Chapter 22

Disclaimer: This story is based on Tamora Pierce's wonderful characters and places. Don't sue me.

A/N: This story is almost complete. Only the epilogue remains. You all begged me to see all the letters, so I did all of them. It makes for a really long chapter, but it says some nice things. And the last few paragraphs explain why Numair won't realize he's in love for another two months. Plus, don't miss the letter to Daine which explains why she asked him in ROTG if he loved her or not and then a few paragraphs later says, "You're in love with me?" as if it is a new idea.

Chapter 22 – Numair returns

On the fifth day after Numair's death, Alanna opened the blue envelope. She gave the will to Jon as was the custom. This day they had planned to hold a memorial for him. They had waited until the delegation arrived from the Yamani Islands, because Elyra's father wished to honor Numair. He had, after all, given his life to save the man's grandson.

Alanna had mostly come to grips with her loss. It helped that she had her children and husband there with her. Onua was having a harder time. She didn't have the family to cling to and Numair was the first person Onua knew that liked her for herself. But no one took it harder than Daine. They still had not gotten her to eat properly. She would swallow a couple of bites to calm them all down, but it was half-hearted and she wouldn't finish a meal.

Two days prior, Alanna had held a most uncomfortable conversation with Onua on this subject. "Do you think she was in love with him?" Onua had asked.

Swallowing hard, Alanna had tried to skirt the issue. It didn't seem right now that Numair was not here to defend his honorable intentions. But finally she had decided that what Daine felt was necessary information to help her heal. "Yes, I think so. Only she can tell you for sure. But I have thought so on many occasions."

Onua had nodded and kept closer to Daine's side.

Alanna sorted through private letters that had been enclosed in the blue envelope. She decided she would distribute them at the memorial.

At midday, a large group of people gathered in the temple of the Black God to say goodbye to their friend. There were many people. Some had come long distances like the Yamani Nobles. Lindhall Reed had ridden for two solid days to be there. Alanna, George and the children sat in a row on the temple seats directly behind Jon and Thayet and their children. Behind her, Sarge and Onua, sat on one side of Daine. Onua was holding Daine's hand. On the other side of Daine sat her new friend Perin. Alanna had to like him. He had been kind to Daine as she grieved. Alanna thought that Numair had been right to encourage that. On the other side of Perin, Tkaa held Kitten. They all felt it best if they let Daine have the memorial to just cry.

Once the temple was filled, Alanna got up and handed out the letters. She sat back down with George to read the one addressed to the two of them.

Dear George and Alanna,

If you're reading this then I'm gone. It was something stupid wasn't it? I always figured it would be.

Since I know neither of you are fond of long goodbyes I will try to keep it short. I just wanted to say thank you. When I came to Tortall, I had left my family behind along with everything I had ever known. You didn't just befriend me. You took care of me. I get lost in my own head sometimes, but both of you kept my feet planted firmly on the ground.

Alanna, you are a sister to me. I cannot imagine the last few years of my life without you there. You keep my biggest secrets and you kick my butt when it needs kicking. You always tell me the truth even when it hurts.

George, you taught me how to have fun. I think I would have bored everyone around me to death if it weren't for you. Thanks for helping me out of juggling and into respectability again. I'm sure the realms of the Black God will be dull because I won't be hearing any more of your rogue jokes.

Goodbyes to the children are probably just too hard. I wanted to see them grow up. I had promised Thom that I would teach him when he was ready. I guess I'm breaking that one. Tell him I'm sorry for that.

Love,

Numair

-----

Jon wrapped an arm around Thayet's shoulder. With their heads close, they carefully unfolded their letter. Jon had not realized how hard this was going to be. Numair had been such a fixture, that he could hardly imagine the days to come without him. He had not realized how close they were until he knew that Numair would not return.

Dear Jon and Thayet,

Where does one begin to thank the King and Queen who restored his faith in monarchies? I think I had decided all monarchs were evil when I landed in Tortall and you proved it all wrong. You've built an empire the kind of which stories will be told about for centuries to come. I count myself lucky to have been part of that history.

Jon, I can never thank you for all that you taught me. As much as I learned at the University in Carthak, you taught me ten times that in real-life information. You always try to think of the future with every decision. It's that type of foresight that makes you the incredible leader that you are. And it was that which showed me the kind of man I wanted to be. This trip was necessary to help you maintain what you built. I'm sorry that I did not confide in you ahead of time, but such is my respect for you and your kingdom that I could not be the one to bring shame upon it.

Thayet, you showed me many kindnesses I will never forget. You taught me to dance properly and things about parenting which I never got the chance to put to use. You didn't just have my loyalty because you were my queen, but because you earned it. Not many leaders can say that.

Thank you both for everything. I hope that Tortall continues to become all that I imagined it would someday.

Love,

Numair

------

Lindhall Reed was sitting next to Elyra Kelton and her two children. He had ridden hard to be here. He still could not believe that this had happened. Looking at Elyra he could see why a man might go to the ends of the world to help her. Her two children were darling and he did small magic tricks for them that made them laugh. He was so busy entertaining them that he had not seen Alanna approach with a letter. When she handed it to him and explained that it had been left in her possession in case something happened to Numair, he reached for it with a shaking hand. He unfolded it and read:

Dear Lindhall,

Well, I've gone and done it –something stupid enough to get myself killed. We have enough history that I don't need to bury you in words. I think I've actually done enough of that for two lifetimes haven't I?

