Zim is dragging GIR around the stalls, trying to find a way up somewhere. Meanwhile, GIR is slapping his legs in some kind of bizarre playground ritual while giggling to himself. Eventually, he comes up against the entrance to a stairway with an Irken sign above indicating to Zim that this is the place to go. As he walks up, an Imperial guardsman pops up out of nowhere (complete with mist) and bars his way.
GUARD
INVADERS AND IMPORTANT PERSONS ONLY! BEGONE WITH YOU, PEON!
ZIM
Peon? I AM ZIM! You cannot deny Zim the greatest honour this Empire can bestow!
GUARD
Well, see me try.
At this point, Skoodge and Pudge make an appearance behind them. GIR notices Pudge and stares at him dumbfoundedly.
SKOODGE
There's no point, Zim. I've been trying all morning. They just don't seem to like us for some reason.
ZIM
Who else is up there?
SKOODGE
See for yourself.
Zim looks up and sees a number of the 32 official Invaders already up there, as well as a number of important dignatories in above the Invader's seats, featuring two large seats, presumably for the Tallest themselves. Of particular note is Larb, who seems to be apart from the other Invaders in that he's surrounded by a number of Service Drones who heap all kinds of praise and snack foods on him.
ZIM
What's Invader Larb doing with so much praise? That should be ME up there!
SKOODGE
He's not an Invader anymore. Since he conquered Vort he's been made Commander, with his own fleet, his own entourage, and his own fully-stocked, perfectly-maintained vending machine. He may seem arrogant, but he's really a nice guy deep down.
Larb momentarily seems distracted, looking at the playing fields, then at Invader Tenn's seat.
LARB
Hey! She has a better seat than me!
Two Imperial Guards appear alongside her and pick her up.
TENN
Huh? What? WAIIIT!
...and throw her straight off the building. She screams for the entire journey down, but her fall is broken by...Skoodge, who happened to be standing underneath. As his body is embedded in the concrete, she picks herself up and tries to get her feet free of his flesh. Zim lends her a hand.
TENN
Someone conquers an oversized couch and he thinks he rules the universe.
ZIM
He just got lucky.
Tenn stands on the pavement beside Skoodge and dusts herself off, slowing down when she notices who it was who helped her out. A few moments of stony silence and then she screams and runs for her life in the opposite direction. Zim is unrepentent.
ZIM
THAT'S RIGHT! ALL SHOULD FEAR THE WRATH OF ZIIIM! Come GIR!
GIR is still staring at Pudge.
GIR
You're so purdy.
PUDGE
PUDGE DOES NOT RECOGNIZE "PURDY"!
GIR
I like youuuu...
ZIM
GIR!
Zim grabs GIR by the antennae and physically drags him away. Skoodge groans in discomfort.
SKOODGE
Such great guys... (falls unconscious)
ABV: OLYMPIA STADIUM
Meanwhile, high above the stadium a number of floating screens are collecting featuring the announcer from TNB back to his old announcing ways.
ANNOUNCER
The 48-hour SIR-a-thon, sponsored by Irken Footwear, the finest manufacturer of Irken boots made by the best in third-universe child slave labour, is proud to announce the arrival of our omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, omni...something leaders, THE ALLMIGHTY TALLEST!
A giant cheer erupts from all corners of the stadium as the Tallest's personal shuttle comes in to dock above the main stand. The underside of the ship opens up to reveal a lowering platform with the Tallest perched on top. Huge beams concentrate on the Tallest as they wave to the crowd.
PURPLE
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?
The entire crowd answers in the affirmative. Meanwhile...
INT: SERVICE SHAFT
...inside a high-up darkened service shaft a figure watches the Tallest through slit blinds.
TAK
Oh, you're gonna rock all-right...
Tak then proceeds to climb down the shaft.
EXT: SIR-UNIT STALLS
At the same time, Zim has dragged GIR all the way to the SIR stalls, where a number of downtrodden service drones are busy having the lifeforce drained out of them. Zim goes up to one of them and holds GIR up towards him.
ZIM
My SIR unit is taking part in the competition. Take good care of it unless it starts being irritating, at which point I give you the strongest encouragement to do horrible things to its head.
GIR is staring at the sevice drone with a suggestive grin on his face.
GIR
Are you the mime?
SERVICE DRONE BILL
What?
GIR grabs onto Bill's face and smooshes it beyond recognition.
GIR
YOU ARE THE MIME! YOU ARRRRE!
ZIM
Anyway, have fun!
Zim leaves Bill to grapple with GIR and wakes away with a spring in his step.
TENN (O.S
Hasn't arrived yet? Did you check?
