Chapter Eight: A Change

Jason Issacs (the man who played Lucius Malfoy in the movies) stars in a Peter Pan movie as both Mr. Darling and Captain Hook. –snort- There's a deleted scene on the dvd where Mr. Darling is 'punishing himself' for losing the children or something by sleeping and working in the doghouse. Mrs. Darling makes this comment on how she thinks that he's starting to enjoy it. -guffaws- It's hilarious, because I tend to write Lucius as a masochist, and just hearing that being repeated by Lucius' actor… Oh goodness, it's great. But anyway… Off you go!

This chapter gets a little…intimate. Reminder on the boyxboy. Enjoy.

French – bold

Peter burst into the dorm with that same maniac grin that Remus had seen too often on James' face. He went over to the table where the seeker and Sirius were arguing about getting around cloaking spells and other items with the map, and slapped a piece of parchment on the tabletop.

"Aperio atrium?" James read aloud. He looked at the panting marauder. "What's this?"

Peter looked pleased with himself. "It took me two long hours and the next three Wednesday afternoons, but I got that portrait on the main floor to give me the password to the secret passage in the back of the broom closet."

"Brilliant, Pete! Just brilliant! Gave her some of that Pettigrew charm, did you?" Sirius clapped a hand to the shorter boy's shoulder, and turned to grin at Remus. "Isn't it brilliant?"

Remus nodded, tearing off a piece of his parchment roll. "Yes, bloody brilliant. I'm going to the owlery." After sending a congratulatory smile at Peter, he left, rushing uncharacteristically out of the room and to the tower in the east end of the castle.

Easter break had particularly disturbed him, not so much because that his friends had lied about it, but that he had vividly felt the truth of the dreams even into the waking world. Another close call. This time, however, James and Sirius had had trouble keeping it that way.

'Dear Rom,

I hate to write to you with dark news, especially on our day, but I cannot help it. Since the last moon, I feel this…urge… My senses are sharper than they should be, even more so than usual, and I find my dreams plagued of bloody gory scenes. And the thing is, even though half the time I wake from it screaming, the other half I find myself waking from it with a smile on my face. I thought I had this under control, Rom. Why is this happening now? I think that the wolf is bleeding into my personality… Should I go to Dumbledore? Maybe I'm not safe anymore… I don't want to leave here, brother. What should I do? And please…don't mention this to Mother and Father.

Happy birthday - love, Remus'

Remus attached the letter to the leg of one of the school student-use owls with shaking hands. Attached to it was a birthday present for his twin; an extensive book on magicking statues that he had picked up in Hogsmeade, and what was mysteriously called a 'surprise pack' from the rest of the marauders. The owl flew off, slightly dragging under the weight of the packages.

Remus rubbed his eyes. He didn't feel like himself and it wasn't even near the full moon. He kept telling himself that it was just an aftereffect, but… He hadn't had any before... Why start now? Did it have anything to do with his sixteenth birthday coming up in the next week? What was it? What if there was something…wrong…?

He mulled over sluggish and slightly depressing thoughts while on his way to class. Professor Fervioli, the Care of Magical Creatures teacher, was sitting on her desk with a giant cage beside her, when the fifth year Gryffindors and Slytherins came into the class after first bells. Remus slid into a desk near the back, trying to smile at James when he passed by him. Despite all of the Seeker's reassurances, Remus knew that it had been his fault. Surely, if the Potters had been killed, then James would have been less forgiving…

Sirius took a seat between Remus and James, while Peter briefly scrambled to get the chair beside James. Lily, without meaning to, took it right before he did, and Peter ended up behind the dark-haired seeker, next to a Slytherin boy twice his size.

"Today," Professor Fervioli said, closing the classroom door, "We will be studying the Basenji, a small smooth-haired breed of African origin. Though it is considered a domesticated dog by muggles and wizards alike, they have been made quite a favorite for familiars." She revealed the animals in the cage on her desk. There were several small dogs silently pacing the cage, their tightly curled tails wagging at the sight of people. The professor turned to the class. "In groups of two or three, you will study and examine a Basenji for the class and write up a report on their characteristics. To start off, can anyone tell me a particular uniqueness of the breed that is both a benefit and a downfall?"

