"Would master like anything? We are here to serve master." Said one of the rather grubby looking house elves.
"Just go away all of you. I don't need anything!" he shouted and threw his glass of water across the floor, leaving shatter pieces of sparkling glass all over the floor.
Suddenly a thought came into his head, "Wait," They all suddenly turned on their heels with gleaming bright happy faces.
"Yes master?" they said all eager to help.
"Take this letter up to Miss Granger's room" He said as he pulled out his wand and began to write onto some parchment he found.
He scribbled for a few minutes, not really sure of what he was writing but they had to talk sometime this side of Christmas. Even if it would be awkward and difficult with his heart beating fast and his breathing increasing at an alarming rate as she would take the same long drawn out steps in that beautiful deep purple dress she was wearing that night as she leaned in to-
"No." he said firmly to himself. He wasn't going to let it happen. He couldn't, she had been one of his star pupils at Hogwarts especially at NEWT level. But he had never let her know that and never would because that was all in the past now as was the kiss they had shared three evenings ago. They both still had many evenings and days to go before the start of term so, they could both get lost in work and the Order.
He shook the thoughts from his head and scribbled the last bit of the letter on the parchment and threw it to the house elf that was beaming up to him but stopped and shook all over as soon as his menacing glare hit him.
"Well?" he said with his eyebrows raised. "What are you waiting for? Get going!" he spat coldly.
They all scrambled out of the creature's way as he rushed upstairs to the room Miss Hermione Granger was in, no doubt thinking about what had happened that night.
She hadn't been down to dinner at all the past three days and had had her food brought up to her new found residence so she could stay out of the slime ball's way. She didn't know what had come over her that night. All she knew was that she had to speak to him. She had to know how he felt, but on the surface she snorted to herself, feelings? What feelings would that be? The ones in which if he could, call her a Mudblood every time he spoke to her. That feeling was hate, below hate, complete and utter loathing. Not love or caring. What was she on about! Professor Severus Snape didn't love. He didn't have any feelings in him what so ever! He was the coldest, evilest, cruellest, most patronising git this magical world has ever seen. But if so them why did she love him? Love him! She didn't love him did she?
She was so confused that she picked up the glass goblet next to her and threw it against the door in anger. She picked up her plate and launched it against the wall next to her. Food trickling down the black walls as she did so. She had so much hurt in her right now all she wanted was to be gone. Gone from this hellhole and back into the real world, the magical world where she could see al her friends if they weren't dead already. A tear rolled down her cheek at that thought. What had she done these past years? She had let Voldemort control her entire life to the point that she started to believe she was in love with her previous Potions Master. At this thought with more tears falling over the brim of her eyes she picked up the tray that all the food had previously been on and chucked it at the door. She collapsed against the wall behind her. Her legs snaking up to her chin and her hands creeping around them as she buried her head in her lap tears leaking from their holes as the door swung open revealing the shadowy figure of a worried, scared Potions Master as the door.
"Hermione." He gasped as he rushed over to her. Scared for her safety because he knew it would have been his fault if anything had happened to her.
"Hermione! Are you okay? What happened? Are they here?" He said rather fast. Taking breathes in between questions.
He bent down to her with a scared look he had never had on his face before. He was worried for her safety, for her well being. Was she okay? What had happened to her? His face turned graver as he heard small sobs come from the curled up ball against the wall. He bent lower and was almost sat on the floor as he placed his hand on hers trying to give her some comfort. He had no idea what went on a few moments ago. He heard the noise and crashing coming from her room and thought the worst. That Voldemort had found her and killed her. But she was okay from what he could tell, just very shaken up and more beautiful than ever. He told himself to stop as soon as the thought had crept into his mind for this certainly was not the time or place that he should have these feelings. Not when she needed help and comfort.
As soon as she felt his hand upon her she torn hers away and moved further away from him, staring up at him with tear stained cheeks.
"Don't you ever touch me again." She spoke with hate in her voice. How could he do that when it was him who had made her feel this way, torn and broken inside? He had left her to feel ashamed embarrassed and filthy. How could he act this way to her now?
"Hermione, it's me Severus" He said with pleading eyes as he made his way closer to the shaking heap upon the floor.
"I'm not going to hurt you. They can't hurt you anymore I'm here now. You're safe. Just tell me what happened." He said in a soft tone that he had never used with anyone before.
"They can't hurt me? What are you talking about you silly fool. No one else hurt me apart from you." She spat at him.
He was now on his knees and a look of complete and utter shock was forming on his now soft expressional face, "I haven't done anything. I heard all the noise and it sounded like a struggle. I thought the Dark Lord had found you and hurt you. I thought he had killed you. I was worried and scared for your safety."
"Scared were you?" she said menacingly. "Scared because you thought you arse was on the line. Scared because you thought you were going to get in trouble for letting me get hurt?" She spat and got up shaking with anger and grief.
"Scared because you never really wanted this job of babysitting me in the first place and people would think that you handed me to him on a silver platter? Scared because they would throw you back to Voldemort and let him end your pitiful excuse for a miserable existence?" she said with venom apparent in her voice added with pain and hate towards the man in front of her in her eyes.
He backed away from her as he felt her words sink through him. Deep into his soul he felt them go through him. No one had ever got to him the way she got to him. Lately, just the things she would say- or didn't say- would hurt him more than anything in the world did. And this, well, it topped the whole thing. Worse than a knife going through you seventeen times. Worse than… dare he say it… dying.
He trembled as he got up from looking at her from the floor. Trembling as he tried to get these words he had in his so-called pitiful excuse for a miserable existence out.
"Scared… because I loved you." He said as he could feel a tear close to the edge of his eyes. Hurt showing in his body as he shook from the pain.
He gave her one more look of hurt inside him brushed past her slamming the door behind him.
She stood there and all of the anger and hate towards him just slipped away. The only thing she could feel now was guilt. Guilty and upset because she had got the wrong end of the wand. As per usual she judged the situation before thoroughly researching the topic. What! This is Hermione Granger we are talking about, the world bound walking, talking textbook of all the magic and relationship, friendship problems of the world. But this looked like where her intelligence ended. When it involved her and her feelings it looked like she was no better than anybody else was. She was normal.
Severus Snape, Potions Master and head of Slytherin house stormed back to his room breaking every lamp and light that happened to come near him. Chandeliers exploded as he passed from feeling the power of grief and anger that he had built up inside him. Trying to keep his feelings bottled up as he always did. Not showing how he really felt. Hiding away from the world pretending he didn't exist but the shattered remains of light along the wooden floor and runs in the curtains showed that he wasn't doing a very good job of being the old selfish, no hearted, self-centred creep that everyone had come to know and hate. The ex-death eater of the messed up world he had come to belong in was changing and he didn't like it. The change that had happened to him was causing more and more pain to be injected into his soul, which hadn't been touched in the last twenty years. And now, even after teaching the Mudblood which used to make his blood boil which only now of late seems to drain it from his lifeless corpse. Seems to leave him a hollow mockery of the human species. Now caught between worlds of whom he is and who he could be. Stuck from being in love or being alone and depressed.
The door swung open in front of him at an alarming speed. The paint on the wall flaking as the maniac door collided with the wall next to it. The house that belonged to him seemed as though it was obeying its master and his emotions all over the house. Most reactive in the area he was in or going to. Following him like a hawk. Most of the building on the second floor was destructed now and being rebuilt by the house elves. Scurrying around trying not to get in the way of others that were falling over the debris all across the floor, from shattered glass to splintered wood.