It was after midnight and Chad snuck out of his house to show the golden warthog, that his dad bought, to Mitch, his lifelong friend. Chad was beneath Mitches window, throwing rocks at his house to wake his sleepy ass up.
"PSSSSSS...Mitch!(Throws Rock)...Mitch!"(Throws Another Rock)Dammit...-SIGH- (pulls out rocket launcher, LOCKS ON to the window) -BOOM!- Mitch wakes and pops up out of the blackened window.
"DUMBASS! You're paying for that!"
"Dude, I got something awesome to show you!"
"7minutes later"
"THE GOLDEN WARTHOG..." Mitch was glaring and drooling over his SMG, as R Kelly would at the kids' choice awards.
"oh my god...INDUSTRUCTABLE TURRET! BULLET PROOF WINDOWS! XM RADIO!" Mitch was rapidly saying what was there.
"Dude, shut the fuck up! My dad's still sleeping!"
"We gotta drive this! Let me hotwire this since your dad won't lend you the keys!"
"No fucking way! My dad will be pissed!"
"13seconds later"
-DING!- "Dude, shut up, someone's gonna hear us!"
"Faggot, we're in a garage and gimme dat screwdriver!"
"Mitch, where did you learn how to hot wire a car?"
"On the History channel."
"History on what?"
"History on "Worlds Most Stupid Criminals." Chad looked at Mitch blankly.
"DAMMIT! This is not gonna work... Wait a minute, Chad won't you just sneak into your old man's room?"
"Hell no, thats too risky and nothing you say is gonna make me do it..."
"9.3seconds later"
"I'll wait in the GOLDEN WARTHOG..."
"...Fuck..."
Chad crept along through his stairway up to where the bedrooms were. He opened his dad's door very slowly. His dad was laying on his stomach with a bottle of Hennesy in his hand.
"Must've passed out"
Chad spotted the keys with the Pikachu key chain. Chad slowly reached for the keys, but once he touched it...
"What're you doin'?" (all drunk like)
"uh, dad can I borrow the keys to the golden warthog?" He thought he could ask since he was all drunk.
"Sure, go 'head..." He slowly went back to sleep.Chad went back to the garage where Mitch and the golden warthog was.
"Aww, Shit dude! You actually stole your dad's keys! Chad went along with it cuz he felt like a hero.
"Uhh, Yeah dude I was like a fucking ninja Y'Know?
-Door Opens-
"Chad,(takes a sip out of the bottle)When you bring the car back, there better not be a scratch on it, or I'll whip out the belt
-Door Closes-
"Nice going, ninja. Just start the car!"
Chad and Mitch went all over the city, off road and on road, listening on the XM Radio, and singing along with it.
"Play that funky music, white boy"
"Listen to your heart, like its calling for you"
"Oops, I did it agai-"
"Okay, thats where I draw the line!" chad turns off radio.
"C'Mon man, that was my shit!"
"Lets do something else!"
"Like what? We did everything on the warthog...except..."
"2minutes later"
"GTA, MOTHERFUCKER!" Mitch was yelling at the top of his lungs. They were drive-bying with the turret everywhere like:
At a liquor store,
"AHH, ROBBERS"
At Michael Jackson's House,
"AHH, ANGRY PARENTS"
At the Crips' 'Hood,
"AHH, BLOODZ!
At a KKK meeting,
"AHH, NIGGERS!"
They were unstoppable...Well, just until they got tired
"Alright, drop me off -yawns-"
It was 5:00 in the morning and they were tired as hell...
"Later, Dude."
"Later."
Chad went back to his house, but he also noticed there were severe scratches on the warthog.
-Yawns-"I'll fix it up later"
When he opened the door, his dad was on the La - Z - Boy chair, watching TV.
"Did you get scratches on the warthog?"
"Uhhhh..No" his lips say no but his eyes said "FUCK YEAH!"
"I thought I told you no scratches on the WARTHOG!"
"NO! DAD I'M SORRY -Whipping sound-OW! -Whipping sound - I'M SORRY! - Louder whipping sound-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..."
THE END (But the beating ends in 12 minutes)