Chapter Six: Love Lives

Not mine. Never is, is it?

Today's chapter features messy love lives and messy bloody dream sequences. No connection, though. Oh. And Sirius in a towel. Holding Remus.

-grin- Most of this chapter was written in the moon-hours, so I blame that. Read on!

Flashbacks are in bold italic.

Welcome, Kelsey, to the USS Puppy Love! (SBxRL supporters). You'll love it here, just as I'm hoping you'll love this next chapter. Cheers!

He was swimming in the lake on a bright summer afternoon. Faintly he realized that he was naked, but the knowledge didn't serve to unnerve him. The water swirled pleasantly around him, warm and fluid – he felt as if the lake was protecting him. Time dragged and for a moment it was perfection.

Only for a moment.

Teeth latched onto his left thigh and pulled him beneath the water. His first instinct was to scream, but since the bite, survival instinct was automatically acted on. He held his breath clawing at the suddenly murky water as he was dragged further and further down… Bubbles rose around him and the teeth left his flesh; before him floated a large, very blurry blot of fur. He could see the gold sight of the wolf – he could recognize it even though the water was filling with color – with his blood.

The wolf snarled in the liquid, ghosting around him as he shot to the surface of the lake. The animal surfaced with him, treading water and laughing in a wolf-like manner. He couldn't breathe…he couldn't see anything but the golden eyes and the crimson waters…couldn't taste anything but his own fear and the copper liquid on his tongue…couldn't think of anything but the dark scarlet waves threatening to swallow him up…

Remus screamed as he woke, thinking the blood of his dream had somehow leaked into reality. There was red – so much red; the curtains, the sheets, even the air around him! The blood! Why the blood? He screamed and screamed again, thrashing about in the small confinement of the closed off bed. His fingers sunk into the thick fabric of the drapes, and he pulled on them, his unnatural strength tearing them easily from their anchors on the top of the bed. Remus screamed a fourth time as they landed on him, heavy and suffocating. He clawed at the material, mind black with fear and terrified frenzy.

"Remus!"

Someone was pulling the heavy drapes off of him, pushing though them to get to him. Sirius' face popped into view, eyes wide and hair bubbly with soap. Somewhere, a vague part of Remus knew that Sirius had come running from the boys baths – there was a towel around his waist, hastily wrapped.

"The blood!" Remus screeched, and the vague voice of serenity and reason fled. He fought against Sirius with fists and feet. "It surrounds me!"

"Blood?' Sirius repeated in an urgent panic, "What are you tal-"

The young werewolf rubbed against Sirius hard, turning his head into the familiar chest like a cat would. "It fills my head – tempting and seeping into my mind! Make it go away!"

Seeing Remus's terrified glances at the fallen curtains and the sheets that were shoved into one corner of the bed, Sirius tried to stand up. Remus made a noise that sounded disturbingly like a whine, and wrapped his arms around Sirius' torso, preventing him from moving anywhere. Sirius made an exasperated sound, leaning backwards to reach across the gap between his bed and Remus'. One hand was firmly clenched around the towel, though the fabric had ridden up anyway, a while ago.

"Please," Remus whimpered, burying his lips into Sirius' collarbone and talking into his soapy skin. "Please make it go away…"

"Latinum!"

Remus gasped as the blood faded away, blue filling the curtains and sheets. Sirius wrapped himself around Remus, cradling him in his arms like he were a child. Through the damp strands of Sirius' hair, Remus watched anything red in the dorm flood with pigment, and turn blue – the beds, the paintings, the carpets – even James' Quidditch robes, hanging nicely on a hook in the wall. Remus gave one last gasp and fell limp, emotionally drained. Sirius grunted and shifted his position.

"Moony – you all right?"

Remus exhaled noisily as he subconsciously ran shaking fingers down Sirius' bicep. He repeated the motion again and again, as if he were trying to soothe both himself and Sirius. The barely-clothed boy shuddered and pressed his face into Remus' hair. They sat like that for a long, tense moment, looking for a level of calm that seemed so far away.

"Gentlemen!" James burst into the room, causing Remus and Sirius to leap apart. Sirius made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a yelp and snatched a pair of jeans off of his night table. The seeker didn't even notice, and stepped over Sirius as the half-naked boy hastily pulled the pants up around his hips. The towel fell to the floor as James paced the space at the foot of Peter's bed.

"I have a problem," He stated loudly. "It seems that Lily is under the impression that I am a bit insensitive." He leaned over the two boys, hands planted firmly on hips. "Am I insensitive?" Remus and Sirius stared up at him, watching James tap his foot in the navy bed curtain on the floor. "She said I'm unobservant and self centered! Am I unobservant and self centered?" Behind him, a chair fell over, sending a pile of blue Gryffindor scarves to the floor. "Well? Am I?"

