Weeks were spent alone in hell away from each other as the dust still hadn't settled from their last disagreement or misunderstanding that had occurred over month ago. Bitterness clouded the air in most of the building and could be felt where ever the perpetrator went or was close to. His feelings still fuming but the breaking of objects near to him had surpassed so he banging that echoed so loudly through the rooms of the house. His temper had been quashed for the fact that she had thought he could be worried or scared for himself about her still didn't change the feelings that he had inside of him. But knowing that she could still think of him as the evil glaring heartless old man that everyone had come to know and hate at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The only other person that knew he was an actual person, that he had actual feelings and that he was capable of loving another fully and indefinitely was Dumbledore. He had an incline in the back of his brain that McGonagall knew about it because they were always talking and she was always sighing disappointedly in his direction. So he knew that it had to be about him because she would never need to use that tone while talking about anyone else. No one else was as lonely as he was, was as empty as he was, was as alone as he was.
Hermione was alone in her temporary bedroom with her trunk placed on her bed. She had had enough of it; having the feeling she had needed her whole life stripped away from her selfishness. From her book-developed tactics, she had lost everything. Everything that mattered to her and she had never known upon that moment he had so quickly left the table that evening at dinner. She shook the thought from her head and sat on the edge of her bed. Feeling as empty and alone as Severus Snape had for the past twenty years and more of his life. But she had no idea of his feelings. The feelings that still lived inside of him this very moment. She couldn't bear to go to confirm her suspicions that he hated her because she couldn't bear to feel the rejection that she had undoubtedly felt all of her life. But coming from him it would be worse than any comment, snide remark, cruel intention she had ever been on the other end of because she really felt for him, more than he could ever know. But knowing that it was her stupid behaviour and snappy judgement just sunk the realisation deeper for her. She had thrown away the only piece of true happiness she could have had in her last years of living. Undoubtedly the reason of her death would be Voldemort. She knew that he would be the end of her ever since she had made contact with Harry. She knew that being his friend would cost her her life. But even with that fact resting upon her thoughts she would never ever have changed anything she had done with him. She loved him more than words could say. He was her family. But hr love for Harry, Ron, Ginny, everyone else that she knew and was close to, it was completely different to the love she had in her heart for the Potions Master of Hogwarts. She loved him more than anything in her life but she knew now that after her actions that he could never love her. Hadn't he said in the last words to her that he had LOVED her? Loved was the past tense and she knew that any feelings he had for her were gone after what she had done. She had just proved to him that she thought of him as the same as everyone else did an empty, hollow mockery of the human species. An evil soul sucking freak that could have no feelings only one for himself. She had just proved that she took hearsay for facts. Seeing as she was such an insufferable-know-it-all it all seemed to fit into place. Having the one piece of evidence that he was real, that he had real feelings that she loved him and that night for the longest time she had ever know a kiss, no, that was the wrong word to use. Act of love, to go on for the brief reality time, she had felt that he loved her too. But as he stopped the love he stopped the kiss last. He stopped the bond between them and left her in a state of self-hatred. How could a pureblood wizard with extraordinary talents ever love a stupid Mudblood like her?
Never was the answer to her question and realisation hit her. She would rather be in danger than be here at the moment. Even being in close-proximity with him gave her security. But it only gave her a dream that could never be made solid. To have him holding her in his arms, loving her, caressing her, making love to her. It would never happen because of her. It would never happen because of her selfishness. She blinked her eyes shut and let the tears of pain and guilt wash down her face. She brought her hand to her face and wiped the tears from her cheek and chin as she got up from the bed and continued to pack things in her trunk.
It was about an hour later when a tawny owl came flying into the Snape residence. At full speed it slammed into the window that belonged to Severus Snape's chambers. The hurt man looked up to the window with a sombre expression on his face. An owl that dared disturb him when his feelings could be felt through miles of land must be brave, or a propose. Unwillingly he got up from his desk and preceded to the windowsill brushing the dark black, gold lined curtains back so he could open the window. He sat on the windowsill as it had been put into the outer wall of the house so the sill was quite deep. Enough for a man his size and stature to relax comfortably on it. As the owl hoped into the room it looked at Severus with a glare, as if to say 'get off your arse and got get her you stupid git'. He believed that the expression and attitude must show in the letter that had been written to him. But question was who sent it? Who would know WH- He stopped dead in his tracks. He knew who would know. The person who seemed to know everything in the world and had an odd taste for sweets, Albus Dumbledore.
As he finished untying the roll of parchment from the leg of the owl it gave him a bite on his finger.
"Ouch you bloody-" but he stopped. It gave him a look of read the letter before I do something worse.
Event though he would never take a threat from a bird seriously now at this present time and knowing who the bird belonged to he wasn't going to be all scowling and evil. He had learnt by now not to cross Dumbledore. Seeing how angry he got and that wasn't often at all. He knew why Voldemort feared him and no one else. A look from Albus Dumbledore and you're dead. As easy as that. No messing about with that old fool. So for opening the letter. But what is it going to say.
Fear from the one man in his life started to spread upon him. Seeping into his skin like an unwelcome toxin. He quickly dropped the letter and ran his hands clumsily up his arms to try and rid himself of the feeling. Unfortunately it still seemed to stay there. He should just get the letter open, read it, and then do whatever it says. Or don't do whatever it tells him not to do.
He gave up trying to ignore the constant pecks and nips the bird kept giving him and picked the letter up again but this time ripping off the seal as he did so to reveal a roll of parchment written by the Headmaster himself. He sighed deeply to himself as his eyes crossed to the end of the letter. Or more of a wise phrase was what he would call it. Or maybe a command could be another way of describing it. He gripped it tightly in his hand that was now crunched up into a fist. A wave of new emotions had begun to sweep across his entire body. He dropped the note on the floor and proceeded out of the room.
Dear Severus,
My dear Professor, I know that of late I have asked you for help many a time, also to put yourself in grave danger for the sake of others. Now I have to ask you to put your feelings of hurt aside. I understand that you have been hurt badly but you must understand also that Miss Granger is also hurting too. She had been put into a situation that she has no knowledge of. She has prized herself, as you well know, of knowing everything of every situation she has been ever put in. She is scared of not being in control of her actions. It has begun to eat away at her and the one person she thought she could trust to help her through she believes has left her alone to wither away. She may be the brightest witch for a century to present herself but knowledge of ones feelings are a completely different set of rules as you know. Learning to understand herself at such a difficult time in her life will undoubtedly take its toll on her heart and on other people. What she needs now is a friend, someone to help her, comfort her, and love her. Not someone who is angry with a young woman for not knowing the truth about ones heart when they don't know the truth about it at all. All I am asking you to do is help her, guide her and most importantly, forgive her. She needs you and your forgiveness more than she needs her friends. Believe me when I say this, she has feelings for you. Don't quash them with you faade that you have been putting up for all these years. Take a chance on love one more time Severus. Don't give up on her. She needs you more than ever. And please give an old fool that loves his wish. I know you will do the right thing.
Yours faithfully,
Albus Dumbledore
Headmaster of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
P.S.
Presents like those dresses wont go a miss if you are trying to show a reason that she should have known you loved her earlier because well… I will stop being an interfering old fool.