Peter raised his hand quickly, knocking an inkbottle off the desk. James caught it before it smashed, though he nearly fell out of his seat. Professor Fervioli nodded at Peter. "They are unable to bark." He said.

"Correct; ten points to Gryffindor." She smiled kindly at Peter, who beamed with pride. She looked at the class. "Well? Aren't you going to write it down?"

As Remus was scribbling on a fresh sheet of parchment, Sirius escaped to the front of the room to get one of the furry canines. He returned, the Basenji licking and sniffing his chin.

"Benefit: affectionate and cute." Sirius said, growling softly at the pup. The canine wagged his tail at Sirius, who smiled and patted him on the head.

"Affectionate…and cute…" Remus repeated, writing it down. James, Lily and Peter were battling over their own lovely fuzzball. So it went on for the hour, with Arthur Weasley joining them. The dog, truly unable to bark, was able to squeak and make snuffing noises.

"Disadvantage," Arthur said, his brilliant red hair drifting across his eyes, "being that if you were to be attacked or robbed, they wouldn't be able to warn you by barking."

"…By barking…" Remus muttered. The bell clanged, signaling the end of the class.

Arthur took the sheet from Remus and went up to hand it in. Remus made to take the Basenji, but as soon as he came within a foot of the animal, it bared its teeth at him, curling up into Sirius' arm and silently snarling in Remus direction. The russet-haired boy's eyes darkened, and he withdrew quickly, busying himself with his books. Sirius rushed the Basenji away, and returned to exit the class with Remus.

"You okay?" He asked, concern visible across his gaze. Remus shrugged distractedly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"They say," Remus whispered, "That you shouldn't trust people that dogs don't trust."

Sirius shook his head as they made their way up the stairs, skipping the fourth and ninth steps. "Dogs are quick to judge. That pup is a suspicious creature. You should have heard what he thought of Arthur."

"But still," Remus said sullenly. "His hackles weren't up around him."

"I'm a dog," Sirius said with a smile, "And are my hackles up?"

"You're human." Remus muttered.

"And so are you." Sirius reminded him gently. "Don't let the silly mutt get you all in a ruffle."

"I'm not in a ruffle."

Sirius toyed briefly with a lock of Remus' hair. Remus sighed and relaxed, turning into the touch without thought. Sirius smiled and took a step closer to Remus. They hesitated, pausing in the drifting shadow of a statue of Sir Simon of Saren, and stopped next to the wide window framed with copper wire. They shared a silent moment, hovering on the edge of something more intimate, but the muffled sound of footsteps broke through them; picked up by their similar sensitive hearing.

Lucius Malfoy smiled silkily as they came out of the shadow of the statue. The three of them stood within safe and respectable distance of each other, wordless. Sirius' eyes focused fiercely on Lucius, and waited for the blond to make the first move. The Slytherin tilted his head slightly, and his posture shifted with his stance.

"I heard a rumor," Lucius said slowly, examining the detail on one of his rings. He wiggled his fingers around under his sight, polishing the already sparkling jewels on the front of his robe. "I was wondering if you could confirm it for me."

Sirius's natural defenses doubled immediately and the lad crossed his arms. "Gossiping, Malfoy?" Sirius said with mock surprise, "Shame on you!" Remus turned to face Lucius completely, mild curiosity on his face.

Having their full attention, Lucius continued. "It came to my attention that the reason that kindly Remus Lupin and the dear Ursula Rayne broke up might be the fact that there was another person in the equation."

Remus answered before Sirius could open his mouth, "We didn't have a relationship, if it's any of your business, Lucius."

One slender eyebrow raised slightly, "Oh?"

"A misunderstanding," Remus clarified.

"I see," Lucius stated clearly. "And by 'we', you mean-?"

"Myself and Ursula," Remus replied, gaze steady.

"Ah," Lucius said. His eyes flickered to Sirius and back to Remus, piercing in their color and pristine clarity. Smiling mysteriously, Lucius nodded slowly. "Then I thank you for clearing this up for me." Lucius inclined his head and then stalked away, long hair swaying with his stride.

