Disclaimer: Don't own.
It was a few days later that Laurelyn and I had sat by the shore for hours, just talking about what we had been up to since we had last seen each other. Each day had been pretty much the same as the one before, and Laurelyn, Mary, and I were set about with tasks such as collecting firewood or berries, tending to small gardens, or weaving mats and blankets. Naneth was with us a good deal of the time, telling us stories of her people, of her island, of their language and customs. It was all fascinating, but I found myself missing Will more and more. I longed to be on the Pearl again, and Mary longed to be back at Port Royal, though to me she never mentioned it.
The sun was starting to set when a woman, a bit shorter than I, with long straight dark hair and equally dark eyes came walking up to us, garbed in a dress identical to Anamaria's. She wore a deep blue sash in her hair and from the looks of her protruding stomach, she was with child.
"Hello," she said, in a surprising rich voice. She bowed her head politely and Laurel and I got to our feet and did the same, dusting the sand from out skirts. She smiled. "My name is Taeryn. Naneth did send me to fetch you - it is nearly time to eat." I blinked, trying to place the name.
"I am Anamaria's sister, Princess," she said softly, her eyes shining with mirth. I blinked. "Pleased to make your acquaintance," I answered, automatically sweeping a curtsey. Laurelyn's mouth quirked up ever so slightly, but her eyes narrowed when they came to rest on Taeryn.
"Are you the one who was all set to marry Jack, then?" she asked possessively, the drawl from Tortuga making its way into her voice. Taeryn cocked her head to the side, her eyes flashing in the dimming rays of the sun. I couldn't tell if she was angry her not, her face oddly blank of any emotion. It was a courtier's face, if ever I had seen one. Unfortunately, I hadn't seen all that many since moving to Port Royal, where people were a good deal more open than they were in England, if I remember correctly.
Taeryn's brow creased for a moment and then smoothed, but her eyes remained narrowed - not in anger, I realized a moment later, but in pent-up laughter. Suddenly she smiled, and I could see the resemblance to Anamaria. They had nearly identical smiles.
"It did be arranged that Jack and I should wed, but I am afraid that he fled the island before that ever did come to pass," she said, turning sedately and walking back the way she had come. Laurelyn scowled and crossed her arms, marching ahead resolutely. I sighed and followed, and realized from the abrupt rumbling of my stomach that I was famished.
Dinner was not something that I could have expected. It was almost like a feast. I did not know what the occasion was, but I was grateful, for it this food was a good deal more enjoyable than salted meats and dried fruit and cold water from a secret spring in the forest. There was a great deal of fruit, but no fruit that I had ever seen before. My father was quite straight-laced and didn't normally like to try new things, and so the fruit that we had at the mansion - if any - was safe, like grapes.
On the island, though, the people ate coconuts - something that I had wanted to try but never did - and drank the milk. They ate a yellow fruit that looked like it was made of ferns, and a great round fruit that was filled of small round seeds. There were fruits of every size and color, some sweet, and some sour. I had the unfortunate opportunity to bite into a rather sour specimen, small and strangely orange in color, and when Naneth saw my face she told me, between great laughter, that it was not meant for eating but rather as a flavoring over fish.
Fish was in great abundance; clams, lobsters, crabs and seaweed seemed to be a dietary staple on the island. I nervously took a bite of seaweed - more salty than I preferred, but Mary wouldn't go near the stuff. Laurelyn, who had had more time to get used to the food, was having no problem at all and even passed around bottles of rum which she had smuggled off of the merchant vessel that brought her here.
We did not sit at a table to eat but instead sat on a finely woven mat in close proximity to the roaring fire. There were twelve other women besides Mary, Laurelyn, and myself, all ranging from ages thirteen to at least twenty-five or older. Some had skin as dark as the most illustrious pirate and some had skin only a few shades darker than Mary's. Most had dark hair, varying in shades, and none Mary's color or Laurelyn's. They were all, however, dressed in the same pure-white dresses with scarves of either deep red or green tied tightly around their waists. Most were green.
