A/N: Please do not insult my superior intelligence by thinking that I am serious about this fanfic. ;) It is a complete parody of all those boys-turned-buff, girls-turned-hawt fics that lurk out there in the scary world of fandom. I am having a fantastic time writing this, however, so please enjoy it and don't take is as seriously as Draco takes his libido. ;)
Chapter 1
Draco Malfoy leaned back against the brickwork of the wall, his arms folded around his chest and his cool grey eyes scanning the crowd around him. September first. Time to go back to Hogwarts for their sixth year. It would be rude of him to spoil anyone's excitement about this day. So, of course, he was watching people carefully, trying to make out someone whose time he could ruin.
There she was. A little princess, her wavy chocolate hair coming down to her waist and her short grey school-skirt not much further. He could only see her from behind, but that suited Draco fine. The curve that her skirt clung to was providing him with everything he needed.
However. It would be so much more fun to go torment the poor girl … but that would mean moving, and Draco didn't move for anyone. He waited, his head tipped to one side slightly as he watched her move and talk to some Gryffindors he didn't recognise … and one that he did. Weasley. It was then that Draco began to wonder who this mystery beauty with the firm behind was. She seemed awfully chummy with Weasley, and, while this was an asset to the annoyance department, it hindered any warm feelings he had about her body. This did not please Draco in the slightest.
Eventually, she turned around. All the pleasant feelings Draco had been enjoying dropped away in one startled moment. Hermione Granger. The girl he had despised and humiliated – but she was no longer a girl. A young woman was facing him now, with luscious lips (that he had to quickly look away from) and wonderful curves. She'd filled out in the chest department and her school shirt clung to these assets, just like her skirt. Maybe she needed new clothes? Not that any self-respecting boy within ten feet was complaining.
Draco, however, was fifteen feet away, and his mind was complaining quite a lot. So was something else, which was forcibly telling him off for getting it excited over nothing. But it wasn't nothing, Draco realised as he adjusted his position against the wall (why hadn't he worn robes again?); this new and physically improved Hermione Granger was drop-dead gorgeous and he realised – with a jerk of the stomach and something else not-quite-so innocent – he wanted her.
Dear God. Draco Malfoy, the stuck-up Slytherin arsehole (who happened to be a brilliant, good-looking Seeker) really wanted to get Hermione Granger into bed. Or, at the very least, the broom cupboard.
He was going to have to restock his contraceptive potion …