Kendall sat back on the sofa, took a deep breath & began to fill Bianca in. "A while back Ryan had promised Greenlee that they could start a family, then this mess with Jonathan happened. Since the night in the cave Ryan hadn't been the same. He blamed himself for what happened to Jonathan. When ever Greenlee made mention of having a child Ryan would shoot her down, claiming that he did not want a child. He didn't want it growing up with messed up genes like the Lavery's had, destined to a life with him as a father"
"That's just crazy" Bianca cut in
"I know that, you know that, and Greenlee knows that, but no matter how much she tried to convince him he was wrong the worse things got. While we were at Mom and Jacks wedding, Ryan had a vasectomy to insure he and Greenlee never had children." Kendall continued " Greenlee was convinced that having a child would save Ryan. Somehow Greenlee found out that Ryan went to a fertility clinic when he first came to town years ago as a way to make some fast money. She went to the clinic and tried to get Ryan's sperm but they wouldn't release it to her without Ryan's permission. As a last resort, Greenlee and Simone broke into the clinic one night to steal it"
"You have to be kidding me" Bianca gasped
"I wish I was Binx, but its all true." Kendall went on " I found out where they had went and went to talk some sense into them but it didn't work. Somehow they managed to talk me into helping them, then we got locked in until Dr. Maddens son found us the next morning. After some fast talking he helped us and we got out of there. Greenlee went straight to David with the samples we had & had him run some DNA tests on them to determine which on was Ryan's. A few days later he implanted Greenlee and she got pregnant, She was so excited. I was happy for her, but I just wish she would of waited a bit longer before going through with all of that. Zach and I tried talking to her. Telling her to get him some help then over time maybe he would be ready to have a child. But you know Greenlee she couldn't wait, she had to do it right then and there."
"So where does Zach fit into all of this ?" asked Bianca
"Well, I wanted to support Greenlee with all of this. I mean she was pregnant and I was afraid of how Ryan was going to act once he found out. I couldn't very well talk to Greens about all of this, so I confided in Zach. He was actually very supportive . Together we kept an eye on the situation. The night that Greenlee decided to tell Ryan we had them stay at the casino so we could be there in case there was a problem" Kendall explained "Zach put them in one of the suites that had a security monitor in the sitting area. When we got back to his office and turned it on, she had already told him her news. Bianca, he was furious. I have never seen him like that before. Zach and I ran out of his office when we saw him raise a closed fist to her. We got to the room just in time for Zach to get between them. Ryan went off and started throwing stuff around the room. He turned over the entertainment center then came after me."
"You, why would he go after you ?" Bianca asked horrified
"Because he thought it was all my idea. Taking his sperm, the baby, everything. He even threatened to break my jaw but Zach stopped him. I don't know what he would of done to Greenlee or me if Zach wasn't there. Next thing we knew he ran out of the hotel & got on a motorcycle. We followed him in Zach's car, and that is when he went off the cliff. We got out and ran to the edge as fast as we could but we never saw him. So Zach jumped in to look for him, but couldn't find him. After a while Zach took us back to the hotel, then went back to help the search party look for Ryan. After two days they called off the search. At that point the only thing that was keeping Greenlee going was the baby. If she couldn't have him at least she had his child. About a week later she lost it, and then we found out she couldn't carry another child ever again."
"Oh poor Greenlee" Bianca said slightly above a whisper
"Binx, you should of seen her. She was devastated. She had lost Ryan and now she had lost his baby.
Dr. Madden and I were talking and he explained that Greenlee could still have Ryan's baby, but she would never be able to carry it." explained Kendall
"Ok, now this is starting to make a little more sense. So let me guess, you agreed to carrying the baby for her." said Bianca
"I had to" Kendall sighed " I felt so helpless and this was the only thing I could do to help her."
"Kendall, I love you, you know that, but sometimes your heart is to big for your own good. Have you thought about what it is going to be like after carrying this child for 9 months and after you give birth to Ryan's baby and then have to give it up?" Bianca asked
"Now you sound like Zach" Kendall protested
"Sounds like he knows you pretty well. So what did he have to say about all of this?" questioned Bianca
"He is just concerned that I will end up getting hurt. He seems to think we need to use a surrogate " Kendall said
"I think he is right and I am glad he is looking out for you, someone needs to" Bianca added
"Binx, I know this isn't my baby, it is Greenlee and Ryan's baby. She can't put their bun in her oven so she is borrowing mine. Besides she said I can help raise the baby and see it when ever I want" Kendall cut in
"So, what does Mom have to say about all of this ? " asked Bianca
"Oh she doesn't know yet, and we are planning on keeping it that way , at least till I am three months along. That way we will be past the stage of possible miscarriage. The last thing I need right now is Mother breathing down my neck." Kendall exclaimed
"Well how far along are you?" questioned Bianca
"Umm, one day, maybe." Kendall answered quietly
Bianca couldn't help but laugh "So you don't even know if you are pregnant yet."
