog Saga. If I'm bored I'll continue this, and I'm probably gonna get bored.So you can expect another chapter sometime. Eventually...maybe.