Disclaimer: Own nothing of FF.
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Chapter 2: Of Tifa whupping Log.
Cloud walked into the building, and was automatically attacked by Reno. Cloud side stepped him and Reno ended up charging outside instead; and falling off the railing. Bored, Cloud closed the door as Reno screamed making impact w/ the ground.
And thusly Kat yelled, 'NO. SEXY RENO MAN! I HAVENT GOTTEN TO MOLEST YOU YET! BAD CLOUD...CLOUDO!"
Cloud ignored the odd voice in his head, figuring it was just Aeris…Wait, Aeris wanted RENO?
Next Rude, the odd bald man; came out. He cracked his knuckles, but thought better of attacking when he saw Cloud's huge ass sword.
" You look sexy, Rude!" screamed Reno, from outside, as if trying to confirm that he was part of FF7.
Rude sighed and shook his head.
And cloud sighed and looked confused as an all-knowing wheelchair...wheeled in...wait, no, that was a dude! And he had a blanket covering his every feature...except half his face, leaving us all to sit there, be pissed and wonder who mysterious wheelchair was.
Wheel chair man bumped face first into a wall, what were u expecting, I mean, it was covering his face.
Rude quickly rushed over to Wheel Chair and wheeled him away from the wall that he smashed himself into.
" What do you want?" asked Cloud.
" I request your services." said wheel chair man.
Cloud cocked an eyebrow.
" Let's get something straight, it was only once, okay! I didn't dress in drag cause I wanted to!" cried Cloud.
Everyone gave him an odd look.
" I meant body guard services…" said WheelChair, blinking.
" Is that you, Rufus?"
" No…really."
" Really?"
" Your such a blonde…"
" Hey!" screamed Reno, banging against the door, " Let me in! Or I'll huff and puff, and blow-"
" Shutup, Reno." said Rufus, with a sigh.
" Who were those men who attacked me?" asked Cloud.
" Kadaj's gang," explained Rufus, " Their reckless, young and metro sexual."
" Why was he whining about his mother?"
" You know kids these days. Going on killing sprees to find their birth mother."
"…No."
" Oh. Well, its 'in' now. Its not like I got Jenova's neck in a box."
"Okay…"
" So, will you be my bodyguard?"
" Not interested."
And then there was this odd voice...from seemingly out of nowhere.
"Ohh come on, chickenshit, take the job! Be a bodyguard! Drop the paper boy routine!" and the pissed-off voice was muffled.
"Shut it, Kat, he'll hear you!" another voice snapped. A loud oww and a curse from the nicer- sounding voice.
"STUPID PANSY! SEPHIROTH PWNZZZZZ YOU!"
"SHUT UP, KAT!"
"I WILL NOT, SEPHIROTH AND KADAJ PWN YOU! mmm...sephiroth and kadaj...yaaaaaooooi..."
"shut- shut up, shut up!" the other voice chanted and yelled "IMAGES!"
" Aw, come on; Ex-Soldier Cloudo!" said Reno.
" Only I can call myself that," said Cloud, and led himself out.
He left the place, leaving everyone to wonder what the hell that had to do with anything.
Meanwhile…
Tifa and Marlene were at the Church. Cloud's church.
2 years and he still isn't over her…thought Tifa, bitterly.
" Look at all these flowers!" cried Marlene, then spotted a random, dirty piece of white ribbon, " Oh no! It's like Denzels! Is he…infected?"
Tifa stared at it.
" Either that or he doesn't bathe much," said Tifa, " He could of told us."
" That he doesn't practice personal hygiene?"
Tifa ignored her and said, " He doesn't even plan on fighting Geotstigma…that damn, emo, spikey haired jerk!"
Marlene politely tuned out Tifa during her " Why can't Cloud love me?" rant. That's also when someone walked into the church.
" Cloudo!" cried Marlene.
Nope, she was wrong. It was Log.
" Want to play?" asked Log.
Tifa gave him an odd look.
" Pedophile!" cried Marlene.
" Wait! That's not what I meant!" said Log, tears beginning to fall, " Stop twisting my words around!"
Log wiped away his tears and blew his nose into a hanky.
" I see. You don't want to play." he said, trying to put up the macho façade and failing, miserably, " Where's mother?"
" How am I supposed to know?" asked Tifa, exploding at him, " You barge in here, saying creepy, pedophilic things, and then you expect me to know where your mother is!"
Log began to bawl again, " You don't have to shout!"
She felt slightly guilty, and mumbled an apology.
Suddenly, he charged at her; Tifa side stepping him. Fancy hand to hand combat ensues. Long story short, she slams Log into the floor, with his wooden breathen of the same name.
That's when the victory music played. And out of sheer reflex, Tifa did her victory stance thing. Until she realized that it was Log's phone.
Log answered his phone and barked into it, " No! I was not crying! What? No, Mother's not here…Bring the girl?"
Tifa got into fighting stance again, and Log said, " Let's continue."
He threw a bench at her, and Tifa shattered it with her fist. With inhuman speed, Log got behind her and electrocuted her. Tifa screamed and fell back on the flower bed.
Log got on top of her-Wait! That's not what it looks like! He was about to deliver the final blow, when Marlene hit him with a materia ball. He turned and screamed, " You gave me a boo-boo!"
This brought a fresh batch of tears from Log, and an awkward scernio for Marlene.
Luna: Hope you liked it! REVIEW!