Sorry, so very sorry for this wait! I've been SOOOOO busy, it's disgusting really. Between homework and the Creative Writing Club that started up at my school and I also just got contacts for the first time this week. What fun that has been. So yes, just one quick announcement and then on to the story you've all been waiting for.
I've recently gained the attention of a few new reviewers, one of which has taken an interest in trying to help me edit my work. To clarify, I am aware that there are many spelling errors and run on sentences in some parts of this story. I try to edit as best I can before I upload a chapter, but by my final cut I've usually read it four times or so already and sometimes stuff just gets passed me. Unfortunately you, as the reader, reading it for the first time usually catch a lot more than me. So here's what I'm going to do. For now I have no time to worry about, but over Christmas break I'll sit myself down and pick my way through this and try to fix some of my mistakes. I know that seems like a ways away but I hope to be done with this by then (key word: hope) and so some of these newer chapters will have had a while to cool in my mind. Besides, that's honestly the first chance I'll probably get to take a good long look at it.
So, I hope that shall appease all of you who have caught a few of my mistakes. I'm not ignoring them. I'm just waiting until I find some time to give the problem my full, undivided attention. This chapter, once again, feels like a filler to me. It mainly centers around a flashback I promised Forbiddensoul562 I'd add forever ago. I'm kind of trying to keep this story at least somewhat happy for a while since the next fic in this series (or the next chaptered on anyway) is going to be REALLY dark. I mean, I'm planning to set the genre to horror, something I've never done before. But enough of that, now I think I've officially kept you waiting long enough. ON WITH THE FIC!
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Hiei lay quietly on the couch, content to remain in the silence and the warmth. Apart from the blanket that had found its way around his frame sometime during the night, the heat in the apartment had been turned considerably high. It was January 1, New Years Day, and everyone else was still asleep from the festivities of the night before. But then again, it was to be expected. After all, everyone else had sampled more than their fair share of sake the night before. Hiei, of course, had been denied any alcohol but Kurama had allowed him to eat as much ice cream as he wanted, so the fire demon didn't complain.
Their party had been small. This was due to Hiei's natural anti-socialism and his increasingly violent mood swings. It had gotten to the point that only Kurama, Yukina, and Shiori could get close to the half-Koorime. Anyone else and it wasn't long before a random object in the room spontaneously combusted.
A lot had happened over the last month. Yusuke and Keiko had been married just before Christmas and were now on their honeymoon in Hawaii. All but Hiei had attended the wedding and it was at the reception, after Yukina caught the bouquet, that her engagement to Kuwabara was announced. It honestly didn't upset Hiei as much as everyone seemed to think it would. As long as his sister was happy and Kuwabara treated her right, which he knew the annoying human would, that was all that mattered. Kuwabara, however, still seemed on edge around his future brother-in-law. Therefore it is understandable that when his fiancée told him of her plans to spend New Years Eve with her brother, the carrot top quickly resigned himself to wait until the following day to celebrate the new year with his bride-to-be. Shiori, wanting to spend time with her son and his mate but having been witness to a few of Hiei's fiery outbursts, had convinced her husband to take Suichi and spend this holiday with his family in Kyoto.
Hiei's gaze wondered about the room. Snow fell softly outside and he watched the pure white flakes float down. He tried not to be reminded of the Koorime…of their ice world…of Rui. He sighed, unable to stop the sudden onslaught of memories. Their relationship had been so haphazard and uncertain at the time. In truth, he had never really mourned her death; never properly grieved. The winter snows served to remind him of that and he was slowly growing to hate the season.
Forcing his eyes away they landed on the tree in the corner. In Hiei's opinion, a Christmas Tree was rather pointless, but it was a tradition Kurama was unwilling to forgo. The redhead had insisted on a live tree and there it stood now, green and lively as the day it was cut. Hiei was beginning to fear the fox was growing attached to the tree. Kurama had been using his energy to keep it alive and Hiei kept reminding the redhead that he would have to let the pine die eventually. Kurama, however, seemed reluctant to let that happen. Hiei decided he could put up with it for now, but if the tree wasn't gone within the month he was going to get rid of it.
Shaking his head, he turned to the rest of the room. A few empty bottles, soiled plates, and empty cups lay scattered over everything. All the furniture in the room had been pulled together in a clump before the TV. That included the couch Hiei was laying on, the green chair that usually sat in the corner, and a second chair that had been a present from Shiori. This one was black leather and rocked and Hiei had become quiet fond of it.
