Disclaimer: The OC isn't mine! I swear!
A/N: So yet again, homosexual situations abound. Be prepared.
Please leave a review if you are reading this, i'd like to know how many people actually like it, and what you think of it.
Saturdays at the office were a regular occurrence for Sandy and Kirsten, so Seth set out from an empty house the next morning. He was going to be early, he knew that. But his feet had been itching to kick him out the door since his Dad woke him up at 8:30 to tell him he was leaving. He had put them off with a shower, and a bagel, but after that there were no excuses.
He arrived at the pier at 11, much too early, yet he still skated past the arcade in the feeble hope that Josh would be there. He wasn't.
Seth took a deep breath, he knew from reading strange girly magazines that boys didn't like girls, or other boys for that matter, that were too eager. Seth would not be too eager, or at least he would try. He took a seat as the end of the pier and watched the ocean. Yet at 11:20 he found himself back at the arcade. He didn't quite know what he should do. He simply didn't have the patience for this, he had been thinking about this boy all night, and all morning and all he wanted to do was see him. He sat down on the bench outside the arcade, attempting to stop his jittery leg from going berserk. However with all that thinking about Josh, he had also had to think about something more. He was gay. He knew that now. He had been all along, he had just been waiting for a moment like this, a moment to prove that he could be himself, a moment to prove that it wasn't a mistake, that it wasn't wrong.
"Hey queer!" Seth swore under his breath, ducking his head, he didn't want this right now, and four water polo players calling him a queer were not helping him come to terms with his homosexuality.
"I'm talking to you queer!"
Seth looked up.
"I see you, and I also see the five o'clock shadow you have growing on your chest, you may want to attend to that." Seth said in his usual sarcastic voice, his heart was beating away, they weren't in school now, they could do anything they wanted to him.
"Whaddya say to me queer?" Jay stepped closer to him, menacing. Seth was stuck in his sitting position, with nothing but his skateboard.
"Nothing." He wished he could get the shake out of his voice, he wished he could be stronger.
"Damn right queer." Before he knew, he yet again had hands grabbing his t-shirt and he was pulled to a standing position and was being hauled down to pier. He didn't say anything, he couldn't, what could he possibly say in this situation? He was a queer and he was going to get beat up for it.
The ocean lapped noisily under the pier, and what sounded like a thousand footsteps above them. Seth wondered if one of those footsteps was Josh, waiting for him. That gave Seth some hope. Even after this was over, he had Josh.
"We've been waiting for his queer. No rules, no suspension. Just us, versus you. So lets see what you got." Seth had never been in a fight in his life. He didn't know how to punch, kick, or maul anybody, he was skinny, unathletic and Jewish, he wondered if he should even try. Just as he took a running tackle at Luke. Which of course ended with him in the sand, Luke on top of him, swinging.
A punch in the face hurt more than he imagined it would, it hurt it made his eyes water and clamp his teeth together, as the entire right side of his face pulsed, and throbbed. He didn't say anything. He didn't say anything as Jay kicked him in the ribs, he didn't say anything when Tobin kicked him in the gut, nor did he say anything when Luke stuffed a handful of sand and ocean water in his mouth, and ran away leaving him choking, unable to breathe, and hurt in more ways than one.
He forced himself up, they were gone now. All he wanted to do was go home, but he couldn't stand up Josh, he was the one force that was keeping him going and he couldn't lose him.
He brushed himself off as much as he could, knocked the sand off his face, and his hair, touched his face gingerly, the skin felt puffy and soft. He put his palm over his ribs, where he could still feel the indent of Tobin's expensive Nike's. He didn't want to know what he looked like.
Josh was waiting in the same spot Seth had previously been sitting. Seth's skateboard, left abandoned, sitting by his feet.
"Hey."
Josh raised his head, his head phones still in his ears, the sun glinting off his hair. Josh raised a pierced eyebrow, and pulled out his ear phones, standing up quickly.
"What the hell happened?" His voice was soft and concerned, and it made Seth's heart jump.
Seth shook his head.
"It doesn't matter. Where do you want to go?"
Josh took another step towards him, reached up and very softly touched his face, Seth cringed.
"Is there more?" He gestured towards Seth's body.
"What does it matter?" Seth asked. "I couldn't have done anything against it. Deny that I'm a queer? What's the point? Tell them I am a queer? They would know that they have been right the whole fucking time, and you think then they would leave me alone? Run away? Where am I going to go that they won't find me?" Seth had raised his voice, taken a step away from Josh, just when he thought that this boy understood him.
Josh took a hold of Seth's wrists.
He spoke softly. "Seth, it's okay, I know what you're saying. I know how it feels to be powerless, but you don't have to be. You and me, we can lean on each other now." Seth had the urge to kiss him, just a quick kiss on the cheek, but he didn't have the guts to.
"Come on, let's get out of here." Seth picked up his skateboard, and they walked off the pier.
