It's me again! But this time, I popped up in the ToS section! Anyway, since I am incapable of writing serious fics, I'm just going to write another messed up one! Bwahahahhahahahahhahahhahaha…..

Disclaimer- I do NOT own Tales of Symphonia! Do you hear me? I don't! But I will soon. I am going to conquer namco but I need a gerbil army! Everyone, if you have a gerbil, send it in to me! I NEED YOUR SUPPORT!

Smart person that doesn't really exist: pay no attention to this nutcase and just read the story!

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Chapter 1: A disturbing night in Altamira

It was a beautiful day in Tethe- Alla. The birds were singing, the bees were buzzing and half elves were cooped up in dark laboratories doing slave-like labor at a minimum wage. Unfortunately, 8 heroes were not able to enjoy this beautiful day because they were busy trying to make a pact with Shadow, the summon spirit of darkness. (how original)

Inside the Temple of Darkness…

The gang was wandering around and Lloyd was whining like a baby as usual. "Why do we have to go through this dungeon? I'm TIIIIRED…" Everyone was at their wits end with him except Colette because she was… Colette! Raine suddenly turned around. "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! I'M SICK OF YOU'RE WHINING AND COMPLAINING! NO ONE HERE IS ENJOYING THIS TEMPLE AND WE CERTAINLY DON'T NEED YOU MAKING OUR EARS BLEED!" Zelos nodded. "I'm going to have to agree with Raine on this one. It's bad enough that all this darkness is killing my complexion." Sheena rolled her eyes. "Like you ever had a complexion to begin with." Zelos sniffed. "You all are so mean to me."

Genis was clutching to Raine's shirt fearfully. "Raine, those creepy shadow thingies are following me…" Presea just looked blankly at Genis. "99 percent chance that the reason is because you have been set as the main display character."

"Oh… What's the 1 percent?" Genis asked. "because you have been using Ice breakers Liquid Ice breath mint." Suddenly two monsters with girly voices apeared.

"It's liquid,"

"It's ice,"

"It's Ice Breakers Liquid Ice!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! MONSTERS!" Lloyd screamed and suddenly started slashing them apart with his swords. Presea shook her head. "Actually it's neither. 50 percent is gel, 50 percent is sugar." Through all this chaos, all Colette was doing was playing with the shadow bulbs. "You can be Sampson, you can be Bob, you can be Mr. Jim-Jim, you can be Fluffy, and you can be Floooooooooooooooooooooop."

Regal, who was taking no part in this insanity was walking ahead. "Uh guys? We're at the altar." Everyone turned and sighed in relief. Colette however sniffed. "I have to say goodbye to my shadow friends?"

"YES!" Everyone yelled in unison. The five shadow blob things then went over to the altar and slowly merged. Sobbing, Colette called out: "Goodbye Mr. Jim-Jim! I loved you the most!"

Suddenly, the great summon spirit Shadow appeared. "Me… Mithos… Pact…" Sheena stepped up in front of Shadow. "I am Sheena. I ask that thou… Uh… What was that word? Ah screw it." She then hit Shadow in the head with a frying pan knocking him out. (Shadow IS a guy… Isn't he? O.O) She then grabbed him by the tail thing and dragged him along. "Come on guys… We're out of here." Everyone cheered and ran out of the temple also bumping into a lot of stuff on the way because it was so damn dark. Colette was calling to the unconscious Shadow asking if Mr. Jim-Jim was still in there somewhere.

Outside the Temple of Darkness

Everyone quickly got on their Reihards and flew away as quickly as they could from that evil temple that everyone hates. Zelos yawned and stretched. "Well, after going through that hell hole, I think the Great Zelos, his hunnies, and the monkey boys deserve a little time off!" Lloyd, Genis, and Regal glared at him. Sheena spoke up. "You know, it's really creepy when you talk in third-person like that." Zelos just sniggered.

