Disclaimer: I don't own the OC.

A/N: If you've gotten this far.. you know all about the gayness. Consider yourself warned.

Enjoy ;)

Sandy was at a crossroads that he knew. Today would be one of those days that he could look back on, as a day that changed most things. Yet what did he have to show for it? An angry son, disappointed, hurt, confused hiding in his room, refusing to leave or even to answer Sandy's pleas. He wasn't angry, he didn't pity him, he wasn't disappointed but he didn't know the words to say that.

Perhaps now, even worse, he had to tell Kirsten. He loved his wife and he knew she loved their son, unconditionally, but there was a catch. She was from an upper class world, where everything was organized, properly dressed and straight. Kirsten had largely ignored Seth's troubles in school, and socially for these very reasons. But this was something she couldn't ignore, something she couldn't turn a blind eye to. Something she had to face, head on. He worried how she might take it.

He strummed his fingers on the countertop and waited for the sound of her car in the driveway.

Seth punched his pillow. Good God, he was an idiot. A fucking idiot. How could he have been so stupid as to have brought Josh home when he didn't know when his Dad would be back? Why hadn't he put something heavy in front of the door? He had been gay for less than a week and already he had been outed. This was certainly not ideal. Certainly not stealth.

He punched his pillow again. And what was up with Josh just taking off? Not a look back, not even sticking around to even try to help him facilitate some sort of outlandish excuse. Just gone. Did he really not care about him? What was this to Josh?

He never wanted to see his father again. If he could avoid it, he would. That look in his Dad's eyes had just burned into his soul, that look told him exactly what his Dad's gut instinct was. Of course, he would cover it up; of course, he would pretend he was fine with it. Seth was after all his only son, and he did love him unconditionally, but Seth would always know the disgust he had seen in his Father's eyes. His Mom was going to be a different story all together; there would of course be denial on her behalf. The protesting of "it's just a phase". The constant talk of girls to lure him back to the straight side. Perhaps it would just be better, Seth thought if he cuddled up in a corner with Captain Oats and never came out. Die a slow, shrivelling death, while his parents' pound on the door that it's alright that he likes boys. He would certainly remember to put something heavy in front of the door this time.

Seth shook his head, pulling himself back to reality, he would have to leave his room, he would have to face his parents, there may even be a "talk" involved, and he would see Josh again. He would ask him flat out what he meant by running off. He would get answers and make up his decision from there. Because damnit it just wasn't cool.

Sandy heard the noise he had been expecting for the last half an hour. The sound of Kirsten's car pulling into the driveway. He listened with his heart pounding, as the front door open, he heard her keys jingling as she put down her briefcase, took off her jacket.

She called his name. He responded with a grunt. He couldn't pinpoint why he was so nervous, maybe he was on edge from the events of earlier, or perhaps he was worried this would not only be a huge wedge driven between him and his son, but also him and his wife. Kirsten rounding the corner to the kitchen. "Hey Sandy. How was your day?" She asked leaning in to kiss him. Sandy returned the kiss, but there was no time for niceties, this was a conversation that had to happen now.

"You'd better sit; we have something rather important to talk about. I suppose, it really isn't very serious, but it will require some changes on our part, and an open mind." Sandy wanted to make it clear to her that despite his original reaction, based mainly on shock, that he would be fine with this, in the end.

Kirsten sat, her face was pale, her blue eyes scared.

"What is it? Is it Seth, is Seth alright?"

Sandy took her hands. "Seth is fine, but we need to talk about him."

Sandy didn't want to tiptoe around this, he had to jump right into this. "I walked into his room, about an hour ago; I didn't knock, and discovered him in a precarious position." Kirsten cracked a small smile.

"Anyone we know?"

"This person he was with is a boy named Josh." Kirsten didn't seem to quite get it at first, she smiled slightly, and then looking at his face, the smile slowly slid off, her eyes darting around.

Seth had been pacing around his room for an hour. His Mom's car had pulled in fifteen minutes ago; he forced him to stop the imagination of the conversations that might be going on below. Every imagination got worse. To radical clinics, to outright laughter, to gay jokes, expulsion from the family, expulsion to boarding school? What could it possibly be?

He decided rather suddenly, that he didn't want to wait around for it. He didn't want to see the first looks, and unlike previously decided he did not want to crawl in a ball and never come out. He wanted out of here, and now.

He scooped up his backpack from the floor, tossed rather hazardly when he and Josh had arrived in the room. That seemed like a very long time ago now, Seth thought as he pulled the screen out of his window. He had never snuck out of his room before, but luckily for him, there was a ledge on the wall about five feet down, then a small fall to the bush below, which he sincerely hoped would break his fall, rather than breaking him. Now or never, Seth breathed, as he chucked out his backpack and lowered himself out the window.

He arrived at the beach breathless, after telling himself, for ten minutes, that surely he would not be there. Certainly not. After all Josh had a life, that he never talked about, but that was beside the point. He had one. Seth was sure he had things to do.

Yet his first instinct was right, there he was. He was sitting, almost in the surf the waves almost reaching his shoes, hugging his knees, looking right ahead.

Seth was practically beside him, when Josh looked up. He jumped up, stepped away.

"Oh God, I'm sorry Seth."

Seth didn't want to hear apologies right now. "Why did you just run out on me like that? I needed you there, do you know how my Dad looked at me?" Seth's voice was cracking, but he starred straight at him. Seth was an emotional wreck he needed answers.

Josh shrugged. "I don't know, I thought I would cause a problem, I didn't know what kind of guy your Dad was. If he was just going to yell, or hit you, or not say a word, I didn't want to make things worse."

Seth weighed Josh's excuse in his head. At this moment, this was all he had, Josh. He didn't want to lose him over a stupid thing, maybe not such a stupid thing, but well Seth was willing to make sacrifices.

"He tried to tell me, he tried to tell me it was alright. He told me he wouldn't treat me any differently, but the way he was looking at me! He was just so disgusted." Seth's eyes were stinging, filling with tears, he didn't want to cry. Not in front of Josh. Seth sat down, not wanting to catch Josh's eye.

"And my Mom, oh god. She lives in this perfect little community, with these perfect people, that hide all their little problems under money and make-up. Nothing is ever wrong with them. And me?" The tears were flowing now, down his face, dripped down his jacket on to the sand. All his confusion, all his worries, and his feelings of ultimate failure they were all coming out.

Josh was beside him, his arm around him, pulling him in tighter. Seth couldn't help it, he did a reflex everyone would, he put his arm around him and cried into Josh's shirt. Josh smelled the same way he always did, the same way his pillow had smelt when he had gone to sleep last night, the same way he had when he had pulled him in close that morning.

Seth pulled away, almost violently. His tears were gone now. He suddenly felt like throwing up.

"I can't do this. There is no way. I can't be this person. I can't be with you. I can't." He was talking fast, stuttering, his head was spinning. He couldn't do this.

"I can't."

Seth was standing a good ten feet from Josh. Who continued to just sit there, Seth's tearstains on his shirt. Looking up at him, with his eyes on him, those eyes, that Seth couldn't resist. Those eyes that made his heart jump and all they looked were sad.

Seth hesitated, looking at him, feeling what he felt for him. Even after knowing him for such a short period. Looking at him he felt things he had never felt. He felt happy, he felt connected, and strangely, he almost felt normal. Surely this giddy feeling that was forcing its way up through hurt, confusion and pain in his gut, is what everyone felt when they met someone they felt an instant attraction to. Surely.

In his one moment of hesitation, Josh was on his feet and in two strides had Seth in his arms, holding him tight.

"We can." Josh whispered in his ear.

TBC