A Sign of the Present Time
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
A/N: Part II of my Draco trilogy. This is actually meant to be a brief interlude between the bookend pieces. Enjoy.
He tossed and turned in his huge, four-poster mahogany bed. Finally, he threw the covers off of him and vacated the bed. He padded down the hall of his flat; the only sound was that of his toes cracking against the wood floor. Having forgotten his wand, he lit two candles in his living room and sank onto the sofa, hoping a change of mattress would alleviate his insomnia.
He ran his hand over his freshly-cropped hair, which, now, was close to the scalp and showed off the small birthmark just above his right ear. Cutting his hair had been her idea, not that he regretted it. She'd just grown tired of his long, blond locks and encouraged him to change it.
He rubbed his eyes wearily and gazed at the coffee table before him. Staring back at him was a photo of a handsome man, a beautiful woman and two smiling children, eight years of age. Any stranger in his home would think this was a family photo; and it was, save for the stranger with the long, blond hair in it.
Andrew and Abby grinned at him from the frame, each flashing the toothless grins of youngsters. Their mother smiled proudly next to them, her arm linked with the seemingly bashful man in the picture.
Draco smiled at the memory this particular picture held. It had been taken just three months ago, in the height of summer. He'd taken Ginny and the children to a street fair in Muggle London. A passing photographer had taken their photo, and Draco had paid him handsomely for it.
He sighed loudly to himself as he looked longingly at Ginny. Though they'd both been denying it, he was falling in love with her, and he thought she felt the same way. They'd never kissed or shared any sort of physical intimacy, other than the friendly hugs she bestowed upon him, but that didn't stop him from craving her smile and her touch.
Most blokes in love were happy, ecstatic even, but Draco felt rather guilty, really. After all, it was because of him that Ginny's husband, the only man she'd ever truly loved, was dead. She'd tried to assuage his guilt, but he still felt it. Even more so, he hated the thought that crept into his mind every now and again that if Remus Lupin hadn't died, Draco wouldn't have the opportunity to spend time with his wife and fall for her.
He swore softly to himself as this thought came to him again. It was wrong to think that, he tried to convince himself. But somewhere, deep in his soul, his old persona, the self-righteous ne'er-do-well prat who always got what he wanted, reared its ugly head. This Draco rationalized that Ginny ought to be happy, that old Remus wouldn't want her to live alone, not when the opportunity to love again was right in front of her.
He shook this thought from his mind as he hastily stood and began pacing in the dark. The mere thought that he actually wanted to replace her beloved in her heart made him sick to himself. He might not have ever known love first-hand, but hearing Ginny talk of Remus and all they'd shared made it plainly clear that he had definitely missed out. And, Draco reminded himself, she'd said herself that even though Remus was gone, her love for him hadn't ended. That was that, he concluded. Ginny would always love Remus, and with true love like theirs, there just wasn't room for her to love anyone else ever again.
He sighed and opted for reading a book, instead of returning to bed. Sleep was futile at this point. This was not the first night he'd lost sleep over this woman, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last.
Ginny spread her blanket out in front of the modest marker that signified Remus' grave. She often came to visit him, to talk to him. Mostly she talked about the children or how much she missed him. But today she needed to vent and ask for his help. After all, he'd been her first confidante during her second year of school, though no one had known at the time.
She always found him easy to talk to, and his being dead didn't take away from that. She knew he was still listening to her and loving her, though he could no longer answer her or hold her.
Of course, she'd told him about Draco's visits, and how proud she'd been of Remus to stand up for the former Death Eater. Ginny thought Remus would want to know how he was doing, so she told him. But now…now things were different. Somehow, somewhere, the nature of hers and Draco's relationship had changed. At least, it had for her.
The children loved him, oddly enough. He was excellent with them, almost fearful and hesitant at times, as if he thought they might break. He'd dried their tears when they'd cried, kissed their wounds when they were hurt; he'd done everything a natural father would do. The only problem Ginny could find was that it should have been their real father doing all those things.
"Oh, Remus," she began. "I miss you even more so today, though I don't know why. You'd have been so proud of me, though. Fred and George tried to slip Andrew a Canary Crème yesterday, but I caught it in time. Those two ought to know better than to try and get one past me.
"The kids are doing well. Abby lost another tooth; that makes 4 so far, I think. Andrew keeps insisting he's got another loose one, but I think he's just trying to catch up to his sister. You should see them in wolf form, love. Toothless werewolves, who'd have thought such a thing?" she asked with a laugh.
"All Andrew can talk about his Hogwarts," she continued. "His cousins keep telling him about this great Dark Arts teacher they have. Of course, no one can compare to you. You were good at everything you did, and you did everything with a friendly smile and an encouraging word.
"I could use an encouraging word about now. I'm so confused, Remus. You know I've been spending time with Draco, right? Well, I've really come to enjoy it and look forward to it. The kids do, too. They think he's brilliant.
"But I don't want to have these feelings for him. I love you, only you, always you. I feel like I'm betraying you every time that I realize I haven't thought of you or missed you in the last hour. What's wrong with me? Am I forgetting you? Am I forgetting our love, forsaking it?
"If you were here, this wouldn't be a problem. If you were here, we'd be together, and the kids would know you. They would know your voice and your smile, and I wouldn't lie awake at night crying because I'm forgetting how you used to touch me and hold me. And then, then I think about Draco touching me, holding me, and I feel terrible, like a…a scarlet woman, or something.
"I know you're not coming back, no matter how much I hope and pray. Remus, I just don't know what to do. I promised to love you until the day I died, and I do; I will. But I have all these… feelings for Draco. I've tried not to, my love, but I do.
"I know what Mum would say. She'd say you wouldn't want me to be alone for the rest of my life, and if the opportunity came where I could be with someone, you'd be okay with it. But I just wish I could hear it from you. I wish you could tell me that it was okay. Is it okay, Remus? Is there some way you can let me know that it's okay?"
Ginny sighed loudly and stretched out on her blanket. She could feel tears springing to her eyes, and she let them fall. Soon, she was asleep.
Some time later, she awoke to something wet prodding her hand. She opened her eyes and started into the brown eyes of a large grey wolf. The animal stared at her, and Ginny instantly felt no fear, though she rightfully should have. Instead, the she sat up and reached to pet the back of the wolf's head. He nuzzled into her touch, enjoying it for several moments. When she went to pull her hand away, he licked it once before turning and trotting off back into the forest.
As she watched him run away, she knew what she had to do. She quickly stood and gathered her blanket. Just before she turned to Apparate away, she smiled at the grave marker.
"Thank you, Remus," she said, her bottom lip quivering with tears. "I love you, too."
With that, she Apparated to the unassuming flat of Draco Black.