I just wanted to say thank you for believing in me. You were the one person I could go to in Carthak for help twice. Either time could have cost your life and you still never refused or even hesitated.

You have been the greatest influence of my life. You taught me humility and how much needs to be sacrificed to do what is right in all things. Thank you so much.

I also wanted to ask one last favor. If I'm gone, Daine is without a teacher. There are still some magical things she needs to learn and understand. I'm hoping you will continue her magical education. I know you will love all she can teach you about animals.

Please consider it. And thank you again for everything.

Love,

Numair

-----

Onua stayed close to Daine, worrying about her every moment. When Alanna handed her a letter, she was glad to see that Daine had one too. They unfolded them together and Onua read:

Dear Onua:

You were the first person in Tortall I knew liked me for who I really was. I also think you were one of the few who ever really knew who I was. I was thinking while I rushed to put together a bunch of letters this evening how much I'll miss you all if I don't make it back, which, if you're reading this, has happened.

There were always many good reasons I should have irritated you. I know my riding skills are abysmal and I know my lists drive you crazy. But somehow, we still were friends all of this time. Acceptance like that is rare and I have been blessed.

Two years ago you teased me about writing some poetry for your songs. I actually did it. I even wrote a lot of lyrics for love songs which I was too self-conscious to show you. They are in my study in a black book. Please don't feel obligated to ever sing them. Only know that I did listen to your request as I always listened, even if I didn't show it.

Thank you again for our friendship. It meant the world to me.

Love,

Numair

------

Daine hardly knew what she was doing when she took the letter. Her eyes were swollen from crying and it was hard to read.

Dearest Magelet,

If you are reading this, I am dead. See I really do act before I think sometimes. If you aren't too angry with me, I wanted to spend a few moments on one last lesson with you. It is the difference between 'love' and 'in love'.

If you're wondering what I know about love you have every right to. I've been surrounded by incredible love stories and have yet to participate in my own. But you know me, I observe everything and it seems to me that there is a difference.

Our language is funny. We have seven words for hate (no I won't list them. I know you hate that) and only one word for love. But there are multiple types of love. There is the love that a parent has for a child, the type a sister has for a brother, the type between friends, and the type that is epic, like Alanna shares with George. That last is what I'm referring to when I say "in love".

They are sweet together aren't they? You've seen it too, I know you have. Alanna can be the toughest, scariest person in the world until George walks in the room. Then she sees naught but him.

So I'm spending my last letter explaining this because I want you to promise (posthumously) that you will settle for no less than "in love". Magelet, I know you well. You think your past makes you undesirable. You are actually very desirable. I should know, I've spent the last 8 months chasing off the hordes of hormone driven teenagers who want you. They did not have love in mind, only lust. I admit, I wanted something wonderful for you and so I was a little abrasive at times. I actually didn't realize it until the night of the ball when I managed to frighten two of your suitors without trying to at all. Sorry about that. Anyway, you told me in Dunlath that you thought your status without a father would hold you down forever. Now that I'm not there to tell you what nonsense that is, I hope you will remember this letter.

There is nothing about you that isn't loveable. You are beautiful and wondrous. You always see the best in every living creature. You are courageous and forthright. You are generous and thoughtful. Any one of these attributes will draw many young men to you. But choose the one who sees them all and loves them all. He should also love your faults and accept your magic. Find your own George and be deliriously happy for many, many years.

I'm sorry I left you this way. I made you a promise in Carthak to be there as long as you wanted me around. Silly me, I didn't keep that promise very long did I?

Love,

Numair

Daine sobbed into Onua's shoulder. She couldn't think any more. It was all just too painful. For the first time in days she listened to the animals. She thought about escaping to be with them for awhile and then she heard Cloud. –Storkman! Storkman! Did you hear me? It's Storkman, he's back—

Daine didn't realize she had stood or that she said, "Numair?" aloud. There was a lot of murmuring. She could hear Cloud's hooves walking down the road. –Storkman! Storkman! He's back.—How strange it seemed for Cloud to sound so joyous.

People started to move toward the temple door and clogged it to see what the girl was talking about and what the horse outside was neighing about. Some people at the front gasped and called him, "Numair! Numair!" and Daine tried to push her way through. She imagined throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him, just to let him know how she felt.

But it was Elyra who got out the door first and it was Elyra who threw her arms around him and kissed him. Daine just stood there, swaying and staring. Beside her she felt Perin wrap his arm around her waist and hug her. He looked happy although she wasn't sure why. Perin and Numair did not really know one another.

The kiss ended and Numair was swept into hug after hug until Daine thought she would go mad with waiting. At last, Numair was free and she walked to him, barely believing this was real and that he had once again cheated death. He looked thin and in desperate need of a bath and she just didn't care at all. She saw him glance over her shoulder. Was he looking at Perin? And then she was in his embrace, arms wonderfully tight, feet a foot of the ground. He said, "Magelet, I've missed you."