The Deal

By Bernadeen

Rated: M

Spoilers: Goodbyes, Standards of Conduct, and almost any other episodes before the end of season 8.

Disclaimers: I don't own and claim no rights to any of these wonderful characters. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

Summary: Of course it's about "The Baby Deal."

Chapter 2

Sarah MacKenzie's Apartment

Georgetown

Same time

Mac sat quietly lost in thought. She had received a letter from Chloe today. It was filled with excited descriptions of boys, colleges she might attend, and her swim team's latest wins. Mac was glad that Chloe was having the teen years Mac had never had. Mac's teens had been filled with physical and emotional violence, and alcohol. She had been on her own at 17 and married at 18. If her Uncle Matt hadn't come for her, she didn't want to think about where she might be now.

But the Marine Corps had helped her find an inner strength that she never knew was there. It honed her body and mind .. gave her the confidence to look people in the face without feeling like they all knew she was a drunk. For years her career in the Corps was all that mattered to her.

And then one day she had been introduced to her new partner, U. S. Navy Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr. The way he looked at her made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Like he was seeing a ghost. Later she learned that was exactly what happened. She could have been the twin of his murdered girlfriend. The woman he wanted a future with. The only woman he ever truly loved.

That was more than eight years ago. At times they had been so close, almost as close as a married couple, without the romance and intimacy, of course. But they knew each other's minds and souls. Then something .. or someone .. would come along and drive a wedge between them. And sometimes they didn't need outside influences to drive that wedge between them. Each had been in romantic relationships with other partners over the years, all unsuccessful and some disastrous. It had been three years since Mac's broken engagement. Harm's last relationship had ended about that same time.

Mac had avoided any involvements since and to her knowledge Harm didn't have a girlfriend either. It was funny to think that she really didn't know whether he was seeing anyone. There was a time when they talked to each other about problems with their current significant other. That ended when she had become engaged to Mic. Their friendship had never been the same after Mic left and she had almost lost Harm to the cold Atlantic Ocean.

She freely admitted to herself now that it was her actions that prevented a closer friendship. She now understood what she had lost. One might argue that she never truly had anything to lose, but she knew different. What she had lost was the chance to have Harm's love. There was a time, she was sure, when they could have worked it out. All she would have had to do was turn to him rather than away from him. But she had been hurt so many times that she just couldn't risk it again. She wouldn't let him in. Her refusal to listen to him had hurt him deeply. She had once heard him say that every man she had ever been involved with was either dead or felt like they were. There was such bitterness in his voice when he said it that she knew he included himself in that group.

Little AJ's fifth birthday was coming up in just a few months. Five years … five years ago they had made a deal. That if neither was in a relationship, they would go halves on a baby. What a silly thing to do! But it didn't seem real at the time. What were the odds that neither would be in a relationship when the time was up? Harm still remembered the promise. He made that clear at her engagement party, and again about a year ago when she mistakenly said that it was going to be AJ's fifth birthday. He was quite adamant that he didn't want to back out on the deal. In fact, he almost sounded hopeful that she would want to move up the timetable because so many other women in the office were pregnant. She laughed it off. With shame she remembered her sarcastic tone when she told Harm he was funny for even thinking she might want to accelerate the deal. She could have been kinder to him. It was one more chance to improve their friendship, and maybe deeper feelings, that she pushed away because of fear. Fear of being hurt again.

AJ's birthday would be the catalyst, she decided. Either the end or the beginning. Was there any chance that they could actually talk, with the other really listening? She admitted to herself that she was to blame for not talking it out earlier. But Harm wasn't particularly articulate when it came to discussing personal relationships either. How could two extremely successful lawyers be such fumbling amateurs when it came to talking about their relationship?

This was their last chance and she couldn't afford to leave it to chance. To the chance that somehow they would figure it out. If they hadn't been able to figure out their relationship in eight years, she had little hope that they could do it in four months. Not unless she took matters in her own hands. Gave it one last try. What did she have to lose? If she didn't try, it was pretty clear what she would lose .. had already lost. If she made one last attempt, there may be the humiliation of rejection, but it was worth the risk of personal discomfort if there was any chance of salvaging their friendship and anything more that might be possible.

So she needed a plan. And how subtle or how straightforward should she be? Well, subtlety never worked very well in the past .. and truth to tell, subtlety was not her strength. She was used to saying things that needed to be said straight out .. except when it came to her personal love life, she had to admit. When Chris was in prison, she got herself straightened out and joined the Marine Corps. When he showed up a few years ago, she kept telling him to leave, but he never did. She thought she had been clear about it to Chris, but apparently she couldn't get her point across. When she tried to break it off with Dalton Lowne, he couldn't seem to get the message either. And Mic .. she went along with his proposal because she was hurt from Harm's rejection of her. She knew that she didn't love Mic the way she should have to spend a lifetime together, but she could never tell him that.

She didn't want to dwell on her mistakes of the past. With an effort she turned her thoughts to the future.. a future where she convinced Harm that they should give themselves another chance.

Harmon Rabb, Jr. .. he was a very complex person. But did that mean she needed a complex plan to accomplish her goal. No, she decided. Something straight forward. But not too abrupt or she would risk rejection again. She had never practiced feminine things like flirting. But did a woman need to practice that, or did it just come naturally? Some of the teasing and bantering when their partnership was good could be considered flirting. A plan was forming .. actually more like a campaign .. yes, a campaign to win the heart of Harmon Rabb and become the mother of his child.

End Chapter 2