Seth hesitated for a second before heading up the hill to his house. He knew it would be empty. It was always empty. His Dad wouldn't be home for at least a few hours, his Mom probably wouldn't be home till night fall, bearing take out. He hesitated again, worried for a second what Josh would think of him when he saw his house, the extravagance, the money that dripped off his house. But they headed upwards anyway.
Making casual conversation, about everything unconfrontational, nothing worrying, instead they talked of Grand theft Auto, they talked of Goodbye Lenin! And Kerouac.
Seth pulled open the door. "This is it."
"Wow." Josh replied in a small voice, craning his neck around the gigantic entranceway.
"It's really nice Seth." Josh said pulling his eyes back to Seth.
"Uh what do you want to do?"
Josh shrugged.
"Uh we could play station, go swimming, I could show you my room." Seth shook his head at himself, way to be stealth he told himself, inviting Josh up to his room!
Josh grinned. "I'll take the latter."
Seth lead him up the stairs, his heart jumping a beat when Josh took his hand, he took in a deep breathe.
"This is it."
Josh sat down on his bed, his face serious, as Seth closed the door.
"Seth, take off your shirt."
Seth darted his eyes around the room, for once wondering what exactly he had gotten himself into. This was seeming a little straightforward.
"Excuse me?" He finally said, not making eye contact with the black clad boy sitting on his bed.
"I know you don't think its serious, and I know you don't want to talk about it. But you shuffled, and favoured your left side the whole way here, they might have broken something, so let me see."
Seth had thought he had kept the painful look off his face, as his left chest continued to throb, but clearly he wasn't quite as stealth as he thought. He wondered what made Josh such an expert. But he took off his shirt anyway, pain shooting up his body, as he raised his arms over his head, to pull off his t-shirt.
Josh stood chest to chest with him, standing slightly shorter than him, looking up at him just slightly, as he ran his fingers down Seth's bare chest. Despite the pain, he found his nerves going crazy, his whole body was tingling, following Josh's fingers.
There was a spot on his left side that was already turning a shade of blue, Josh ran his fingers down it, leaving a trail of heat behind him.
"Your ribs aren't broken." Josh whispered to him. They were so close together, he didn't need to speak at a level any higher. Seth could feel Josh's breath on his neck, as he leaned down to kiss him.
Josh reacted almost immediately. Moving his arms to envelop Seth, pulling him closer, pulling him down to Seth's bed.
Seth could have stayed there forever, with his hands up Josh's shirt, Josh's hands on his bare chest, as they continued to kiss, deeper and deeper. Seth couldn't feel the difference between his breath and Josh's, until the taste of Josh's mouth, felt like his own.
Josh pulled away, pulling Seth closer, nuzzling into his neck. Seth breathed in his smell, the softness of his hair, the feel of his skin, soft under his shirt.
"I could stay here forever." Seth breathed.
"Me too."
They just laid there for long minutes, cuddling, pulling each other closer.
"Seth, when do your parents get home?" Josh asked quietly.
Seth thought for a moment, this was not actually the most key thing in his mind at this moment.
"Uh around 5?"
"Do they know?" His voice was soft, but there was almost something behind it, menacing.
"No. Do you parents know?"
Josh shifted away from him, ever so slightly. "My mom does, my Dad really isn't in my life, so yeah."
Seth wasn't sure what to say, he didn't really want to move, he couldn't remember a time when he had felt so content, yet at the same time he knew what Josh was hinting at. Was he comfortable with the idea that his Dad could walk in? With accidentally outing Seth?
"We should probably get up." Josh agreed, almost too quickly, rolling away from him, off the bed. Seth moved slower, prolonged time in one spot had brought out the pain in the side of his chest. He struggled to put his shirt back on.
Sandy couldn't wait to get home, this case, the interviews and the research for his upcoming trial was getting to him, there was only so much he could take of punk ass kids whose lives where going down the drain and they didn't care.
He was walking to the kitchen, throwing his briefcase hazardly on the table, when he heard voices, Seth's voice and he wasn't alone. Sandy was a little intrigued, Seth hadn't mentioned having a friend over, and he didn't have any friends.
"Seth?" He called out walking slowly into the living room.
"Hi Dad."
Sandy came into view, only to find his son sitting on the floor with the play station, and another boy beside him.
"Uh this is Josh, he's a friend of mine from the arcade down on the pier."
"We ran out of quarters." Josh supplied.
Sandy looked at him, and wasn't sure he liked what he saw. He saw a boy of maybe 16, sitting on his floor in baggy black pants, held with a studded leather belt, and a black t-shirt with some band name he never understood. But it wasn't that which made him uneasy. It was his face, the way he hid behind his hair, the piercing he had, the way his eerie eyes that were flecked with amber looked at him. He didn't quite seem normal, and there was a feeling in the air that didn't quite seem normal, but that thought was pushed away when Seth turned his head. He took a step over.
