I'd like to thank my reviewers. They make me feel warm and fuzzy. I'll admit it is really strange, but that's half the fun! Anyway for your reading enjoyment: Chapter Two! Applause
Chapter Two
Man I Love Bread
The trio was in the boys dormitory huddled around the mirror attempting to discuss their plans.
"Whatcha doin'?"
"Go away Neville."
"What are you doing?"
"Go away Seamus."
"What's up?"
"Go away Dean."
"What's that?"
"GO AWAY NEVILLE!"
"Maybe we should go somewhere more private." Harry suggested envisioning a daring night of slinking around the castle, dodging teachers, and humming espionage themed music.
"That's the first sensible thing anyone's said all night." said Ron exasperatedly, not knowing what Harry had in mind.
Hermione looked affronted. "Well then shouldn't I have said it?"
"Oye," Ron slapped his forehead "let's go to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom."
"Please let's not go there, Ron." Harry pleaded. "She has the hots for me, I know it!"
Ron and Hermione exchanged glances, took Harry by the elbows, and threw the invisibility cloak over themselves. They then proceeded to drag a protesting Harry to the bathroom.
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In a small Italian restaurant in Hogsmeade the evil overlord and the fiery redhead were inhaling breadsticks as fast as the waiter could bring them to the table.
"Man I love bread!" Tom said through a mouthful of the stuff.
"So do I! I've never met anyone who loves bread as much as I do!" Ginny ripped off a hunk and popped it into her mouth with apparent relish.
"This is the best date I've ever been on!" They both sighed, spitting crumbs everywhere.
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Tired and out of breath from having to drag an unwilling Harry, Hermione and Ron fell through the door of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
The trio was taken off guard by a ringing "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" They leapt to their feet and came face to face with none other than Draco Malfoy.
"What are you doing here?" everyone yelled at the same time.
Draco was sitting on the tank of a toilet with his quill poised over a small leather-bound book. He quickly hid the book behind his back. The platinum blonde tried to stand up on the toilet seat but lost his balance and fell in. He then proceeded to hop around cursing a blue streak.
"#&$! toilet! Got my #$!&ing shoes wet! Gonna !$&# the ?#!&ing thing!"
Ron covered Hermione's ears, Hermione covered Ron's ears, and Harry took out a notebook and started taking notes.
Hermione was the first to recover from this unexpected onslaught. She walked over to the still hopping and cursing Malfoy, kicked him in the shin, and unceremoniously stuffed a bar of soap in his mouth.
Malfoy continued to hop but did so silently, now holding a throbbing shin. Hermione gave a satisfied nod and addressed the Slytherin, "Why don't you get out and forget this ever happened. That way we won't tell anyone that you have a diary and hang out in a haunted bathroom, and you won't tell anyone we were out after hours." Bubbles dripping from his lips, Malfoy nodded piteously and hopped to the door. As way of a parting shot Hermione called after him, "By the way, that leather jacket looks horrible with your uniform!"
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Back at the restaurant, Tom was showing Ginny the finer points of hitting people with bread balls.
"Ok see, first you squish the bread into a little ball. Then, you load it on to your spoon, like so. Now, aim it at an unsuspecting victim, that chrome dome over there looks fine, and FIRE! Ha Ha, it hit him right in the back of the head! Ok, now look casual. You wanna try?"
"Sure Tom I'd love to!" Ginny prepared the ammunition, loaded the utensil, and fired her missile at a woman with a low necked shirt on.
"Yes! It went right down her shirt! Serves her right for degrading the female gender like that!" Ginny celebrated while trying to look casual.
"I like your style, Ginny." Tom said with a slightly evil smile. Ginny blushed and gave her own slightly evil smile.
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In the bathroom Harry, Ron, and Hermione were having a so called "pow-wow" on what to do about the so called "Ginnymort problem". Unfortunately their so called "peace pipes" kept setting off the smoke alarm and every time a teacher came in, they had to dive under the invisibility cloak. Finally Harry just decided to call Voldemort using the mirror.
"Man, he's taking forever to pick up…Ok…here we go. Hi Voldemort!"
"How did you get this mirror?" Voldemort asked venomously when he saw who was calling.
"Ginny left it." Harry heard the sound of someone smacking her forehead.
"Just hang up you fool! You're ruining our date!"
"Temper, temper Mister Moldy Shorts." Harry taunted.
"Your death will be slow and painful for that one, Potter." The Dark Lord hissed
"Aww, you don't love me no more?" Harry heaved a sob while trying not to laugh.
Voldemort was becoming more and more agitated by the giggles coming from the mirror, so he tossed it up in the air and shot the mirror with a spell, shattering it into hundreds of pieces and raining on the heads of unsuspecting diners. Everyone in the restaurant turned to look at the evil wizard.
"Sorry, telemarketer." Tom said sheepishly. Everyone nodded and went back to whatever they were doing.
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"Well that didn't work." Harry said looking at the now reflective mirror.