How Much Would You Give?

Chapter 5

Jesse's POV

She can't.

I will not let her.

It may be selfish, but I do not care. I was murdered, had everything stripped from me, and watched hundreds of years pass in front of my face. Everything seemed to go wrong in my lifetime. Everything, with one exception.

Sussanah.

I refused to let her go. My time with her already seems so limited, considering she will age. I will not.

Every night as I lay with her, I worry. Worry that she will wake up and have come to her senses and realize how wrong we are for each other. Or maybe she will come home one day from school, saying she found someone. Someone better, who can give her babies and grow old with her.

I worry . . . and . . . and pray for it to happen, because I know it is what's best for her.

But until that day comes, I will keep her. I will keep her as long as I can. For as long as she wants and needs me.

Losing her before I have to is not an option. Which is why I refuse to let her die the way she thinks she has to. For me, none the less. It would kill me. So I will train her as often and as long as I can. Every spare second we have will be spent teaching and learning, until she is ready.

And even if she is not ready to fight in time, I will be beside her at all times, helping in whatever way I can. I do not have as much power as I used to, but I will use whatever I have to help fight that . . . that . . . there is just no word vile enough for him!

If he would have just been alive when I had my shifter's powers, I would-

There is no use working myself up! I have to focus on what is important.

I turned and looked at the sleeping Susannah in my arms. She was so brave, so determined to change my mind. If only she realized impossible that was. I kissed her cheek lightly, then turned my attention back to the million questions and thoughts going though my brain.

A few of them being centered on the three demanding ghosts.

Jacob, Dale, and Mimi were practically strangers to Sussanah and I, but with a blink of an eye, we were expected to trust them.

Trust them?

Ha!

Saving their existence is what is expected.

I do trust them . . . for the most part. At least, I trust Jacob and Mimi. I wish I could say the same for Dale, but there was something about him that set of warning signs in front of my eyes.

The way he looked at Sussannah when she was not looking is what worried me the most. A mixed look of anger and . . . and want was in his gaze as he stared at her. I could never analyze the look any further, because every time he felt me watching him he averted his eyes.

I came to the conclusion that he could want all he wished, as long as he did not touch. It stayed at want, or he was going to get himself hurt.

I am not worried or jealous . . . of course not . . . just protective. And with every right to be.

I felt Sussanah's breathing become less shallow and knew that she had awakened. She turned her body to face me, and slowly slide her eye's open, granting me the sight of her beautiful eyes. She smiled sleepily at me, and I grinned to myself. She was a gift from god. She had to be.

"Good morning," I whispered.

"Good morning," she mimicked and planted a soft kiss on my lips.

I was pleased to see that she was in a good mood this morning. But I had a rotten feeling that it would not stay through out the day.

And I was right. She was already frowning at me.

"What is wrong, querida?" I asked her, wondering what could have gotten her upset so quickly.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a powerful shifter before you died?" She asked, locking her gaze to mine.

"I . . . I, umm-," I did not know how to respond. It was not that I was not expecting the question to be asked sooner or later, just not so suddenly.

She continued to peer at me, looked expectantly at me for an answer. I rummaged through my thoughts, trying to find a understandable way to explain what I needed to say.

"Well?" She asked, growing steadily impatient.

"It is . . . it is complicated, Sussanah," I started, still hesitant.

"Try me." She demanded, a determined look in her eyes.

I was confused. 'Try me'? . . . . she could not seriously be wanting for me to kiss her right now, but that was the only 'try me' I could-

"Just tell me what is so complicated, and maybe I will understand. Let me try," she explained, undoubtedly seeing my confused look.

I nodded and sat up in the bed. "What you have to understand, Sussanah, is that in my time, any kind of supernatural powers- anything they didn't believe was normalcy - was considered demonic. Seeing the ghosts of people who had not passed on, was not considered normal, by any means. Nor were the powers that came along with being a mediator."

I glanced at her. She nodded her head a bit, signaling for me to continue. "Basically, being a mediator was a curse. And that was exactly how I became one."

I turned around and sat in front of her, watching her reaction. She looked perplexed, not quiet understanding what I was saying.

"I was cursed, Susannah." I explained, watching her closely.

"I . . . I still don't get it. I mean, I understand that was not normal then, but why would anybody curse someone to be un-normal? Un-normal isn't always bad." She asked.

"Then, it was. Being un-normal or having demonis-ness was considered the lowest you could be. It was punishable by death."

She did not give any outward reaction, but I could see the worry and curiosity in her eye's. I waited and watched until she was ready to voice her thoughts.

"Why would anyone want you dead?" She wondered, seriously confused as to why anyone would want to put an end to my life.

"I honestly do not know. I was just as confused as you look right now." I responded truthfully.

"You don't remember who it was or anything?"

I felt my eye's darken, and I knew Sussanah was seeing it, too. "Oh, no," I said, "I know exactly who it was. What you do not know, querida, is that the Slater family and I go back much farther than this generation."

