Beautiful Lie
Another night, another girl. He would satisfy her, this he was sure of. There was never a girl that he couldn't. They used to satisfy him too, until she came along and invaded his thoughts. She had been his greatest conquest, Rory Gilmore. When they had first met, he had dubbed her Mary. She was his Mary; no other boy would get to her first. He had made sure of that.
Lie awake in bed at night
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?
(Different)
Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
'Cause this is just a game
He had spent months pursuing her. Couldn't wait to be the first to have a ride. She had resisted…at first. Then it finally happened. They were together at a party. He didn't know what had brought her there. He didn't care. It was his chance. She had, had quite a bit to drink, but then again so had he. He had lead her upstairs to a guest room. She was shy at first, but it hadn't taken long for her to get into it. He had started out gentle with her, he couldn't explain why. It was something he had never done in the past. He shrugged it off and kept going.
It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful
That makes me
He felt a hot tear on his lip, which caused him to look into her eyes, his first mistake. His heart told him to ask if she was all right, to reassure her, to do something. But no, she was a conquest, nothing more. Pursue and conquer, it was his way. Her feelings meant nothing. She was just another notch in his bedpost. She didn't stop, so neither did he. It lasted longer than normal. He was sweet to her the whole way through. They even fell asleep in each other's arms. The next morning when he woke she was gone. Leaving nothing but her sent behind.
It's time to forget about the past
(the past)
To wash away what happened last
(away what happened last, happened last)
Hide behind an empty face
(empty face)
Don't have too much to say
'Cause this is just a game
He was supposed to be the one that left, not the other way around. Again he shrugged it off. It had meant nothing to him, why should it mean anymore to her? He got dressed and exited the room as quickly as possible. Monday came fast. Everyone knew. He had finally nailed his Mary. He was getting congratulated left and right and normally he would have liked the attention, it was what he strived for, but that day was different, he worried for her. He knew full well the type of treatment she must have been enduring from the female population. The girls at their school were ruthless. He had seen her in the hall; their eyes had met for a mere second. She had put on a weak smile and walked on by. In that second he had seen the pain in her eyes. All he could think of was comforting her and telling her everything would be all right. No, she was strong; she could get through it on her own. And anyways, what did it matter to him? It didn't, that's what he kept telling himself.
It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful
That makes me
It took weeks for things to die down at school. He spent those weeks trying to forget about her. She had clearly forgotten about him. His stride hadn't been broken, he had continued to nail and bail, willing victim after willing victim. But things were different; his heart was no longer in it.
Ohhhhh
EVERYYYYYYY
one
Everyone who's lookin' at me
I'm running around in circles, angry
Acquired desperation's building high
I've got to remember this is just a game
He couldn't look the girls in the eye. Afraid of what he'd see. Afraid he'd catch a glimpse of himself, afraid of who he was. It had been so different with her. He had enjoyed making love to her. And that's what it had been, making love. He hadn't realized it at the time. In truth, he might have, but he had pushed those thoughts away, not wanting to admit to himself that he had fallen for someone. Truly, madly, deeply fallen. Tristan Dugrey was not one to fall in love. It wasn't what was expected of him. It wasn't what he expected of himself.
So beautiful, beautiful, it's a beautiful (lie)
So beautiful, beautiful, it's a beautiful (lie)
So beautiful, beautiful, it's a beautiful (lie)
So beautiful, beautiful (lie)
So, instead of accepting his feelings and attempting to win her heart he kept to his usual routine, ignoring his breaking heart. Ignoring the emptiness he felt inside. He tried everyway he knew to get himself to feel. But he knew it wouldn't happen, she was the only one that could make him feel. The only one that had ever made him feel.
It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful
That makes me
He told himself over and over that he would be fine without her. He had to be. She was just a girl, no one special.