The faint sound of his shoes faded and Sirius nudged Remus. The boy started, blinking out of a daze.

"You okay?" Sirius asked for a second time that afternoon

Remus smiled reassuringly, looking up at Sirius. Though the dark-haired boy's eyes were gray as well, they didn't have the sharp severity of Lucius'. There was no malice there – no threat. Where Lucius' eyes were poison like silver, Sirius' were calming – like skies before thunderstorms. Remus watched Sirius for a moment, wanting to say something, but not sure what.

"We should get to Muggle Studies," Remus decided.

-et puis-

For Remus' birthday the marauders managed to arrange a large party in an empty classroom, and they had a great time until Professor Halazar stumbled across them. That lead to a frantic escape from the classroom that didn't quite work, and everyone that was found received detention. The marauders, Lily and Andromeda escaped out the back entrance, and didn't get caught.

Sirius pulled at Remus, a secret smile on his face. He grabbed him by the wrist and led him through the halls, spiraling through the dizzy maze of the Hogwarts corridors.

"Where are we going?" Remus asked, slightly out of breath. "The party…"

Sirius shook his head. "We'll get caught if we make for the tower. McGonagall will probably know by now."

"But where-?"

They went down the charms corridor and pushed through the wall between the paintings of Jervis of Jagged Rocks, and Helina of Halo's Cove. Popping into a broom cupboard, Sirius peered out of the door. "You'll see, dear Remus…."

"Dear Remus?" The boy in reference murmured amusedly, "You're starting to sound like Lucius."

Sirius led them out of the broom cupboard and they sneaked down the hall. "Well, we did have a civil conversation the other day. It was…odd."

"What about?" They darted out a side entrance of the school and started towards the Forbidden Forest.

Sirius became a dark shape in the night, wisps of hair flickering in and out of being like wraith hands. "Food.'

"Food?"

"We had same detentions. I was hungry. I whined. We talked about food."

"That's…strange."

"Like I said – odd."

They wound through the tall trees of the forest, Remus trailing after the tall dark blot that was holding his hand. He was half-blind, for there was lack of light and lack of moon. He didn't know the paths through the forest well, and only recognized things in the blurry memories of the wolf. He managed to keep his footing as he was led through the dark, due to natural reflexes and wolfish grace. There was also the many nights of maraudering that gave him an edge, and he knew instinctively how to feel his way around and over things.

After a while, the trees started to part, and the two boys were in a modest-sized clearing. Remus felt a pang of acknowledgement as he started up at the winding branches of the Moon's tree. A shimmer distracted him, catching his eye, and Sirius led him to where a large object was half-covered by a dark tarp. Sirius yanked the tarp down and revealed the shiny newness of his motorbike.

"I told you," he whispered, "you'd be the first to ride with me."

"That was fast," Remus said with amazement. He lightly touched the spray painting down the body of the bike, fingers running over the silver three-clawed swipes. The wiry, jagged body of metal that he had bought in the shop for Sirius had been transformed into a sleek machine. For a strange moment, Remus was oddly pleased, and a small noise escaped his throat to express this.

Sirius seemed to understand this sound like it was a language they both shared. He took a seat on the bike and looked up at Remus, holding one hand out. He smiled sweetly, and Remus climbed on behind him, holding tightly to Sirius's torso. With a chuckle, Sirius loosened Remus' hold a little, and then revved up the engine.

It purred. Or, rather, it purred as much as a motorbike could. With the deep rumbling beneath them, Sirius pressed a button on the dash, there was a slight shimmer around them, and they were off into the night.

Remus was pleasantly winded, blood roaring in his ears like the wolf during the moon. Sirius hair whipped around him, smelling of mint and smoke, and played tricks with Remus' eyes as he watched the trees blur by.

"You ready?" Sirius yelled loudly, over the sound of the bike.

"For what?" Remus shouted back.

Sirius shifted slightly to play with a dial on the bike. "I'll pretend that whatever you just said included 'yes'!"

Remus yelped and held onto Sirius tighter as they lifted off from the ground and shot into the sky.

"But how--?" Remus cried over the noise. "It's been little over a month!"