"What do they mean?" I asked Taeryn, who was sitting next to me, indicating my own red sash. She grinned impishly. "The green is given to maidens who do not be promised, and the red are for those to be married," she said. I felt my face get hot - surely the whole island must know about Will and myself. When I looked up, Taeryn was still looking at me. She was ignoring the laughter and the ruckus the other women were making - a few of the maidens had stood and were trying to teach Mary some sort of dance. Laurelyn was sitting further away from the fire with a half-empty bottle of rum in her hands, staring out in the direction of the shore.
"You should not be so afraid to marry him, Christina," Taeryn said softly, peeling an orange fruit with steady hands and a long dagger. The deep color of the blade glinted in the firelight. I felt the steady wax and wane of heat on my face as the wind changed. I bit my lip. "I wasn't…but you don't know what he did, you don't know -"
"But I do know. And you know that that is a lie; it is not the reason you ran away. Anamaria told me why you came to Jack, why you fled your own island. It does take a lot of one to leave her island - for Anamaria, part of it was Jack, but she was never meant to stay on land. And as much as Maurya does like to believe that Jack did some great evil to me by leaving, I never did love him. Tell me: Why did you leave your island?"
"I left because Will kissed Elizabeth…" I felt my voice trail off and frowned, puzzled. The excuse sounded weak now, even to my ears. It sounded more like an excuse, in fact, and not a reason to leave. I didn't know what made me leave so quickly, now. I was hurt, yes, and I had been afraid that Will would turn to Elizabeth all along…but there was something more than that. I had never been one to give up so easily, and now I felt and acute shame for the way I acted in leaving Port Royal. I remembered how I left in the middle of the night, not giving Will a chance to explain himself. I had refused to see him, after all. And then I had dragged Mary along with me, away. I thought of my father, and how he must have worried. I thought of Will, and what he must have thought upon learning of my disappearance. How guilty he must have felt - I winced when I thought of how he must have felt it all his fault. How much pain I must have caused him in my leave-taking, because of my injured pride and what I thought was a shattered heart.
I stared into the fire. "I left because I couldn't be around him when I loved him so much, and it hurt so much…and because they looked so right together, and he'd loved her his whole life since he saw her…and because I wanted him to be happy and not worry about me," I said quietly. I looked up and saw Taeryn's smile, her hand resting on her rounded belly.
"And he did follow you, leaving your sister behind on the island. So why do you be afraid now?" she asked. I felt strange, like something on this island was making me come to terms with myself. I felt bare and unable to find a place to hide. "I don't want to hurt him. It was so hard for me to put any faith in him, no matter how many times he told me he loved me. And I don't want to ever think he and Elizabeth could…I mean, with me there…I don't want to tie him down." But I was still so confused.
"Try again." Taeryn's voice was soft and deep; she knew a lie when she heard one, but she was not angry with me. Only patient. I bit my lip. "I don't know what will happen to me when I marry him," I said softly, keeping my eyes lowered. "Who will I be? Will I be just his wife, just the mother of his children? Will I be confined to his house, cooking for him and cleaning, and never feeling the ocean again?" I met her eyes, but she was silent. I was suddenly reminded of how Jack had told us that the Black Pearl was freedom. Would I ever see her again, then, if I did indeed marry Will? Would I ever be free, or would he change me? Would I change me, and want to be a proper lady, then; a proper wife?
"I have been sheltered all my life, Taeryn. I don't think you know what it is like to be the Governor's daughter and to have a sister like Elizabeth. She is so beautiful and so fitting. I wanted nothing of that when we were growing up. I wanted to play with the stable hands and the cooks, I didn't want to be powdered and coifed. I wanted swords, not dolls; books, not gems and silks. And Will…he taught me how to fight. When I marry him, will all that change? Will I have to be his little wife?"
"Do you believe so?"
