Disclaimer: All the OC characters belong to Josh Schwartz, Josh Campo belongs to me. (Or rather himself as he is a friend of mine, and I have decided to put him in my story).
Author's Note: Yet again, fluffy homosexual scenes to follow.
Thanks for the reviews, and there will be another chapter.
Seth knew the routine. His Dad would hit the door promptly at 6:30, and his Mom would rush in sometime around 7:15, give or take a half a hour. Which meant from the time he entered into the house he had almost three hours of silence. He hiked up to his room, and fell on his bed, kicking off his shoes, hearing sand fall with them.
He wanted to lie there forever, relishing in the fluffiness of a warm bed that was forgiving to his pain, yet at the same time he wanted to smile, and he wanted it to be tomorrow.
Seth stumbled off his bed and pulled off his shirt and examined his back in the mirror, craning his head over his shoulder. Yet Josh had been right, not a mark. Not a bruise, not a welt. Just muscles that were as hard as rocks with tension.
Sandy noticed a difference in Seth the minute he had walked down the stairs, opened the fridge, taken out an orange juice and muttered "hey Dad." between gulps.
It wasn't anything he said, or even anything written in his face. It was almost as if it was reverberating off him. Something happy.
"How was school today son?"
Seth considered it for a moment. A grin rushing over his face before he could stop it. "It was good."
That was the nail in the coffin as far as Sandy knew. Something had happened today. Perhaps Summer had talked to him, perhaps another girl. That grin, that Seth was trying so hard to erase off his face, was a grin that came from a member of the opposite sex, Sandy knew that, he had smiled that smile himself.
Seth lay in bed, his music playing softly, his mind on overdrive. Thoughts he had been forcing out of his head all through conversation with his Dad, and through dinner, for normalcy's sake, simply because he worried he wouldn't be able to keep the smile off his face.
It was Josh.
It was the emo kid with the lanky hair, the facial piercings, and a studded belt. With eyes that made his heart beat.
Yet thinking about him, put a fear in the pit of his stomach. A fear, that he had known for a long time yet had never admitted to himself, a fear that he was gay. A fear that he liked guys. A fear that he would have to tell his parents, a fear that that kids at school would somehow find out and increase their taunts, increase their hate.
He had always been different, he had the Dad that wasn't quite a socialite, the fact that he was Jewish, the fact that he liked different music, and wore different clothes. But this, if he was, if he actually was gay. This was bigger than clothes, music and Judaism. This was a fault line between him and everyone else. It scared him.
Yet it didn't stop him from going back to his stop on the beach the next day.
He had kept his head down during the morning, not wanting to be targeted again. Yet Jay had slammed him into a locker.
"Whaddya say queer? Cos you're going to get some more."
Seth for once hadn't said a word, his back still ached, the muscles still tight and painful. He wasn't anxious for some more time with those boys and a baseball bat.
Jay walked away, and Seth booted it out the door just as the lunch bell was ringing.
He skateboarded down to the pier, and walked to where he and Josh had sat yesterday. He wasn't there. But Seth reasoned with his brain that was still running too fast. If Union ended later, lunch was probably later. Maybe it hadn't even started yet. He tried to imagine Josh sitting at a desk in a public school but the image wouldn't form in his mind, he could only see him at the beach.
So he pretended that he didn't care that Josh wasn't there, he put his headphones on, and lay down, drifting away. So welled up in his own thoughts that he barely realized it was Josh standing over him.
"Oh hey." Seth said casual like, pulling out his ear phones, sitting up.
"Hey. I wasn't sure if you'd be here."
Seth shrugged. "Why not?"
"I don't know won't your super hardcore school notice you're gone?" The answer to that was of course, yes. They would notice. Especially the second day, but he didn't care.
Seth shrugged again.
Josh kicked his shoe in the sand, looking at the Ocean.
Josh sat down, but didn't look at Seth.
"Can I ask you a question Seth?"
Seth matched his detached gaze on the ocean. "Okay."
He could hear Josh's lip ring hitting his teeth again.