Genis suddenly looked frightened. "I actually agree with Zelos for once! I hated the Temple of Darkness so much, I need some relaxation. But WHY do I have to agree with Zelos!" He started shaking in fright. Lloyd started shaking as well. "I know Genis… I'm scared too…" Raine just rolled her eyes. "Dealing with you guys has been hell on me already. I do need a vacation." Lloyd perked up. "Yeah! Vacation means NO THINKING!"

Colette gave her trademark smile. "Whatever Lloyd wants to do!" Genis looked at her. "Seriously, if Lloyd told you to jump off a bridge, would you?" Colette thought for a moment. "I don't know, would I, Lloyd?" Lloyd looked up from staring at a butterfly. "Huh? Yeah sure whatever."

"Ummm… Ok then." Colette then flew down to the Tethe-Alla Bridge and landed her Reihard. She then ran over to the side of the bridge and jumped off. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaahh…." Sploosh! Sheena looked at Genis. "Should we go get her?"

"Nah, she's a good swimmer, she'll catch up to us." And with that, they flew off.

In the ocean…

Colette was floating in the water with a bunch of sharks circling her. "Um guys?... Guys? Help?"

Back on the Reihards…

"So, where should we stay?" Genis asked. Zelos started giggling like a little school girl. Everyone steered their Reihards as far away as they could from Zelos. "I think we should go to Altamira!" Sheena shook her head. "No way, not that gaudy resort!" Zelos pouted. "Aw, come on! It'll be fun!" He looked at everyone. "What do you guys think?"

"Sure, why not?"

"… Understood."

"Pretty little butterfly!"

"Oh sure, go to a NEW BUILDING! Hmf. Ruins are plenty fun."

"Might as well check up on my staff to see how things are going."

"Wait, you're all siding with the pervert! COME ON!"

"Alright, on to Altamira!" Zelos cried happily zooming his reihard off towards the most relaxing place that Tethe-Alla had to offer.

At Altamira…

The gang (minus Colette) walked into the hotel. Sheena and Raine were muttering to themselves, Zelos was flirting with the cute girls, Genis was attempting to hit on Presea, which only resulted with her inching away from him, Lloyd was staring at the big tube thing in the middle ("pretty bubbles"), and Regal was attempting to check in. Suddenly, Colette shot up in the tube thing followed by a bunch of sharks. Genis looked up. "How did Colette get in there?" Raine thought for a second. "There must be a pipe that connects this hotel to the ocean. Colette must have got sucked inwhile she was swimming after us."

"Ohhhhh…" The group chorused. Genis looked at Raine. "How's she gonna get out?" She shrugged. "Beats me. Lets go to our rooms." Everyone nodded and headed to the usual 5th floor room.

Later that night…

Everyone was sitting in the room bored. Raine sighed. "Some vacation THIS is. Zelos, I'm never letting you make any decisions ever again." Zelos, however was staring at the clock intensly and didn't answer. Suddenly, Colette burst in dripping wet and covered in shark bites. Lloyd ran up to her. "Colette, what happened?" Colette gave Lloyd an ooc glare and pulled a piranha out of her hair. She then threw it on Lloyd. "Ooooh… Pretty fishieOWWWW!" The piranha started biting Lloyd on his little nose.

"Hey, how did you get out Colette?" Genis asked curiously. "The staff got me out with a toilet plunger." She sighed. Zelos suddenly jumped up. "YEAH! IT'S FINALLY TIME! TIME TO PARTY!" Zelos yelled and zoomed out of the room. Raine looked at Sheena. "What was that all about?"

"Probably wants to go over to the casino." Raine looked appalled. "What! That's his idea of spending the evening! Well, I won't allow Genis to enter a casino!" Sheena shrugged. "Neither can Lloyd, Colette, or Presea."

"Um, I'm actually 28 you know," Presea said but no one was paying attention to her. "They could watch a play," Sheena suggested. "The theater's right next to the casino." Raine raised her eyebrow. "Well, I guess that's ok then." Tsk, tsk, Raine. You don't know how wrong you are.

