Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Beast wars' Lord of the Rings (humour version)
Chapter 5
Back in the Nemesis, we see Megatron using the Diagnostic Drone to talk Unicron.
"My lord, soon the Ring will be found and all of Middle Cybertron will be yours, yessss"
"Excellent" Unicron said, "Now you will build me an Army of Darkness to rule the land with"
"Of course my lord and you shall have it, yessss"
"And I want it by Monday"
"But that's two days from now!"
"BY MONDAY OR I'LL SEND YOU PASSED THE EDGE OF PAIN AND PUT YOU IN A FATE WORSE THEN A FATE WORSE THEN DEATH!"
"Nooooo! Anything but the Barney and friends sing along," Megatron begged, "I would rather star in a new series Beast Machines written and directed by Bob Skar then listen to that, yesssssssss! On second thought, I would rather be dead"
"Then build the army by Monday"
Unicron's presence then left as Shrapnel, Kickback and Bombshell came into the room.
"Hey boss, so what's the plan, plan?" Shrapnel asked as he approached Megatron,
"The Dark Lord wants an army by Monday, so we must build with haste, Insecticons, bring me the spare parts and the raw materials"
"Where are they kept, kept?"
"Storage room ten" Megatron replied
"Gulp s-s-s-s-storage room ten?" Kickback said
"Yesss, storage roo- what did you do?" Megatron said as he noticed the worried looks on the Insecticons' faces,
"Well… you remember when we were short on food that one week and also that we need to keep our clones well fed?"
Megatron, realising what Kickback was saying, storm towards the terrified trio, "You mean to tell me, that your clone ATE THE PARTS!" Megatron yelled.
Scared beyond belief, Shrapnel jumps into Bombshell arms, who in turn leaps into Kickback's arms and Kickback, too scared to realise what he doing, jumps into a surprised Megatron's arms.
Realising what they just did, the Insecticons leap out of Megatron's arms and run to the wall as far away from Megs as they can.
"YOU DOLTS, DON'T YOU KNOW MY VERY EXCESTINCE AND SANITY HANGS ON MAKING UNICRON'S ARMY IN TWO DAYS!"
"Wait, wait, we can fix, we can FIX IT!" Bombshell squealed
"How?" Megatron said, rising an optic ridge suspiciously
"Just let us make one quick phone call"
Half an hour later, a swam of Sharkticons can be seen dragging trees made of Energon to a factory underneath Megatron's tower.
"As you can see, with this plant you'll have an army of Terrorcons ready to destroy by Sunday." Alpha Q said as he showed Megatron the work being done.
"Yessss. Thank you," Megatron then turned and faced the Insecticons, "What did you do with Primal?"
"Oh, we put him at the top of the tower, tower"
"The top of the tower?"
"Yes, yes"
"With no walls and ceiling?"
"Yep, yep"
"Did you at least chained him down?"
"Why, why?"
As if to answer Megatron's question, the sounds of jets as they look up and see Primal flying away.
"Oh, oh"
Meanwhile with our heroes,
"Hey Terror. What's green, gold and looks like a Pikachu?"
"I think that's Waspy's knee joint, Nightscream."
"Do you think he needs this?" Cheetor asked, holding up one of Waspinator's parts
"Unless Waspy wants to be a mime for the rest of his life, I think the answer is yes"
As he watched the three friends fix Waspinator, Rattrap watched the pained look on Waspy's face, "Hey Spots," he said pointing towards Cheetor, "Go and get a blue flower with red thorns, it'll help relieve the pain and keep Waspinator online till we can get him fixed",
Nodding to show he understood, Cheetor runs off into the forest,
One minute later,
"Where the Pit I'm I going to find a blue flower with red thorns" Cheetor yelled when he realised he was standing right beside a bush of blue flower, he then got caught by someone.
Half an hour later, Waspinator started to think that he was going mad as a plant come out of the woods and started talking to him, Waspinator then realised the plant was really a Transformers named Botanica.
"What are you doing here?" Rattrap asked, specking in a G1 language only Botanica could understand,
"I came to warn you," Botanica replied in the same language, "the Ringwraiths are after you. Three on the west bank and two on the east, as for the other four, I do not know"
As Rattrap listened, he places the Semi-conscious Waspinator onto his one of the houses and told Botanica, "You're the fastest rider out of all of us, take him the to the land of lotsofcash."
Botanica nodded as she got onto the house and rode off.
