Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

A/N: I think someone asked me why Will and Mary and Christina are the only nice seeming people in this fic. Well, that's a good question, and here's the answer. It's because the story is being told from Christina's point of view. Obviously people who antagonize her or are a threat to her are not going to be portrayed in a fair light…if I had written this from Elizabeth's POV (which would be interesting), Christina would be portrayed as the bad one. One day I hope to write a fic from a third person point of view so I'll be able to develop the characters and make them more well rounded. But for now, this is all I'm brave enough to do…hope that clears things up.

Please forgive me if I spelled "claddaugh" wrong. I don't have photographic memory.

It was a whole mess of tongues and teeth and lips - my sister's lips, and Will's lips. Maybe that distracted me from the fact that it was Elizabeth who was pressing herself up against him, but when I looked away I was lucky enough to see his hands around her waist - her perfect waist, so tiny that both his hands nearly came into contact with each other around the circumference of her impossibly thin waist. I looked down, wrapping my arms around myself and feeling, not for the first time, my own width…How could I have had the audacity to believe he could have stayed with me, when my sister was still around and unmarried.

"Oh," I said softly, the deed to the blacksmith shop fluttering out of my hands and onto the grass beneath me. I felt something strange, like my heart had jumped inside my chest, and it hurt a lot. I felt my throat getting tight, but couldn't tear my eyes away. How long were they going to keep at it, anyway? It didn't seem like Will had ever kissed me like that.

And I was frozen, my eyes slowly widening, and stuck in that single moment of time when all my hopes for a beautiful wedding - which, truthfully, I hadn't thought that much about, considering I was still getting used to Will's and my new relationship - were dashed, and I wouldn't get a small house with him, or a few kids. Kids, I'd actually thought, somewhere along the line in some discreet moment, about kids. And now the daydream of me with a heavy belly - both a terrifying and thrilling prospect, especially the way in which women get with child, was gone. No children for Governor Swann's eldest daughter, the dark one, the one who looks like all the village girls, the one who was adopted. Richard was right; Will thought my sister was a goddess. It was like being fifteen all over again, except worse because at least when I was fifteen, Will and Elizabeth never touched. At least when I was fifteen, I was never promised a happy life with the man I loved, just to have it taken away so harshly right in front of my eyes, in the garden of my father's mansion; when I was rushing to give Will the deed to the shop so he'd have a place to work to support our future, and now non-existent, family.

The irony struck me speechless.

And to think a few short hours ago, I was happy because I thought I could flaunt my fiancé in front of Elizabeth, having finally had something better than her. Oh, no. And even sooner than that I had comforted her from her nightmares…funny how she so skillfully makes a fool of me. And they kept kissing

In actuality, it probably wasn't that long. Maybe only a few seconds. But it was a long enough for me to make up my mind. I turned around and tried to run, but my legs were stiff and shaking. A strangled sound escaped from my lips and I tried to force my legs to move, but they wouldn't listen. I was hoping that Will would shove her away, but if he did, I wouldn't be able to see it anyway. I was facing the other way, trying to sort out if what I had just saw was real, or just a horrible figment of my imagination. My worst nightmares come to realization - the thing that I knew would happen finally come to pass. Who wouldn't change a raven for a swan?

"Christina!" I heard Will finally gasp, and I heard Elizabeth make a little squeaking noise. He must have finally realized that it was the wrong sister he was kissing. That it wasn't his fiancé, that there was no excuse because, as it has been established, we are far from identical twins. That it was the girl he'd been dreaming of kissing ever since she spotted him in the water, and he was pulled up. Ever since she was the first thing he saw when he came to. Maybe his guilty conscience finally kicked in.

My head was spinning. I couldn't think of anything to do, or say. I felt his hand on my shoulder, pulling me to face him. His eyes were wide and desperate, his mouth was slightly open. I swallowed and looked to the floor. I hadn't even made it three feet away. I could see the deed quivering slightly, there wasn't enough wind to blow it away. Suddenly I wanted so badly for it to be blown away, so I wouldn't look as incredibly pathetic and naïve as I was.

"Oh, God, Christina," Will groaned, his hand on my arm burning me. I wanted him to let go, but I stayed still. Richard was right. Maybe I should marry Richard, and be safe in a loveless relationship, rubbing my husband's feet and laying down for him each night, spending the rest of my life bearing children and washing clothes, like a good, proper woman is supposed to do. Good, proper women don't marry for love. They marry for convenience. They marry the men their father tells them to, and that way they never get hurt. Because the only thing that is discussed is a dowry, and there is never any heartache involved. I should have let my father, as scatterbrained as he is, marry me off to some courtier, some old man who would die soon and leave me an old, spent woman who just needed to see her sons grown before she, too, died. My stomach turned at the thought.