She took a second to let what I said sink in, and when it did, her eyes widened considerably. "You . . . you mean a Slater tr-tried to kill you?" She stuttered softly.

I nodded in affirmation. "I have yet to know why he wanted me dead, but it seems the Slater family has not altered in the passing years. They are still killing, still as cruel as ever."

She had paled slightly and was shaking her head while stairing at the bed sheets. "And to think, I actually believed this anger was all about some stupid male ego problem. I thought it was jealousy. How dumb is that?"

I had gotten the feeling that she was just thinking aloud to herself, so I didn't answer. It wasn't dumb, really. Some of the anger between Slater and I did come from the situation with Sussanah.

"So," she began, now sliding her eyes back to my face, "you were wanted dead by a Slater, hence them cursing you. What did you do then? You weren't killed for your shifting abilities, obviously, so how did you escape being caught?"

"Another thing that hasn't changed with the Slaters over the generations, is there mind." He explained, now with a hint of amusement in his eyes and voice. "They don't think things through before they act. Kyle Slater, Paul's great great great . . . well, you understand. He was Paul's grandfather. Regardless, he was not known for his intelligence, and the whole town knew it. When he came barging up to the higher authorities claming I was evil and clearly demonic, the council ignored him. He had no proof. I was able to keep it that way, too, never letting on that I have gained any such powers, while still embracing the gift I was given."

By the time he was finished, Susannah's emeralds were alight with understanding.

"I thought you said it was complicated?" She asked sarcastically and smirked.

"Well, apparently not as much so as I thought." I responded, smiling.

Then her smirk fell of her face as she started to ponder something. "Seriously though, I wish you would have told me this sooner. Think of all the shifting lessons with Paul that could've been avoided."

"I'm sorry, querida. You are right. I should have told you long before now, but it never seemed to be the right time or place." I told her sadly.

She leaned over comforter that was still covering her lap and hugged me softly. "It's okay Jesse. The important thing is that you told me now." She said comfortingly.

We stayed like this, just holding each other, for quite a while before she pulled back a little.

"I love you," she whispered into my ear.

I pulled back the rest of the way and looked in into her eyes. I saw the adore there and my heart, had it still been beating, felt like it would have melted.

I leaned back towards her and kissed her lips softly. After I pulled back, I looked at her with all the love I had and repeated the words to her. She smiled so brightly, she could have lit up a pitch black room.

Now that she was in a better mood again, I decided it was best to change the topic to something that would keep it that way.

"What do you think of think of our three lovely ghost friends?" She asked, killing my hope of a happy topic. "Personally," she continued, "I think Mimi is pretty cool, but she is a little too . . . hyper. But nice, nonetheless.

"Jacob is just plain annoying. I mean, I know he's really freaked out about what's going to happen to him and stuff, but that doesn't mean he should go all spastic on the people who are supposed to be helping save him. He was kinda rude, too.

"Dale . . . Dale didn't talk very much, so it was hard to get a better opinion of him, but he seems kinda . . . moody. Like he thinks he has the whole world on his shoulders, and he thinks it's everybody within a ten foots radiuses fault. I didn't like the looks he was giving you when you weren't looking, either. Like he was pissed at you for somethin'. He seemed like didn't even want to attempt to get us to like or trust him."

I could not believe she got all this from only a couple of short meetings with these ghosts. It was amazing. She was amazing.

"But I might be just over analyzing them. I don't know them very well, so I could be wrong." She was finishing when I turned my attention back to her.

She must have seen the astonished look on my face and frowned again. "Why are you lookin' at me like that?"

"I-I am just amazed. You observed all this from so little time with them." I clarified, giving her my most charming smile.

She smiled again and said, "Well, I told you, I could be wrong. You're right, we weren't with them for very long, so there is a huge possibility that I'm misjudging them. I'm sure you have made a few of your own observations about them and . . . Stop lookin' at me like that!"

I smiled wider as she blushed. "You are right, I did make a few of my own observations. Oddly enough, they are very similar to yours."

She smiled again. "Well, what now?"

"I am sure 'our three lovely ghost friends' will be here any minute. They never fail to show up, do they? Hopefully they will have some news for us about, well . . . him."

"Actually we do," said Jacob, apparently arriving without our knowledge, with Mimi and Dale on his tail, "And I don't think you're going to like it."

&&&&&&&

Hi everybody! Yes, I know, "Four months!" Well, all I have to say is that I'm really sorry, but I was on the other side of the US for almost the whole summer. I didn't have the opportunity to write. But now I'm Back! HAHA!

YA! I am going to try and update a lot sooner than this next time. Hopefully within this week or next.

Thank you for reading!

A special thank you to:

DARKrosePRINCESS

Jesse's Querida

Mrs. Nikki Slater

You guys rock!

P.S. I am really sorry to all you Paul lovers out there! I really have no problem with Paul, it's just how the story played out.

Well, later!

Luv-

Amber