"Seth? What happened to your face?" His left eye was puffy, and turning a nice shade of purple. His son had a black eye, and he wanted to hear why. Seth was not a confrontational person, he knew that much, he didn't get into fights. So why then would he have a black eye?
Seth was looking at him, uneasy, looking the same way he did when he was a little boy and he didn't want to tell.
"I got into a fight."
"Did you?" Sandy didn't believe it. "Was it really a fight, or was it an ambush?"
"Dad! I don't want to talk about this."
"Well I do."
"Seth, I'm gonna take off, I'll see you at the arcade." Sandy could tell that Josh couldn't wait to get out of the living room, as he rushed past him.
"Well I'm waiting Seth."
"So what they ambushed me, what does it matter? What does any of it matter? It's not like I could have done a damn thing to stop it. So tell Mom whatever you want, I don't want to talk about it."
Seth threw himself down on his bed. He was angry, not only had his Dad practically pushed Josh out of the house, but he didn't have Josh's phone number, nor any way to contact him, Josh was gone and Seth wasn't sure when he'd see him next. Perhaps worse, was that his Dad was probing into his life, like he actually cared? He had never cared before. He asked all the parental questions. How was school? How was your test? How was sailing? But it wasn't like he actually listened to what he had to say.
He pushed into his bed, a bit more. It smelled like Josh, his pillows, his bed spread, all had that same ocean, old spice smell, and all he wanted was him back.
Seth headed out the next morning, hoping that Josh would have been thinking the same thing he had been thinking. He hoped Josh would be sitting outside the arcade, waiting for him. As Seth rounded the corner, he breathed a sigh of relief that caught in his chest. There he was, slouched over, his ear phones in his ears, looking around for him.
He straightened up when he saw him, pulling out his earphones. Seth hoped it didn't matter that his Dad had been an asshole, or that his right eye was a disgusting shade of purple. When he got closer and saw Josh smiling, he knew that it didn't. This was exactly where he wanted to be.
"Come up to my room, my Dad will be gone for hours. He's working on a big case." Josh consented easily enough, probably because they both knew what would probably happen in Seth's room.
Josh sat down on Seth's bed, Seth sat beside him.
"I'm glad you were there." Seth said suddenly, silently cursing himself, he sounded pathetic. God he was emo.
Josh shrugged. "I wanted to see you."
Good god, Josh was emo too, Seth thought, life was good.
"Me too."
Josh broke over to kiss him.
Sandy pulled his car into the driveway, he was pleased that the other lawyer had agreed to a plea bargain, but at the same time, he was upset, because at the end of the day, he had just send a 16 year old kid to an adult penitentiary.
Seth's shoes and his skateboard were lying in the front hall, he hadn't spoken to him since he had demanded him to leave it alone yesterday afternoon. Sandy could not understand what was going on with his son. One minute he was so happy, skipping school, and coming home with hickies and gigantic grins, the next minute he was coming home with a black eye and refusing even to talk about what had happened. He was 16, Sandy could imagine things must be all kinds of complicated for him, but he still wished he would talk to him.
Sandy could hear his music playing softly, so he pushed his door open, knowing he would probably yell at him for not knocking, but he didn't feel like pleading with him to open the door, he wanted to talk to him face to face.
As he entered Seth's room, he was struck with something, that shocked his breath away. Seth, and Josh on his bed, kissing, one of Seth's hands was up Josh's shirt, Josh had his hands in Seth's hair. He couldn't find words to say, his mind was simply racing.
"Oh fuck." He heard Seth breath, as he scrambled away from Josh, off the bed, as Josh scrambled off the other side.
His son was gay, the mysterious girl was not a girl at all, but Josh. Him and Kirsten had talked about the potential of Seth being gay, but he never thought it would actually happen, he always thought he was just going through an awkward stage. That soon his son would muscle out, that he would find a sweet girl, he had so much hope the last few days. But now that hope was gone; his son was gay?
Josh practically ran out of the room his head down, leaving Seth and Sandy alone. Seth was looking at him defiantly.
His Dad was looking at him and there was something in his eyes, something Seth couldn't exactly read, something that almost looked like disappointment. But he supposed he should have expected it, should have expected that he would get caught, should have known there was no way he could keep this big chunk of his life a secret.
His heart was pounding, practically out of his chest. He could still feel Josh's hands in his hair. How could he explain this, with his Dad looking at him like that? He considered for a moment just bolting for the door, following Josh, going wherever. He turned his attention back to his Dad, still looking at him. What would his Mom say when she found out?
"Don't look at me that way Dad, so now you know." He couldn't bring himself to look at his Dad.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Seth could see a million reasons running through his head.
"I don't know, because maybe I didn't want you to know because of the way you would treat me, the way you would look at me, the different way you'd treat Josh."
"I'm not going to treat you any different Seth."
Seth could feel the anger building in his chest with every second that passed.
"Then why are you looking at me that way?" Seth walked off, he could stand the tension in the air anymore, he couldn't stand that look. Was it pity? Anger?
He didn't know, but he hated it.