Over at the Casino and Theater side…

Before the group went their separate ways, Raine dragged Lloyd, Colette, Genis, and Presea to the side. "Ok, we'll be in the casino. You go watch the play over there. We'll be out at 11:00.pm." Genis looked at Raine curiously. "Why are you going into the casino? You hate those kinds of places." Raine sighed. "Someone has to make sure that Zelos doesn't die of alchehol poisoning." Genis's face lit up. "Please let that happen to him! Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease…"

"SHUT IT! AND NO!"

Genis cowered away from his sister's wrath. Lloyd pouted. "How come we can't come too?" Raine rolled her eyes. "Because, you're only allowed in if your 23 or older. And you're 17, are you not?"

"Uh, I'm 28 you know," Presea said, but no one was paying attention to her.

"Well, we'll be off. Enjoy the play!" Raine said as she, Sheena, and Regal went in. Zelos was already inside because being the idiot that he was. Lloyd sighed. "Ah well. Maybe the play will be filled with blood and gore. What's the name of it Colette?"

"Lets see…" she said pulling out the paper that the desk clerk handed them. "It's called Fluffy Mew Mew Cuddle Kitty Cat-ville. Sounds cute." Everyone else groaned.

An hour and a half later…

Everyone walked away from the theater and it seemed that Colette was the only one who looked like she enjoyed it. "That was unbelievably cute!" Genis turned to Colette. "Are you crazy? The whole thing was pointless!" Presea nodded. "95 percent of the plot to be exact."

"Sorry," Colette apologized… AGAIN… Lloyd scratched his head. "I would have enjoyed it more if I understood the intricate details." Everyone especially Genis stared at him in amazement. "Lloyd, you know the word intricate AND details!" Lloyd shrugged. "Well, yeah. One of them that I couldn't figure out… What's a cat?" Genis sighed. "I knew it was too good to be true."

Colette looked nervously at the clock ahead. "We're a half hour late. Oh, I hope the others don't get mad for keeping them waiting." However, when they got there, Raine, Zelos, Regal, and Sheena were no where to be found. Colette put on her usual cheerful smile. "Don't worry, they'll be out any minute now!"

1 hour later…

"Yep, any minute now!"

2 hours later…

"Yep… any minute… now…"

3 hours later…

"Any… minute…zzzzzzzzzzz…" Genis suddenly woke up from sleeping on the ground. "They're still not back yet?" Presea kept standing there her eyes slowly drooping. Lloyd, well, was sprawled out on the floor snoring so loud,it couldwake the dead. All of a sudden Raine burst out of the casino. But something was different about her. She seemed ten times more energetic then in her ruins mode (now that's just scary) and she was wobbling a bit. "RUINS! I'm blowin this joint to find some precious ruins!"

Genis backed away slightly. "R-Raine?" Then, Sheena came out. She too was different then her usual self. Like Raine, her cheeks were flushed beyond belief. (Druuuunk…) "Rainey, whadya doin out here? The parties in there!" And with that she dragged Raine back inside. Lloyd, (who woke up from Raine's drunken yelling) stood up with an idiotic look on his face. "Ha! I knew it! Everyone who enters that casinofalls under alien mind control!" Everyone sweatdropped. "Actually Lloyd," Colette said, "They were all just drunk."

"Colette, I know alien mind control when I see- OOH! A firefly!" Lloyd started to chase it around while Presea stared at him. "He's 17 years old, but doesn't know when someone's drunk?" Genis sighed. "Presea, this is LLOYD we're talking about."

"Good point. Anyway, should we head back?" Colette looked worried. "But what about the others?" Genis shrugged. "They'll be thrown out sooner or later. It's late, we should get to bed. We'll see them in the morning." Genis didn't know how wrong he was… But before we find out why, lets have cookies!

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Well, what'd ya think? It's my first ToS fic,so be nice! I will NOT exept flames! I will, however, take constructive critism. Also, I apoligise if I was Colette bashing. She's actually one of my favorite characters. But, I like to make fun of the ones I love anyway. Well anyway,review,and you'll get a cookie.

Birth of Venus