Stop overreacting, I heard Mary's voice in my head. It was something that she would tell me, or maybe she would curse Will's name and braid my hair too tightly, so I could pretend to be crying from that rather than because of Will. Mary, who was in love with the Commodore, and he was being such an ass. I should be thinking about her, instead of my own damn problems. I should have stayed with her and comforted her, and been safe on the other side of the garden never knowing what had happened between my sister and my fiancé.

I looked up past Will shoulder, there was still a safe distance between us, and saw Elizabeth watching me. She blushed and looked down. "Now is really not the time to feign humility, Elizabeth. You certainly weren't so demure a few moments ago," I snapped. She walked away quickly. "That's it, Lizzie, run away and tell father what a bad, nasty sister I am. Maybe he will call of my engagement and you'll have a free run for it," I screamed, shoving Will hands off me.

"Christina, please," Will begged, grabbing my hand again.

"You don't have the right to talk to me, William. Not anymore. You don't have the right to touch me, or look at me or -"

He didn't seem to be listening. He grabbed my arms and pulled me dangerously close to him. I could feel his hard chest and I molded into him. I snarled so as not to breathe in and smell him, but I remembered laying on his bed earlier this week and then laying next to him on the floor of the blacksmith shop. I brought my hands up and wiped angrily at my eyes, trying to push away from him and at the same time trying to stop thinking about how it felt to wake up with his arm protectively over my waist. And how the air was so charged that if I hadn't left the shop in a hurry, God only knows where I'd be now. In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have left in such a hurry.

"Let go of me, Will," I growled, finally dislodging myself. I backed up, feeling as if I might upchuck whatever I had eaten. I was still burning from how he held me so tightly, sick because I wanted him to hold me again as much as I wanted to smack him, as much as I wanted to scream and cry and have him kiss me the way he kissed Elizabeth. By the end of it, I was so disgusted with myself than I cried anyway, and he reached for me again.

"Don't," I hissed, wiping my nose on my sleeve. Mary would kill me.

I looked around, focusing on the shrubs, on the grass, on the clouds, on anything but my so-called fiancé. "I am so sorry, Christina, please believe me…I didn't plan for it…I don't have any feelings for Elizabeth, I swear," Will said shakily, rubbing his neck with the back of his hand and shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"Believe you?" I barked, a harsh laugh erupting from my lips. I didn't know where this cold, sardonic me came from. Maybe from years of being in Elizabeth's skinny shadow. Years of being "the other daughter", the cross between a pirate and whore. I felt cold as I finally looked at him, wishing that I had never seen him. My mind flashed back to how angry he was when Elizabeth was taken captive - I should have known then that no matter what he said it would be her whom he loved. Oh, wait, I did know then. And then he told me he loved me.

"Correct me if I'm mistaken, William, but when one has no feelings for another individual, he doesn't shove his bloody tongue down her throat, does he?" Will said nothing, only looked down. At least he wasn't a coward enough to blame it on her, even though I would have believed him in less than a second if he told me it was her fault.

I turned around to leave when I heard him whisper, "I love you." I swore and stopped, not turning around but not leaving either. I looked around frantically again, wishing I was deaf.

"So you say," I said, bowing my head and feeling a tear slip from my eye. I turned around again, not bothering to hide how hurt I was.

"It was rather cruel of you to carry on with me like that, Will. I've been your best friend the whole time we've known each other, it was rather uncalled for. What, did you feel guilty or something, after I helped you rescue her? Well a simple thank you would have sufficed. But leading me to believe you truly loved me, that was just cruel."

"I didn't - "

"I wouldn't have begrudged you much if you had just accepted to marry her when you had the chance. But telling me you loved me, and then making me love you more and more every week, every time I saw you again, every time you kissed me? I could have been happy, Will! I could have waited for Jack to come back - he said he would take me away - and I could have scraped some happiness away from you and away from here,"

"I didn't want you away from me - "

"What did you think, hmm, William? That you could marry both of the Governor's daughters? We're not heathens anymore, you get one wife. You got one chance, and you chose me. Wrong choice, I see," I snapped.

"No, not that wrong choice! I want to marry you, I want you to be my wife and bear my children, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Christina, making you happy,"

"Well, looks like you got off to a great start," I said sarcastically, crossing my arms over my chest and backing away as he tried to get close to me again. I had already laid down the foundation to build a wall around my heart, I was making bricks with my own blood and tears and broken fantasies of my happy life with Will.