Remus rubbed his eyes, still trembling. Finding his voice, he said in a quavering tone, "No, James… Of course not…"

James opened his mouth to respond, but suddenly stopped, peering curiously at Remus. "Are you okay?" He asked, glancing at Sirius suspiciously.

The door to the dorm swung open again and there was a loud gasp, "…What happened in here?" Peter stood aghast on the threshold into the dorm.

This finally caused James to take notice of the room, "Good Godric!" He said, eyes widening as he saw the messy blue state of everything. "What in the name of Quidditch happened in here?"

"Bad dreams," Remus muttered, noting that James' snitch was fluttering around near the window. Fortunately enough, the small gold ball had somehow escaped the spell that Sirius had cast.

"Well," James decided, nudging the curtain on the floor. "Always wanted a change of décor anyway…but blue?" Sirius shrugged at him. "Ah well, better than Slytherin green, right? Blue's okay."

"Er…" Sirius strategically stepped to his left, putting two beds and a trunk between himself and James. "Then I wouldn't suggest turning around..."

Naturally, James did. "Why, what could you have - MY QUIDDITCH UNIFORM!"

"Now, James, let's not be—"

"C'MERE!"

"Ack!"

"You're breaking up with me?"

Remus sighed and shook his head. "See, that's the thing, Ursula… We were never together."

"What are you saying?" She said, eyes starting to tear. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Though his tactic of facing Ursula after a traumatic experience had worked the last time, Remus had come to the conclusion that it had been a freak accident of luck. The pretty Ravenclaw was sitting across from him at the Gryffindor Table, dressed in robes as blue as James' Quidditch uniform. She had been ecstatic to be invited to sit with him before breakfast, but that enthusiasm quickly turned to dismay when she realized the nature of the meeting.

"I was…never under the impression that we were dating," Remus said, mentally wincing as a single tear made its way down the girl's flawless cheek. He prepared himself to say the words of doom. "I've always considered you my friend, Ursula, but…nothing more."

Steeling himself for the reaction, Remus waited. Ursula simply stared at him, face screwing up in a crushed look. She let out one sob and fled from the table, running out of the Great Hall. Her friends at the next table over either glared darkly at him or gave him a shocked look. They soon stood up and followed her out of the hall.

"I must be the worst person in the world," Remus muttered to the tabletop.

"Could you tell Lily that, because she's under the impression that it's me." James plunked down in the previously vacated spot, and rested his head in his hands, his elbows on the table.

"Still no luck with her?"

"She called me a self absorbed, high-minded, egotistical glory-seeker."

"No, huh?"

"No."

"What'd you do to make her so angry, in the first place?"

"I cancelled a date because I lost track of my snitch."

"And what'd she say?"

"That the snitch wasn't the only thing that I'd lost that afternoon."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Then she said she needed a break and that I needed to get my priorities in check."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"So she's…making you choose between her and Quidditch?"

James poked at the table with one finger, "Yeah," He said unhappily, "I think she is."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," James said. "I really like her, but I don't want to have to choose between her and Quidditch. The sport's all I've dreamed about since before I came to Hogwarts." He stretched. "I know I asked you the same thing this morning, but… Am I really all she says she is?"

James stared seriously at him, and Remus was granted a brief, rare look at James' insecure side. Until that moment, the russet-haired boy wasn't sure it even existed. The proud self assured face that James had on the pitch followed the seeker everywhere he went, in everything he did and everything he said.

"Maybe a little," Remus said with a cringe, "But that's who you are. I'd be afraid if you didn't have the Potter Ego trip every so often."

"I'm not self-absorbed," James grumbled. He propped himself in a sitting position, satisfied that Remus was on his side. "So maybe I don't notice things like new hair clips and stuff. Besides, when I look at Lily, that's not what I'm looking at. I just wanna see her, you know?" James flushed self consciously, as if realizing what he just said.

"You should tell her that." Remus said.

"I did. She called me a slob," James frowned and snatched a roll off of one of the wicker baskets on the table. Slowly the food was appearing, and students were filling in from their dorms and pre-lunch classes. "I think she got the wrong idea…"

"Well…tell you what," Remus poured himself a cup of pumpkin juice. "I'll talk to her, see if I can't get her to lighten up a little. But you've got to start treating her nicer."

"I do!"

"And don't make her feel like she's number two in your life."

"I don't!"

"You do, Prongs. Not on purpose, but you do. Make her feel special."

James crossed his arms as his plate appeared, looking for the entire world like he was pouting.

