Author's Note: I just decided to toy around with an Idea I had. Please R&R and tell me If you like it
Disclaimer: I do not own Silent Hill, or any names, places, things, or concepts with In the game, comic books, or the movie coming out.
Lurking In The Shadows.
"Monday...crazy day, bad day at the office, two patients, both very difficult. One's name is Mr. Anderson he thinks he's in some kind of alternate reality, probably got Influenced by that action movie."
Gordon took his pen off the paper for a moment. He kept a diary for reasons he couldn't understand. Well he pretended not to understand because the real reason disturbed him. He needed release from his violent thoughts. Like all psychiatrists he had trouble admitting he had a problem of any kind in the mind. No matter what he did his thoughts would come back to haunt him. Severely violent thoughts at that. Sometimes when he got so worked up he would bite his finger until it bled.
"Damn boss, damn pig boss I should kill that fat fuck, cut off his nose so he looks like he has a pig snout like the pig he is!"
Sometimes it would disturb him at how he could think up such horrible tortures for people who didn't really bother him at all. Random violence Gordon was always against it but lately he couldn't help feeling negative vibes build up. Bad feelings swelled inside of him like a balloon with to much air. Eventually the surface area of his psyche wasn't going to be able to keep up with it's volume of bad emotions. He pushed these thoughts away as he got up. No need to be so depressed all the time he thought as he moved from his back room office to the hall way. It was a very lonely place he noted walking down the hall. He couldn't help seeing figures in the dark shadows where the candles lights did not reach. Gordon grabbed the railing that led to the stairs and as he did he thought he saw something off in the dark room under the stairs. It made him jump back for a second he thought he saw "...no It couldn't be" He hesitated to move like an animal noticing he's being scoped out by a larger animal. Off in the darkness of the room he could see a person silhouetted by the window. It looked like someone just standing there doing nothing, slowly breathing like they didn't want to be seen. He closed his eyes and stepped off the stairs than he opened his eyes again "nothing..." Gordon had always been afraid of the dark ever since he was a little kid. When he used to think that people where watching him In his room as he lay in bed. But of course if you stare at anything long enough in the dark your mind can play any number of tricks on you. Or so he always reasoned to himself quietly. He continued up the stairs 2 steps at a time. So unreasonably fast that he almost slipped on the second floor rug. Another feeling where all a kin too, being chased up the stairs.
He cursed himself for his childish paranoia as he entered the kitchen. The light was on making it impossible to see out the big glass wall that faced Toluca Lake. His troubles really began about a year ago. His wife Elaine divorced him saying he was to cold and distant to ever be loved. It tore Gordon apart but he moved on as he always did. They had only been married two years when she called it quits, he had called it quits long before that. After the divorce papers where finalized he ran away from the city of Ashfield. He fled to Silent Hill to get away from it all. He got a new job as a Psychiatrist for a large firm in the commercial district of down town. Ever since then he never looked back except on rare occasions such as tonight when he felt truly alone. He felt free thou, he had his own cabin at the edge of the lake with nothing but woods behind him and nothing but foggy water Infront of him. He liked It a lot he didn't even mind it creeped him out sort of. It reminded him of when him and his dad would go fishing. Secretly he hoped to one day disappear forever Into the woods, become a man of the wilderness like Boon or crockett. The clock on the wall ticked away each minute of his solitude. He popped a couple valium and sat down to watch some TV in the den. He had stolen the valium of course but he reassured himself that no one was ever going to catch him as he sank into the brown leather chair. Who could? his boss, Mr. Reynolds, was an Idiot and all his co workers are about the same In different degrees. So about every month, since he started working In Silent Hill, he would raid the prescription and sample closet.
He put the bottle down on a glass coffee table and flicked on the old tv set. It was just white snow but he still got sound, he liked to pretend it was like old time radio the old timer who ran the local news was added to the effect. He had a cheery voice, kind of reminded Gordon of the circus announcers.
" A shortage of medical supplies at Brook Haven hospital has begun to worry many municipal officials. With it being June the tourists are going to start rolling In any day folks and we need a hospital ready to handle It all. So we ask at the next town meeting that everyone donate at least some money... Alchemina Hospital has vowed to take on most of the weight until things get cleared up. In other news..."
Gordon began to dose off to the soothing voice, the valium was starting to work. All was okay , all was as it should be. His last thoughts before he drifted off to sleep in the chair where "Works going to be bad tomorrow I can feel it." The tv went on as he slept droning endlessly with local news.