"Do you see that little paper on the ground, Will? Do you know what that is?" Will looked, walked over to pick up the deed.

"It's the deed to the blacksmith shop. I got it for you. As an early wedding gift. You can keep it, even though now it seems there wont be a wedding after all. At least not for me," I said, trying to swallow the lump in my throat and failing miserably.

"You're going to call off everything just because I made a mistake?" Will demanded harshly.

"You made a lot of mistakes, Will, every time you kissed me. The first was lying to me, making me believe - You lied to me," I said, biting my lip to keep from crying anymore. I didn't want him to see me crying anymore than he already had. I was humiliated enough already.

"Christina," Will said, sounding so sad that I almost believed him. Something I would not be doing again. I closed my eyes.

"Good bye, William," I said, turning around and walking away.

When I had walked out of the garden, I was met by Elizabeth. I regarded her coldly, brushing past her. "Christina, wait," she said. I turned around, snarling.

"What do you want, Elizabeth? You got your way, again. I'm sorry it took so long this time, and I wish you didn't have to humiliate me so much to do it, but you got your way. I wish you a very happy marriage, but you must excuse me if I refuse to be your maid of honor," I snapped, running away and heading into the tea room where my father and the Commodore still stood. Mary stood there too, with wide eyes.

"Christina!" my father shouted, still obviously very cross with me. Unfortunately, I had already started to cry. I ran past without even looking at him or the Commodore, and I heard Mary run to follow me.

I ran into my room and fell upon my bed, fair sobbing at that point. "Oh, what happened to make you cry so?" Mary asked from my doorway, walking in and closing the door.

I cried and cried, my head in my hands. I cried so hard I thought I felt my chest constricting and I couldn't breathe. I cried for so long, I thought my eyes would run out of tears. I cried until I blacked out from lack of air, only coming to once Mary unlaced my corset. She helped me up and tucked me into bed, handing me a handkerchief and touching my face lightly. She looked as sad as I was, except she wasn't crying.

"Men have us in a bad spot, don't they?" she asked, smiling so valiantly it looked like her lips had weights attached to the corners, and she was struggling to keep them up. I didn't say anything, only felt hot tears as they slid down my neck.

"How could I have thought that he would be satisfied with me, Mary?" I asked, looking up at her. She didn't say anything. "I should have stayed with you. I was looking for him to give him the deed, it was supposed to be a wedding gift, and early one. And when I finally found him…he was with Elizabeth. And he was kissing her," I started to cry again, all my harsh words to him before seemed to me that they were said by another woman, because right now all I wanted was to find him and tell him I forgave him; and that he could kiss Elizabeth all he wanted, because I loved him and I would do anything to marry him. I hated how he made me so weak, such a wretched thing of so little pride.

"Oh, Christina," Mary said gently, her eyes filling with tears. She hugged me, and pulled away when somebody opened the door. "Linda, dear, go fetch us a cup of tea, will you? Be a love?" Mary asked. Linda, the young new maid, nodded and hurried off, closing the door behind her.

"Christina, it doesn't mean anything. Surely you wont call off the marriage just for that? Knowing Elizabeth it was probably her fault. Will loves you, you must be sure of that," Mary said, taking my hands in hers. I shook my head.

"Mary, you don't understand. He knew. He knew that I was always afraid that it was her he loved…if he hadn't known then I would have believed him, I would have given him another chance, but he knew! And I love him too much to make him unhappy, to guilt him into marrying me. No matter how many times he apologizes, or says he loves me…he kissed her like I'm sure he never kissed me…"

"Don't be silly."

"They are better suited for each other anyway. He loved her since he first saw her -"

"He was infatuated. He loves you, Christina, surely you must see that," Mary repeated, nodding at Linda as she gave us each a saucer with a delicate tea cup and a few biscuits. I took a tentative sip and placed it on my night table. I shook my head again.

"Mary, I just want to sleep. Would you mind?" I asked. She sighed and nodded, blowing out the candle by my bed and leaving the room, closing it behind her.