Zim stops and listens into the conversation
SERVICE DRONE JILL (O.S
Yes, we've checked.
TENN (O.S
Well, could you...I dunno...check again?
Tenn is leaning over a desk, arguing with the Stalls manager.
JILL
Just take our word for it, we have received no parcel addressed to you.
TENN
But that parcel had my SIR in it! I had it specially modified! I was assured it would turn up on time!
JILL
I'm sorry, but as far as I can gather, the postman who was scheduled to deliver the package was arrested out front for brutally murdering a security officer.
TENN
What? YOU KNEW THIS? What happened to the package?
JILL
Got lost.
TENN
You just really enjoy torturing people don't you?
Jill bursts into maniacal laughter while Zim listens in, intrigued.
ZIM
Hmmm...if I find this modified SIR unit, I could get into Tenn's favour and get up to the stalls. Wait, Zim doesn't accept favours! (thinks) I could BRIBE her!
Zim smiles with glee.
INT: SIR-UNIT STALLS
Meanwhile, GIR is chucked into a pen and the door slammed behind him. He looks behind him at the closed door.
BILL (O.S
Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get along just fine with the other SIRs.
GIR looks in front and notices a room full of red-eyed SIRs, testing weapons, sharpening claws, getting into melee fights, all glaring at cute 'lil GIR with intense anger and despisal. GIR just smiles and waves at them before walking, devoid of fear, towards a power terminal, grabbing onto a terminal, shocking himself, giggling, then repeating it several times. The other SIRs glare at each other incomprehensibly.
INT: OLYMPIA STADIUM
A service drone is holding out a tray along a long pavilion and walking down while Tenn approaches from the opposite direction.
SERVICE DRONE LOU
OVERPRICED SLUDGE! GET YER OVERPRICED SLUDGE HERE! IT'S HORRIBLE, BAD FOR YER, BUT IT'S ALL YER GONNA GET! GET YER OVERPRICED SLUDGE HERE!
Tenn turns into a doorway while Zim sneaks up behind her, ducking behind pillars and peering out as he goes.
INT: GUARDHOUSE
Zim peeks through the doorway and quickly hides again as Tenn momentarily looks behind her. She turns to the desk above.
TENN
AHEM!
The over-sized Irken guard at the desk turns around, irritated at the interruption of his snack-eating, then becomes a bit more adulatory as he realizes who's speaking to him.
SECURITY GUARD
Oh! Invader Tenn! Uh...how can I help you?
TENN
A package was meant to be delivered to me some time ago. I understand the one who was supposed to deliver it happened to kill someone at the entrance?
SECURITY GUARD
Oh that! We had to take the parcel as evidence. But if it's yours, I guess you can have it back. SKUD? ACTIVATE THE EVIDENCE-ASSEMBLER!
A bored-looking fellow guard presses a button and a hatch opens up. Out of it comes a six-limbed cross between a monkey, a gerbil and some form of goat, but green, bearing a cardboard box with a large sticker saying "TO: TENN" on it. The creature sets it down in front of Tenn and scuttles off. At the doorway, Zim clenches his fist as if to say "drat". Tenn moves towards the box, opening the top and peering in. Abruptly, a great big claw latches onto her head and Mimi emerges from the box, jetting up into the air and through the door besides a startled Zim.
INT: OLYMPIA STADIUM
Zim is knocked sideways as Mimi jets by and runs a semi-circle around him into the underground tunnels below. Zim stands up as a group of guards run out from behind him in order to see where Mimi went, but only Zim seems to know.
ZIM
That was Tak's robot! Oh this is bad! This is so very bad! Ugh, where's a SIR unit when I need one?
SKOODGE
Maybe I can help?
Zim jolts sideways as Skoodge and Pudge appears to have emerged beside him.
ZIM
SKOODGE? What are you doing here?
SKOODGE
I don't really like sports anyway, and the incredible pain in my spine really got me thinking about how lucky it is to have a friend like you.
ZIM
(in shock) ...get away...
SKOODGE
Pudge? You couldn't track down Tak could you?
PUDGE
PUDGE ACCEPTS YOUR COMMANDS! PUDGE BURN STUFF!
Pudge runs to the entrance to the tunnels and leaps down, while Zim and Skoodge follow.
INT: MAIN STAND
The Tallest are sitting there looking bored. Larb is still looking smug underneath.
RED
How long does it take for these events to start? It's taking FOREVER!
LARB
They're waiting for you to give the word.
PURPLE
We can do that?
LARB
Well, you ARE the almighty leaders of the Empire.
RED
That is so true. Very well. LET THE COMPETITION BEGIN!
Nothing happens.
