Chapter 4

He broke my heart. At age fifteen, he broke my heart. I never thought this would happen, ever. I had him; he was mine. Even though we were no longer friends, I knew that I still had him. It was just the principal of things. It was the summer where I finally understood change. Maybe I understood it then, but I never experienced it. I knew Inuyasha was no longer my best friend and hasn't been for a year, almost. I remember this clearly. It was summertime in Greece, our parents' annual trip; he took me into his arms and said, "Promise me that we would go on and whatever happens, Kagome, we'll go on forever. I mean it, I swear." And then he kissed me and broke my heart.

So I'm standing here, lingering on the stairs, watching him flirt viciously with some young sophomore or something, and I feel a pang in my stomach. It was almost what he did to me. And I know the young girl has absolutely no chance of resisting him. Despite his temper, he is a charmer. You want to believe him, even if you do know he's lying. Inuyasha has a special knack for that, like father like son, like brother, like brother.

His elder brother, Sesshomaru, is exactly the same way: charming girls from left to right, and as good looking as the Valentines are, it didn't matter if they were either seducing a woman coldly, or seducing many women at the same time, they always get what they want. It's the Valentine charm.

I sigh, making my way down the stairs, sending brain waves to Inuyasha to pay attention to me hopelessly. Likewise, as much as I want to believe that I am some type of psychic, the brainwaves were ignored.

"Kagome!"

"Kouga." I smile, even though I don't mean it.

Kouga means well enough, and he knows that I don't love him. But he's the only one at this party that I know other than Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango, who are helplessly entangled in each other. I don't know how I found myself here, other than Kikyou picking me up and telling me there was a party at some person's house and we were going. I don't know where she is now, all I know that she and Inuyasha are not together. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad.

"Will you have this dance with me?"

"Kouga," I speak slowly, "Nobody's dancing."

Kouga's eyes twinkle mischievously as he leans into me, "Because they don't have the rhythm of love in their hearts. Come on, Kagome, it's only one dance."

I look around me again, watching everybody; everybody seems to be entangled in somebody. And it hurts because I know that I want something like that. No, I want more... I want a grand love and romance, heart stopping, heart shaking, breath taking, undeniable, real love. I want love like in the movies, where they ride into the sunset locking lips. I want love that the sun shines upon and the birds chirp for. I want love, and at fifteen, I thought I had that. Even though Inuyasha and I were no longer speaking, I had a good imagination that the reason why he wasn't speaking to me was because my presence made him mad with love.

But I loved him for the wrong reasons. I thought it would be romantic for two best friends who had fallen out, realizing that they were meant to be with each other and love each other for all eternity. I was a fool. And I hate being made a fool out of, even if I was the one who did that.

"Kagome?"

I blink slowly, looking up into curious gold eyes. "Er… Yes?"

How did I get here? I think, and I remember me saying no to Kouga again and walking outside, where I am currently, on the bench. Weird.

"You look pretty out of focus." He replies, tugging at his silver hair, "Any reason why?"

He's the Casanova of Tokyo and he's going to break my heart. My heart is going to be shattered into a million pieces and I will no longer be able to love again. That's what men like Inuyasha do; they leave a trail of hearts behind them and mine is going to be one of them.

"No reason." I blink again. "No reason at all."

You're going to break my heart, you know it and I know it, I think. It's the circle of life. If Inuyasha doesn't break my heart, the circle is broken. But since Inuyasha is breaking it, then the circle will continue being a circle and continue moving on.

Inuyasha grins, "Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?"

"Nobody," I say haughtily.

"Oh come on, Kag, I know you better than you know yourself and I know—"

"Bullshit," I whisper.

"Excuse me?"

"Bullshit!" I yell, "It's been four years, you think you fucking know me? Think again, Inuyasha. You don't know anything about me. Not anymore."

"I thought we were past this?"

"I don't know what we're past; I just know that you don't know me like you think you do."

"Then let me get to know you better? Please?"

"No."

"No?" He says, astonished.

"You're going to break my heart, Inuyasha. I don't want you to break my fucking heart."

"I'm not going to break your heart. I'm not. What makes you—"

I feel tears skidding down my cheeks. "It may not be your intention but that's what's going to happen. I'm going to make the mistake of falling for you and end up with my heart in the dirt and my pride between my legs."

"Kagome."

"No. Please." My voice breaks, "Please. Just leave me alone."

"No." He says firmly, "I want this to stop. I want us to be the way we used to be."

"That's never going to happen. Ever! You're living in a fantasy world, Inuyasha. Nothing can ever be the same again. Ever."

"Well I want it to be!" His voice cracks, "Please. For me?"

I realize this isn't about me but about what's going on in the Valentine family. His parents are getting a divorce. Reality is not something Inuyasha wants to live in right now. Reality is not real enough for him.

"I can't live in a world of make believe. Sorry."

He smiles shakily, staring intensely at me, "You're breaking my heart, Kagome."

"I don't-"

"Don't." He says, "You know what you're doing and you feel great about it. Is this revenge for what I've done almost four years ago? Is it? Do you like making me suffer?"

"No." I shake my head, "It's not like that at all-"

"It is. You think you're so fucking wonderful, don't you?"

"Excuse me?" I'm a little surprise, I mean, where did this anger come from?

"You think just because you never ditched a friend that you're some sort of god! Well you're not. You're just as guilty as I am. You're just as human as I am. You think I haven't noticed that your shirt is desirability low or how lush your lips are even if you're speaking nothing but of vile and hatred? You think I haven't notice how much both of us have changed?"

"What the hell does any of this have to do with anything?" I ask.

"It has to do with everything. You're afraid of change."

"So are you."

"So am I." And he leans in to kiss me.

It's the second time I've been kissed and out of anger and out of hate, and I don't really care. I don't really care anymore. I need him more than anything.

Thanks for anonymous-miss for editing this.