Title: The Missing Comb
Author: Lurien of Lórien, Sentinel Extraordinaire, Equal
Opportunity Lover
Disclaimer: I, Lurien, know very little about this Tolkien fellow
and do not own anything he might have created. In particular, I do
not own (or wish to own) Haldir or his disagreeable brothers. They
are not even in my story. This is MY story. Mine.
Cast: Lurien/OFC

The day began like any other. I rose from my bed, glancing
affectionately at the lovely sleeping elleth beside me. Yesterday's
festival had been pleasurable, and the evening's festivities had
grown lively with dancing, singing and revelry. I had partaken
slightly more than my usual quota of fine wine, which meant that I
was more inclined to step outside my usual boundaries and try my
luck with an elleth who had heretofore rejected and ignored me. In
other words, I felt equipped to cope with another rejection if it
occurred, and it was perhaps my suave self-assurance in this respect
that at last won me what I desired. Luckily, the elleth had also
partaken of wine, and this too may have had something to do with it.

But I digress.

I rose from my bed, glancing affectionately at the sleeping elleth
beside me, and proceeded into the adjacent room, where I gazed at
myself in the mirror. I looked the same as always, handsome and
splendid, my hot summer blue eyes gleaming with satisfaction at my
victorious wooing of this previously reluctant elleth. (I will
digress briefly once more, and add that she found her encounter with
me to be extremely satisfying and that I was able to fulfill her
every desire and a few she had not known she had. I have never had
such compliments as those that befell my ears last night, though I
would not say they were unearned; indeed I had striven mightily to
please her in all respects.)

In any case, I examined my reflection in the mirror, and discovered
that my hair had become extremely untidy. The elleth had gripped it
in her ardor, tangling her fingers while she whimpered of her need
for me and my expert attentions. Let us say that I had not objected
at the time to having my hair thusly disarranged since my focus was
on certain other activities, however this morning was another cup of
tea. I was soon to report for guard duty, and could not even
consider leaving my talan with my golden tresses in such acute
disarray. I therefore opened the little cupboard where I kept my
personal toiletries and set my hand upon the bottom shelf where I
kept my comb.

The shelf was bare.

I gazed at it in disbelief. My comb was always on this shelf when
not in use, and had been so for a thousand years. It was simply not
credible that it was gone.

I glanced around, wondering if this was all a dream, and then
pinched myself to be sure. Ouch, bad idea. I was definitely awake.

I examined the other shelves as well as the floor, and then in
desperation I returned to the other room where the elleth slept, and
searched there.

Nothing.

I was becoming frantic, as I'm sure you will understand. I did not
want to be late. What could I do?

I strode across the room and touched the elleth's shoulder. Her
eyes opened instantly and she smiled. "Lurien," she
murmured. "Lurien."

She shut her eyes again and sighed softly.

"Ahem," I said to her. Now I do not kiss and tell, which is why I
am not divulging her name; therefore for this story I will simply
call her Jane'.

"Jane," I said, trying to stay calm, "my comb is missing."

Jane's eyes reopened. "I know. I took it."

I stared at her in shock. I had not expected such a statement.

"Why?" I somehow managed to ask. It would be fair to say that my
voice was not steady.

Her lips curved. "Because I like how you look with your hair
tousled, Lurien. That sexy bedchamber look turns me on. Always
before you looked too neat for my taste. It made you look stiff and
prudish. That is why I resisted you for so long. I was not sure
you could live up to your reputation."

I opened and shut my mouth, at a profound loss for words. A myriad
of responses rushed through my head, but I knew not what to say.

Finally, I just said, "Give it back."

I fully expected my terseness to earn me a slap or an insult, but I
was going to be late for guard duty and dire tactics were
essential. However, once more she shocked me.

"No," she said, and gave me a sex kitten smile that under normal
circumstances would have had my elfhood snapping to attention.

"No?" I repeated, glaring at her. "Jane, I am due for guard duty
soon. The sun has almost risen." And so had I, which I expect she
had noticed already.