"Are we gonna be friends? Because I've had a lot of people mess with me, and pretend to be my friend and I don't want that." Seth could see now, how upfront Josh was being, he had been hurt, and he didn't want it again.
"I'm not going to mess with you. I'd like to be friends." Seth said it in earnest, he meant it, he just wasn't sure if he wanted more than friends.
"I don't have many friends." Seth said, as a way to fill the space, the awkward space. "Actually I don't have any."
"Me neither."
They were both silent. Seth wondered how he could feel so much for someone he had shared so few words with, spent so little time with. Then he wondered how Josh's lip ring would feel kissing him.
The last thought scared him. How innocently it popped up into his head. How much he yearned for it.
Josh didn't know anything about him Seth suddenly realized. He knew he went to Harbour, he knew he hated water polo players, and perhaps thought he was sexually confused. What if he found out all about Seth and didn't like it? Seth didn't like that idea, but he should tell him, so at least he would know.
"I like comic books and emo." It came out a little odd he knew. But it broke the silence, it made Josh look at him, their eyes meeting. Josh's eyes confirming that this was worth it.
"I like movies, the weird indie kind." Josh responded.
"I like sailing, and skateboarding."
"I like politics, and video games."
"Me too. Well not really politics I mean our governor is the terminator, it kind of turned me off, but video games. I like video games."
"I like emo." Josh supplied.
Seth smiled. Josh had been given the keys to the strange Seth Cohen universe and he wasn't running away.
Josh looked back out at the ocean, Seth could almost see the wheels turning in his head.
"I'm gay."
Seth nodded. His mind secretly rejoicing, but at the same time pondering what was a good response, me too? Oh that's nice? He knew if he didn't say something, the opportunity would be lost. Seth had lost too many opportunities to let this one fly away.
His heart sped up.
"So am I… I think." Seth instantly mentally bashed himself for saying "I think." Seth was always so sure about everything, he had concrete beliefs in everything, yet this one question had knocked him. The one question he wasn't positive the answer to.
Josh was looking at him, with a small grin turning up at the corner of his mouth.
"Its okay if you're not sure, I don't think anybody is at first." This comforted Seth slightly, he had never been able to talk about things like this with somebody before.
"D-do you have a boyfriend?" Seth asked him guarded, almost anxious to get the conversation back to the darker part of friends.
Josh laughed almost bitterly. "Me? No." He said as if it was some sort of foreign idea to him.
"Do you?" He asked back almost immediately.
"No." It's not exactly like he would be walking around Harbour with another guy, and who else did he know?
They both looked back out at the ocean. Josh fiddled with the leather wrist band his watch was on.
He didn't want to be friends with Josh, well he did but as he was realizing the more this conversation went on, he also wanted more.
Seth couldn't really describe what happened next. One second he was looking at the ocean, the next second Josh was blocking the ocean. And he felt lips on his. Cool metal brushing his lips. He had never been kissed before, he couldn't describe the way it felt, to have someone else's lips on his, to feel saliva that wasn't his in his mouth. Seth leaned into him, unsure of what to do, but knowing that he didn't want it to end. He opened his mouth and Josh's tongue slipped in, Seth responded with his. He felt like there were sparks of electricity flying between them. Josh pulled away, just enough to take a breath, and kissed him again, as Seth leaned in, their teeth knocking. Seth smiled with Josh's tongue in his mouth, and he could feel Josh smiling too. He opened his eyes, to find Josh's eyes open just inches from his own.
Seth sucked slightly on Josh's lip where his ring was, and he could feel a moan, small almost non-existent grow in the back of Josh's throat and he liked it.
Josh was kissing him deeper now, his hands running through Seth's hair, massaging his neck. Seth cupped Josh's neck in his hand and pulled him closer, running his other hand down his back.
Josh pulled away, slowly untangling himself from Seth. Seth took in a deep breath, Josh's saliva cooling on his own lips. He felt cold and alone without Josh kissing him. He shifted, mostly to hide his hard on in his baggy jeans.
"So.. Wow." It was the only words Seth could manage to pull out of his mouth.
