Summary: Jude doesn't feel like she has a friend in the world, so she turns to the last person anyone would least expect. And this person takes her down a road no one should ever go down.
Rating: This fic is for mature audiences only. Don't worry, it's nothing disgusting. It just deals with mature issues like sex, drugs, and crime. And it has cursing. Imagine the movie Thirteen, except in Jude's world.
Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Instant Star or anything relating to the show, or else I would be writing scripts instead of mediocre fan fiction. Get it? Got it? Good.
Author's Note: This idea just came to me tonight. I hope everyone likes it. The format might be a little hard to get at first, but it's sort of told like a movie. Picture Jude telling the camera the story, and it goes back and forth from reality to flashbacks.
THE TRUTH ABOUT LIES
Present:
Whatever they're saying, it's not true.
I swear.
You have to believe me.
I never meant for it to happen like this.
But it did.
And if I could go back in time, I'd change it all.
"Okay Miss Harrison. Why don't you start from the beginning?"
I light the cigarette and stare out the window, remembering.
Flashback to three months earlier:
"Good morning Toronto! Expect party cloudy skies with a 25 percent chance of rain today, reporting to you from our weatherman Bill Marshall. And now for our celebrity-gossip-of-the-week! It's rumored that Instant Star's Jude Harrison has been dropped from her record label G-Major after her debut album failed to meet the expected sales quota! Her music has been ridiculed by both critics and fans - or should I say former fans? - alike. Now in other news..."
I roll over and slam my fist down on the alarm clock radio's snooze button before flopping back down hard on the bed, causing the springs to squeak and vibrate. On second thought, I roll back over, rip the plug out of the jack, and throw the alarm clock with as much energy as I can muster at six in the morning. It goes flying across the room and collides with the wall, smashing into pieces. I smile, temporarily satisfied, but I know it won't last. After all, what the annoyingly cheerful radio announcer said was true. I was dropped from G-Major after my album sales plummeted. The record seemed to be well-received at first, and I even thought it would make the top ten list after a lot of my shows on the tour last summer ended up being sold-out. But I guess everyone got sick of my music. They're more interested in the newer musicians coming onto the scene, and I'm yesterday's news, thrown out with this morning's trash.
Truth be told, I wasn't really worried about it when Darius sat me down in his office a few weeks ago to have what he called a "little talk." I already knew what he had to say. I read the reviews in the newspapers and listened to the radio to the most-requested hour. Never once were my songs requested. Well, that's not true. Some kid called up the station one time and jokingly requested "Your Eyes." The radio DJ laughed and played the song anyway, singing along to the song with his own mocking lyrics. Dozens of people then called, one after the other, either coming up with their own lyrics or demanding that they never play anything by me ever again. So, yeah. I already knew what Darius had to say.
But like I said, I wasn't worried because I figured I could just get a contract someplace else. At another record studio in Toronto or somewhere else in Canada. Maybe even the United States. But I was wrong. I was rejected by all of the major studios, and the smaller, independent labels didn't want me either, claiming I wasn't "edgy" enough for them. And you know what? They are right. I'm not. I let myself be turned into this corporate mega-poser. I can't blame the public for not liking me. I don't even like me very much anymore.
So it's been a few weeks since I've been in a recording studio. It's been a few weeks since I've last spoken to Tommy. It's been three weeks since I've last spoken to both Jamie and Kat. It's been two weeks since I've stopped speaking to my family. It's been one week since I've stopped going to school. And it's been four days since I've last left this room.
No, I'm not in my room at home. I don't even consider the house where Mom and Sadie live my "home" anymore. I moved out a week ago.
How did it all end up like this? Thanks for asking, my friend.
The answer is complicated: I hate my life.
Well, okay. It's not that complicated.