As she rode through the woods, Botanica saw Rampage and the rest of Ringwraiths riding after her, as they reach a stream, the nine Wraiths stop.
"Gives us the wasp and I promise your death won't hurt… too much" Rampage said as he and the Wraiths drew their swords,
Drawing her own sword Botanica said, "If you want him, come and get him"
The Wraiths started charging when a wave suddenly started coming towards them,
"Oh… Slag" Rampage said before he was washed away.
When Waspinator woke, he saw Primal sitting beside his bed, "Good morning Waspinator, it's good to see you awake",
"Primal safe?"
"Yes, I apologise for not meeting you but everything didn't go as planned".
Later, we see Primal and Optimus Prime talking.
"What do you mean we can't keep it here?" Primal asked,
"Exactly that, Unicron will find it, all this will only delay him." Prime replied, " beside it gives me the creeps, those big bug like eyes and that annoying way it talks"
"Umm… we're talking about the Ring, not Waspinator"
"Hmm? Oh yeah sorry, but the point is the same. Unicron will eventfully find it."
"Then we shall destroy it"
"But who? Us G1ers will leave this place soon; we've bought a condo Florida and the Armada are too busy chasing those Minicons too worry about anything else."
"The Beast Warriors shall take care of it" Primal answered,
"Ever since Bluestreak failed to destroy the Ring, the Beast Warriors have been divided." Prime said bitterly,
"But if the heir of Bluestreak's throne takes his rightful place as King of Iacon, they will be united."
"Him? You're joking right? Not only does he pay too much attention to Botanica, he smell really bad!"
"Well he is a rat. Anyway why should Rattrap and Botanica being in love be a problem?"
"They're a rat and a plant, what'll the kids look like?"
And we'll leave these two Optimuses (or whatever the plural is) as they stare in horror at the images of rat/plant fuzors in their heads. Later, we see Primal, Waspinator, Prime and Rattrap are in meeting with representative from each show.
"We've call you all here so that we can discuss on this dark fate that has befallen us," Primal then turned to Waspinator, "Bring it forth"
Waspinator then put the Ring onto a pedestal and as the bots whispered hurriedly to each other, Dinobot, representative for the Beast Warriors and son to the steward of Iacon, stood up.
"Don't you see this is a blessing? For years my father has hold back the minions of Unicron, give Iacon the Ring and we can destroy forever."
"Your nuts Lizard lips," Rattrap said, "da Ring will only obey Unicron and use everyone else."
"And who are you to throw opportunity away?" Dinobot snarled back.
"He is Rattrap, descendent of Bluestreak, and the king of Iacon," said Tigertron, one of the G1 representatives.
As more murmurs go through the crowd, Dinobot replied, "Iacon has no king, just an empty throne, it needs no King."
Putting his hand up to silence the groups of Transformers, Prime said, "Rattrap is right. The Ring is too dangerous to use it must be destroyed."
Quickstrike, a member of the Armada representatives, stood up and yelled, "Then what are we waiting for, Partner!" and slammed his axe down onto the Ring only to see the axe shatter and his helmet flying off and hitting Galvatron.
"Only the Fires of Mount MOOD can destroy it" Primal said as Quickstrike stood back up.
"So now, we must choose who to send"
Soon the room is filled with noise as the bots argued and in some cases wrestled with each other, until Waspinator yelled,
"Waspinator will take the Ring," as the crowd quietened, he added, "Thought Waspinator does not know the way"
Primal, with a smile, said, "Then I shall help you."
"You'll also have my sword" Rattrap said,
"And my bow" Tigertron added,
"And my axe" Quickstrike added as well,
After while Dinobot says, "Very well brave one, I shall join you"
"Very well the fate of the world lies in the hand of you six" Prime said, when Terrorsaur ran out of his hiding place, "Waspy isn't going anywhere without me there to help."
"Nor does it seem we can keep you apart when one of you is called to this meeting and the other isn't",
Cheetor and Nightscream then choose that moment to come out of their hiding place,
"Hey, wait we're coming too." Nightscream said,
"Yeah," Cheetor said, "You need smart guys like us for this Quest…Mission…Thing"
"Well that leaves you out".
"Nine mechs brought together by one purpose. So you will be known as The Fellowship of the Ring" Prime said with dramatics.
"Great!" Cheetor said, "Where we're going?"
To be continued…
Super Metal Sonic: Please Review.