"Hey, Lily! Hang on!" Remus jogged down the corridor and through a throng of arguing fourth years to catch up with the redhead. She turned around and waved brightly to Remus. Lunch had finished ten minutes ago, and there were only three classes left in the day. Lily and Remus shared the next class together – a double Arithmancy.

"Remus, I heard about Ursula," Lily said apologetically. "Painful break up, eh?"

"Yeah," Remus said, breathless, "I don't know how Sirius does it."

"I don't think anyone does," Lily said, and they both laughed.

The werewolf allowed the girl to pass through the next doorway ahead of him, saying, "Speaking of romantic relationships—"

Remus jerked back as Lily suddenly spun on him, a fire blazing in her gaze to match her hair. "Did James send you to patch things up between us, instead of thinking about what I said to him? Did he?"

"Er…he told me about it," Remus said carefully, "But I'm asking you about it of my own free will."

Lily made a sound that was close to a growl and they started down the hall again. She adjusted on of the clasps on her robe. "It's just so hard to be in a relationship with him, sometimes… I mean, I really like him and everything, but there are times where he's just so – ugh!" She stomped on the castle carpet, spinning to face Remus again. "He's the most self-centered, spasmodic-goaled, infuriating, Quidditch-obsessed boy that I've ever met and I there are times when I just want to slap him across the head and leave him, but…" She sighed, "At the same time, he can be this honest, loving, spontaneous, softhearted kid that I just love so much." She sighed again. "What am I going to do, Remus?"

The both of them entered the Arithmancy classroom and went to their usual table at the back. After placing out his books and setting his bottle of ink on the tabletop, Remus thoughtfully turned back to Lily. "I won't argue that he's all those things that you said he is, but that's James for you. You've known that since you first saw him, and you've known that since the first time that you finally said yes when you asked him out. Do you really want James to change?"

Lily played with her eagle quill, turning it back and forth in her hands. "Maybe just a little. Not a lot!"

Remus shook his head, "You do know that if you ask James to do that – even if it's 'just a little', he's going to go and take it to the opposite extreme, right? He'll become so focused on one goal that he'll be absorbed in it nonstop. He'll be completely and entirely devoted to you, and how you're dong and where you're going and whom you're talking to and so on… Do you really want James Potter zoomed in on you all the time?"

"Good God, no!" Lily said. "But I don't want to be second to his snitch, either, Remus."

"No, I can imagine not," Remus said. "But I have a feeling that he's going to try and prove himself to you. Will you give him a second chance?"

Lily shot an irritated look at Remus, thinking about her response. "I…guess…" She said reluctantly. She briefly shook her head and slapped her quill to the table with a snap. "But if he doesn't shape up after this, I swear…"

What she would do was never revealed, as Professor Vector closed the classroom door and signaled for them to open their books. "Please begin with the practice problems on the board, then start on the theory questions in your text," he said. There was the clink of bottles and the shuffle of papers that echoed in the room, and everyone set about the day's work.

He was all in fur and fang – when he tried to speak, a snarl forced itself through his throat. He could taste the copper sliding around his mouth, could smell the disgustingly familiar metal saturated in the air. The trees leered over him as if they were watching him eat, and he threw back his head to howl delightfully.

'Moony.' Padfoot brushed up against him, dark nose wrinkling at the bloody mess in the grass. 'We have to go back to the shack.'

He whined, skipping backwards into the dark shadow of the rocks. 'Not yet, Padfoot – I don't want to go back to sleep just yet.'

He didn't see him, but Prongs snorted and said, "You have to, Moony. Are you ready?'

'No.'

'Come on, Moony,' Wormtail squeaked, whiskers twitching quickly. 'We'll see you again next month,'

'No.' He said firmly, backing up under the rock face, 'whenever I'm in there I sleep and I don't wake up until the moon shines again. I don't want to this time. I'm going to stay out here.'

'You can't do that, Moony," Prongs said patiently. 'Now, come out so we can go back.'

'I won't.' He swiped at Padfoot as the large dog tried to crawl under the rocks with him. 'I will not sleep.' There was another long scrabble of claws as Padfoot tried again.

'It's no use,' Padfoot said quietly to Prongs. 'He's not going to come out.'

'We'll wait then.' Prongs said, 'We aren't that far away, anyway – we can carry him back.'

Wormtail scurried to Prongs' hoof and said, 'is that a good idea?'

'It's the best we have,' Prongs said. 'We'll just hurry back, that's all.'

He snorted and settled back. Silly Prongs – he would wait forever if it meant not sleeping again. He hated sleeping. Maybe if he didn't sleep, he could break out and get something nice and warm and juicy and-

Something was wrong. He growled out loud.