I thought about that. Will had told me often enough these past few weeks that he loved me because I was not like other women. Because I had a sharp tongue and could whip him soundly with a sword. He told me he loved me because I was strong and smart, because I challenged him. It was odd, hearing that from him, after he had lusted after Elizabeth for so long. I would have thought that all the traits that made me different from her would have disgusted him, but it was not so. Except for once or twice when we had gone to save Elizabeth, Will had not tried to hinder me. At first he didn't want me to come along, but he didn't forbid it - and nothing would have made me listen to him if he had. I blinked, remembering that day when Jack had asked us how far we would go for Elizabeth, to save her. Will had believed he was in love with her then. I wondered, presently, if he allowed me to accompany them out of eagerness to save her, or respect for me.
And yet, after that he had not tried to master me. Will was not like other men, men like my father and the Commodore, who were not bad men, but merely believed that women had a certain place. They were to be looked at and admired, but protected as if they were made of glass. Perhaps it was Will's humble upbringing as the blacksmith's apprentice, or how he had started to instruct me in swordplay when we were twelve; maybe it was something else entirely, something he mother has taught him, that made him so different from other men in how he viewed women. I found myself wondering then about his mother - she must have been a strong woman, to raise a son by herself and have him turn out as fine as he did. Even if she only raised him until he was twelve. I felt a sudden pang of sadness, for Will and I had rarely spoken of his mother.
"No," I said softly. "I do not believe that Will would be such a husband." Taeryn smiled. "Perhaps things do be different on this island, Princess, but here men do not imprison their wives. They would not live long if they tried to. Maybe you will bring such custom back to your island," she said. I smiled gently, touching the ring that was still strung on a necklace and hanging over my heart. "I do hope so, Taeryn," I told her.
"Come, we must join in the dance," she said, taking my hands and leading me to the fire, where all the women of the maidens' clearing stood swaying in a circle beneath a bright full moon. The sky was clear and strewn with stars, more magnificent than I had ever seen it. Some of the younger girls had been sent to bed, and Naneth stood now, a tiny silhouette of a women in front of a great bonfire. The women must have added to it after the meal. Looking around, I realized that most of the women had red scarves. Mary stood off to the side, apprehensive and eager, hugging her arms around her. Laurelyn stood near her, almost an out cast but not quite, as she was nearer to the group than Mary was, looking unsure of whether she wanted to join or keep Mary company. From the familiarity on her face, it was clear that she had witnessed this kind of celebration before.
Naneth spoke softly, thanking her sisters for joining her this night under the moon. She bent and tossed a handful of dried leaves onto the fire, making it leap with sparks and burning the air with a sweet tangy scent. The native women danced with their arms upraised in a way that not even the common women of Port Royal would have danced. There was such a freedom in the way these women moved, a careless joy that not even I had experienced in all my rebellion. They were women, and proud of it. They were not put down by a society dominated by men - the were female, and exalted. I watched Taeryn, who was married and with child and still joyous and free. I watched Laurelyn, whose hair was shining like gold in the moon and firelight, who was so sure of her love for Jack and still so incredibly happy. I made my way over to Mary.
"What is this devilry?" she asked shakily, trembling. I smiled, wanting to throw my arms up and run about the clearing with everyone else. "Look at them, Mary. They are not like us. They don't have to suffocate in corsets and powder themselves up to be beautiful. They are like goddesses, nymphs. They do not bow to men," I said happily.
"It is sinful," she said stiffly. "It is not their place." I had never before been so divided with Mary. Of all people, I thought she would want this most of all. She, who had been a maid all her life, was turning down a chance to throw down inhibitions and be free from the sovereignty of men. But instead she crossed her arms over her chest and stood with pursed lips. "You are not going to join them, are you?" she asked me pointedly. "It is positively sinful," she continued, shuddering. But I didn't think it was, and told her so. "This is the way Port Royal should be, Mary. This is the way we should be."