Gordon woke up the next morning feeling groggy "My head feels like it's going to explode." As he came around he noticed the TV was making an oppressive noise. "Damn TV must of lost the signal." He clicked it off as he got up and threw the remote on the table. As he did he stopped. The kitchen was part of the living room so the only thing separating it from the kitchen was a counter. Where the rug ended and the tiles began had some kind of rust on it. "What the hell?" He got up and walked towards the kitchen. As he came around the counter he saw something that made his blood freeze. A gutted dog lay in the middle of the floor, little rivers of blood where slowly trickling between the tiles. "Holy Shit! this is a massacre" he thought as he stepped back. Suddenly a loud bang came from behind him he whirled around just In time to see a hand sliding across the glass out of sight, leaving streaks of blood. That was the only Incentive he needed the next second he was at the phone frantically dialing 911. "Hello?...Hello?" he looked again he couldn't believe his eyes. "It's gone!" everything he just saw was gone. The blood, the dog, the bloody streaks on the window.
The phone was a million miles away "Are you there, do you need help, hello, hello?" Gordon picked up the phone "yeah Im here." "are you alright do you need an ambulance?" "no, no false alarm" "are you sure?" "yes I thought there was a break end but a..a..pine broke through the window probably the wind knocked over a branch" "alright sir, please be more wise In your judgments next time" "yeah I will sorry for the Inconvience." He hung up the phone and looked around walking slowly and surely to make sure he didn't miss something. "I could've sworn...I just got to relax" he slumped down In his chair again. "Shit!" the phone rang scaring him out of his seat and unto the floor "oh jesus christ!" he said as he fell. He came up breathing like an old man who had just awoken from a night terror he scrambled to his feet and walked to the phone. "Hello?" "Dr. Mitchell?" "yeah?" "Gordon It's me Rich I've got some bad news...one of your patients that Abrhams guy...he committed suicide last night" "what? when?...how?" "It was at Brook Haven...he slit his wrists" "oh jesus..." He sank against the wall. "Mr. Reynolds said that If you didn't come Into work today he would understand...everyone doe's we know how close you two where" "yeah I'll sort through his files tonight" "If it's to hard. we'll get someone else to do It for you" "nawh it's alright I got it". " alright Gordon, I guess will see you tomorrow" "hey rich" "yeah Gordon?" "make It Thursday" "alright Gordon" He hung up the phone and sat down heavily at the kitchen table "oh no, no, no ,no Jesus Tom," He looked up at the ceiling fan and couldn't help remembering.
Tom and Gordon had met at Brook Haven a year ago. His firm had assigned him on as extra staff as a gesture of good faith to the community. Tom was known not to talk to anybody on the ward but he really seemed to like Gordon from the minute he walked In the room. Gordon's first day consisted of him watching how the hospital worked he was being led around the day room when as fate would have It he would sit down next to Tom. The Doctor was explaining to Gordon how the day room worked out as In files and papers and how to take numbers and prescriptions. Gordon was only half listening as the Doctor went on about things.
He began toying with his wedding band, which he still wore even though he had been divorced for 2 months at the time. Im going to get those papers I was talking about Dr. Mitchell, they'll help me elaborate on the filing system a little bit better, you can just sit tight here for a moment and get used to some of the faces" as the doctor walked away Tom began to stutter "ar...ar...ar...are you married?" Gordon looked at him for a second before speaking. Tom was a man In about his forties, he had graying hair and some age lines. I was for awhile but than we decided... well she decided It wasn't right" Tom batted his hand against his face a normal habit of his, as Gordon would find out later. "I..I..I was married once I have kids too but no ones come to see me sin...sin..sin last year, I kn..kn..kn know how it feels." Gordon crossed his leg and looked at Tom "yeah It's been tough but I've gotten through It mostly" Tom didn't seem like he was listening he was staring off Into space. His eyes seemed transfixed on an empty corner In the room that was shrouded In shadows. "Sssss..orry I was looking at the monster" Tom said rocking back and fourth "what monster?" Gordon asked more out of politeness than Interest, being a psychiatrist he had heard such things a million times.
