Broken Robin
By Serene's Magick
Disclaimer: Perhaps one day I'll own Teen Titans...until then I'm the fanfic writer!
RESPONSES AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER
Chapter Seven
Obsessions
"What Raven, did something catch your tongue?" Sparrow asked mockingly, his red eyes (did I mention they had color before?) gleaming with amusement tinged with insanity.
"You should be dead."
"Please your little...outburst all those years ago," he paused, evidently mauling over what to say next, "Would only harm another half breed like yourself."
I narrowed my eyes, wishing I could do more but my injured body couldn't handle anymore stress. "You didn't seem to care when you started what caused my little outburst, as you call it."
Sparrow eyes glazed over as one of his hands trailed down my face coming to rest under my right breast. "You're right. I would do the same now if you weren't injured." He breathed.
"Get away from me." I whispered half-afraid he would try to rape me again. "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"
"Tsk tsk," He chided as he floated away from me to sit in the chair by my bed, the one Robin had occupied only a few hours earlier. "That is no way for a lady to speak...especially to one that is extremely fond of you."
"Demons can't be fond of anything. They can only hate and destroy, wreaking havoc wherever that walk." I hissed, each word I said echoing in my mind further reminding my tortured soul that I was half of one of these monster; A monster that still haunted my own mind.
"That's not always true, what do you think some 'gods' were? Please don't tell me you were naïve enough to actually believe that they were immortal without being a demon or having demon ancestry?"
"True...but even 'gods' are killings in their own way. Belief in them has fueled many wars—just as many as demons have." I replied coldly to his mocking tone.
"If you are so sure of this, does this mean that you can't be fond of anything? Or does your Azrathien heritage offer you comfort and allow you to feel?" He asked in all seriousness, his features darkening with his own pondering. "No. It doesn't does it?"
I didn't reply, knowing what he said was already true. In the end demon blood conquered all, as that was a demons purpose—to conquer. Sparrow looked at my sullen expression and let out a cynical laugh at my discomfort. He soon stopped laughing and he was far from silent, "Tell me Raven. If a demon can't be fond of anything, why do you show fondness towards humans? Is it possible that you are wrong in your ideals."
He removed himself from the chair with feline grace and stalked off to the door of the dismal infirmary, as he pushed the button that caused the door to slide open, he threw over his shoulder, "Tell me when you can answer that."
And once again I was left to my thoughts. My thoughts that had been manipulated my Sparrow into thinking about his words. Was what he saying true? Could a demon possibly have emotions that don't revolve around expiration and destruction?
I sighed giving my head a soft shake in hopes to dislodge this unwelcome introspection. I closed my eyes and began to meditate; the hands at my side twitched wishing to be on my knees, my back groaned to sit up. My own body wanted to offer me some semblance of normalcy. Oh, how I wished I could comply; how I wished that I could sit up and pretend that everything was good and right.
Tears that I that I had long since forgotten I had began to fall gently from my closed eyes, they trailed down the sides of my face leaving behind a vivid crimson trail (1). Oh, how I wished that I wasn't fighting a war against someone I once thought I could trust. As more tears fell I began to feel tired, as I lost more of the precious little blood I had left; I descended into the grasping dark that I so often tried to avoid. I fell into the warm void of nothingness and everything—and I felt free. (2)
SPECIAL
Robin's POV
Entering a few moments before Raven starts to cry.
I walked down the steel halls, my boots clanging and echoing down the halls. The leather and various pieces of metal that covered my body tightened or loosened with my every move, as it had started to hang off my malnourished body.
'You would think Slade would feed his apprentice.'
I let out a mirthless chuckle at the thought. Slade care? Ha. Maybe when Sparrow stops being an ass to everyone. On that note who they hell was that man? I knew he was a general for Slade and his second apprentice but everything else was a mystery—and I had lost my love for mysteries over the course the last five years.
My feet stilled as I reached my destination, I had reached the infirmary but...I was reluctant to go inside. How did she view me? As her enemy? As a former comrade that could be helped? No. I was too far gone for her help; I was too far gone even divine intervention to help me.
'Why should I care? Perhaps if I remove the collar, she'll kill me...yes, death sounds like a kind place to be now.'
I pushed the button and waited as the door slid open, unprepared for the sight that appeared on the other side of the door. There was the one thing that I thought could bring me absolution in death, lying broken, twin rivers of blood pouring out of her eyes, on the bed.