"Took it apart," Sirius exclaimed, "Laid it out and spelled everything at once. Then I sealed the magic in and put it back together!" They dipped sharply, dancing with Whomping Willow for a moment. "The casing and paint took the longest!

Sirius laughed and they flew on.

Remus tilted his head to the sky, pondering the absence of his lunar master. Perhaps it was the adrenaline rush or the way that he was pressed closely to Sirius, or how he could hear their heartbeats banging loudly over the engine, but Remus had never felt more alive. He had never felt more free, or more in tune with the whispers in the back of his mind. Impulses flashed through his nerves and, being in the air, could only satisfy a few of them.

Carefully, Remus pulled Sirius' mass of dark hair to one side. He bared the neck, running fleeting fingertips down its gentle slope. Sirius almost turned to look at him, but Remus' other hand came up to firmly force Sirius' jaw so that he was starting ahead.

"Watch your flying," Remus said, tip of his tongue flickering out to lick Sirius' earlobe.

The dark boy gasped in surprise. The bike jerked forward with a sudden burst of speed and then slowed again when Sirius loosened his grip on the handles. "Remus—"

"It's my birthday," he replied, "Now, behave."

Slowly opening his mouth, Remus stretched his jaw, half believing that his canines were longer and more prominent than usual. His tongue curled out and then back in again, testing the air swirling around them. He could taste water and sweat, metallic because of the bike. He could taste the dry leather of Sirius' coat, and the musky scent of his cologne. Carefully leaning further into Sirius, Remus pressed his tongue against the bared neck, and lapped up the salty heat he found there.

They were suddenly in a dive for the ground as Sirius flinched. A suppressed grunt drifted past Remus' ears and into the wind; another word in their shared dialect. This time the sometimes-wolf understood the meaning clearly.

Dear sweet Merlin.

There was a slight bump as they contacted ground, and they quickly rolled to a stop a few feet away from the Moon's Tree. The engine died and they sat there for a moment. Remus played with Sirius' hair, tracing the strands into where they lay on Sirius's back. With a tilt of his head, Remus placed a kiss on either side of Sirius' shoulders, got off the bike, and gazed down fondly at him.

"This was fun," he said, sated for some reason. "Thank you." He placed a quick kiss on the folded hands that were crossed in front of Sirius' eyes, and paused to tongue the skin around one of his rings. Pulling away, he closed his eyes and let his instincts guide him back to Hogwarts.

"Good night."

Sirius let out a single shuddering breath and weakly pulled the keys from the bike. "Good night…"

-et puis-

Remus woke up the next morning feeling like his regular self. However, that also included a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, unsteady hands and echoes of wolf laughter in his mind. He barely made it through the day, startled by violent shades of red and gold, avoiding his commons room, and generally not looking at anything during potions.

Silent, Remus stared at the dinner plates that surrounded him. There were the usual platters of pudding and potatoes and vegetables, but the long slabs of meats leered at him. They sat on their dishes: limp, pale, warm and tinged red. Remus watched, fixated, as a girl at the next table cut into a piece of steak. The knife sliced cleanly through, ripping tender threads of cooked meat and ligament, and yielding a tiny stream of red juice. It slid across the plate in avid slowness, pooling slightly.

"Moony?" James was asking.

"Oh God," Remus blurted. "I think I'm going to be sick." Quickly excusing himself, he left the hall and ran through the castle doors to the outside. Even as his feet touched the green grasses, he was retching dryly, mind swimming with thoughts of meat on plates. "Aie..." 1

A hand came to rest on the small of his back; the other gripping his shoulder as his stomach heaved on empty. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself not to cry, leaning over his bent knees. He was breathing hard, after a few minutes of this, and he slowly straightened.

"Okay, Remus?" Sirius was supporting him, smoky gray eyes focused completely on him. Remus leaned heavily into the dark featured lad, sinking into his embrace and not caring if he…well, not caring about certain things anymore. It didn't matter. "Remus?" Sirius murmured into his ear. "Moony?"

"It's changing, Sirius." Remus panted into the smooth velvet of Sirius' shirt. It seemed that he was ending up wrapped around Sirius more and more often, lately…

"It's okay, Moony. You can get through this. I'm here…"

"Please, just don't—" Remus stopped.