Crimson eyes traveled down the length of the couch to where his sister rested in peaceful slumber at the other end. She looked so serene in sleep, like some beautiful porcelain doll. As he gazed at her he felt the weight of the necklaces around his neck. He had tried to return her teargem, but she refused to take it back. She had given it to him to give to her brother, and with her brother was where she wanted it to stay. So now he wore them both, his and hers. Just as his had always been a reminder of his mother, that someone in the world did in fact love him, hers would always be a reminder of his sister and her love for him as well.
His stare lifted slightly to see Shiori curled in the green chair. All night Shiori had fussed over him. Every time the child kicked both she and Yukina were eager for a chance to feel. He was beginning the seventh month and growing increasingly uncomfortable and both women did their best to supply him with plenty of pillows, blankets, and company on the couch. And yet, somehow, it hadn't been annoying in the least. In fact, he had almost enjoyed it. No one but Kurama had ever given him that sort of attention before. It was a welcomed change.
Turning to the final chair, the black one that was closest to his head, Hiei smiled as he took in the form of his sleeping mate. Their fingers were entwined in a strong hold that Hiei had yet to break. A crimson waterfall spilled down the side of the chair and hid most of the fox's face. Reaching out with his free hand, Hiei moved a few blood red locks to properly see his mate. His fingers brushed Kurama's cheek and the sleeping redhead leaned into the touch.
Lately Kurama had become more affectionate than ever before, a hard feat considering the fox had always been a hopeless romantic. It had taken a while for Hiei to discern the cause of his fox's erotic behavior, but he had finally realized what it was. His smell; or to be more specific the pheromones he was emitting. He had known from the beginning that Kurama enjoyed the scent of pregnancy that Hiei now gave off, but recently Kurama had begun to be more and more affected by it. There were times when the redhead seemed positively drunk off of it. Hiei had almost feared what would happen when the smell and the alcohol in Kurama's system were combined. The fox, however, seemed to have had enough sense to keep himself under control in the presence of their guests and had behaved himself all night.
Allowing a small smile to slip onto his face the half-Koorime glanced at the room's sleeping occupants once more: his mate, his sister, his mother. This was nice. No, this was more than nice. This was…the exact feeling was indescribable but whatever it was it felt warm. He had never experienced this kind of warmth before.
Even after the Koorime had disowned him they haunted him. Their world had become his life: icy, cold, and isolated. And try as he might, he couldn't escape. So eventually, he just stopped trying and allowed the numbing cold to overpower him. But others weren't content to let him stay within the confines of his frozen existence. Kurama hadn't been content.
His smile grew as he remembered that day. It seemed so long ago now. He should have expected it really. Kurama, ever the stubborn fox, just couldn't leave well enough alone could he? He had to try to 'help' Hiei to break free of his icy composure. Though, in the end, it was the fox who was caught in his own trap.
xxx
Kurama sat at his desk, staring at a page of his book but not comprehending the words. His mind was wandering. To be exact, it was wandering to a certain raven haired half-Koorime. He hadn't seen Hiei since they had parted ways after the Makai tournament and he was beginning to wonder if he would ever see his friend again. At their parting, Hiei hadn't expressed any plans to visit Kurama. Despite this, the fox had remained hopeful. But six months had passed without a whisper of the fire demon's presence.
Kurama really couldn't blame him. Hiei hated Ningenkai. During his detainment in the world of humans Kurama had spent many nights listening to Hiei talk almost wistfully of his desire to return to Makai. Now that he had finally made it back, the fox could certainly understand if Hiei chose not to return.
He could understand, but that didn't mean he wanted to. It had taken a lot of time and trust for the two of them to build up the relationship they had achieved. Kurama felt almost cheated that it would be allowed to end so abruptly. In truth, he had wanted to see how far their relationship would go. How far Hiei would let it go. He had wanted to see the full extend of what Hiei was willing to give to another person.
That sounded so much like using the fire demon, but Kurama had assured himself it wasn't. He often wondered why he had to convince himself of this so often. It was the same procedure he had used on many partners in the past. But then again, he had been the promiscuous Youko in the past. That wasn't who he was anymore. That truth, at least, he was finally sure of. Perhaps then his 'experiment' of Hiei's emotions was somewhat in need of revising. After all, he was Kurama now and Kurama had no need to have people wrapped around his finger the way Youko had liked. No, Kurama would rather be on equal footing than in control.
And besides that, it wasn't very fair to Hiei. The fire demon had been used and cast aside as often as Youko had inflicted the same fate on others. Hiei didn't need it to happen again, especially as another of Youko's victims.