Automatically I stepped inside, a sneer forming on my face.
'How dare she! She was supposed to be the one that kept it together, never letting anything get to her...why does she have to be weak now? Of all the times, why now?'
She bit her bottom lip to suppress sobbing aloud, clenched her eyes tighter, and tossed her head to the side. She was praying that these motions would destroy her thoughts, chase away the demons. I shook my head in a mockery of sympathy those things didn't help. Nothing helped.
---Flashback---
Four years, six months, and seven days agoI lay on the floor, bleeding from another beating I had received as punishment for disobeying orders. My mask lay haphazardly across the room along with most of the top of my armor. I, at the time, still had hope that my friends would come and save me from this hell that I had been forced into.
I felt the dull thud of boots on the floor and bit back a whimper as I was pulled roughly up by my hair.
"Still praying that they'll save, Robin." Slade said silkily, "I advise you to stop. They don't care about you...they stopped caring when you lied to them and acted as Red X."
"You're lying."
"It matters not. You shall see." He said it just a silkily as before but this time with an undercurrent of steel—hard, cold, and deadly steel. Then he dropped me unceremoniously back on the floor and left the room.
As his steps faded into a distant echo, tears gathered at the corners of my eyes. I shook my head to stop them but still they fell and fell. I shook my head harder hitting it against the floor and it still didn't silence my thoughts of hopelessness or my tears of despair.
---End flashback---
I looked back at her. Her breathing had slowed a sign that she was asleep. The bloody trails from the corners of her eyes had begun to dry and flak at the edges.
I watched her.
That was all I was good for anyway watching. Watching as Slade destroys the world, as he kills off hope. That's what I am—a watcher.
But what is she?
A fallen angel sent to this blood stained plane to help...or to further the death of a hopeless people? No...she a person. A person fighting for something she believes is right. A fighter. What a perfect way to describe her...to describe the people clinging to a way of life that is dying as surely as she or I am.
I punched the wall and let out a harsh laugh.
"Dying..." I whisper, leaning my head against the cold steel of the wall. "I hope you all die."
"You still have hope?" A tear-harshened voice asked me from behind. "That's more than some have."
Back to Raven's POV nowI was pulled out of the darkness my a sudden clang and a laugh—a laugh from the damned.
"Dying..." I heard the man say, followed by a soft thump against the wall. "I hope you all die."
"You still have hope?" I asked, disgusted at my voice. The voice of someone who could afford emotions and tears. "That's more than some have."
"No." Robin answered curtly. "Hope is worthless."
I let out a broken laugh, "I tend to agree with you. After all, has hope saved me...or you from our own hells?"
"No." He replied with the some tone. "But has it cost you scars?"
"Thousands...it has caused me more trouble than calling you 'sex-deprived'...which you still are."
"Shut the fuck up." He said it, though he said it like he was just playing a part. His own part in this twisted play called life.
"Robin—if I asked you an odd question...would you answer?" I asked hesitantly, I didn't want to ask this of an enemy...a wouldn't even want to ask this of a friend.
"If it amuses me."
"What is the difference between love and hate? Is there?" I knew it was a stupid question but it was something that was plaguing my mind. My mother said she loved Trigon once before he started hurting her, then she hated him.
"There isn't any. Both are derived from desire." He said coldly, turning to look at me. The white hiding his eyes bored into mine. "I could easily love you as much as I hate you. But I don't. I don't have any desire too."
"Desire drives these emotions. Then why can I hate when I'm not allowed to have emotions?" I asked, amazed that we were talking civilly—like before. Like when we debated at midnight at the kitchen table, over cups of tea.
"Desire isn't an emotion, I suppose, it could be categorized as 'lust' which is a sin." Robin said, his voice taking on the lecturing tone he would often get during our heated debates.
"I'm able to feel such things as they are derived from sin." I whispered to myself softly.
'Sparrow didn't lie...demons can feel—just as I can feel all because we were born of sin.'
"Derived from sin...that is a way to put it." Robin said still in debate mode, "Why did you ask me such an odd question?"
"It's a sin for me to feel anything but sins." He lost his Slade persona and let out an amused chuckle.
"You made as much sense as the 'Riddler' on a bad day."
"It's a bad day." I retorted.
He sombered and looked at his uniform, "So it is."
