Chapter Three: I Don't Mind
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Today's chapter is brought to you by, "The Howling," another werewolf movie I just happened to watch. It's amazing, a terrific horror movie that scared me a couple times. This werewolf is a two-legger, and can only be killed by silver bullet. However, it doesn't just turn on the full moon; it's a shapeshifter, and can shift into werewolf form at will. Quite cool. A reporter is lead to a colony with her husband for some R&R, and finds out that the entire population of about ten are werewolves. It's really cool. Much better than last chapter's recc.
ANYway… read on!
Sorry about delay, really I am!
'Mon Dieu' also means 'my god' depending on the situation. Like the one in this chapter, for example. You'll see what I mean. Cheers!
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Remus shifted through his mail at breakfast, taking note of the Daily Prophet and of an envelope from his family. Setting those aside he picked up an unmarked packet bearing his name. Tearing it open and tossing it to the table, he waited to see if there was a hidden spell or anything. When nothing happened, he picked it up again and pulled out a thin sheet of parchment. The lettering was done in red, with a small cosmos border along the top and left side.
Remus,
I think that if I approached you in person, I would only start to stutter and forget everything that I had to say. No…I know that that's what I would do. I've tried many times over the years that I've known you and liked you and each time has ended with me stumbling over my tongue trying to merely to say hi. So…hi. I've known you since first year, noticed you since first year, and I think that I like you more and more with each passing day. It's been a long time, and now we're fifth years and I have to say something before I combust from the silence.
I think…I think that I'm in love with you. There. I've said it. I love you. I love how you treat everyone with respect and with kindness, and I love that there seems to be nothing bad or evil about you. I love the way that you are able to look around you and see what/who people and things are, and not be afraid of it. You're the most intelligent, most thoughtful, caring person I've ever met and in addition, you are downright gorgeous! Maybe I'm too forward in saying such things, but I think that you need to know, that you have the right to know.
I love you, Remus Lupin, even on those twelve nights of the year when no one else can.
It was unsigned and Remus stared at it for what seemed like ages. While the letter in it was shocking enough, the last line was startling and horrifying.
Even on those twelve nights of the year…
Someone knew his secret.
"Moony?"
Remus jumped away from the voice, knocking into the fruit bowl and sliding down the table bench at least three feet. James and Sirius stared at him and Remus stared back. It was times like such that reminded Remus' two best friends that he had heightened reactions and senses.
"Are you all right, Moony?" Sirius asked. "You look as if you've seen Lucius in his underwear."
Remus stared at them still, elbow sitting in the butter dish, and hand gripping the letter tightly. He ran a hand through his hair, and shoved the paper at the two boys. They took it from him with confusion, and Remus righted what he had disturbed on the table, ignoring his buttery sleeve.
Sirius's face paled from the first few sentences, and James' eyes narrowed as he read on. The instant that both boys reached the last line was visibly seen as they blinked and looked at Remus.
"Who's this from?" James asked.
"I don't know." Remus said, fastidiously folding a napkin. "I don't know."
Sirius sank down beside Remus. "Shit."
Remus unfolded the napkin and jerkily redid it. "Shit is right. What am I going to do?"
James sat down with them, calmer about it. "What can you do about it? There was no name on it."
Remus shook his head. "I could do some tracing spells…maybe a event recall on the letter, but that's a bit advanced even for me."
Sirius slung an arm around his shoulders. "We'll help you in any way that we can, all right?"
"Yeah." James gave him back the letter. "Even if I have to cut into my Quidditch time." He said with a grin.
Remus smiled. "Thank you." He shoved the letter into his pocket, only half-listening as James and Sirius leapt into a conversation of possible suspects. Someone knew his secret.
Someone knew his secret.
Remus spent the rest of the day feeling edgy, jumping at noises that his sensitive hearing could hear, and being alarmed by people he barely knew who were watching him. Sirius, for his part, stuck close fending off cheerful people, who only wanted to greet Remus, with a growl and a glare. If he had been his 'Padfoot' form, his hackles would have been up. James scouted the crowds with an almost comical detective persona, Peter watching people suspiciously at his side. If Remus weren't so frazzled, we would have laughed. From the way his friends were acting, you would have thought that it was a matter of national security. But that's how they were; if something bothered one of their group, no matter how small it was, they would leap to the defense. This applied even to Peter, who was the least likely of them all to do so.
Remus' apprehension dimmed only slightly when, that night, he was hunched under the invisibility cloak with the rest of the marauders, hustling through the hall quickly. Silent and swift, they paused at the same time, peering around a corner and then dashing down another corridor. It was a practiced routine that they had perfected in their five years with the invisibility cloak. With all the sneaking around they did, it was hard not to learn the art of soundless movement. It had gotten them out of a fix more than once.
