Well, this story just came out of nowhere. I wasn't even planning on writing an x-men story or anything like that, but this came out notheless. I thought I'd put it up anyway to see if anyone likes it, though I'll probably keep writing it anyway even if no one does. Any suggestions you have for me, if something seems wrong please let me know so I can correct it. I haven't seen the movies in forever and I'm going off of memory. This is from Rogue's pov.

CHAPTER 1

Plain and straight I miss him. A lot. I'd survived the closest I'd ever been to death, because of him, and then he'd left. He'd said he was going to look for answers to his past. Things about himself he wanted to know. It's selfish of me, but I don't really care. I wanted him here, with me.

Things have gone okay since he left. Everyone here is nice and I get along with them. I take the classes I'm supposed too, do training with everyone else, and have private lessons to control my powers with Professor Xavier. He says he can't say for sure if I'll ever get my powers under control, but that he's going to try his best to help. Everyone here is all about trying and never giving up. Maybe I should start to think like them, maybe then the next time he wants to leave I won't give up trying to make him stay.

I'm sitting upstairs in my room on a small window seat by the window with the door pulled shut. Away from everyone else. I still use the name, Rogue. Rogue fits me. A lot of the time I am a rogue. Up here alone, away from everyone else. I don't mind them; I just don't want to be around them all the time. Besides I don't want to have them call me by my real name. No one since he has.

Bobby will probably come up to see me soon. If not, he'll send someone like Kitty up. He doesn't like it when I go off all alone for long periods of time. He likes to see me active and doing something with everyone else. He doesn't like to see me off brooding, alone in my own little world, because I think he knows he's not included in it. And someone else is.

He's good to me, though. Especially about the whole not being able to touch thing. You'd think he'd have left me for some other girl by now. For some girl he can actually kiss when he wants too. We can hold hands, but it's not the same when you can't feel the other person's skin against your own. Nothings the same when you can't touch anyone.

At times it hurts worse than other times. I wish I could cry, but the tears won't even come. I'm always stuck under these clothes, unable to touch anything besides things that are cold and dead. Lifeless things, not anything living. I crave to be able to touch, but no matter how much I want to, I know I can't. I know what will happen if I do. And it's not worth it. Even to be able to feel the warmness of someone else's skin.

The knock on the door behind me has my head turning slightly. I don't answer though. Waiting for them to speak. "Hey, Rogue, it's me Kitty. We're about to make some popcorn and watch a movie downstairs. You want to come?"

Did I want to go down there? Not really. I wanted to stay up here where I could be alone and think. But I knew they got worried when I did that, and despite what I wanted to do, I didn't want them to worry about me.

"Sure, Kitty. I'll be down soon. Go ahead and start the movie."

"Alright, see you down stairs." I could hear Kitty's movements as she went down the hall.

I say I told you to, to myself. I knew Bobby would ask her to come up soon. Sometimes I wonder why I'm with him. I like him enough, but it's more like a friendship feeling towards him. It's not love. I've never felt that. Not even for the boyfriend I'd had back when my powers emerged while I was kissing him and knocked him out. He'd been in a coma for three straight weeks.

I'd felt horror at what'd I'd done, but not because I'd been in love with him. In fact it had been more horror at what I was and what I was capable of doing. He'd meant something to me, but he hadn't meant much more than that. He was almost insignificant now. If it wasn't for the part of him that was now stuck in my head from when I'd touched him he would be almost nothing inside my head. A passing memory from a life that now seemed ages away.

There were a couple of people in my head now. My first boyfriend, the one I'd put in a coma, and Magneto was up there as well. I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself just thinking about Magneto.

Magneto was the sick twisted guy who'd been responsible for my almost death. And he'd tried to make me responsible for the death of other innocent people. I didn't really care about the innocent people as they'd been gathering to discuss what they called the "Mutant Problem" when it happened. As an x-man that was wrong of me. We were supposed to care about all people, even if they hated us, we were still supposed to protect them. I couldn't say that I was a great x-man though. Not like Jean. She cared about anyone, even if someone told her they hated her straight to her face, she'd still care. But I didn't want to think about her. I tried to stay away from Jean. In and out of my mind.

Magneto and my old boyfriend weren't the only ones in there. There was one other though. Another that I almost enjoyed having there. Because even though he was gone it meant I could keep a part of him close to me. The only part I had besides a chain I was wearing around my neck right now with his dog tags on it.

If I got technical I would have to say that he'd been my first brush with death, not Magneto like I'd said before. But that had been an accident. He hadn't really meant for it to happen, and it had been partly my fault. From the second his claws hard parted my skin and moved through my body like it was made of butter, I'd known I was going to die.

And the only thing I'd wanted to do before I did was to reach out and touch someone for the last time. Who would have known that by doing that I was able to use his powers to heal myself. In the process I'd almost killed him. So it seemed like we were square. He almost killed me. I almost killed him. But we both lived. Though I guess you could say we weren't even. Because we'd both used his powers to heal ourselves. I hadn't done anything for him.

It's already been a while since Kitty came up. I better go before they send someone else up to get me. I get up slowly and my feet drag as I walk downstairs. The TV is on and the movie is already starting. I don't know what's on. I don't even bother to check. Instead I walk into the room and look for a seat. Everyone notices my entrance into the room.

"Hey, Rogue, glad you could join us. Here's a seat right over here." It's Jean's voice that reaches my ears and I struggle not to wince. She's the last person I want to sit next too. I hope she doesn't use her powers to read my mind. I wouldn't want her to know what's in there.

I force a smile onto my face while I brush a piece of my white hair out of my face. "Thanks, but no thanks, Jean. I'll just take a seat next to, Bobby."

I move over to sit next to him. That's another good reason for having him for a boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with declining to sit next to someone else so that you're able to be next to him. Or to at least make everyone think I want to be next to him.

He gladly welcomes me next to him and I try to concentrate on the movie. All the while though I can't help but wish that someone else was here beside me.

Well, hope you think you didn't completely waste your time by reading this. Let me know how you thought it was. If you didn't like it please let me know why you didn't. Thanks for reading though.