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Beast wars' Lord of the Rings (humour version)
Chapter 6
We see our heroes, The Fellowship of the Ring, walking across the sunset; not one of them is lacking strength, courage and determination.
"Are we there yet?"
"No"
"Are we there now?"
"No"
"How about now?"
"No"
"Now?"
"NO"
"Well, when are we going to be there?"
"We still have a long walk ahead of us, Cheetor"
a moment silence,
"Are we there yet?"
"RRRAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH! KILL YOU NOW!"
After restraining and sedating Dinobot with horse tranquillisers, the Fellowship stopped to rest and plan their travel route.
"…And after we pass through Polyhex, we'll travel through the gate of Primus" Primal said as the rest of other Maximals and Predacons listened,
"Now hold on there partner," Quickstrike said, taking his pipe out of the mouth of his snakehand, "it seems to me that we all taking the long way around. We can get there quicker by going through the mountain mine of Kalis"
"I wouldn't take the route thought Kalis, unless it was the only chose" Primal replied grimly, "Once we take the path through the gate of Primus we'll cross the river to the east bank and enter Goredor thought that way"
"Yeah, and do you know what's beyond the east bank? A twisting maze of rocks and cave, and after that nothing but marsh as far as the optic can see"
"Um I don't mean to interrupt but why don't we fly there?" Cheetor asked,
"…"
"Shut up Cheetor" Primal replied
"Now hold on, that's a good idea," Quickstrike said,
"Shut up Quickstrike"
"Now Optimus, that's unfair to tell them to shut up"
"Shut up Tigertron"
"Hahaha, for once no one is telling me to shut up" Rattrap laughed,
"Shut up Rattrap"
"Oh well had to end sometime" Rattrap replied with a shrugs.
Suddenly Tigertron looked up, following his gaze, the heroes saw a flock of bird-like transformers flying towards them.
"Hide!" Rattrap said as he and the others ducked behind cover,
"What are those?" Nightscream asked as he watched the avian transformers fly into the distance
"They are the Divebomb Terrorcons, Megatron's spies in the sky. Fast, strong and smart"
Cut to two Divebomb sitting on a sofa and hitting each other on the head.
Cut back to the Fellowship, "Their heading towards Polyhex" Tigertron said,
"Then path through Polyhex will be guarded" Primal said,
"Oh well onward towards Kalis." Quickstrike said, starting toward Kalis. Picking Quickstrike up off the ground, Primal said, "Not so fast, we will that the path through the Ice Mountains".
Cut to Megatron's tower.
"So. They seek to travel through the Ice Mountains," Megatron said as he and the Insecticons watched the Fellowship's journey through the Diagnostic Drone, "would you truly take the path through Kalis, Primal, if there was no other choice?" After a moment of thought, Megatron turned to Shrapnel and said, "Get the stereo and the Transformers the movie soundtrack".
Cut back to the Fellowship as they travel through the mountain.
Cheetor slips and falls backwards into Nightscream, who falls into Terrorsaur, who knocks into Waspinator, causing him to tumble down the small slop they were on. As Waspinator slowly stood up he realised that the Ring wasn't around his neck anymore, looking for it Waspinator saw Dinobot picking the Ring up.
"Amazing how something so small can cause so much fear" Dinobot said, a whisper of a voice talking into his audio receptors.
"Dinobot," Primal said, "Give the Ring to Waspinator"
With a smirk, Dinobot handed the Ring back to Waspinator. Then the ground started shaking as a load voice fills the air.
"What's happening?" Cheetor asked,
"This is the work of Megatron!" Primal said.
We switch scenes to see Megatron standing on top of his tower with a stereo and playing "Instruments of Destruction"
"Yesss…. INSTRUMENTS OF DESTRUCTION! TOOLS OF POWER PLAY!" Megatron sang.
Cutting back to the Fellowship, we see the nine heroes avoiding an avalanche.
"It's too dangerous to continue this way!" Tigertron said,
"Then we'll find another way" Primal replied,
"But any other way will takes weeks" Rattrap said,
"Except for Kalis," Quickstrike said,
Primal hesitated and then said, "Let the Ringbearer decide".
Waspinator shifted nervously from one foot to the other and then answered, "Waspinator zzayz, go through Kalis".
"Kalis, greatest of the Armada mines." Megatron said, sitting in his library with only a candle for light, "But now all there is are Sharkticons and death. But that is not all they found and you know it Primal, that's why you did not wish to take the Kalis path. They dug too deep and awakened something that should not have wakened. Something deep and ancient"
As the Fellowship approached the door that led to Kalis, Quickstrike began to translate the Amardaish writing over the door, "If ye wish, welcome to Kalis, speak friend and enter",
"So what does that mean?" Nightscream asked,
"Simple partner," Quickstrike said, "Ya just say friend and enter, watch," Quickstrike then said the Amarda word for friend but nothing happened.
"Perhaps it would be simper to use the key." Primal said as he held up a key. After entering the mine they were shocked to see the bodies of dead transformers filled the hallway and the evidence for Sharkticons in the mine as well. Gingerly, Primal picked up a tome (That's a book incase you didn't now) from one of the dead Transformer's hands and began to read the last few pages,
"They have taken the bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes, drums... drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A shadow lurks in the dark. We can not get out... they are coming."
"Primal," Waspinator said will he and Primal were a distance from the others, "There'zz zzomething down there", Primal turned to look at the red mech that was crawling over the rock below them in the shadows.
"It's Inferno," he said. "He's been following us for sometime now"
"Ant-bot ezzcaped?" Waspinator asked,
"Escaped or realised. Inferno hungers for the Ring like Unicron, blindly serving it, forever the Rings slave."
"Why let a pathetic creature live?"
"When you finally see him. You, like many others, will feel pity for him."
Suddenly, they turned to find a hoard for Sharkticons surrounding them.
"Come on then!" Quickstrike yelled, brandishing his axe, "There's still one Armada Transformer breathing in these mines!"
The Sharkticons and Fellowship then battled when a deep roar and unholy anger filled the hallway, causing the Sharkticons to flee.
"What was that?" Dinobot asked,
"The reason I feared coming into the mines. Awakened when the Armada dug too deep into the mine and released when the Sharkticons invaded… The Tidalwave".
At Primal's final words Tidalwave, a huge Transformer surrounded by flames and holding a flaming sword and whip in his hands, entered the hallway,
"Rattrap I leave the others in your hands. Run for the exit. And do not turn back" Primal said as he began to say a chant. After Rattrap and the others ran a good distance they stopped and turned to see Primal as Tidalwave advanced towards. As Tidalwave towered over him, Primal raised his sword and staff into the air and yelled at the top of his voice, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" and the stabbed the ground with the staff, causing the stone beneath Tidalwave's feet to break away.
As Tidalwave fell into the darkness below, he cracked his whip, causing it to wrap around Primal's foot and pulling him over the edge.
Holding on to the edge, Primal looked up at the shocked faces of the Fellowship and said, "Run, you fools" before he lost his grip and fell into the darkness as well.
"NNNOOOO!" Waspinator, Terrorsaur, Cheetor and Nightscream yelled as Rattrap, Dinobot, Tigertron and Quickstrike tried to stop them running to Primal. As they reached outside, they slumped onto the ground in sadness, the four half-bot with tears into optics.
Rattrap, a grim and solemn look on his face stood up," Come on, we need to get moving"
"Show some compassion!" Dinobot snarled, indicating towards Waspinator and the others,
"If we don't leave now, we'll be surrounded and none of us are any condition to fight," Rattrap yelled back.
And so the Fellowship left the mines, with harts heavy for the lost member for their group.
To be continued…
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