I am no longer friends with Tommy. All thanks to a huge falling out after Darius dropped me from the label. There was a lot of yelling and screaming involved, and in the end, he left. I was angry that he was siding with Darius in what was best for the label. I knew he hated Darius and was pissed at him for firing me, but the label was still Georgia's and he didn't want it to be run into the ground by losing millions of dollars because of me. I knew all this rationally, but I reacted emotionally. Thus the yelling and screaming. And tears - although they were shed after he left. But deep down I know he's right. It hurts all the same though. And I'd be lying if I said that being dropped from the label was the only reason Tommy and I were at ends. There was also the Sadie factor. But that part remained unspoken.
I'd also be lying if I said that the reason Tommy and I are no longer friends is the result of this argument. If I was completely honest, I would say Tommy and I haven't been friends for a long time. But I don't want to believe that. I don't want to believe that my relationship with him is beyond repair. I want to believe that we're just fighting at the moment, and any day now one of us is going to apologize and all will be bygones.
I prefer this version of reality. It's much better than the truth.
Which brings me to Jamie. We had something going on after I came back from tour, and for the first time in a while, I felt I was in a good place. I should have known it wouldn't last. He came to the house about three weeks ago to confess that he has feelings for Kat. He claimed to still love me, but he knows that I'll never feel the same way about him, so it's time to move on. And that he knows in his heart we're destined to always be best friends. He's right, but being dumped for another one of your friends still hurts. I love him, but I'm not in love with him. The reason I was with him then? He was safe. I couldn't get my heart broken. At least not romantically. But he still found a way to break it. So, needless to say, I'm not currently speaking to either of them as well. I know I should let it go and be happy for them, but I feel like my two best friends ditched me for each other. By the way, they're not speaking to me either. I want to believe that all will be forgiven and forgotten. I want to believe that the phone will ring and they'll be on the other end, demanding that I get out of bed, shower and get dressed, for they will be here in twenty minutes to pick me up and take me to see a cheesy action flick at the mall.
I prefer this version of reality. It's much better than the truth.
I've been fighting with my family for months. Mom and Dad have been at each other's throats, which they in turn direct their anger towards me. Sadie and I have been at each other's throats, which I have in turn directed my anger towards Mom and Dad. Sadie is pretty much the angel in this scenario, at least according to my parents. So I simply stopped having conversations with them. Then I stopped explaining where I was going or whom I was with. Finally I just stopped talking period.
Then I stopped going to school. I didn't see the point. It was hell on earth, with the constant abuse from fellow students, and even some teachers. Everyone knew about my disaster of a career. I am sixteen years old and already a has-ben in the industry. In a few years the tabloid magazines will have my picture in it with the title, "Where Are They Now?" And people will read it and say, "What a shame! I really thought Jude Harrison would make it! I can't believe she's now working on a manure farm in Kentucky..." Well, okay, I'm being a little dramatic here, but you get the point.
So I stopped going to school. I'm not completely crazy though. I wouldn't just quit school and become a high school drop-out. I hired a tutor to home-school me. But my parents weren't going for that. It was either their way or the highway, and since I was living under their roof, I moved out.
Present:
"Stop right there Miss Harrison. You say you moved out. Where did you go?"
I exhale the smoke and look over at him across the table, examining his features under the harsh florescent lighting.
"I was getting to that."
Flashback to three months earlier:
"Come live with me." Is what she said. "It'll be like an endless party."
And so begins my story.
It's been one week since I've moved in with Eden, a person whom I've once considered an enemy and number one on my hit list. She was the last person in the entire world whom I'd ever thought I would share a friendship, let alone be living with. And yet here we are. Here I am, holed up in a swanky apartment someplace downtown.
I haven't left my room in four days.
Present:
"Were you sick?"
"No."
"Was it depression?"
"I don't know. Maybe."
"Didn't you miss your family and friends?"
"Of course."
There's a long silence. I can tell he's thinking, and I have a feeling I know what he's going to say next.
"Was it the drugs?"
"Yes."
TO BE CONTINUED.