Kurama bit his lip as a wave of regret hit him. All the time that Hiei was here Kurama had played his game with his unsuspecting prey. It was only now that the prey was gone that he realized how wrong that had been. He didn't miss the game. He missed the prey.
Somehow during the course of the game he had given as much to Hiei as the shorter demon had given to him, maybe more. Maybe, without either of them realizing it, he had given much more.
A cold shock of remorse griped him as he came to another realization. Hiei might not be coming back. Kurama might not be able to correct his mistake. A pain rose in his chest. He had thought he was seducing Hiei with Youko's emotionless coldness, and here he came to find they had somehow reversed roles. It was Hiei who had gained Kurama's heart and now the fox was left alone and empty. It was ironic really, a bit of poetic justice for the thief of all things including hearts.
Kurama let out a pained sigh, dropping his head into his hands. How could he have been so blinded as to believe that Youko's old practices still applied? Over the years he had spent as a human he had tried his best to harden his heart, to keep all others out except those, like Shiori, who had already wormed their way in. Had he really hardened it so much that he hadn't noticed it slip away into the possession of another? Had he truly closed his eyes to his own emotions until they acted on their own and left him to reap the consequences? It seemed he had.
"Hiei," he sighed, covering his face completely with his hands.
"Yes?"
Kurama jumped up so fast that his chair tumbled halfway across the room. His head snapped around and he stared in disbelief at the window. There, perched on the sill, was Hiei. He wore the vibrant blood red on maroon on black of Mukuro's empire, his cloak now of a much heavier material. Large charcoal boots with numerous buckles climbed up the fire demon's calves. If the fox wasn't so stunned he would have smirked to see that Hiei had yet to give up his habit of wearing four white belts at a time. As it was, however, Kurama was quite incapable of speech.
"Is something wrong, fox?" Hiei asked, regarding the redhead closely with crimson orbs. Kurama tried to speak, tried to do anything really. It was as though someone had thrown a wrench into the gears in his mind. He had his chance, right now, to set everything right. He had the chance to tell Hiei how he felt, however recent the discovery of these feelings may be. But…how do you pledge your heart to someone who already has it? Moreover, how could he make Hiei, a being who had been eschewed by even murderous bandits, understand?
It was too many thoughts all at once. Kurama's already overloaded brain, for the first time in centuries, failed him and suddenly he was falling forward. He hit something soft. Opening eyes he didn't remember having closed he saw black fabric. He felt arms wrapped around him and with a shock realized they were Hiei's. Hiei was holding him. Surely it was merely a byproduct of catching the falling fox, but it was a hold none the less.
"Fox, what is wrong with you?" Hiei tried to pull back to see the redhead's face, to put Kurama at arms length. Kurama quickly stopped the action by curling his own arms around the half-Koorime tightly. Hiei stiffened suddenly. Kurama hid his face in the fabric covering Hiei's shoulder, waiting to be shoved away. Moments passed, but nothing happened.
"Kurama?" Hiei's voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, and sounded more confused than anything else.
"I'm sorry," Kurama replied, equally quiet. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. But then, I guess I didn't. I guess the only person I really hurt was myself."
"What are you talking about?" Again Hiei's voice was soft and puzzled. Kurama pulled back just enough to see the fire demon's face, never relinquishing his hold about the little demon's shoulders.
"I…" Kurama bit his lip, wondering what reaction Hiei would give when he confessed that he had been toying with him. In any case, he was about to find out. "I admit I treated your trust with little worth. You may not think so, but I…I have been 'playing' with you, analyzing your emotions. It's something Youko was found of doing…something I never really questioned." Kurama stopped for a moment, and then shook his head almost viciously. "It was wrong of me to do so. I realize that now. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Hiei."
Kurama lowered his head and stared at the intricate patterns of crimson against black at the fringe of Hiei's cloak. He took a deep breath and then let it out slowly, trying to calm his racing heart before he continued. Hiei remained silent. Whether in anger or in shock, Kurama didn't dare look up to find out.
"I suppose I paid for it in my own way. I was so careful to lay down traps for you that I lost track of them and was caught myself. I tried to steal your heart, for the mere purpose of having it and nothing more. But in the end…" Kurama paused, looking up and meeting vermillion with viridian for the first time. "In the end, it is you who have captured my heart."
Wine red eyes widened and stared deep into emeralds for a silent moment. Then something between anger and panic rose in their depths.
