a/n: HUZZAH! I'm back. Well, I never really went anywhere, but STILL. Wow, I haven't updated in 3 whole days! That's not very long for most fanfics but for MINE it is because I've been updating pretty much everyday. But that can be forgiven because of Thanksgiving and all:D I hope you guys had a great one.

On another note (not that anyone cares) I am SOOOO pissed off right now. Why? Because my "friend" blew me off because we were supposed to go to the mall together. We set our plans in stone about a week ago and all the sudden she made other plans and we drove there for nothing. I got up early to take a shower, blow-dry my hair, put on make-up, etc for NOTHING. So today I think I'm in the mood for quite the Sakura bashing to let my frustration out on.

FlamexSage: Yessum, that be me! Mine is left-to-right. :P I'm an american, so I'll just do things in the american way. -shrugs-. As much as I would LOVE to have Shikamaru and Ino together in this fic, I really just wanna focus on the so-called relationship between Sasuke and Sakura. XD; Sorry!

NarutoBlackmail: No prob. :B OOC-ness rocks in humor fanfics.

biawutnow: Haha, Sasuke with emoticon faces. XD

Sasukeandrockleelvr: If you can actually feel bad for SAKURA, then I don't know if reading this fic is a good idea. XD She may not have a large brain but she sure as hell has a large FOREHEAD. I can't even imagine what salt-tasting cookies would taste like. -dies-

----

Day… goddamn I lost track.

Dear Diary,

Me and Ino made cookies for Sasuke! YAY! Except we accidentally put salt in them, but that's okay because Sasuke hates sweets and he probably won't even look at them and even if he DID, he'd probably throw him out. God, his attitude is just sooo sexy. I love guys who never smile! Anywho, me and Ino are kind of allies now. It's strange, competing for Sasuke's love together, yet… not. Oh NO! It's almost 8pm (oh no)! I gotta go to bed now, goodnight!

----

Next day.

"Naruto," Sakura began, with confusion in her voice. "Where's Sasuke?"

Naruto shrugged. "Who cares about that bastard?"

"ME!" Sakura cried, stomping her foot in frustration. OMGGGG I HATE NARUTO!

"So where is he?" Sakura tried again.

"Like hell I'd know!" Naruto said obviously.

"Well, I'm gonna go find him," Sakura announced, walking off into the distance FOREVER (I wish). Or atleast, for now.

"Sakura, wait," Naruto said, motioning for her to turn around. She sighed. What did that idiot want with her NOW? He was getting in the way of her seeing SASUKE, and we can't have THAT happen.

"What, Naruto?" Sakura asked, annoyed.

Naruto turned away shyly. "Why do you like that asshole so goddamn much anyways? How can you honestly like a guy who never even smiles?" he struggled out.

"Well…" Sakura blushed, her eyes turning into stupid stars again. "He's so CUTE! And sexy. And I love his cold attitude."

"Why else?"

Sakura thought for a second (wow, she did it again!).

"It's none of your business, Naruto." She declared, turning around and heading off once more, until Naruto grabbed her shoulder to turn her back around again (goddamn it Naruto, STOP! Let the pink thing leave!).

"NARU--" Sakura screamed until she was interrupted by Naruto's lips on hers. What is WRONG with you, Naruto?

"I love you!" Naruto admitted as he pulled away, while Sakura rolled her eyes. "Why can't you love me back? Why can't you just realize that Sasuke is a cold bastard that will NEVER fall in love you, probably isn't straight, never smiles, has no cool personality traits, and even if he DID go out with you would probably blow you off all the time to write angst poetry or obsess over power or killing his brother or something Sasuke-like like that?"

"HEY!" Sakura screamed. "STOP TALKING BAD ABOUT SASUKE, YOU PERVERT!" She yelled as she beat up Naruto with her stupid Inner Sakura powers.

Sakura ran off yelling "SASUKE MY LOVE!" as she left Naruto as a steaming heap on the ground. And he cried. POOR NARUTO!