I looked at his uniform as well and reality came rushing back. We weren't teens and we weren't in T-tower, sitting at the kitchen table. The gang wasn't sleeping right above us, we weren't the proud 'parents' of Jump City's young heroes. We were different people...people on different sides of a war. And I didn't care, I would die anyway, why not die knowing at least you had eased someone conscience with mild conversation and childish teasing.
"I wish it didn't turn out like this." I whispered to his stoic form. I watched as he glanced back at me. "As do I—sometimes."
I pushed myself into a sitting position, no longer caring if my wounds tore open (and the did) and bled freely. I grimaced as a pushed my body, further than I should but I had...no I wanted to. My blood made my clothes cling to me and patches of the bandages on my torso began to sports splashes of red. And there Robin stood, watching me but doing nothing. I pulled my legs into my normal sitting style and panted from the amount of energy I had to use just to sit up.
"We...I should have..." I was never able to finish my sentence as the infirmary door opened. My eyes began to glaze over ever so slightly. I was living on borrowed time now. Slade stumbled into the infirmary, only to topple over.
With ten daggers sticking out of his back, still bleeding at a snail's pace.
"Robin if I asked you to remove the collar—would you?" I asked my eyes cracking in the middle of the sentence.
"It's a high possibility...no one can stop me." He said as he walked over to me, a hand reaching out towards my neck to remove the damned collar. A quiet click was heard and the weight on my neck was gone...and my body started to heal myself. I stopped that I would need my energy to do what I was going to do.
"Keep a hand on my shoulder." I ordered. I was slightly surprised when he did as I asked without complaining...then I saw why. There was Sparrow standing in the doorway—a deranged smile on his face, his left hand gripping a bloodied knife.
"I advise you not to do that Bird boy." He said darkly, glaring at the hand resting delicately on my unwounded shoulder. "I suggest you remove your hand from my future mate."
"Azarath Metrion Xythos Gotham." I breathed out and as Robin and I began to fade from the infirmary I passed out. Just as a black clad figure dressed to resemble a bat rushed forward to grab both Robin and me.
Authors note:
Please forgive me for such a late update but as you all know school has started. I also didn't feel like writing because of the presidental election...
I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this but—I was really hoping Kerry would win because Bush has caused so many problems for middle and lower-class families (like mine). So for the past few days I've been very down and I think it kinda showed in this chapter.
I'm afraid there are no recommendations this update... I didn't have time to research for some.
(1) I think Raven because of her ancestry would cry tears of blood instead of the normal saline tears.
(2) As I said before the collar stops Raven's powers. So as long as she has it on, she can feel withougt destroying this.
Reponses to Reviewer (You guys and gals make my day a lot happier, thank you so much)
Amber: Thank you so much! But I feel bad...you didn't get to get rid of Slade yourself.
Keystone: Thank you for responding to my email and giving me constructive criticism, which I think I needed to help me write a more enjoyable story.
Slade's Silver Tear: Cool name. Thank you so much...I'm practicing writing at because I aspire to be a novelist someday. You praise makes my tiny ego inflate. Thank you so much.
Poopy Penguin: Unique name. Thanks...I think I'm going to mark the chapters with more mature content in them so people will know to skip and place a summary at the top of the next chapter.
Mage Gurl 05: Thanks and here's the update.
Kyra: I've updated but you'll know because I've already sent you an e-mail. Hopefully it will be sent.
Dragonslayer527: Your very welcome...though as you see Robin did a complete 180 in his attitude mostly because he thought if he was harsh enough to Raven she would kill him but when he saw her crying he sort of just lost himself.
Kaliann: Nice to hear from you again. I'll try.
KelseyAlicia: Thankies.
Velvet Death: Well from what I wrote at the end of the chapter, I'd say yep Bats is alive!
Cathy: Violence...yep that happens in war fics a lot. Yep Robin softens up...a lot.
Raven-Yumichick: You are a great writer and I love helping others...if they ask.
ChocolateCurlz: Well...Slade got stabbed, I think that is good enough. Don't you?
shiroi-hana: It's pleasure to write for people who enjoy this stories and are extremely happy when they find out that there has been an update.
Scorpio Serpent: I tried but life dictates the updates and the writing time.
Clouded Dragon: Actually I saw it as more as a warning about future allies and such. But I suppose it could be seen like that as well.
Dysphoric: Glad you enjoyed it.
fiddler jones: The blood was slightly necessary to the plot...I think anyway. Glad you liked it.
Moons-Grace: Oooo...pretty name. Well hopefully, if this chapter was any prove, they will start getting along better now and the romance will bloom...