Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Obviouthly.
Draceo and Hermyliet
Oh Merlin. Draco was such an adorable cutie. He was soooo cute. His perfectly silky blond hair reflected the intensity of the moonlight with a burning passion that was not exceeded by a thousand suns. His rippling muscles burst from his shirt, making rippling tidal waves that Hermione just wanted so badly to drown in…wait, what in the name of Dumbledore was she thinking? She hated Draco, remember? But oh, how his manly voice had the masculine tone of a male wrestler, except not nearly as harsh. It also managed to capture the silky, smooth tone of an expensive satin sheet, without compromising manliness. His definitive smirk captured the essence of his extreme manliness and capitalized it with sixteen exclamation points. One, that is, for each year of his undeniably manly life.
Draco winked at Hermione. Or at least…she thought he did.
Hermione giggled and flaunted her curvature-laden body…wait, what was she doing? She threw an acorn at him. It bounced off his shield-like muscular armor of his pectorals and ricocheted back at her. Hermione caught it with two fingers nonchalantly and fed it to a nearby squirrel. Just two weeks ago, she had been mousy and school-obsessed, but suddenly she had erupted with voluptuous curves in all the right places. Her voluminous hair bounced when she walked; it was in perfect curls. Her stance was poised and confident, without being too showy. In fact, she had just the right amount of buttons unbuttoned on her Hogwarts shirt to look provocative without being labeled 'trashy.' She carried a Chanel purse at her side and a massive Kleenex box in her pocket to wipe up the tears of boys she rejected. However, the lump it should have made was not apparent. She was not wearing makeup; she didn't need to. She was a certified knockout and she knew it.
Suddenly, Hermione changed her mind about Draco. She walked over to him and deliberately flipped her hair a few times. Draco blinked a few times. Forget it, she thought. I guess this will have to be done the hard way. She crawled onto his lap and started to violently smother him with passionate kisses. Alas, Draco finally seemed to be aware of his surroundings. He kissed her back.
They made out in ecstasy in front of the bright crescent moon.