Reaching a portrait of a faerie surrounded by flowers, James stuck his hand out and pointed at a few of them in succession. The faerie giggled, sprinkled them with gold dust, and they passed effortlessly through the wall that the picture was on. Once on the other side, the cloak was swept off, and the four boys looked around the room. It had been a room that they had found a while ago, and it seemed like no one but they knew where it was. With this knowledge, it was a fort of sorts, with a large chalkboard, and a long table set in the room. A few lanterns sat on shelves and wooden chairs surrounded the table. A fireplace roared in the corner, and a bookshelf near the back of the room could be pushed aside to reveal yet another hidden passage. A perfect base of operations.
The four of them spread out and sat in their unofficial places; James was at the head of the table Sirius and Remus on the right side. Peter was on the other, and there were two spare chairs. James, after they had sat in silence for a minute or two, got up and picked up a piece of chalk. He paced back and forth in front of the chalkboard. "Now. Do we have suspects?"
"No."
"Nope."
"I don't think so."
James looked at them. "Well. Now what?"
Remus took the letter out of his pocket, smoothing it on the tabletop. His hands shook slightly. Unseen by the other two boys, Sirius rested a hand on Remus' thigh, under the guise of peering closer at the letter. Remus looked at him, startled, but it turned into a look of gratitude. A moment later, Sirius stood to pace beside James.
Remus drew out his wand. "I suggest a locating spell." He said. "I'd do an Item Memory Recall, but I really don't feel up to it."
James and Sirius nodded in unison. "What do you need?" They chorused together.
"Um…a sheet of parchment, ink and something to write with." There was a flurry of activity as three of the four marauders scrambled for such supplies. After they were resting in front of Remus, they all watched expectantly.
"Now what?" Peter asked. Remus didn't respond, but muttered, waving his wand over the quill and ink. "Noter…" Moving his wand over the note, he said, "Se rappeler, reconstruire, reveler votre auteur…" He dipped the quill in the ink, and set it on the parchment. "Aller." [1]
The note glowed for a moment, fluttering on the table. The quill stood up, and started scribbling across the parchment piece, drawing and reconstructing a face. The four boys watched, fascinated, as the quill promptly drew the person who had written the letter. When the quill fell to one side, and the note stopped fluttering, there was a silence as they gazed at the face.
"I don't know her." James said.
"Me neither." Peter agreed.
Sirius and Remus were silent. Remus picked up the parchment leaf carefully between two fingers. "It's Ursula."
"Ursula Rayne." Sirius repeated softly.
In finding who it was that had sent the note to Remus, the four marauders made their way back to the Gryffindor Commons room, narrowly avoiding the Bloody Baron and the Grey Lady. The ghosts had been walking that night, and it caught them off guard.
"I wish they would have a pattern or something…" James muttered. "We almost always run into them…" After that, there were no more incidents, and they made it back inside the Tower with ease.
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Remus tied his tie carefully, heart pounding as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. He felt better. Full moon had been a full three days previous and nothing unusually terrible had happened. Today he was going to approach Ursula. He had to, he'd put it off long enough, but that didn't make him feel any braver. He wanted and knew that he had to do it by himself, but some part of him wished that he could have Sirius along with him. … For…companion sake…that's all…right… Then a part of him briefly wondered how Sirius knew Ursula.
Thump. Thump, thump.
Tucking that line of thought away for later, Remus turned around, pulling out his wand. Peter's wardrobe on the other side of the room was moving.
Thump, thump.
Carefully, running over a list of defensive spells he could use, approached the wardrobe carefully. It wasn't one of Sirius' or James' pranks; they were downstairs already. There had to be some sort of creature in it. Counting to three, and making note of his chosen spell, Remus threw open the oak doors. Out fell three torn up shapes, and a large animal burst out behind them, feasting on a fourth. Forgetting every spell he ever knew, Remus backed up frantically, wand dropping from numb fingers. He backed into a bedpost.
"NO!"
The terrified scream echoed down the stairs and all three marauders looked up at the same time. They were finishing last minute homework before they went to breakfast.
"What almost sounded like –"
"Moony." Sirius said, interrupting James. He leapt to his feet, sending a pot of ink onto the carpet with a smash. Sirius scrambled up the stairs three at a time, James and Peter a half of a step behind him. The dark haired boy kicked the door open, coming to an abrupt stop at the scene before him.
Remus crouched in front of the wardrobe, the bodies of James, Peter and Romulus around him. Their eyes were wide and blank, throats torn out and bodies covered in slashes. Remus, his mouth covered and dripping in blood, viciously bit at a second Sirius' shoulder, holding him in an almost loving embrace. A large wolf sat nearby, tongue rolling out in silent laughter. Sirius was both horrified and confused, watching dumbly a James stepped over the Quidditch player's own mangled body to grip Remus by the arms. Remus looked up with glowing eyes, and the entire scene changed. Lily Evans slumped on the floor, broken and bruised, her hair disheveled and her clothes ripped. The bodies on the floor vanished. James drew away as she cried, his wand appearing.
