Hello eveyone! I really hope this chapter is up to scratch; I'm starting to feel rather insecure about the quality of my work. That aside, I don't think this story will have too many more chapters. I'll miss it so! I can't think of anything else to say, so...

Chapter 13

Of Malfoy and Mopeds

Harry skidded to a halt at the spot where Ginny and Voldemort had stood moments before. He furiously pulled out his notebook and flipped a few pages.

"I'm gonna ?$&in' beat the $!&? out of that ?$&!in' &?$!&!$." Harry screamed at the top of his lungs.

Just as Harry was about to launch into another explicit tirade, Hermione elbowed him in the gut, causing him to double over in pain.

A grenade was suddenly thrown from the bushes. Fortunately, the pin was still in place.

"I swear, when will these people learn to use grenades?" Hermione implored the heavens.

Harry had picked up the grenade and was whirling it around his finger by the pin, when the grenade part disengaged from the pin part. The hand-held explosive landed a ways away and created a gaping crater that might, or more likely won't, affect the storyline.

"Oops."

Harry and Ron, forgetting completely the enormous explosion, yelled their battle cries and dived into the undergrowth. The two girls listened, horrified, to the sounds drifting from the shrubbery.

POW!

BASH!

"Woops! Didn't mean to do that!"

SOCK!

PINGGG!

Hermione began checking her watch, and Padme started filing her nails.

WAP!

"My bad!"

CRASH!

SPLAT!

"Eww! Eww! Eww!"

YOINK!

Padme was beginning to yawn, and Hermione had pulled out a hand mirror and was fixing her hair.

CRACK-POW!

DONG!

"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Reeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

FWOOOSH!

"Well that didn't work!"

BOING!

"That's it! I'm going in there!" Padme shouted and stepped toward the bushes.

"Hold on! Something's coming out!" Hermione stepped on the train of Padme's dress, causing the queen to fall face first into the dirt.

A dark lumpy shape rose up revealing itself to be…Ron and Harry holding up a battered figure who happened to be…Draco Malfoy.

"Ptoo! Ronny!" Padme spit the dirt out of her mouth and ran to hug Ron.

Hermione rushed to comfort Draco, but before she could reach him Harry and Ron had thrown him to the ground and were questioning the Slytherin.

"So. Where were you on the night of July 31?" Harry snapped

"What does that have to do with anything?" Draco asked woozily.

"It's my birthday." Harry scribbled "didn't remember my birthday" in his notebook.

"Let me take over for a while." said Ron, "Ok, Malfoy, why were you in those bushes; how much did you see?

Draco kept going cross-eyed, but he answered as best as he could. "I followed Hermione. I wanted to see where she was going. I hid in the bushes when I saw Ginny and that other guy apparate, then you people jumped me."

Harry hoisted Draco up by his collar. "Do you know where Voldemort's secret hide-out is?"

"I might, but then again, I might not." Draco tried to look down his nose at Harry, but only succeeded in going cross-eyed again.

"Out with it, rodent!" Harry shook Draco until he looked decidedly green.

"Harry, I'd watch out if I was you. Malfoy looks like he's gonna spew." Ron warned.

"That's S.P.E.W., Ron." Hermione shouted loudly.

"No, I mean, like, he'll toss his cookies, loose his lunch, barf, upchuck, hurl, blow chunks, chog, vomit, heave-"

"That's quite enough, Ronald; I see your point." Hermione interrupted dryly.

Harry was trying to jot down some notes in his notebook.

"Excuse me, but weren't you trying to interrogate me? Not that listing synonyms for vomiting isn't fascinating." Draco said coldly.

"Right, right. Ok, Malfoy you're gonna lead us to Voldemort's secret hide-out, or we'll show everyone these blackmail worthy, not photo-shopped, images of you kicking a fuzzy puppy!" Harry growled.

"How could you!" sobbed Padme, "It's so fuzzy!"

"Alright! I'll do it! Don't show the puppy!" Draco cringed.

"Good. Good!" Harry rubbed his hands together. Lightning cut jagged swathes across the sky as he laughed evilly.

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"Ow! Damn it! That's the fifth tree you've run me into, you sadist!" Draco whined.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Your Highness! Would you rather have Harry lead you?" Ron snarled.

"Nonononono! Thank you. I'm just lovely. You're doing a wonderful job. Really!" Draco sputtered.

Harry was stroking his wand and chuckling, so every now and then a lightning bolt raced across the sky. Draco shivered.

Ron was marching behind Draco with his wand trained to the Slytherin's back, and Draco's feet hanging uselessly six inches above the loamy forest floor. The two girls trudged somewhat sullenly after the boys. Padme was having a terrible time with her voluminous skirts getting caught on brambles and branches. She had fallen several times, getting leaves down the front of her dress; the queen's hair was also troubling her, so she whipped off her head piece and the pad that made it seem like she had even more hair than she really did. Then Padme pulled the knife out of her boot (can't be too careful) and cut away her skirts until they were only about to her knees. She looked really funny, but at least she was mobile.

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Finally, the quintet arrived at a crumbling tower deep in the heart of the Forbidden Forest. Ron released Draco, who fell to his knees. He looked left; he looked right. Draco sniffed the air, and then dashed through the dilapidated arch-way.

"So, this is Voldemort's hide-out?" Padme asked incredulously.

"No, this is just where I hide the mopeds." Draco said calmly, wheeling out several of the aforementioned vehicles.

Harry smacked his forehead, and Ron sighed deeply. Padme hopped onto a bright red moped, while Hermione chose a green one. Draco revved his silver machine as Harry and Ron grabbed their own mopeds; black and blue respectively.

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Five minutes later, the five were speeding down the highway on their brightly-hued mopeds.

"Doesn't anyone else think it's odd to have a highway in the middle of the Forbidden Forest?" Hermione queried.

They ignored her.

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At long last, the young people braked in front of a deserted McDonald's. Draco hopped off of his moped and walked to the dumpster. Dramatically, he kicked open one side and dived into the smelly, graffiti covered dumpster. The other four reluctantly followed.