Josh smiled bending in, touching his forehead with Seth's. He breathed in, Josh smelled like the ocean, and old spice.
Seth touched his hair, noticing the sheen of red it had when it touched the sun.
"Are you okay?" Josh whispered to him, Seth could feel his breath brushing against his cheek.
"Yeah. I'm okay." He was better than okay, he was better than he had been his whole life.
"I meant that I just did that."
"We did that." Seth replied, pulling away, and turning to kiss him again.
It felt more comfortable already, as he allowed Josh's tongue to explore his mouth and he did the same thing. The moan was growing again in the back of Josh's throat and Seth wanted nothing more than to make it louder, pulling him even closer, massaging his lips to his own. Josh pulled away, with one hand still running through Seth's curly hair, and the other massaging on his shoulder. He leaned and began to kiss Seth's neck. Seth drew deep breaths as heat tingled down his spine, as Josh's lips, trailed slowly down his neck, his lip ring drawing shocks. Seth let out a rattled breath and a small moan involuntarily. Josh came back up and kissed him, he could taste his own skin on Josh's lips, his neck still tingling and heat running down his neck, and pulsating in his groin.
They pulled apart again, Seth leaning his head on Josh's shoulder. His heart pounding, his blood rushing, his head swimming.
Seth was pretty sure he was no longer unsure.
Josh looked down at his watch.
"I've got to go." His voice sound sad, and his brown eyes surveyed Seth on his shoulder. "I have to pick my little brothers up at school."
"Yeah. You should go then." Seth didn't want to say those words, he didn't want Josh to leave.
Seth shifted over, pulling himself into a standing position, as Josh did the same.
Josh shifted, Seth put his hands in his pockets.
"Do you want to do something tomorrow?"
Josh nodded, running his hands through his hair, trying to smooth it down.
"Do you want to meet at the pier? The arcade?"
"Okay, like noon?"
Josh brushed his lips against his.
'Okay." He turned to leave, and again Seth watched him go. Smiling each time he turned his head to look back at him.
Seth floated on air all the way back to his house. He relived every moment in his head, he probably couldn't pull the smile off his face with a wrench. He couldn't believe it, it had finally happened to him. His first kiss. It had been perfect.
Up in his room, he sat down on his bed just grinning to himself in the mirror, when he noticed he had something, not exactly a hickey, but something close to it on his neck, just above his shirt line, he felt it with his fingers, Josh had been there. He put on a collared shirt that mostly hid it before his Dad got home. Gave himself a mental talking-to, to avoid stupid grins, spacey eyes, and god damnit get Josh out of his head, at least a little bit, or he would never pull this off.
"Seth?" His Dad was home.
"Get down here!" and he didn't sound happy, Seth surmised, yet he practically skipped down the stairs anyway.
He met him in the kitchen. Sandy stood in the battle position, both of his hands firmly on the counter, glaring right at him.
"Got a call from Dr. Kim today, she told me your skipped all your classes after lunch yesterday and today. Care to explain what the hell is going on?"
School, Seth remembered, his head was so full of other things, he had completely forgotten his truancy.
"Uh well. I… wasn't feeling well?" Seth knew, of course, his Dad didn't buy it, that there was no way he could pull off any kind of excuse.
Sandy shook his head. "You need to catch up on all your work, and if it happens again you will suspended. You don't want that on your record, got it kid?"
Seth nodded, he was thinking about Josh again, he couldn't help it.
Sandy had noticed it, the minute Seth had walked into the kitchen. The kid was practically glowing, he was trying to suppress an ear-to-ear smile. Sandy had meant to discipline him when he got home, meant to yell at him about missed opportunities and the importance of school. Yet instead founding himself accepting Seth's not even feeble excuse. Mostly because when Seth had turned his head, Sandy had seen, just below his collar, a hickey. He had been skipping school to make out with a girl, he was on cloud nine, his son was so rarely happy, he wasn't going to ruin this for him. Sandy still remembered all to well his first girlfriend, the giddy feeling in the pit of your stomach, Sandy didn't have the heart to crush it.