Disclaimer: This story is really, really screwed up. First attempt at an M-rated Mario story, and if all goes well then not the last (actually, it won't be the last anyway because of the forthcoming story "I, Mario" which has elements of murder and rape but...). The plot is simple: Mario helps Daisy's kingdom out when it is attacked by Tatanga, and Daisy goes a bit overboard when thanking him. Then Bowser finds out... I got the idea for this story from a Toby Keith song. Do. Not. Ask.

What Happens in Sarasaland...

Tatanga runs in at Mario, thrusting his fist at the plumber. Mario rolls out of the way of the alien brute's attack and scores with a powerful kick in the gut on the invader. As Tatanga holds his stomach in pain, Mario bounces to his feet and uppercuts his foe into the air. The two are doing battle in the town of Scurvonia in Daisy's kingdom of Sarasaland, and Princess Daisy watches from a few feet away, having been untied by Mario just before Tatanga's attack.

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"Ah, come on King Dad!" Iggy moans as he, his siblings, and their father walk into their room in the Chilton Hotel in Scurvonia, Sarasaland. Ludwig, Morton, and Roy are of course carrying the luggage. "Why did we come to Sarasaland anyway?"

"Simple, Iggy. We're here because I heard from the grapevine that there's oil just outside of town, and I want to get me a slice of the profits!" Bowser answers in a somewhat ecstatic tone- a very rare moment for him.

"But King Dad," the genius of the family, Ludwig Von Koopa, points out, "If we came here to drill for oil, shouldn't we have brought, you know, equipment?"

"ARGH! Guess I'll have to go call Kamek and tell him to run us a drill."

"No need," Ludwig responds as he looks out the nearest window and sees Mario jumping out of the way of another of the infuriated Tatanga's fists. "Somehow I doubt we'll have the time."

Bowser looks outside with his oldest son and groans, "Does that stupid plumber stalk me or something?" He turns back to his other children and sighs, "Well, I guess we'll just have a vacation then." All 7 Koopalings cheer excitedly, partially out of getting out of another of Bowser's get-rich-quick schemes, and partly out of avoiding the idea of fighting Mario once more; after all, you can only get your ass by a guy kicked so many times before it gets old. Ludwig turns away from the window and promptly jumps onto the nearest of the 4 beds, with the Koopalings all rushing out to claim a bed before being stuck in the floor.

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Tatanga stops and begins to pant, exhausted from attempting to keep up with the plumber known as Mario. Taking advantage of Tatanga's pause, Mario leaps and hits an extremely powerful kick right in the center of the invader's face, knocking him out cold.

"Mario, you did it!" Daisy shouts as she rushes up to the plumber and, forgetting herself for a moment, embraces the plumber in a moment of both gratitude and excitement. Embarrassed upon realizing what she;s done, she lets go and blushes. "So, heh heh, why didn't Luigi come instead?"

Mario replies in just as embarrassing a tone, "He was busy helping out Professor Gadd with something or other. He wasn't home, so I came to help out."

"You don't say..." Daisy turns around, facing away from the plumber, "Well, if there's any way I can think you..."

"Well I-"

"Let's get a room at the Chilton!" Daisy blurts out, then covers her mouth, having one of those moments in which she fills like she could just die.

"B- but what ab- bout Peach and Luigi?"

Daisy, still with her face as red as an infuriated Wiggler, thinks for a second about what she's been saying before answering.

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That night, Bowser lay in one of the bed's with a pillow pressed over his head, trying to drown out the lively sounds coming from the room next door.

"Oh all the luck..." Bowser mutters to himself as he eventually gets tired of trying to ignore the noise being caused by the tenants next door and stands up to go dish out a few threats and possibly fry someone. "Ludwig, Lemmy, Roy," Bowser says to his three oldest sons, "You're comin' with me to guard the door."

The four leave the room and walk next door. Bowser opens it and slips inside (well, as much of 'slipping' as a guy his size can do, anyway) and gasps loudly in both delight and disgust at what he sees in the room inside. The three children outside rush inside, and all look absolutely shocked at what they see.

"I may have missed the oil, but I got myself one hell of a consolation prize," Bowser laughs as his kids still look stupefied at the site of Daisy (luckily for the sake of their eyes, Daisy's on top). Bowser turns to Ludwig and says, "Hand me your camera."

Ludwig simply mumbles, "Uh huh," and pulls it out of his shell before handing it over, all while continuing to stare, tongue hanging out. Both Daisy and Mario look absolutely terrified about the fact that they've been found out, and that Bowser's oldest son happens to carry around a camera in his shell as well. Bowser takes a quick picture of both Mario and Daisy, then goes ahead and takes three or four of just the princess.

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"So let me get this straight," Daisy, who has a towel wrapped around her (much to the disappointment of all involved except Wendy, who obviously doesn't care and really prefers it that way because she thinks that it otherwise takes attention off of her and onto Daisy) starts to Bowser in his family's hotel room a few minutes later, "You'll keep quiet about this if we do what you ask, right?"

"Exactly," Bowser answers, "and first of all, you must send a commission to get me that oil outside of this town while Mario has to go conquer my stupid brother's kingdom for me."

Mario, who is wearing his normal outfit (takes a lot less time to put on overalls than it does a dress, after all), responds, "Alright. So, Daisy gets you the oil and I take Subcon from Wart. Is that it?"

"Well, I have some other things planned, but that's the main part of it," Bowser answers sinisterly.