Chapter Four

Willow awoke early that morning in a damp alley. She tried to focus herself so she could remember just how she got there. Her clothes were wet, hair a mess and head was pounding.

She had de-ratted Amy after Tara left. She was so angry that Tara had left her without trying to understand her predicament. She was thinking how selfish Tara was being and looked at Amy's cage. She quickly came up with the idea to break the rat spell on Amy in hopes of having a fun magic partner. "Now it's time for the party to begin," she said in a devilish voice.

So after the two had spent an hour in Willow's room catching up on the time Amy had missed, they ventured out into the late night. Amy remembered this guy who used to juice her up with magic before she turned herself into a rat. Willow had no idea the depths of magic Amy was heading towards back then but knew now.

Amy had taken her to this guy, Rack was his name and he lit her up with a magic so strong that she floated around the room for what seemed an eternity. When she came back down to the floor her energy was crackling with dark magic and she wanted to have some fun.

They headed over to the Bronze where they performed spells to liven up the place; spells such as a better ambiance and making most everyone attracted to them. She recalled Amy going off with Spike for some reason which wasn't going to please Buffy if she had any emotions left to become displeased.

Willow grew bored with the Bronze after dancing with a few girls and realizing they just weren't Tara. She hopped in a car and drove around and then this demon started after her. He was banging on the car windows and such. She remembered the thud as the car connected with a human due to her careless driving. She remembered jumping out of the car and running for what seemed an hour. She got to this alley, laid down on the dirt and began to sob. Everything that she'd done was coming back to her at that moment and she cried a river of tears; calling out into the empty night for help but none came. She was all alone with her world closing in on her fast.

"Willow!" The not so soothing voice of Tara calling out to her jerked her out of her reverie. Her body was trembling and the tears were falling hard.

"I-I-I-I-I may have killed someone." Willow choked out between racked sobs which were so strong you could see her chest heaving. "Down the other end of Wilshire Drive I-I-I," Buffy broke out of the alley in a sprint as Tara stood looking at Willow.

"Willow," she came closer to the distraught Wiccan putting her hand on her trembling arm. "Willow, you need to get cleaned up."

Willow tried to stand but her throbbing head and dizziness from the magic withdrawal had made it impossible. Tara helped her to her feet and let her lean on her. "Willow, what happened?"

- - - - - - - - - -

Tara walked in the front door of Buffy's house holding Willow up. Giles took one look at her and a knot welled up in his stomach. He remembered his days with the dark magic and knew that look all to well. Something had gone terribly wrong in young Ms. Rosenberg's magic trek. "Dear Lord!" He exclaimed as Dawn looked at the two women with a shocked but non-sympathetic look.

"She needs to get cleaned up and have some coffee." Tara said trying to hide her concern from the witch. She knew Willow needed help but feared if she were the one helping to much, Willow would fall back on her strength and not truly learn her lesson. She also knew she couldn't just throw her aside either.

Buffy came through the door in an angered huff. She was still trying to gain her emotions but the only one she could seem to muster for her long time friend now was anger. She had gone to where Willow told her to and there in a ditch well hidden by the trees laid the still body of Dawn's friend Janice. Willow had killed a young girl for no other reason than that of a selfish one. She wanted to use magic and wallow in her own self-pity for Tara having left and poor Janice paid for it all. "Giles," Buffy said softly upon seeing her watcher. She didn't regard him happily or sadly, just a quick nod. He took notice to this as she looked at Willow with angered eyes. "Janice is dead," Buffy hissed out at the redhead.

Giles took note of this also. A year ago, Buffy would not have dreamt of letting such a bad piece of news out in such a fashion but now she did simply because, he concluded, she was going through the motions. Slay, come home, sleep, go slay with only brief moments of her former self emerging from the shell that now was Buffy Summers. He too felt anger well up inside him; Willow had acted in a totally selfish way even if her intentions were good.

Tears fell down Dawn's cheeks as she looked at Willow with a loathing in her eyes. "I hate you! I hate you and your magic! I wish you would have died, you murderer!" The teen raced up the stairs and slammed her door.

A ray of emotions began to play on Buffy's face as Tara touched her hand in a calming gesture while still holding onto Willow who looked as though she wanted to harm herself. She felt for Dawn, wanted to help her, felt for Tara knowing the predicament she found herself in and knew it was time to do the Buffy thing. "Tara," she began softly. "I'll take care of Will and you go talk to Dawn." She hoped beyond all hopes that this would alleviate some of the stress from Tara.

"I'll help you with Will," Xander offered not knowing what to say or do. He was upset at his friend earlier but now he felt hurt for her.

Tara looked between Willow and Buffy not knowing what to do either. She wanted so badly to comfort her recent ex-lover but knew that could be costly for several reasons. She didn't want Willow depending on her forgiveness then using magic to stop her pain nor did she know if she could look her in the eyes. First she tried to take her memory and then she murdered someone. Somewhere deep within Tara's heart, she knew Willow never intended for things to go this far but it happened because she refused to take heed to the urgent warnings of others.

Willow was now paying a heavy cost for her enormous lack of judgment and will power. It hurt Tara to see her in this shape but on the other hand, Willow had broke Tara's trust and heart when she tried to perform a spell on her. Also, though she didn't mean it, Willow carelessly took another human life. These were things Tara didn't know if she could ever get past in order to rebuild a relationship with Willow but there was one thing she knew she had to do for her own peace of mind. "N-N-N-o Buffy," she stammered with shaking hands. "You go take care of Dawnie, I got Willow."

Buffy looked at Tara and for the first time since she was resurrected, tears fell from her eyes. She felt hurt deep down for this lovely woman who glowed with compassion. She wanted nothing more, at that moment, then to take the broken yet strong woman into her arms and shelter her there. She didn't understand this overwhelming need to protect Tara both physically and emotionally but it was there and growing stronger. "All right, Buffy said as she shuffled up the stairs to try and help Dawn wondering just what was to come for the battered Scooby gang in the near future.