'Moony?' Padfoot called out to him.

He didn't bother answering. There was something moving inside him – something was waking up. 'NO! Not yet!' His shoulders rolled and fur rippled, sliding away. Everything was changing – his body was shrinking, being put back into that smooth, small body of the boychild… Teeth were disappearing and a loud growl turned into a soft moan of pain…

'He's turning back!' Wormtail exclaimed. He could see the little rat out of the corner of his eye, nervously pacing – he was the only one of his pack who could see him.

His haunches…they were bending in weird ways – the back legs were bending the opposite way… No more claws…he was starting to fade away…how? How when he wasn't in the shack… He was falling deep into the sleep, deep, deep, deep… His eyes closed once and then…

Remus opened his eyes, a peaceful smile on his face. Without thinking about it, he licked his lips and sniffed the air around him. Of course, though, he wasn't the wolf, and it wasn't near the full moon, so he could only smell the dust stirred by his violent dream earlier that day, and something along the lines of chocolate…and mint, but not mint chocolate.

"Sirius?"

"Er…you missed dinner."

Remus sat up, adjusting the clasps on his robe. He must have fallen asleep when he came upstairs to drop his books off. Shouldn't have sat on the bed… He glanced at Sirius, who was perched on the end of the mattress, clutching a small rectangle of tin foil in one hand. "They serve chocolate at dinner, now?" Remus reached over to take the shining package. Sirius gave it up willingly, catching the other Gryffindor's hand for a moment.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his gray eyes curtained with worry. "It looked like you were dreaming again."

Remus bit into the softened chocolate and absently smiled. "I'm fine. Thank you." He glanced at the dark-haired boy, pausing. "Sorry for freaking out on you this morning. I don't usually continue the nightmare after I wake up…"

Sirius lifted his hand as if he were going to reach out to him, but stopped. Instead he pulled a letter out of his pocket and handed it to Remus. "It came for you at dinner," he explained, subtly changing the subject.

Remus opened it.

Dear Remus,
Despite our breakup, I will not reveal your 'condition' to anyone. I do not hate you for what has happened – perhaps I was not clear enough in my intentions. I wish there could be something between us, but it is clear that there cannot.
I spoke to Sirius again, and I will say this once more to you; he is very protective of you and loves you very much…
I wish you all the best, Remus Lupin.
Sincerely, Ursula.

Remus closed the letter and set it on his nightstand. "Well," he said out loud, "Ursula won't be telling my secret."

Sirius nodded. "Good."

Remus leaned against his navy pillows and scrutinized Sirius for a moment. The other boy shifted on the bed, uncomfortable under his friend's blatant examination. Taking a trick from James' book, Remus narrowed his eyes and stared harder.

"I feel I owe you an explanation," Sirius blurted.

Satisfied with his results, Remus shook his head and wrapped his chocolate up. "No, you don't."

Sirius explained anyway, just as Remus knew he would. "It was last year – in May. Kinda flingy."

"Sirius…"

"Lasted a week. She asked why you were sick all the time and I panicked."

"Padfoot, please," Remus waved a hand at him. "You don't have to explain. I understand."

The boy continued again, as if he hadn't said anything. "I didn't want her to find out."

Remus sighed and leaned over the side of the bed, dragging out a box. "She did anyway; it's okay. I don't blame you. She's a smart girl." He put the chocolate into the box, alongside a couple of other wrapped bits of tinfoil, and closed it again. He shoved it under the bed and heaved himself back up, facing Sirius.

"Moony…"

"She only did what the marauders did and put the pieces together." Remus reached between them and rested a hand on Sirius' shoulder, smiling gently. "Thank you for wanting to protect me. I appreciate it." That said, he stood and grabbed his charms textbook, collapsing in the chair by the window while he flipped to the chapter he was currently on. Sirius rubbed the back of his neck, feeling quite unsettled for some reason, and left to play Gobstones with the boys in third year.

Dumbledore: Hello, Sirius.
Sirius: Hi, Professor Dumbledore.
Dumbledore: Do you know what I heard at breakfast this morning?
Sirius: -wary- No. What?
Dumbledore: That there was a star in the Leo Major constellation, the star that represents Leo's front paw, called Regulus.
Sirius: O.O
Dumbledore: Don't you have a brother by that name?
Sirius: -runs away, screaming-
Dumbledore: …Of course, I could be wrong…

I quite enjoyed writing this chapter. It's very…well, it moves very nicely. I like the flow of it. It's dark without being dark, you know?

Oh, and I've started a French class this semester! I'm so happy! I don't get a credit for it, but at least I'll learn something, right? It's great – it'll help me write this! (Woo!)

Cheers and snitches, OV