LARB
Uh sir? You have to turn the microphone on.
RED
(pause) I knew that. (presses a button on his seat) LET THE COMPETITION BEGIN!
ABV: OLYMPIA STADIUM
A cheer erupts from the crowd as the announcer begins his monologue.
ANNOUNCER
With the endorsement of our Tallest, the 48-hour SIR-a-thon will begin in earnest. Let's meet the contestants!
In the centre, smoke machines herald the arrival of the SIR units, one after another, all fairly identical to each other and snarling in preparation for the main event.
ANNOUNCER
After more than a year of braving the most horrible conditions imaginable to Irken beings, these murderous robots are ready to tear apart their competition in a blood-bath of frenzy, carnage, and all-round nastiness!
While at the very end, GIR stands lop-sidedly in complete ignorance of it all. Ooh-ing at the spectacle, he becomes distracted and wanders off stage, at which point he's forced back on by a nearby guard. He tries to run back, but a large electric prod dissuades him further.
INT: UNDERGROUND TUNNELS
The cheering of the crowd echoes even here. The tunnels are almost pitch-black and skanky. Mimi is clamped around Tenn's head as she jumps down off a tunnel head and lands in the muck.
TENN
What's going on? I can't see!
TAK (O.S
Let go of her, Mimi.
Mimi lets Tenn drop into the muck. She collects herself.
TENN
Thank you! Now if you could explain the meaning of...eep.
The "eep" was in response to Tak, who was towering over her with a certain lack of empathy.
TAK
The meaning of this? I'll give you a meaning. You smug little Invaders, thinking that a certificate and a lifetime of kissing the Tallest's feet makes you better than the rest of us. I worked hard to become an Invader! I was better than ANYONE ELSE who applied! But what happens? The very one who ruined my chances gets commended while I get stuck in a dump! Is that right? IS IT?
Tenn backs away a little
TENN
Okayyyy...you got some grievances...but wouldn't it be better if it went through...you know...the proper channels?
TAK
No, it would be better if you all died horrible painful deaths. And YOU are going to help me!
TENN
No way! My colleagues will wonder where I am, you'll see!
INT: MAIN STAND
The Invaders are almost all present, except for a few glaring exceptions.
GRAPA
Hey, where's Tenn?
LARB
Who cares? OH! HERE COMES MINE!
EXT: STADIUM PLAYING FIELDS
Two SIR units, one distinctive in it's purple painting (obviously Larb's work) face off against each other.
ANNOUNCER
First up is the one-on-one match between the SIR unit of Invader Sneaky-on-foota and the SIR unit, coated in imperial colours, of our esteemed Commander Larb! The two are just circling each other-
The normal-looking SIR unit then jets into Larb's and crushes it against the wall of the arena.
ANNOUNCER
-and Larb's unit is down! Oh, this is going to be such a humiliation for the Commander when word of this gets around-
INT: MAIN STAND
Larb, irritated, indicates to a nearby guard, who projects a sniper-rifle device onto hi shoulders and fires.
EXT: STADIUM PLAYING FIELDS
The ordinary SIR unit promptly blasts into smithereens.
ANNOUNCER
-but wait! Larb's SIR has made a stunning comeback and Sneaky-on-foota's has been annihilated! This is quite a shock isn't it?
INT: MAIN STAND
Larb looks exceedingly smug at this turn of events.
GEORDIE-ACCENTED ANNOUNCER
It sure is, Kip.
INT: UNDERGROUND TUNNELS
Pudge leads the way as Zim and Skoodge follow close behind. Zim seems to be cracking up.
ZIM
Oh! This is taking forever! I'm missing the starting matches! The pretzels must be all sold out by now!
SKOODGE
Wait, I think Pudge has found something!
Pudge is standing and pointing at an orifice nearby. From where cackling seems to be emanating. As we peer through, we can see Tak laughing at a decidedly disinterested Tenn.
TENN
Can you stop doing that? It's hurting my hearing.
TAK
Oh, you small-minded drone! Do you really think you'll get out of this alive? When this is all over you, and your precious Tallest, and your precious Invaders will be nothing more than so much asphalt by the time I'm through with them!
TENN
Doing what? You still haven't told me what your plan is. How do I fit in?
TAK
Fit in? You fit into the Invader's special clique better than I ever will, so...
Tak does her eye-flashy thing to scan Tenn, and her holographic matrix flickers as she perfectly mimics Tenn's features, even her voice.
TAK/TENN
I'll just do a little swap.
ZIM (O.S
TAK!
The two of them turn towards the opening, where Zim, Pudge and Skoodge are collected.