"A boggart." He said. "Riddiculus!" There was a loud snap.
Sirius didn't see what happened after that. Peter was hurriedly distracting people at the door, explaining that there was a boggart in the room. Some left, and others still wanted a look, curious as to all the noise. Peter dealt with them as James worked on the boggart, and Sirius followed the shuddering sobbing that he heard, going past Remus' and Peter's beds. Sirius found Remus – the real one – curled up in the space between James' bed and Sirius' night table.
"Moony?"
The boy flinched, fingers twining in the bed sheets. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and his throat worked silently. Through gritted teeth another sob broke free, and Sirius knelt beside him.
"Ah…Moony…" The boy flinched again, and Sirius took him into his arms. Remus' fingers pulled on the bed skirts but then broke free to tangle in Sirius' long hair, drifting near his waist.
"Mon Deiu…" Remus choked out. "I'm sorry, so sorry…"
Sirius tilted back Remus' head. "Look at me, Moony."
"I can't, oh God, I can't."
"Please, Remus, look at me." Sirius didn't know why it was so important, but it was. "Please…"
Remus opened his eyes a fraction of an inch, staring mournfully at Sirius. Tears glimmered awash the amber orbs. Amber. Not yellow.
"It's just a boggart, Moony." Sirius murmured, resting his head against Remus'. "It's all right."
There wasn't an answer, except for the tightening of arms around Sirius' waist, and the haunted look in Remus' eyes.
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That afternoon, Remus approached the Ravenclaw table, inwardly wincing as he prepared to interrupt a conversation of giggling girls. After the incident with the boggart, he felt he could face anything else that day. He could pick up Sirius' name, and references to his looks. Some of the things said made him want to flee before he heard the really juicy bits. Remus braced himself, and tapped one of the girls on the shoulder.
"Ursula?" He said. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"
The girl's eyes lit up as she saw him, and she shyly approached him. The girls behind her giggled, and Remus drew her to one side. "Yes, Remus?"
Remus held up the note between two fingers, one eyebrow raised. "From you?"
Ursula gasped, eyes widening. She linked her hands before her, blushing deeply. "I didn't think that you'd be able to figure it out so quickly… I only sent one…"
Remus ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I can't say that I expected this, but…" He paused. "I don't know if I can –"
"Do you want to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" Ursula asked brightly. Caught off guard, Remus waited. "We could go to a café and talk, if you want."
Remus sighed with relief. "Yes, that would be much appreciated." It would be easier than trying to ask questions he didn't want overheard in the Great Hall. Ursula smiled and made a pleased sound, clapping her hands. She gave a half hug to Remus, saying that she would wait for him in the Entrance Hall at 10 o'clock. "Wait!" Remus called, as she bounded off. "You won't tell anyone about my…situation, will you?"
She waved a hand at him. "No, of course not." She turned and sat among her friends, sending up a new array of giggles and whispering. Remus, feeling as though he'd been thoroughly ruffled, put the note back in his pocket, and retreated back to the comfort of the Gryffindor table, where James had been giving thumbs up to show his support.
"So?" He asked. "What's the story?"
Remus poured himself a big cup of tea. "We're going to a café tomorrow, and she's going to explain."
"Good job." James said, nodding. "Get her on a date, and –"
"It's not a date!" Remus said quickly.
"Café? Prearranged time? No adult supervision?" James raised his glass in a toast. "That sounds like a date to me."
"Is not!" Remus said. "Sirius-" He stopped. "Um…"
James leaned forward, interest shining in his hazel eyes. "What about Sirius?"
"Nothing."
"No, no…go on. What were you going to say?"
Remus scrambled for a cover-up. "I was saying…seriously…it's not a date." Remus downed his tea and fled.
James chuckled to himself, eating one of the chocolate snitches that Lily had given him for his birthday. He hummed, a plan forming in his mind.
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[1] Record… Recall, reconstruct, reveal your writer… Go.
Remus: Sirius, guess what!
Sirius: ::sighs:: I know that there was a new shipment of chocolate at Honeydukes, Moony.
Remus: O.O THERE WAS A NEW SHIPMENT OF CHOCOLATE AT HONEYDUKES??
Sirius: Um *fidget* Noooo…
Remus: XP Don't do that! … Anyway… I found a constellation in the sky called Lupus.
Sirius: So?
Remus: It's the wolf constellation.
Sirius: Cool.
Remus: Yeah… Now, about that shipment…
Sirius: -_-;;
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