Sirius looked down at him. "Don't what?"

"Um. Don't…mention meat…"

Sirius chuckled, the sound rumbling deep in his chest. Remus listened to it, momentarily soothed by it. He then heard the distant flap of wings, and he looked up to see a light brown owl flapping its way toward them. It screeched loudly, dropping packages into Sirius' hands. With another circle above the two boys' heads, it gave another screech and flew in the direction of the Hogwarts Owlery. Sirius examined the addresses on the parcel and letter.

"It's for you." He said, handing the letter to Remus.

Remus tore open the envelope with a pounding heart, hardly remembering that Sirius was watching.

'Dear Rem,

I don't know what to say to you, brother. It's the nature of the wolf, Remus. You know that you are no more yourself during the moon, than you are the wolf during the other days of the month. It is a separate entity than you; it has a different mind, a different agenda than you do. If it were not, you'd remember and experience what you do as you do it, not as dreams and nightmares. The wolf dreams too, you told me that. It is not your joy that you feel at those specters, brother mine. It is the joy and glee of the wolf, the animal.

Unless you start to act as the wolf, in the days that don't precede and follow the full moon, I wouldn't worry about being a danger to the world. You have never been a threat to someone, though you have the ability to defend and ward off others. This may just be the wolf maturing; just you and I are, as we grow older. If the wolf bleeds into your personality (as you put it) any further, you should talk to Dumbledore about it. I know that you love Hogwarts and you love your friends, but if you endanger them, it will be a worthless emotion. You know that. I won't tell Mother and Father, out of love for you, but if it continues on like this, then there will be no choice.

On a happier note, happy birthday, brother! I wish I could be there to celebrate with you or you here to celebrate with me, but I am afraid that it isn't possible, eh? I'm sure that you will find the present enclosed just what you need to relax. Excuse me if I'm being impertinent, but I suggest you share it with Sirius. Either way, do enjoy it. Aquila sends her hellos.

Love, Romulus'

Remus stuffed the letter and envelope into his robe pocket, feeling steadier than he had a moment before. Sirius rested an arm around his shoulders as he handed him a small package. Ignoring the pleasant fluttering in his chest, Remus tore open the plain brown wrapping, and pulled out a leather box. Popping open the snap, he peered in. Sirius made a noise that suspiciously sounded like a giggle. He dipped long fingers into the box and drew out one of the thin bottles. The elegant lettering on the labels was in French. Sirius pulled the top off and sniffed it.

"It smells like jasmine." Sirius said.

Remus snatched it back from Sirius, closing it and placing it back in the box. He tucked it under one arm, two faint spots of pink highlighting his cheeks. "That's my brother for you…."

"Are they bath oils?"

"Well, yes, but…"

Sirius stopped, one eyebrow raised. "I was only asking." He leaned in to peer at Remus. "I'm not going to lift them in the middle of the night, you know." Sirius said, his breath ghosting warmly across Remus' cheek. The shorter Gryffindor's blush darkened, and he suddenly poked Sirius in the stomach.

"Ow!"

"You better not lift them!" Remus said, pretending that the stone steps of the school were very interesting. "I plan to use them."

"Do you?" Sirius asked with a straight face. "If I come with, will you share?"

A muscle in Remus' cheek twitched, and he blinked rather than stutter something. "I don't know, Padfoot…they're, um…French…?"

"And things of a French nature should be shared." Sirius paused. "Reveur."

Remus looked sharply at him. Reveur was the French word for 'moony.' "Where did you-?"

Sirius shrugged. "Andromeda's teaching me some phrases and stuff." He stopped thoughtfully. "Heureux anniversaire, mon chere." 2 He recited carefully.

Remus stared up at him, swallowing hard. "Je vouloir tu."3 He said quickly.

Sirius gave him a confused look. "What?"

Half relieved and half wondering what had possessed him, Remus waved a hand at Sirius. "Nothing. It's nothing." Before the other could say anything, Remus retreated into the school.

1 Ow.

2 Happy birthday, my dear.

3 I want you.

By the way, the password that Peter had? Tis Latin. (nods, pleased) I got myself an English-Latin Dictionary. Huzzah!