ZIM
Can't you just take defeat with dignity? I mean, seriously.
TAK/TENN
You'll rue the day you ever crossed me, Zim!
TENN
GET ME AWAY FROM THIS WEIRDO!
SKOODGE
Oh no! Which one's really Tak?
Zim projects one of his spider legs and shoots Tenn in the face, who fall backwards against the floor.
ZIM
Whichever one isn't bleeding.
TAK/TENN
You don't think you'll win, do you?
ZIM
Why not? We outnumber you, after all.
TAK/TENN
Mimi?
Mimi shoots her claw at Pudge and throws him across the tunnel at the opposite wall. He then slides down in a somewhat dilapidated state.
PUDGE
Ugh...Pudge does not enjoy this...
SKOODGE
Um...don't you think we'd better negotiate?
ZIM
Never! (extends spider legs) PREPARE TO FACE MY WRATH, TAK!
Tak/Tenn extends her spider legs in response and charges down one of the tunnels.
ABV: OLYMPIA STADIUM
The centre of the stadium has developed an intricate obstacle course, extending vertically as much as it extends horizontally, which is pretty extensive in itself. The announcer is still floating up ahead.
ANNOUNCER
And the competition is fierce as we move into...THE OBSTACLE ROUND! A massive monolith of mazes, booby-traps and dead-ends that must be navigated in the shortest time possible to ratchet up the most points! First up, Larb! The leader so far thanks to his brilliant strategy of shooting anyone who gets in his way, and he will need all the skills he programmed to get through this one.
EXT: OBSTACLE COURSE
Larb's SIR is stationed at the mouth of the structure, which happens to be near the exit. Behind it the other SIRs are standing, waiting for their turn. A screen nearby counts down, and as soon as it goes "bing", the robot jets off. We can see huge plumes of smoke collecting in the structure, and two seconds later it comes through the other end, arms raised in victory, totally unharmed.
ANNOUNCER
Incredible! Larb's SIR does it again, coming in under 2.5 seconds. It'll be hard to beat that!
GEORDIE-ACCENTED ANNOUNCER
It sure will, Kip.
INT: MAIN STAND
LARB
Heheh...I am so cool.
GRAPA
Ah, shut up.
Larb indicates to his nearby associates, who promptly throw Grapa off the stand. He chuckles light-heartedly.
INT: UNDERGROUND TUNNELS
The chase has been going on for quite a while now, as Tak/Tenn seeks to evade her pursuers. However, she eventually runs into a wall at the end of one of her tunnels. Spider legs dig into the ground as Zim and Skoodge appear behind her.
ZIM
Hah! Dead-end! What do you plan to do now, Tak?
Tak/Tenn looks unsure for a moment, then a mischievous grin crosses her face.
TAK/TENN
ATTACK!
Tak/Tenn and Mimi charge and surprise Zim and Skoodge. Skoodge is sent flying by Tak/Tenn, while Zim grapples with Mimi, evidently losing the battle.
EXT: OBSTACLE COURSE
GIR is lining up to take the obstacle course, sticking out his tongue in indifference.
ANNOUNCER
And next up is Zim's SIR-unit, known as GIR. A late entry with no chances of winning whatsoever, but hey, it's entertainment.
GIR, looking puzzled, looks around for the source of the voice. His eyes eventually drift upward and a big grin crosses his face. He gets ready, then jets straight up.
ANNOUNCER
He's getting ready...AND HE'S...wait, where's he going?
ABV: OLYMPIA STADIUM
GIR jets up from the stadium and latches onto the Announcer's screen, that he proceeds to poke.
ANNOUNCER
Hey! Hey, get off! Stop it! This isn't virtual y'know! Hey! Stop! It's painful! Leggo! Ah! Hey!
INT: UNDERGROUND TUNNELS
Skoodge, heavily bruised, is running like a child away from Tak/Tenn, who picks him up and throws him straight down a chute. She turns back to Zim, who's trying to keep himself from getting crushed by Mimi's ginormous clamp by using his spider legs to push against its force. Abruptly he rolls aside, letting the claw embed itself in the stonework. While Mimi tries to pull it out, Zim picks up a pipe that's been loosened by the claw's impact and batters Mimi's head into the wall. The robot goes dead. Zim flings aside the pipe in triumph.
ZIM
Hah! I defeated your puny robot, Tak! Now how do you defend yourself?
TAK/TENN
Do you think I'd be that short-sighted? SIR UNIT! ACTIVATE AUTO-REPAIR!
A compartment in Tak/Tenn's pak rather unexpectantly begins flashing.
TENN'S SIR
VOICE PATTERN RECOGNISED! AUTO-REPAIR ACTIVATED!