About 10 minutes later, Sakura finally reached Sasuke's house by running MADLY. Why she was in such a goddamn hurry, no one knows. Because she's SAKURA.

She went over the door and started pounding like mad on his door.

"SASUKE! ARE YOU HURT? ARE YOU OKAY SASUKE? WHY AREN'T YOU AT THE TRAINING GROUNDS? OH GOD, PLEASE DON'T DIE SASUKE! WAAAAAH!" Sakura went on and on as she continued pounding like nuts on his door. Stupid Sakura.

Eventually, the door was opened by none other than Sasuke himself, and Sakura toppled right over him as she continued pounding, basically on his chest as Sasuke had this look on his face that was like, "…"

Sakura finally stopped and realized she was ON TOP of Sasuke as she began to blush un-cutely. I guess she must of thought that this was some sort of romantic sasusaku moment because this kind of thing ALWAYS happens in sasusaku fanfics. But anyways, she leaned closer to his lips, about to kiss him like there was no tomorrow because we all know that Sasuke would kiss back. Except, NO WAY.

Instead, he got up and PUNCHED HER IN THE OVARIES. Haha, now Sakura will never have children and spread her genes all over Konoha and give people rabies.

"OW!" Sakura said, grabbing the area where her ovaries are generally located.

"Get out of my house," Sasuke said. He had red spots all over him.

"Sasuke!" she cried, touching his face "gently". "YOU'RE SICK!" she brilliantly deducted. "Oh, what HAPPENED?" She demanded to know as she started bawling her eyes out because that's the only thing she can do, other than whining, biting, obsessing over Sasuke and… um, being stupid. Yeah, that's it!

Sasuke sighed mentally. He just wanted to get her out of here as fast as he could. "I guess your cookies gave me an allergic reaction. I'm allergic to salt, you know. Why the hell would you put salt in COOKIES?"

"Um!" Sakura backed away. "HEY! YOU ATE THEM! YAY SASUKE!" Sakura squealed and gave him a HUGE hug, and Sasuke died inside. A LOT. "DID YOU LIKE THEM?"

"No," Sasuke replied stoically.

"Oh…" Sakura said, dejectedly.

"Forehead!" Another voice called out from the living room of Sasuke's house.

It was Ino who emerged (duh). "What are you doing here?"

"How the hell did you get into my house?" Sasuke asked, but alas, was ignored.

"I should be asking YOU, that question, YOU PIG!"

"I'm taking care of Sasuke!" Ino announced.

"That's what I was gonna do!"

They both looked at Sasuke.

"YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME!" They both yelled at the same time.

Sasuke slapped his forehead. They still didn't get the clue?

"Sasuke! What's your temperature!" Asked one worriedly as she placed her hand on Sasuke's forehead.

"Sasuke! I'll make you some soup!" Another declared, running into the kitchen worriedly.

"SASUKE! I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR FACE IN!" Another voice screamed, as Naruto emerged from the shadows (wtf?) with a Rasengan in hand.

"Sasuke!"

"Sasuke?"

"SASUKE!"

"Hey, where'd Sasuke go?" asked Sakura.

Ino blinked and looked around curiously.

"Beats me!"

"YOU BASTARD! GET BACK HERE!" Naruto exclaimed. They all squeezed their heads through one window (because Sakura's forehead is so damn huge, otherwise they could all look through a window NORMALLY) and watched a running Sasuke as he disappeared into the distance.

"WAH!" Sakura screamed.

All 3 of them jumped out with window and began to chase him like they were angry fan girls all over Konoha.

"SASUKE!"

"SASUKE!

"SASUKE!"

What did Sasuke ever do to deserve this? Oh, woe!

--

ARGH! It totally killed me to do that NaruSaku thing. Oh well!

Hope you guys liked. :)

I'm not really sure when to end this because I have other fanfics in mind(romantic sasunaru, probably). I hate writing more than one fanfic at a time. This'll probably end in one, maybe two chapters.

Tell me what YOU guys want XD