Tomorrow I would learn that Will had stayed and told my father what happened, and that Mary went storming downstairs to give him a piece of her mind, even with the Commodore around or perhaps not realizing that he was there. From my room I could hear her yelling at him, for my sake, but I was so heart sore and tired that I didn't make out the words. I could hear his low voice talking quickly, I could hear my father intervening, I could hear Mary shouting on the top of her lungs, and the Commodore adding some smart remark. I could hear her snap back with enough revulsion that could make me proud, if I were in a normal state of mind. I could hear Will say something, his voice sounding like he was defeated, and I heard the door slam as Richard led him out. I even heard Richard say a few words to Will, but all I could discern was the rumble of voices and not particular words. It wasn't long before the Commodore left as well, and my father decided to have a few words with my sister. I wasn't quite aware that tears were still falling from my eyes as Elizabeth's soft footsteps padded up to my room, and she knocked on my door. Father probably sent her up here to apologize.

She opened the door quietly. "Christina?" she whispered. I kept my raspy breathing as even as I possible could, but even someone as senseless as Elizabeth could tell that I was still awake. I kept my eyes closed and tried not to cry as I thought of her kissing Will, but the image kept replaying in my mind. Her pretty eyes closed, his closed as well, her arms around his neck, his hands on her waist that put mine to shame…the way they fit so perfectly together, like they were more made for each other than Will and I ever were.

Elizabeth closed the door a few moments later and walked away.

I sighed and touched the pearls that were still around my neck, wishing, not for the last time, that Jack had come back and taken me far away from here. I woke up in the middle of the night again, hearing Elizabeth crying to herself in her room. This time I would not be walking through the halls at night, being accosted by Richard, just to comfort the sister who had betrayed me so deeply. Or maybe she hadn't betrayed me, and she and Will couldn't even hope to keep their hands - and lips - off each other, seeing as they were as meant to be as any of the ancient lovers of lore. Helen and Paris. Cleopatra and Marc Antony. Romeo and Juliet, but with a happier ending in sight, of course. Hermia and Lysander, then. And maybe I was just a distraction, a fly caught in honey, a way for Will to know that it was Elizabeth he truly wanted. It wasn't fun playing the pawn.

Elizabeth cried for hours, it seemed, though she really had no reason to. Things worked out for her, as usual. Her life was charmed, someone was smiling down at her. Saving her from evil pirates and letting the love of her life love her back. I felt one tear slip from my eye; when it all boiled down, it was my own naivety that hurt me the most. How could I blame Will for something that couldn't be helped?

I knew then what I had to do. I just didn't want to acknowledge it. It frightened me, even though I knew that there was nothing I could do. If I saw them get married, it would be the end of me. If I had to stay in the same house, as big as it was, with her, I would go mad. I just wondered how on earth I would get in touch with Jack Sparrow.

I was asleep before I realized my plan was simple and fully formed.

Mary woke me up around one the next day. She helped me sit up, putting more pillows behind me, knowing that I didn't want to do anything that day but lay in bed. "Mr. Turner is here to see you, Christina, should I send him up?" she asked, handing me my tea. I shook my head, quietly sipping at the tasteless amber liquid. I put a hand to my eyes, my face was puffy and my nose was stuffed, I had a horrible headache.

"Do you plan on getting dressed today, or laying like a lump in bed all day?" Mary asked.

I sighed, "I'm feeling rather lumpish today, Mary," I answered, draining the rest of my tea and ignoring how it burned my throat, past my heart, and into my stomach. I thought fleetingly of how my skin burned when Will touched me, but pushed that thought away before I could start to cry again. Lord knows that I'd cried an ocean last night, drenching my pillow in tears, making my neck sticky.

"You can't just lay in bed. Go out into the garden…"

"Mary, the garden is the last place I want to be. Any news with Commodore Norrington?" I asked, changing the subject deliberately and taking a tentative bite of a biscuit. I wrinkled my nose and set it on the saucer next to my bed table.

"The Commodore left yesterday. Christina, I yelled at the man! What has gotten into me?" Mary said.

I smiled weakly, "I don't know, Mary, but personally I think it's a good thing. The insufferable man deserved to be yelled at."

"Will Turner is a fool if he wants Elizabeth over you. I think the man just made a mistake, you should give him another chance," Mary scolded.

I looked up, glaring, "I really do not wish to talk about him, Mary," I said harshly. She nodded. "Your father may have me sent away, for improper conduct not becoming of a maid," she said quietly.

I snorted, "Over my dead body." I looked up at my friend and smiled.

"I have an idea," I whispered. Mary looked wary.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I have no place here - Elizabeth and Will are the couple now, they always were. I was just a distraction of some sort, maybe Will thought he was being thankful for my help in rescuing her. But they'll be married, and I can't be around for it. And if my father sends you away, then I will have lost my last friend, my only friend. We should run away."

"What?"