"Heathendom is not something to be aspired to. Especially for one such as yourself, miss," she said quietly. She was glaring at Laurelyn, whom she seemed to have a deep seated anger toward. Even at Tortuga things were tense between them. After all, Laurelyn ran her own shop and had been Jack's lover when she was clearly not his wife. Any woman brought up in a society such as Port Royal's would feel disapproval towards some such as Laurelyn. Except me.
I sensed that Mary would not change her mind, and I didn't want to desert her, so I watched as the silhouettes flitted among the firelight with my arms pinned lifelessly at my side. I knew then that Taeryn was wrong, and none of these customs would ever make their way to Port Royal.
1.
Shortly after, while Taeryn searched my eyes anxiously as if inquiring as to why I hadn't joined everyone else around the fire, we were led to the tent where we would sleep. Mary walked in first, calmly but meeting nobody's eyes. We were to sleep on mats woven of large dried leaves, on soft sand. The night was cool, but in the center of the tent - which was larger than it looked - was a small piled of coals on which water was periodically sprinkled to produce steam and heat. We were also supplied with two blankets which was more than enough to keep us warm for the night.
Naneth bade us goodnight and left, taking Taeryn with her. Laurelyn was awake, but she sensed Mary's discontent and wished us a simple sweet dreams before laying herself down to sleep. Mary muttered something in reply and hunched down to sleep. I sat down and thought about what Mary said, how the island life was sinful. I didn't think anything so lovely could be sinful. The stars themselves seemed to shine brighter over this island than they did over Port Royal. Perhaps this island was magic, and that was what Mary feared.
I laid down and sighed, knowing that Mary really wished to be back at Port Royal. I resolved to tell Naneth that we must leave as soon as possible, as regrettable as it would be for me. I would have liked to stay here for a while to learn about the island, but it was my fault that Mary was here, and I would not keep her here longer. It was selfish of me to ask her, and I realized that now.
I drifted off into dreams filled with bonfires and large pink flowers; where I danced under a pregnant moon and Will saw me. In my dream I wasn't at all abashed, in fact I kept dancing, away from him, where he would follow. And follow me he did, into the forest, through it and to the shore where the Pearl was visible as she was anchored in the natural harbor that I hadn't noticed. In my dream we must have been on a different side of the island. Will caught me and danced with me as the waves lulled in and out and I told him, softly, that I would be his wife so long as we stayed here, on this island, and I never had to wear a corset again.
I awoke with a start, staring up at the dark black of the tent's ceiling. My first thought was of the sword that Will had made for me, and how I hadn't seen it since earlier this week. How could I have forgotten so easily? I sat up; suddenly it was incredibly important for me to find the sword that Will had made for me. It couldn't possibly wait until morning. I pulled my boots on and held a blanket close around my shoulders, for once outside the tent the air was colder than I had expected. The light from the moon and the stars was enough to see by in the clearing, but I knew it would be a good deal dimmer once under the trees. And yet, I found I had a task to perform, and nothing could persuade me to stop, even the eerie darkness of an unfamiliar island. However, I relied on the words that Taeryn had spoken to me just a few hours ago, how women on this island were not imprisoned. I put my faith in her words and walked resolutely in the direction where I thought the lagoon might be. There was no opportunity to find a torch, and I knew without a doubt that I was not allowed to be out and about at this time. I wished I had my sword, but that was what I was going to find. With a sigh of resignation, I picked up a thick branch from the ground. It wasn't as reassuring, but it was better than nothing. I reached down and pulled the dagger from my boot, tucking it into my waistband. After all, it was dark, and it would be like me to stumble and fall on my own dagger. At least sheathed at my waist it presented less of a danger to me.
I walked for what must have been hours in the forest, in some places a disconcerting silence oppressed me, and in others the forest's night-sounds surrounded me. I didn't know which I preferred, but the forest's voice wasn't particularly ominous, and so it was better than the silence that sounded as if the world had had its breath stolen.