TAK/TENN
Eep.
Tak/Tenn screams as Tenn's SIR rips its way out of her pak and through the ceiling. Zim is knocked back by the force, but Tak/Tenn notices the floodlights streaming through the hole.
TAK/TENN
It's the way out.
Tak/Tenn scrambles through the hole on her way to freedom.
ABV: OLYMPIA STADIUM
GIR is still poking the screen and irritating the Announcer.
ANNOUNCER
WILL YOU STOP IT? THIS IS GOING OUT ON LIVE TELEVISION, I'LL BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE ENTIRE EMPIRE! Fine, you give me no choice.
A robotic arm extends itself from the screen. GIR stares at it enchantedly before it shoots him. The force sends GIR rocketing into the structure of the obstacle course, which then begins to topple.
INT: OLYMPIA STADIUM
Through a hole in the ground Tak/Tenn appears, looking extremely pleased with herself after she lost her two pursuers. But she then notices the shadow creeping over her, and she turns to see the obstacle course toppling over her, blotting out the floodlights. Her face of sheer terror says it all.
The obstacle course impacts against the ground, sending shockwaves throughout the stadium, but in particular toppling straight over the waiting SIR units, who all seem to be crushed by the incredible weight of the thing. Lots of screaming, lots of panic, a typical day when Zim's involved.
ABV: OLYMPIA STADIUM
The announcer looks utterly shocked.
ANNOUNCER
We are so dead.
GEORDIE-ACCENTED ANNOUNCER
We sure are, Kip.
INT: OLYMPIA STADIUM
In the midsts of all the wreckage, GIR appears out of the rubble, totally unfazed.
ANNOUNCER
And...and the winner is GIR! Being the only surviving contender!
The crowd cheers, GIR giggles in glee, and all is right with the world again.
INT: MAIN STAND
Larb just stares, completely traumatised. Red puts a concialatory hand on his shoulder.
RED
Well...it could have been worse.
PURPLE
Yeah...after all you're still alive...
At this point a stray piece of wreckage impacts into the main stand.
INT: OLYMPIA STADIUM
Meanwhile, buried under several mounds of debris, a severely bruised and beaten Tak/Tenn flickers and fluctuates and becomes plain old ordinary Tak again. She tries to get up, but can't seem to handle the strain and just collapses again. Her consciousness perks up when Zim drops Mimi in front of her.
ZIM
Now take your robot and get lost.
Tak just stares venomously as Tenn and Skoodge approach on their respective SIR units.
SKOODGE
You okay here, Zim?
ZIM
Don't go poking your superior "ooh, I conquered Blorch" nose into this, Skoodge! This is ZIM'S BUSINESS!
TAK
Not anymore it isn't. You're all drones. All of you, drones! Idolising that imcompetent egomaniac and ignoring me. (Zim makes "blah blah" motions with his mouth and hands during this exchange) Don't think you've seen the last of me!
ZIM
Sure won't.
Zim extends his spider legs and chucks Tak clean away from the site, before retracting them and dropping back down.
SKOODGE
Sorry, but what just happened?
TENN
Well, as far as I can manage, Tak was beaten by a falling obstacle course that destroyed all the other SIRs except our three, and Zim is now the victor of the 48-hour SIR-a-thon with 47 hours to spare.
ZIM
Ooh, neat! I wonder what prize I'll get...
Zim is promptly thwacked in the head by GIR carrying a "first prize" trophy, and he sits up to see the Tallest accompanied by an inflamed Larb and the 29 other official Invaders, all with bandages and plasters.
RED
YOUR PRIZE IS A TEN MINUTE HEAD-START BEFORE WE BLOW YOU TO SMITHEREENS!
PURPLE
AND YOU SHOULD SEE THE RUNNER-UP!
LARB
You're gonna pay...you are SO gonna pay.
TENN
You get that a lot don't you?
A bunch of guards promptly point tasers at Zim, prompting his immediate flight from the scene.
INT: VOOT CRUISER
GIR is using his trophy as a slushie-cup while Zim relaxes in the cocpit.
ZIM
You know? That day actually went better than most. I showed my incredible superiority while showing Tak a thing or two.
EXT: OLYMPIA STADIUM
We just see Tak's eyes.
TAK
Oh, I'm gonna show Zim a thing or two...
SUPERVISOR
Hey! No slacking on the job!
We pull back to reveal Tak clearing away all the wreckage from the stadium along with Mimi and a long line of service drones under an Irken supervisor.
SUPERVISOR
No break tonight, Janitorial Squad! We need to make way for a shopping mall complex next!
FADE TO BLACK