"What exactly are you saying, Kurama?" The words were spoken as though daring Kurama to voice those three words that were the simplicity of his emotions. Kurama held the other's gaze.
"I love you."
"No!" Hiei shook his head, suddenly trying to twist away from Kurama's arms. The fox, in response, automatically tightened his arms. "You lie!" Hiei shouted, still trying to get free. In the back of his mind Kurama was glad that his family was out and he had the house to himself.
"I'm not lying, Hiei. I would never lie to you." Kurama laid his head on the struggling demon's chest, trying to tighten his arms even more. "I love you."
"No you don't!" Hiei accused. He grabbed a fistful of crimson locks and yanked harshly. Kurama winced but maintained his hold on the half-Koorime.
"I do!" Kurama insisted. He repeated it a third time. "I love you, Hiei."
"SHUT UP!" Hiei screamed. It suddenly grew very hot and in seconds Kurama felt his skin begin to burn. Crying out in pain and surprise he fell back. His arms, bear in the summer heat, were red and raw, the skin shiny from recent burning. Kurama tried to move one arm and grimaced, unable to stop a slight whimper of pain.
Looking up he saw Hiei still standing there, staring at him with impossibly wide crimson eyes. He was panting and looked scared, more scared than Kurama had ever seen him before.
"Kurama…" he whispered, staring at his friend's wounded arms. "Why?" he asked finally, eyes shifting slightly to the fox's face.
"Why do I love you?" Kurama asked quietly. He took Hiei's silence as his answer. "Because…because I trust you, Hiei. I trust you with my life…and with my heart."
"Why?" Hiei asked again. "Why would you do such a thing? Don't you know who I am? What I am?"
"I know perfectly well who and what you are," Kurama replied coolly, sitting up slightly and wincing as he bumped one tender arm. "You are Hiei Jaganshi; the Forbidden Child; the wilder of the Dragon of the Darkness Flame; heir to Mukuro; brother to Yukina; and, most importantly, you are my friend, Hiei. You are my dearest, most trusted friend. I know no one else more worthy of my love."
Hiei stared silently at the redhead. Kurama returned the gaze, wondering what would happen next. At least the fire demon hadn't left yet, that was a good sign. Hesitantly, Hiei walked forward until he stood before Kurama. Slowly he kneeled until the two were level. Garnet met emerald before dropping to the fox's damaged skin.
Gently, calloused fingers gripped the unharmed flesh and raised one arm slowly. He glanced at Kurama again, who was watching intently but showed no signs of pulling away. Hiei waited uncertainly for a moment longer before leaning forward and quickly running his tongue over the irritated area. It happened so fast that Kurama wasn't sure it had happened at all. Then pain rose in his arm, assuring him it had in fact happened. He continued to watch as Hiei repeated the act. This time, instead of pain, a cool numbness spread over the area.
Hiei continued to bathe the underside of the arm with his tongue. Slowly the red, burnt skin began to flake away exposing new unmarred flesh. Kurama was amazed. Perhaps not all the Koorime's traits had been lost on Hiei. He definitely seemed able to heal, though in a rather peculiar way.
Finally, the arm had been fully healed. Hiei let it drop from his fingers and reached for the other arm. He repeated the pervious treatment. As coolness soothed the inflamed skin Kurama closed his eyes and began to purr. Hiei paused for a moment, surprised, but swiftly continued his work. After several long minutes the second arm, too, had been healed. Kurama opened his eyes, smiling warmly.
"Thank you," he said quietly.
"Hn," was Hiei's only reply. Kurama closed his eyes again heaving a deep, relaxed sigh. When he opened them again, Hiei was staring at him with an unreadable look on his face. Before Kurama could utter a word, however, Hiei darted forward and quickly pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss. This event had barely registered in Kurama's mind before the contact was gone, Hiei vanishing with it.
Blinking a few times, a smile spread across the redhead's face as he raised one hand to touch his lips. He watched the drapes blow in the breeze from the opened window and knew his dark friend would be back.
xxx
Hiei squeezed the hand in his lightly. That day had changed everything. It had brought him to where he was now; with a family: his family. That was the first time Hiei had reveled his healing powers to anyone, and Kurama was still the only other being alive who knew. Kurama trusted him when others spit on him, loved him when others raped him. Shiori had said once that Hiei was Kurama's world. The same was true for the fire demon. He held Kurama's heart and Kurama held his. And he'd be damned if it didn't stay that way. Smiling to himself once more, Hiei snuggled back into the blankets and allowed sleep to take him.