"The mm...mmm...muuu.. monster" It came out like a sneeze "In the shadow, yy...yyy...you know only some people can see them? I..I...I can tell your one of the ones who can't...none of you Doctors can...b...bb...bb...but everyone sees them sometimes, jus...jus...just not as of..of..often as we do" This struck Gordon as Interesting. Tom had made an Intelligent statement, he had made a logical structure, a rational thought or explanation of what he saw. Gordon had never really heard anyone do that before. "What do you mean people see them sometimes?" "we...well when I was a little kid I didn't see them so much unless I was In my bed a...a...at night. Bb..b...bbut they are always there y..ou just gotta be more ss...ssensitive to your surroundings. Alll...our brains ma...ma...make them tha..tha..thats why we all see different things In our beds at night." Gordon leaned on his arm chair and resisted the urge to roll his eyes "oh jesus next he'll tell me he sees dead people like In that movie" he thought to himself. "It's like that little boy In tha...tha..that movie except It isn't de...de..dead people we..we..well sometimes It appears as someone you know whos dead, even living, bu...bu..but no matter what form It comes In It's the same thing" " "and whats that?" "ev...evil In disguise, evil has ma...ma...many diffrent faces, de...de..depending on whats In your mind" Gordon knew than he was talking about subjective realities, althou he wouldn't bet a nickel that Tom ever heard of the phrase. "and what do you see?" "I see monsters but sometimes I ss...ss..see god of course do...doo to our western religions It's the face of a chris...christian type god" Tom was smarter than he seemed.
" whats your name?" "T..T..Tom, wha..ts yours?" "Gordon" "we..well Gordon your probably going to tell me that Im talking about subjective reality" Gordon had trouble containing a look of surprise at this, I guess he lost a nickel. "But this is diff...different this Is real" Gordon looked at Tom for a long time. Tom finally broke the silence with this "Do you see it too?" "see what?" "look at those shadows" Gordon looked at the ones Tom was looking at before. "Thi...think about something ba...bad lik...like how you felt about your wife leaving you" They both looked for a long time. "do you see them yet?" "yes" "do you see the people In the shadows?...do you see there faces?" Gordon did In fact see faces he saw his father and his ex wife, he saw his mother who had died when he was 11, he saw a lot of things but he knew It was all In the mind. "I'm going to be straight with you Tom because you seem smart I think that's just our Imagination, our mind playing tricks" he looked at tom who seemed to be considering this "th...the...the mind was not built to make tricks It on...only fills In the missing spaces. If..you ere to say that just because one person sees what the ma...ma...many do not tha...than eventually everyone would be In here. We...wee only see wha...what the mind thinks we should see and only wha...what It sees."
Gordon was all alone now. He didn't have a friend left who could possibly understand him. "They got you Tom, you just got tricked by your mind" Gordon knew Tom did'nt kill himself or at least he didn't mean to. He had gotten sucked Into the "other world" as he called It once. That world of dark places and children's fairy tales. The place where all your nightmares can be seen. Only few people can see It and those people are In Mental Asylums. "I saw the other world, just...three seconds...ago" He said In a whisper. He assumed that his violent anger had put a face on the "Evil" as Tom would say. It wasn't the first time he had seen these things. In fact just recently he had been seeing them more and more but today was the strongest, being the most vivid and longest lasting. "It was like It was real...but It couldn't be. am I going crazy?" he thought to himself with his head In his hands.
He still regarded It as not real, even when he talked to Tom about It he expressed his dissatisfaction In the explanation, he was even thinking of writing a book on "Manifestation" with Tom as the main patient In all his experiments. Of course he would of gotten his colleuge's opinion first, as Gordon liked to call Tom. But now that was long gone, again Gordon was feeling like what It was to be alone. The feeling of worthlessness Is something everybody faces at one point or another In their respective lives. Now was Gordon's time.
He was overwhelmed with feelings of helplessness and self doubt. Whenever this happened he turned to his violent thoughts, he let them nurture him. Times like these made Gordon think of buying a gun. "It will be a 30-30 bolt action. I will walk Into the office and shoot everyone there for their stupidity. I will buy extra ammo so I can finish the job than I will turn the rifle on myself and..." He heard a faint rifle crack making him jump. "Did that just happen?" No It couldn't be, must of been one of those full time Hunter's In the woods mere coincidence. Gordon removed his glasses from his head and began to breath deeply.
It was a meditation exercise he borrowed from a book It helped him keep himself under control. A thought came to his head like a soft whispering "Doe's It always have to be monsters that lurk In the shadows?" His breathing became heavier he closed his eyes, a world of black was around him. "I could of killed her...I should've...I ahd every right to kill that no good bitch for running out on me!" He opened his eyes and looked up to find Elaine sitting across from him. "Shoot me!" Gordon viciously sucked In air closed his eyes and opened them again, nothing just all In his head. Gordon removed himself from the table, he almost had to pry himself from It he was so scared of what just seemed to happen.