I felt the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck raise suddenly and pulled out my dagger, walking more carefully. The moonlight lingered through the patches of the trees, but it was hardly a good source of light. I came upon large dark shapes that I slowly recognized for the stones that surrounded the lagoon and set about looking for my sword. I was so immersed in my task that I almost didn't register the snap of twigs beneath me, unnatural in the clearing that surrounded the lagoon. I spun around with my dagger held ready, fully aware that I wasn't really skilled in its use, my skin crawling.
"Show yourself," I said stiffly, my voice a good deal more steady that I would have thought. There was a dark figure to my left and I turned to face it.
"Christina?" came Will's voice from the shadows. I dropped the dagger in surprise and launched myself at him, relief making my limbs go weak. "You enormous idiot, how dare you frighten me like that!" I yelped, flinging my arms around his shoulders and laughing as he lifted me up to kiss me. He set me down abruptly and rubbed the back of his neck, but I wouldn't allow him to feel awkward. I took a deep breath to steady myself, and stood on tiptoe to kiss him on the mouth, taking him by surprise. And he was very surprised, but not so much that he couldn't react. His arms went around me as he kissed me back; his hair longer and his face rough with whiskers as he wasn't able to shave. His skin was hot as if he'd been sunburned and I realized that he wore his shirt unlaced completely. I broke the kiss swiftly, unsure and flustered, but he wouldn't let me go. I felt more breathless than if Mary had laced up my corset with a vengeance.
"Will, what on earth are you doing here?" I asked giving in to having his arms around me and his face nuzzling my neck. He smiled and kissed my shoulder, making me gasp. "Will," I said softly, pushing him away and taking a step back. I wondered suddenly if the drink - some sort of fruit wine, different from the ice cold water we usually got at meals - was what was making me so lightheaded. I sat down suddenly, because my legs couldn't support my body, and Will sat beside me.
"I've missed you," was all he said. I smiled and crawled to sit closer to him, forgiving him for everything that I never should have been so angry over; hoping he was forgiving me at this very moment for all of my fears. "I've missed you too, Will," I said, hoping against hope that he would ask me to marry him right now, because in this moment I was sure I would accept. He didn't though, just stared at me with those dark eyes of his, and I felt content anyway, because he was keeping that stupid promise that I had forced on him, the day we dueled on the Pearl.
He reached over and held up something made of metal and glinting in the pale moonlight. I saw the raven engraving and realized that he had found my sword. "Why did you throw this away?" he asked, and I could hear the hurt in his voice. "Oh, Will, I didn't! It was that awful Maurya, she found it and she flung it somewhere," I told him, taking it and feeling its solid weight in my sword hand. I held it and stood up, offering Will my hand. I led him to the shore, where the moon shone all the brighter, and we watched the waves roll in and out. I wasn't quite sure if I was dreaming or not, I felt so happy. I placed down my sword and my dagger and stepped out of my boots and left my blanket folded among them, leading Will down to the surf where he chased me among the waves. I was blissfully unaware of the chill of the night, feeling only the warmth of the sea as it swirled around me and the salt of Will's kisses as we tumbled among the waves. Later, we would speak but for now there was no need for words. I lay among the foam as it washed over me, drenching both Will and I. I ignored how my dress was the pure white that all the maidens must wear and pulled Will down to kiss me again; not awkward, not desolate, not angry or helpless but strong and peaceful, the way things feel when they are meant to be. As we staggered from the sea and slept curled in my blanket to dry in the dawn, neither of us noticed the small ship on the horizon, headed straight for this island I was beginning to think of as another home.
A/N: People asked for an update by Valentine's Day and I'm sorry I couldn't deliver. School's been hectic but here's an update, finally back on romantic track. I hope you all enjoy! Muchas gracias to MadAniviel, whose many reviews caused me to get up off my ass and finish this chapter. I apologise for any inconsistencies, but I had to change the timeframe really quick and I'm not sure if it all agrees. Review if I screwed up somewhere and you'd like to tell me. x Review anyway, though, please!