"Jack Sparrow promised that he would come for me, but I told him not to. I plan to hold him to his word…my mother ran away, maybe that it my fate too. Maybe I'll find her," I added with a grin, putting little faith in those words. Mary bit her lip. "We'll be together, two female additions to the crew of the Black Pearl. At sea will be the only place I'm at home, now that everything fell apart here, and so quickly. Maybe if I join up with Jack, I'll be able to forget how an honest woman was almost made of me."

"Christina, you are the most honest woman I know. Too much so, perhaps. It would do you good to learn discretion - and this idea is preposterous, we can't become pirates," Mary said. I snorted.

"Come with me, Mary. You'll love it at sea, the freedom of it…there is nothing here for either of us," I said excitedly, ignoring her and sitting up a bit.

"I'll think about it, but you really should give Mr. Turner another chance…"

"He had his chance," I said, looking away. She nodded and stood, taking my saucer with her and leaving my room. I got up and walked over to the balcony, pulling my robe closed and watching the garden. I saw Will pacing around nervously, saw Mary walk up to him. She must have told him that I wasn't coming down. I watched him curse and look up, and I took a step back so as to be out of sight.

"CHRISTINA!" I heard him yell. I walked into my room and closed the doors to my balcony, not wanting to hear his apologies that he made in his guilt. I sat in front of my mirror and saw myself. My face was still red, my hair a tangled mess, some of it stuck to my neck.. I was pale, for once in my life, the black pearls and my dark hair making me look like a vampire. There were tear stains all across my face, and I found myself angry that I let Will hurt me so. I got up and walked away from the mirror, sick of seeing myself. I found myself hoping that Mary agreed to come with me, I didn't know if I was brave enough to leave on my own.

I walked over to the balcony again, and saw Will leaving.

I sat on my bed, stretching my legs out in front of me. I picked up a book from my nightstand, but couldn't concentrate enough to read. I looked up, hearing the doorknob turn, and in walked my father. Joy of joys.

"Good afternoon, Christina," he said, walking in and pulling a chair up, sitting opposite me. I nodded quietly.

"Father," I said. "I suppose you came here to berate me on my behavior, yesterday? Running out on Commodore Norrington, after having treated him so awfully. Well I'm not sorry," My father didn't look surprised. He sighed, folding his hands in his lap.

"As a matter of fact, Christina, I did not come here to berate you in any way at all. I wish you didn't think of me as such a demon instead of a father."

"Well, I wonder where that idea could have been nurtured and bloomed?" I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest. My father got up and sat on the corner of my bed, pulling something out of my pocket and putting it in my palm. I picked it up and peered at it. It was a ring, a small silver ring, with a heart, two hands and a crown above the heart.

"It's a claddagh ring. Your mother had one identical to it, made for a woman of course. She wore it when I married her. The heart represents love, the hands, friendship, and the crown, loyalty. I'm afraid she took hers with her when she left. I had one made for me in exact likeness to it. It supposed to be exchanged between two people, but I'm afraid she was in love with someone prior to marrying me. She wasn't allowed to marry that lucky man who had your mother's love," my father said. I bit my lip, holding the ring up by its chain and studying it.

"I'm giving it to you, until you find someone who will exchange rings with you. William told me what happened last night, and I must confess that I am rather disappointed in the boy, but you mustn't hold it against him. It was an honest mistake."

"So it's a mistake when a man kisses a woman to whom he is not betrothed? There was nothing honest about it, Father!"

"Even so, Christina, he loves you. Don't be a fool and run away from that. Love is a hard thing to come by, and if you refuse it you may not ever experience it again."

"I doubt I've experienced it yet, Father. And if I have, then I've had quite enough," I said bitterly, fastening the chain around my neck.

My father touched my cheek gently, "I understand you're hurt, sweeting, and I'm very upset with your sister, too, make no mistake about that. If you want to take a break from seeing young Turner, I'll understand. But don't throw away love, it is as awful as letting love run away," he looked so sad, for a moment, as if he had contracted into himself. Obviously, he was talking not only about me but about himself, letting my mother run away.

"There was nothing you could have done, Father," I said softly, touching the ring around my neck. He looked up and kissed me on the forehead, getting up to leave.

"I know, sweeting, I know, but sometimes I doubt that," he said, walking out and closing my door gently.

I held the ring softly in my hand, thinking about what my father had told me. I studied the heart - love, I was confused about that. I watched the hands, for friendship. Will and I definitely had had friendship. Lastly I looked at the crown - loyalty. I dropped the ring onto my chest angrily and set my jaw, waiting until Mary came back in.