Author's Note: Well this is a pretty vague fiction. Going through Abby's and Carter's feelings. Hopefully it will become a Carby. I wish they would bring Carby back. The song is Something to Sleep to by Michelle Branch. If you listen to it, then it will have a deeper meaning.
There were times when both of them wanted to leave. It was truly clear why. After Kem and Carter lost the baby, they went into a downward spiral. Abby's love for Carter made her lose everything she really knew. Then he left with her, for her. With no sign. No notion that he was leaving. There was no real goodbye. For their whole past, for anything really. He must have thought it would have been easier. It hit her hard. So hard that she didn't even feel the deep wound he left her to heal. She wanted to go after him. But didn't. Nothing made sense anymore. Her heart died that day and no one could really revive it. Except him.She's his yellow brick road
Leading him on
And letting him go so far
As she lets him go
Going down to nowhere
It was two years ago that she was his walkway and life-line. His yellow brick road. She didn't lead him on, it was just fate that broke him. That broke her. Them. She never wanted him to leave the first time or second time. Two years since the smallpox scare, two years since they would just sit by the river and talk while enjoying their coffee. Two years since things were okay. Things were going to be okay. Or so he told her. Or so she hoped.
She puts on her make-upThe same way she did yesterday
Hoping everything's the same
But everything has changed
Abby was going to be late for her shift if she didn't hurry. She quickly placed her make-up on wishing that Carter would just come from behind her and say that she looked beautiful. It was sad how most of the time she had to make herself look pretty just so other men could have a second look at her and think that she was beautiful on the outside. But with Carter, it didn't matter. If she were to walk out on the street in a t-shirt and jeans without any make-up, he would tell her she was the most gorgeous woman on the planet. Everyday she just wants to be at County as nurse manager and see and feel Carter there. Just be able to feel his love even when he was running a trauma, by just gazing at her, she could sense his love for her.
In my mindEverything we did was right
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side
How could I ever been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to at night
Carter and Abby made mistakes and let their pain-staking fears take over their pure and true love, they loved each other. It was just that simple. But it made things so complicated. It didn't matter if Carter never heard 'I love you' from Abby. He could just sense it from her gaze, the playful banter, how she kisses him and how she smiles when she sees him. They were right for each other. Two halves of a whole.
Carter lay in bed at night thinking of Abby. His father told him to let go. Just forgive what Eric did at his grandmother's funeral. Just forgive Abby. Take her love and return it with his love. He wishes that he would wake up and feel her in his arms. See Abby sleeping so peacefully. See her smile as he would pull her closer to him. Just be there to watch her. Be with her. That was all really he wanted. He was just blind. Blinded by the pain and fear of losing her and losing himself.
Abby just finished her extremely long shift. She lay on her side, staring at were Carter used to sleep. Where he used to pull her close to him. Somehow it used to bother her about how he would always pull her to his side of the bed instead of in the center. It didn't really matter because she was loved by him. Held by him. Just there with him. The mistakes they had made changed their lives. Probably caused more pain than if they just talked to each other. She couldn't see clearly. Now, years later she can. She sees that all she wants is to be with him.
He wakes up to the soundSo scared that she's leaving
He wishes she were still
Asleep next to him
Hoping she would change
The sound of Kem leaving the bungalow awoke Carter. She left to finish her shift so she could spend so time with him. It was odd how with Kem, Carter felt a special affection but with Abby it was chaotic love. A love so chaotic, complicated and scary, he left and let go of everything. All Carter wants is to wake up in Chicago and feel Abby there. He wished that she would change to something that wouldn't make him feel so… scared. Scared that she might have enough fear and courage to leave him. He feels so stupid… like such an idiot to leave the first time. And the letter that he sent. He felt the hot tears rolling down. Things were okay then… he said they were. He also said that he wasn't going anywhere but he did. Their relationship turned out to be filled with complicated love and broken promises. She is better off. Without him to lie to her and make her feel the pain that no one should ever feel.
In my mindEverything we did was right
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side
How could I ever been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to at night
At this point, there was no turning back. It hurt to say those words. It hurt to know that. It just hurt.
You give me something to sleep toAnd all I know is
You give me something to dream to when
I'm all alone and blue
Don't leave me now
Don't leave me now
They both awoke at the same time, sharing the same dream. Miles, oceans, continents apart. They would never know that they felt the same. The dream was them together talking at the beach, their first kiss, what could have been. The dream eased them out of their restless minds. They only needed to talk to each other, see each other's face and hold each other. When they're alone, they day-dreamed the same and when staring up at the stars, they wished the same.
In my mindEverything we did was right
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side
How could I have been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to
Something to sleep to
Something to sleep to at night
The only reason John Carter and Abby Lockhart sleep when they're minds are restless and thinking of each is that they might wake up next to each other. They might wake up and see that this reality was just a horrifying nightmare. The small glimmer of hope that when they wake up, they kiss and know that things are going to be okay.
I hope you enjoyed that. If I get enough reviews (I only want to know that people are reading. If they don't then I'm just typing the story for no reason.) then I'll continue. It'll be a Carby. Please review. It's pretty repetitive and I use 'just' a lot. I just (no intentions) want to point out how simple they're feelings and fears are.
--Carby Supporter--chelseagrey