"Well no, not yet" said Kendall
"Ok so now that we have the baby mystery out of the way, why don't you fill me in on what's going on with you and Zach " said Bianca
" That's the thing, I don't know what's going on with us. I don't even know if there is an "US". All I know is lately I have started to see Zach in a different light." Kendall said finally
"A different light, what do you mean? " Bianca asked
"Well its kind of hard to explain," Kendall went on " its like this tough guy routine of his is all an act, and that he is afraid to let anyone see the real him, and to let on that he has a heart. He can be the sweetest guy you have ever seen , says all the right stuff and does the right things ,but then there are times that he gets me so mad I just want to strangle him. Like all this business with Julia, I am so scared he is going to get himself killed. I think that is when I started to realize I was starting to have feelings for him."
"Julia, Julia who?" Bianca cut in and asked
"Julia Santos Keifer, that's who" Kendall said in a dry tone
"Kendall what are you talking about, Julia is in the Witness Protection Program with Noah. How on earth would Zach know her? " Bianca asked all puzzled
"Well, " Kendall started " as it turns out , Noah went off to try and find the guy who was after them and ended up getting killed. Julia came back to Pine Valley trying to find them and kill them for what they did to Noah. Zach found her in Wildwind by mistake when he was checking on something for Lily. I guess out of some strange loyalty he feels for Maria, he thinks he has to save Julia. I went looking for Zach one day, to talk to him about this surrogacy thing and found him with Julia at Wildwind. Her and I exchanged some words before Zach dragged me off. He made me promise to not tell anyone about Julia and to stay away. A few days later I went and saw Julia at Wildwind and she wanted me to get Zach away from her so she could get away with out him finding out about it. When he realized what I was doing he left and went back to Wildwind. I followed him, only to walk in to find some guy holding a gun on Julia. Zach and the guy fought and wrestled to the floor. The guy went off and I was so scared that Zach had been shot. After that I went to the Police and talked to Mimi and Derek. I told them what I knew and they promised that Zach wouldn't face any charges for helping Julia. By the time that they got to Wildwind, the place had already been shot up. Luckily Zach and Julia got away and weren't hurt. "
Bianca just gasped and said "No wonder you are so scared for Zach. "
"Bianca, I am having all these feelings for Zach and I don't know what to make of them or what to do about them. " Kendall started "The other night he came over and we had a really nice talk about me doing this baby thing. He doesn't agree with it, but he said he will support me through it. He was being sincere. Told me he would run out for pickle sandwiches in the middle of the night, and would hold my hair back while I tossed them up the next morning. However he did draw the line at playing music for my belly and showing it flashcards."
Bianca couldn't help but laugh
" Then there is something about the way he looks at me," Kendall continued " and I cant help but gaze at him too. Binx he has the most amazing eyes, I could get lost in them. I catch myself thinking about him during the day, and tonight while I was in the bath I dozed off and had a dream about him."
"What kind of dream ?" Bianca asked
"It seemed so real." Kendall started " In my dream I was in the bath ,washing , then he placed his hand on mine and brought it to his lips and started kissing my fingertips. We kissed, then I turned around to face him and we kissed again. He was running his hands all over my body. That is when I woke up. That is when I decided I had to call you. Binx what do you think, could this all just be the hormones the doctor has been giving me ?"
"Kendall," Bianca started "pregnancy can make your hormones run wild, and I am sure all the medication the doctor has you on isn't helping any . However from what you have told me I think you are in love with your husband. Listen, Zach and I have worked out our differences, and I think you are right about him putting up a front. I have seen how he is with Miranda, he is wonderful with her and that comes from the heart. You have seen how Miranda takes to him, and I definitely trust her judgment. In my opinion I think you need to sit down with your husband , talk and see where it goes from there. The worst thing that can happen is you end up with a real marriage to a man you are in love with and possibly loves you as well, but you will never know until you try."
"I guess you are right" Kendall confessed " I will never know until I try and figure out what he feels for me, and I can't do that until I spend some time with him and talk to him. Thanks Binx"
"Anytime" Bianca said "Just keep me posted as to what is going on."
With that they said their Good Byes and ended their call. Kendall put the phone on the coffee table, got up off the sofa and crossed the room to the front window. She stared out the window at Zach's dark condo.
"Zach , I wonder what you would say if you knew I was in love with you. Would I chase you away or would you let me in ? " Kendall wondered as she walked back across the living room, into her bedroom and climbed into bed. For the first night in a long time she felt alone in her big bed. As she drifted off to sleep all she could think about was how sweet Zach's lips would taste , how it would feel to fall asleep in his arms. Most of all she thought how heavenly it would be to get lost in his eyes.