Rattrap: And J.R.R. Tolkien owns Lord of the rings.
Beast wars' Lord of the Rings (humour version)
Chapter 1: Prologue
The screen is blank as we hear Rattrap talking.
"The world is changing. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air (thought it could be those beans Rhinox ate). Much of what was once is now lost, due to the fact no one wrote it down"
The title "Lord of the Rings" appears. The scene changes to show Optimus prime, Galvatron and Starscream staring at something and as we pull out we see their looking through a Playbot magazine.
"Hey!"
Hiding the magazine, the three bots quickly hold out three Rings and stare at them.
"Eons ago, Rings of power were created to govern the land of Middle Cybertron. Three went to the Generation One beings, who have too many to count"
Switch now to Sideways and six generic Armada Transformers raising their Rings as if in a toast.
"Seven to the Armada beings, who are nicknamed "the midget catchers"
The scene switches to Rampage and eight generic Maximals and Predacons, who look from their Rings to the camera.
"And nine to the Beast warriors, best of the shows"
A map is now seen, focusing on the land of Goredor.
"But they were all deceived. For in the fires of Mount MOOD! The Dark Lord Unicron forged a Master Ring. And into this Ring he poured his malice, his hatred and his love of Terry Pratchett. One Ring to rule them all"
Show Unicron putting the Ring on his finger.
"And so it came to past that a final alliance of the Beast Warriors and G1ers marched to Goredor and initiated a battle for the future of Middle Cybertron"
A massive battle commences. Get use to it.
"Things were going quite well..."
We see Primus, King of Iacon, heroically slaying an enemy a quarter of his size while Optimus Prime, king of the land of lotsofcash, simply drove over them in his truck mode.
"...Until a certain Dark Lord entered the fray"
A loud boom is heard, followed shortly by a second. Everyone turns to see Unicron, wearing the Ring, approach. Three times the size of anyone present and even stronger than that, Unicron starts to smash the G1/Beast Warriors with his massive mace. Primus charges the goliath and a second later becomes a smear on the far rock face. His son, and the new King of Iacon, Bluestreak witnesses this sight and rushes over to his father's gooey corpse. As he laments, Unicron sneaks up behind him. Bluestreak manages to detect Unicron and reaches for Primus' sword. Unfortunately, Unicron steps on the sword as Bluestreak lifts it, leaving the young king with the hilt and a jagged bit of the blade.
"Just when all hope seemed lost, Bluestreak took up his father's blade and, in the biggest fluke of history, cut the Ring from Unicron's hand"
We see this happens. Unicron explodes.
"Left with the Ring, Bluestreak had this one chance to destroy this evil forever. Any bets on what he did?"
We see Bluestreak a few days later, wearing the Ring around his neck. We then see him getting mauled by a wild horde of fans.
"The Ring, having successfully betrayed Bluestreak to his enemies, lay at the bottom of the riverbed for centuries, waiting for a new, and much smarter, host"
We see a hand scooping the Ring up.
"It was in for a big disappointment"
We now see that it is an ant bot that has the Ring. A generic Maximal walks up to him.
"Hey Scavenger, what that?" the Maximal asked, as Scavengerreplied, "It seems to be a ring of some sort"
"Can I see?"
"NO! It's mine! It's my birthday present!"
"Dude your birthday is not for another three months"
"What your point?"
"It's just a stupid ring"
"You insulted the Queen! BUUUURRRRNNNN!"
Scavenger whips out a flamethrower and melts the nameless Maximal. He then looks lovingly at the Ring.
"My Queeeeeen..."
"And so the Ring twisted Scavenger's mind and body for the next few centuries. Now called Inferno, the ant bot used the Ring to prolong his life. Why? Who knows? Then one day. The Ring, sensing its master was rebuilding his armies, left Inferno to return to its master. Well that and it was fed up of Inferno calling it "My Queen" all the time. However the Ring had the misfortune to be picked up by the unlikeliest of Transformers imaginable."
"Hey a ring" Rook said as he picks up the Ring and examines it when a terrifying yell is heard from a distance.
"The Queen! Someone has stolen the Queen!" hearing this Rook quickly says "Umm bye" before running off as fast as he can.
"And so it was that the Ring went to the bire, the home of the Minicons. A place where, many years later, young Waspinator Baggins will carry the fate of the world in his hands"
We see Waspinator walk on to the screen and says, "Oooh, Zzugar"
"Well, we dead"
And with that we see Rattrap going off to get a drink.
To be continued...
Super Metal Sonic: That was good so, Review or we'll kill Bob Skir.
Rattrap: And that's supposed to be a bad thing?
Super Metal Sonic: Shut up!