He walked across the kitchen to the fridge and began to debate If having some alcohol so close to popping Valium would do anything. He decided It probably wouldn't and grabbed a full bottle of Wild Turkey out of the crisper, he Intended to get good and drunk before he moved on with todays events. Everything would have a drunken tint to it today, like some salt with bad food, It was the only way he could swallow It. He took too greedy swigs from the bottle and moved down the stairs to the basement hall where his Office was. He sat down at the desk, just a she ahd left It the night before and once again began writing.
"Tuesday, things have taken a turn for the worse. Tom's dead and In retrospect I myself have died a little bit. I've taken two days off to look over his files. But I'll probably commit 75 of this free time to drinking and listening to the TV. The Shadow People came for Tom, will they come for me? How will they come for me? Is the better question. What mask will evil put on It's self? What am I saying? It doesn't exist, I'm just being Irrational...again."
Gordon sat back In his swivel chair letting his weight shift his perspective towards the ceiling. "Again..." He thought back. About a week before Tom and Gordon's professional relationship ended something strange happened. Gordon saw the monsters. He saw the same exact ones as Tom did. Not just for a couple of adrenaline filled moments but for the whole night he was assigned to the Ward. It scared the hell out of him just thinking about It. They where everything the specters of childish fear where suppose to look like. Big claws, dark eyes, blood smeared across gaping mouths full of sharp teeth. For his entire 8 hour shift he was sucked Into Tom's world.
Tom's Influence was so strong and his world so big It effected everyone In different ways. Mrs. Anne from down the hall said she saw her dead daughter, Mr. Wilson said he saw Jesus Christ leading the apostles on a raid of the medicine room. But Gordon and Tom saw all of It In the same way, for what It really was...Evil. "Or was It?" He thought "How do I know It's Evil? How do I know It even exists? Mass Hysteria Is all" Like always Gordon would not admit what he felt. He was explaining It away, trying to make some rational ground In a sea of Night mares. Gordon guzzled down some more Whiskey and picked up his pen again.
"I wonder how drunk I can get before noon? Probably very and If I drink enough water I won't even have a hang over. Just the splendid feeling of being smashed. For Christ sakes Tom why?"
No matter what he did to get his mind off of Tom It always led right back around to him. A long night's drinking wasn't going to help but It couldn't hurt either. So he set about guzzling more Wild Turkey with the appropriate Intervals of writing In-between by 6:23 Pm he had exhausted It liquor supply and gone to the bathroom 18 times. He had also Succeeded In being unable to walk straight. He had written volumes Into his little desk Journal. Being unable to move good, he decided to read back some stuff he wrote, unfortunetly he had to concentrate very hard and read things twice over to catch the meaning but It went like this..
" Tom probably did himself In for release. He couldn't stand seeing that stuff about everyday, no one could. As I sit here I wonder to myself "Will I kill myself someday?" The questiopn needs an answer but I guess I'm undecided right now. I'm an Insomniac drunk, who rules the night...I need pills to make me sleep tight, I run when there's a fight, and I sit comfortably when there Is light...Bad poem or good poem who knows? No I couldn't kill myself never not until I took all that vile scum at the office down with me, and that annoying gas attendant and a large population of the summer tourists. It would have to be essential I left a legacy just so Elaine would see It and feel guilty for what she had done. I can just Imagine her sitting at home watching the news and seeing "Psychiatrist goes on a rampage killing 23 people It Is believed he was disgruntled over a divorce that happened the previous year, Clues point to a note he left behind" That would be some revenge right there, she'd probably kill herself over It...good...decrease the surplus population as Scrooge would say. I don't think I'm going to last much longer, It's getting worse, I'm seeing the faces In the shadow more often. I have a feeling I'll be joining Tom very soon. I'm becoming paranoid by strange phone calls In my dreams, yes there are phone calls In my dreams but I never get there In time to answer the ringing"
It was depressing, random, dribble, Gordon debated on weather or not to just tear It out of his diary, he decided not to "I'll keep It for an example of a crazy drunk's thinking patterns" Now that he thought about It, It was like another person had wrote It for him. He couldn't really remember anything except stopping to go to the bathroom sometimes. But that's a consequence of being drunk. He passed out at the desk, he did not hear the radio In the office turn on by Itself.