Sob! Sob! This is it folks! The last chapter of Whats His Name
vs the World. I want to thank everyone, but especially zan189 for
being my BEST reviewer. Give it up for the waitress at the
japanese steakhouse! I'd also like to dedicate this story to
Mountain Dew, because without it I never would have been hyper enough
to think of most of this mess.
Last Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any McDonald's dumpsters, although, you know, I love hanging out in them.
Chapter Fourteen
The End of It All: How to Use That Grenade
Five people were crammed inside a disgusting McDonald's dumpster, trash juice soaking their shoes. Four of the five had expressions of revulsion mixed with rage, while the fifth stood calmly like he hung out in dumpsters for fun.
"Malfoy, what the !&?$ is going on here?" Harry growled dangerously.
"All the Death Eaters are required to go to certain spots, 'terminals' we call them, and wait for pick up." Draco said matter-of-factly.
"Why a filthy dumpster?" Padme asked weakly, clutching her stomach.
"This isn't actually a terminal; I just wanted to see if you were stupid enough to follow me into a dumpster." Draco smiled smugly.
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"I think he's out cold; maybe we shouldn't have rammed his head against the wall that last time." Hermione said while checking his pulse.
"He deserved it." Ron and Harry said together.
"Look, I'll just get Scotty to beam us there." Padme suggested.
"First can we make some outfit adjustments?" Harry said.
The four looked at each other, still in their costumes, and burst out laughing. Harry ripped his tube off, showing that all he had on underneath was his boxers. Ron had an undershirt and boxers under his bunny suit. Hermione left her costume on, (much to someone's disappointment) but spat out her vampire fangs and took off her pink wig. Padme had already fixed her costume, but she ripped off another strip of skirt to tie her hair back.
Feeling a bit more prepared, the quartet gathered together as Padme paged Scotty.
"Hello, Scotty; it's Padme. Can you do me a favor, and transport me and my friends to Voldemort's secret hideout? …Mmmhmm…yes…I think so…Oh about three hundred fifty degrees…Fahrenheit duh!...four fried chickens and a coke…And step on it!"
The party started to waver and thin, then rematerialize inside a large empty room.
Harry immediately took the lead, "Ok gang, let's split up! Ron, you and Padme go up those stairs, and Hermione and I will go through that hallway."
The two teams split up and ran.
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"Harry, is there something you aren't telling me?" Hermione panted as she and Harry jogged.
"Like what?" gasped Harry, confused.
"Are you a H/Hr shipper?"
"No! Hermione, I thought you knew I was a H/G shipper. That's why I'm going to all the trouble of rescuing the girl! Anyway, I thought you were a R/Hr shipper." Harry panted.
"Well, I was kinda going with Draco to make Ron jealous, but he really seems to like Padme. Maybe I'll just keep going after Draco." Hermione explained sadly.
Harry tried to pat her back in mid-jog.
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"Padme, don't you think we should've hit some traps by now? This is really making me nervous." Ron was whipping his head from side to side, trying to catch a whiff of danger.
"WeAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Padme screamed as she fell through a trap door.
"That answered that question." Ron dove through the hole after the queen.
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Harry and Hermione ran out a doorway and stopped abruptly. In front of them was a small ledge and after that a dizzying drop into a dark abyss. Before Hermione and Harry could turn around, the door shut behind them leaving the duo stranded on the ledge. Harry searched quickly and spotted an open doorway across the abyss and a few feet lower. He reached into his underwear and pulled out a grappling hook, which he spun around and threw across the chasm. The grappling hook twirled lazily in the air then caught on a pipe with a loud thunk.
Harry puffed his scrawny chest out and tried to look bold and adventurous "Ok, Hermione, you grab hold of me and I'll swing us across."
Hermione frowned worriedly, but still latched onto the boy. She gave him a peck on the cheek and said, "For luck."
"Now who's the H/Hr shipper!" Harry exclaimed.
"Geez, can't a girl show affection in a platonic relationshiWOAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Hermione yelped as Harry swung across and through to the lower doorway.
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"Uh Ronny? Could you please get offa me?" Padme voice was muffled by the sixteen year old on her head.
Ron hopped up and started dusting the queen off. "Sorry! Accident!"
"Ronny? Duck!" Padme screeched and pulled Ron back on top of her as Harry and Hermione flew by.
"We've really got to stop meeting like this." Ron said slyly.
Padme just pushed him off and went to see if the other two were alright.
Hermione was wrapped tightly around Harry's chest, with eyes as big as saucers. Harry was laughing triumphantly at his heroic exploit.
It took the combined efforts of Harry, Ron, and Padme to pry Hermione off; and she still shook uncontrollably as the four trotted down the hallway.
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Finally, the group reached a set of heavy steel doors with a large snake carved into them. Harry gathered his courage and flung open the doors.
"Oh Eww!" he shrieked, quite unmanly-like.
Ginny and Voldemort were curled up on the couch making out passionately. With a pop the two disengaged and stood to face their attackers.
"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Ginny's face was red for a number of different reasons and her hair was mussed.
"We're trying to rescue you!" Harry yelled.
"Well I don't want rescuing! I love Tom and he loves me." She looked doe eyed at the scourge of the wizarding world for a moment, then rounded on Harry again. "I'm staying and that's final!"
"Ok gang! Plan Alpha!" Harry lunged at Ginny and grabbed her hand, while Padme paged Scotty. Hermione smiled and pulled something out of her pocket.
"Ok folks this is how you use a grenade!" Hermione laughed shrilly as she pulled the pin out and threw the explosive.
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Padme, and Ginny all started to thin. The last thing Ginny saw, as the grenade went off, was Tom spinning and disapperating.
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Two days later, Ginny was still sitting on her bed sobbing and not talking to anyone. She drifted to the window to stare at the landscape forlornly, but was hit in the face by a large owl. It raised its leg for her to untie the message then flew off. Ginny grinned evilly as she read the message:
Meet me in the Forbidden Forest at nine.
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We can't end like this! Ok every body, One, Two, Three!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
"WELL THAT DIDN'T WORK!"