She pushed down the sheet, exposing her alluring ellethly
assets. "Make love to me first, and then I will tell you where it
is."

I shook my head. "I have no time, Jane. I wish I could. After my
guard duty, I will gladly give you all you desire as many times as
you desire it."

"Now," she said. "I'm ready now. I have other plans for later."

In retrospect, I realize that I was more taken aback than I have
ever been in my life. I had a choice to make and it was not easy.
Report for guard duty with my hair looking like a haystack or risk
being late because I was indulging Jane's passionate wishes?

"It'll have to be quick," I said, after a moment's desperate
consideration.

"That troubles me not." She reached out and grabbed me, and I felt
myself harden even more. How could I refuse?

I was unused to such speedy proceedings, but being Lurien, I was of
course fully able to comply. I did notice she was even noisier than
she had been last night, which made me wonder if I was doing
something different. Not much, I'd have to say, only I skipped
certain preliminaries. She didn't seem to mind.

Very soon it was over, and for a moment I lay panting on top of her,
waiting for my heartbeat to slow down.

"Again," she whispered in my ear.

I lifted my head. "What?" I could not believe my ears.

"Again," she said with a smile. "Make love to me again. That was
wonderful."

"Jane," I replied in genuine dismay, "I have no time. I must report
for guard duty this instant."

"Please," she said, batting her lashes. "Once more. Are you not
able?"

Needless to say, I could not let this pass. "Of course I am able,"
I said with just a hint of indignation.

"Then show me." Her fingers caressed the tips of my ears, sending
ripples of desire straight to groin. "Come on, Lurien, everyone
says you're such a hot ellon. Prove it."

"Everyone says that?" I asked, feeling startled and
pleased. "Really?" Surely this did not include Galadriel.

"Everyone," she whispered. "You are all we talk about."

I was beginning to get suspicious. "Jane," I said sternly, "I think
you are toying with me." I rolled off her and stood up, and did not
even try to conceal from her that my elfhood was also standing,
thanks to her teasing. Perhaps that would be enough proof.

"Toying with you, Lurien? Nay, you toy with me. I beg you to make
love to me and you spurn me. You leave me burning and feel no
remorse."

I wondered if she was still drunk. Surely this could not be
happening.

"I must leave," I said abruptly. I pivoted around and returned to
the room where I kept my uniforms. I dressed quickly and returned
to Jane, unsure what else I could say to her, but to my surprise, I
found the bed empty. Jane had dressed and gone, and on the pillow
lay a note. I scanned it rapidly.

Forgive me, Lurien. In a recent conversation with friends, someone
said that a naked elleth would distract you from anything, even your
duty. I defended you and said it wasn't true, that you had too much
honor for that. My friends made a wager, and I sought to prove them
wrong. One of them was listening outside your talan this morning,
but I do believe she is now convinced that I was right about your
honor. I leave you now to ensure I do not delay you further. The
quickie was marvelous. Your comb is under your pillow.

I had no time to read it again, but I grabbed my comb, raced to my
mirror, and quickly disentangled my snarls. I then hurried from my
talan, very conscious of several ellith standing casually a short
distance away, eyeing me with great interest, and, dare I say,
admiration?

And so my tale ends, but I will add that "Jane" did visit me later
after my guard duty ended. The first thing she did was rumple my
hair, which truly did seem to have an aphrodisiacal effect upon
her. Any listeners outside my talan must have been very bored since
for many hours there was no conversation to overhear, although I
could not say there were no sounds. Needless to say, I, Lurien, was
up to the task of satisfying the wishes of this lusty elleth well
into the night and again in the early hours of the dawn.

So what is the moral of this tale?

Firstly, duty should never be neglected. That is obvious.

Secondly, when an elleth who had always ignored you suddenly becomes
interested, it is well to question why.

Thirdly, quickies are sometimes okay if she says yes.

Fourthly, always keep a spare comb.

xxx

Please continue to read my next adventure!